Halo
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A/N-thank you very much for the kind reviews on this story.
Chapter Twenty-Two-The Painful Truth
When the anger boiled up, he had to unleash it. There was too much going on in his brain and body for him to handle. All the pent-up rage that he had held inside after his tense confrontation with his mother came out faster than magma and just as destructive. It consumed all that he was and the target of his wrath this time was an inanimate rock. Kylo had left the base, fuming like a thunder cloud, seeking a safe place, far from any prying eyes, where he could just completely let go. Fiery red sparks flew around him as he hacked and chopped at the large mass of stone with his flaming saber.
"What did the rock ever do to you?" Han's voice coming from behind made him spin around in surprise. He had been so consumed by the red mist that it had allowed his father and Chewie to sneak up on him unawares.
Looking as if he had just been caught in a sudden storm, with his thick black hair lying like a second skin across his cheeks, Kylo switched off his saber and glared sternly at his father. His heart was heavy and there was a rising feeling of nausea in his stomach. It never ceased to amaze him that the muscles that were working so hard only seconds ago now struggled to hold his weight now his anger had drained away.
"What's going on, Ben?" Han asked cautiously when his earlier remark didn't elicit the desired response.
The sweat was a dark and growing map down the front of Kylo's black undershirt. He ran his fingers vigorously threw his hair, pushing the wet strands back from his face. "I'm just working out." He muttered. "No big deal."
Han put his hands on his hips. "Ben, I thought we were past this." He paused, exchanging a worried glance with Chewie. "I take it your little talk with the kid didn't go so well."
Kylo huffed out a frustrated sigh. "This has nothing to do with Rey."
"Then what?" Han pressed. "You can tell me. I'm not going to judge."
"Just leave it. It doesn't matter." Kylo knew his father was trying his best, but he really didn't feel in the mood to confide in him about his latest disappointing interaction with his mother. He had been a fool to cling to the false hope that she might actually show she cared. His relationship with Han might have turned a corner, but the one with Leia remained as strained as ever. There was too much estrangement between them. Her commitment to the galaxy would always come first.
Han turned to his best friend-the Wookie with a life debt, who loved him. Yes, life debt or not Chewie was always at his side when he needed him. Call it Karma, call it insanity, call it a blessing from the tree gods, but he always had him to rely on when things in his life went south. Sometimes they only talked to make other people comfortable, they knew each other too well to need words. They didn't need words now. Chewie let out a faint whine as he lumbered away, giving father and son the privacy, they needed.
"You saw your mother." Han guessed when the Wookie was out of sight. "What did she say?"
"To me?" Kylo offered up bitterly. "Nothing. It was all about Skywalker."
Han's face froze. His mouth was slightly turned down, his eyebrows were curved downwards too; he looked like he was ready to explode. "Did you explain?"
"Like she would even believe me. She wants nothing to tarnish her perfect image of Skywalker." Kylo continued resentfully.
"I see." Han locked his serious gaze on his son. "Let your old man deal with this."
"I don't need you defending me." Kylo retorted.
"You're wrong. That's exactly what you need." Han countered. "Stay here."
"No."
"Then go and wait for me on the Falcon."
"No."
"Ben!" Han exploded in frustration. "Just do as you're told." Kylo was about to refuse again when Han's next words changed his mind. "Before I came here, I'm sure I saw the kid heading in the direction of the Falcon."
"Rey? Why would she be going to the Falcon?" Kylo asked suspiciously.
"I have no idea, but she was carrying a huge bag." Han shrugged nonchalantly.
Kylo's heart began pounding so hard against his ribcage as his pulse pressed outward, jerking the veins within. Why was she carrying a packed bag? Was she planning on leaving? "I'll wait for you on the Falcon." He called over his shoulder to Han as he ran off without waiting for a further explanation.
"I thought you might." Han refrained from rolling his eyes as he watched him go.
Rey smiled in relief as she picked up her quarterstaff and felt the familiar weight in her hands. She had left it behind on the Falcon after all. She thought it was gone forever. The weapon was like a part of her and she felt lost without it. She twirled the staff gracefully in her hands, before reversing the grip and taking a defensive stance. Smiling slightly, she stepped back and took another few practise swings against an imaginary opponent. Gods, it felt good! Rey spun around again, twirling the staff in a graceful arc, before jabbing it forward, only to let out a startled cry when she found it pointing directly at Kylo's abdomen. He seemed to have come out of nowhere.
"What are you doing here?" She questioned, feeling flustered at his unexpected appearance.
"What are you doing?" Kylo turned the question around on her. He was drawing in great puffs of air as if he had just finished running a long race. His cheeks were flushed, his chest rising and falling with each expelled breath.
"What happened to waiting until I came to talk to you?" Rey retorted sharply.
"I was waiting, until Han said he saw you heading this way with a packed bag. Are you leaving?" Kylo's accusing gaze landed on the bulging bag that lay at her feet.
"No."
"Then what's in the bag?"
"That's none of your business."
"Rey, tell me the truth." Kylo pleaded as she glared at him defensively. He bent down to retrieve the bag.
A flicker of panic registered in Rey's hazel eyes when she saw him reaching for the bag. She tried to snatch it out of his grasp, but it was impossible. They engaged in a tug of war, but the strain on the hessian bag soon proved too much. It split and several food parcels spilled onto the metal flooring, followed by a sealed cannister of water and basic medical supplies.
"Oh, Rey, I'm so sorry." Kylo turned to face her, his voice thick with remorse as realisation dawned. She was hoarding food and water. She was following what she had been taught on Jakku-living her whole life in a state of near starvation- scavenging vital supplies in readiness for the next catastrophe was like second nature for her.
"Don't look at me like that." Rey's cheeks were burning with shame.
"Like what?"
"Like you pity me!"
"That's not what I'm doing. I understand, Rey." Kylo put his hand softly on her thin shoulder as a token of his sympathy, but Rey shrugged him off.
"You have no idea what its like. So, don't say you understand, because you don't." Rey cried bleakly, her eyes were huge and glassy with tears. "Living on Jakku, how to stop hunger was the number one obsession. I saw things I can't scrub from my mind. People ate stuff that wasn't food, not caring if it killed them, only that it ended the gnawing pain. When I'm hungry, I can't think of anything but food. I hoard as much as I can because it can mean the difference between life and death."
"And yet, even though it meant starving yourself, you still chose to share what meagre portions you had with a complete stranger." Kylo reminded Rey gently as he hunkered down and began to gather up the food parcels. He placed them back in the torn hessian bag and passed them back to Rey. "I could never pity you, Rey. You're the strongest person I know. So much stronger than I could ever hope to be. You chose to show compassion and kindness to an undeserving ass like me, and I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for screwing up so badly."
Touched by his sincere apology, Rey clutched the bag of food to her chest and nodded slowly. "On one condition." She said carefully.
"Anything." Kylo begged.
"You make lunch." Rey answered with a small smile as she threw the bag back at him.
The Raddus, formerly known as the Dawn of Tranquility, was an MC85 Star Cruiser that served as the flagship of General Leia Organa. It was used by the Resistance during its war against the First Order. It was one of the last ships built before the signing of the Military Disarmament Act by the Galactic Empire and New Republic. The vessel gained the moniker Raddus upon its entry into the service of the Resistance, when Admiral Gial Ackbar petitioned to rename it in honour of the famed Admiral Raddus, who had died in service of the Alliance at the Battle of Scarif after defying the Rebel Alliance's political leaders and choosing to fight against seemingly insurmountable odds.
The primary command bridge was located at the bow of the ship, and this was where Han found Leia now. She had just finished chairing a meeting with the other senior Resistance officers about the emergency evacuation of the fleet from D'Qar. As soon as she laid eyes on her errant husband, she immediately began to make herself busy looking at some star charts.
"Now isn't such a good time." She said with her back to him.
Han's mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "If I had a credit for every time you said that to me throughout our marriage, I would be a rich man."
Leia threw him an irritated glance over her shoulder. "You would only have gambled them away."
Her pointed rejoinder touched a raw nerve with Han. His smile faded and his brows drew down into a frown. "Leia, we need to talk about Ben."
"I did what you asked. I spoke to him." Leia kept her back to Han as she helped herself to some Caf' from a pot in the middle of the conference table.
"From what Ben tells me, you spoke, but didn't listen." Han continued gruffly.
"I tried, Han. He was the one who chose to cut the conversation short. I don't know what you expect me to do." Leia's fingers trembled slightly as she closed them around the warm cup of Caf' and lifted it to her lips.
"I expect you to act like his mother and show some compassion." Han's voice rose as his impatience at her lack of engagement began to get under his skin. She was doing her usual avoidance tactic by refusing to face him directly.
"Compassion!" Leia snapped. She drained the last of the Caf' and clasped her hands together to stop them shaking. "Where was his compassion when he turned against Luke and destroyed everything he had built!"
Han scowled, his anger bubbling over at her continued defence of her brother. "Luke is a coward!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him.
Leia breathed as if no air would ever be enough, as if she were a drowning victim suddenly brought up from the depths. She shook her head in denial as she avoided looking directly at Han. "Why are you saying these things? It was Ben's actions that drove Luke into exile."
Han let go of her shoulders and took a step back, his eyes turning desolate as he delivered the killer blow. "Open your eyes. The real reason Luke exiled himself was because he tried to murder our son, Leia. He tried to kill Ben in his sleep."
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.