Halo
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A/N-thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.
Chapter Twenty-Six-Deal
Rey felt like a third wheel as she listened in amused silence to Finn and Rose gently teasing each other. After her awkward encounter with Leia, she had finally tracked her friend down, only to find Rose enjoying the company of the former stormtrooper. The two of them had really hit it off. Rey was pleased that Rose had found someone she could relate to so easily. She was actually enjoying watching their blossoming relationship, Finn was so considerate of Rose. He was full of emotional warmth and Rey knew that's exactly what Rose needed after losing her sister in such a tragic way. It put her heart at ease, knowing that she could leave with a clear conscience, because after talking to Leia, she had decided it was time to move on.
"I have to go, guys." Rey said when she finally found a gap in the conversation.
Rose's happy smile faded and she looked at Rey in confusion. "Go? You're not leaving?"
"I never intended to stay." Rey reached out for her friend's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You fit in here, Rose. I don't."
"That's not true." Rose insisted. "Tell her, Finn."
Finn looked at Rey and gave her an empathetic smile. "It's your choice of course…but I'm sure they can find you a role here. They've been very welcoming to me."
"That's good to hear." Rey returned his smile warmly. Finn was such a great guy. She was so glad that he and Rose had found each other.
"Where are you going to go?" Rose questioned. "Surely you're not going back to Jakku."
Rey sighed. "I'm not sure yet."
"If you don't know yet, then why go?" Rose was getting quite tearful. She didn't want to lose Rey so soon. Even though they had only been acquainted for a short while, it felt like she was losing Paige all over again. "Just give it a little more time…please."
"I'm sorry. I've made up my mind." Rey hated seeing Rose so upset. This was the part she had been dreading, the goodbyes. Time slowed down, as if her brain needed a 'photograph,' a keepsake to remind her of this moment in time. She leaned down and embraced Rose, hugging the petite girl with all the strength she possessed. "I'm so glad I met you. And I promise I will keep in touch."
"Oh, Rey." Rose sobbed when Rey let go. She still gripped her hand tightly. "Are you going off with him?"
Rey tensed slightly as she gently disentangled her fingers from Rose's tight grip. "You mean Ben." She corrected her.
"But this is about him." Rose persisted. "He's dangerous. He's Kylo Ren."
"Not to me." Rey smiled sadly as her eyes drifted to Finn. If anyone should have a strong opinion about Ben's alter ego, it should be him. To her surprise, she didn't see judgement or resentment in his eyes. In fact, he had been that way ever since she had come to know him. "Look after her for me." She whispered when she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I will." Finn promised sombrely. "And you make sure to look after you."
"Thank you." Rey gave him a grateful smile. "Until we meet again."
"Until we meet again." Finn murmured as he took Rose's hand in his and interlaced their fingers.
With one last tear shedding down her cheek, Rose echoed the sentiment. "Until we meet again."
BB-8 followed faithfully behind Rey as she ambled back to the Falcon. She was in no hurry to get there. She was still trying to come to terms with her bittersweet goodbyes to Rose and Finn. She hoped to see them again one day. But despite her sadness at leaving her new friends behind so soon after only just getting to know them, she knew it was the right decision for her. She may be leaving but in truth it was an escape, an emancipation from the shackles of her past. Rey hadn't realised how stagnant her life on Jakku had become until Ben. All those wasted years, hopelessly waiting for her parents to come back for her. This was it. This was goodbye to her past. Instead of just existing. She was going to start living. It was time to head for new horizons. To find out who she, Rey, really was.
"Hey!" The sound of a man angrily hailing her, disturbed Rey's thoughts. She halted, turning around slowly to find Poe Dameron striding determinedly toward her.
Rey heard BB-8 let out a low whistle of consternation at his master's approach. She hunkered down next to the jittery little astromech and patted the back of his dome head. "Don't worry, BB-8. I can handle myself."
"Hey!" Poe yelled again when he finally reached her. "That's my droid."
"Your droid!" Rey scoffed as she rose back onto her feet.
"Yes…. mine!" Poe answered irritably as he bent down to examine BB-8 for any signs of damage. "You good, buddy?"
Rey relaxed at the concern colouring Poe's voice when he spoke to BB-8. The one occasion where they had crossed paths with one another he had come across as a hot-shot pilot with a planet sized ego to match. It was nice to see that he was actually capable of thinking of someone other than himself. "BB-8 has kindly been keeping me company."
Poe pursed his lips and looked up at her through narrowed eyes. "It's a pity you don't think about the company you keep."
His accusation immediately put Rey on the defensive. "That's none of your business."
"It is when his presence here is putting us all at risk." Poe countered sharply as he stood up again.
Rey glowered at him, her own anger rising. "Without his help you wouldn't have been able to destroy Starkiller base…and if I understand things correctly, wasn't it you who put everyone at risk by firing on it too early."
"I saw an opportunity and I took it." Poe argued. "And we all know that his help came at a price." He looked at Rey pointedly and her cheeks flushed a dull red at what he was insinuating.
As they continued to bicker, BB-8's dome head swivelled back and forth between them miserably. The little droid may not be programmed to feel physical pain, but he was wired to feel it emotionally. And right now, he was hurt and conflicted. He didn't like the way Poe was yelling at Rey, and implying such mean things about Ben Solo. He knew from experience how reckless his master could be. On the many flying expeditions he had been on with Poe, often they had only managed to survive unscathed because of his superior flying skills and BB-8's ability to improvise and think of radical solutions when their ship was practically breaking apart around them.
BB-8 became more agitated as his inner conflict continued to rage inside him. He had been loyal to Poe since the first mission they had been paired on together, helping to keep his X-wing in working order. But since meeting Ben and Rey on Jakku, he had felt the first stirrings of rebellion grow inside him. He had reached an impasse.
"BB-8, come on." Poe demanded when Rey cut their argument short and began to walk away.
BB-8 froze momentarily as he looked up at his master's face. Poe was impatiently motioning for him to move. When he remained rooted in place, Poe let out a frustrated sigh. He took a few steps, then paused when he realised BB-8 wasn't obediently following him.
"What's wrong with you, buddy? I said come on." Poe ordered again.
BB-8's dome head swivelled around in Rey's direction. She was being swallowed up by the distance. He had heard her sentimental goodbyes to Rose and Finn. Soon she would be gone and he would never see her or Ben Solo again. BB-8 had been separated from Poe on numerous occasions in the past for one reason or another, but he had never felt as bad as he did now, watching Rey leave. He turned back to look at his master one last time as he made a final decision. "May we meet again." He said sadly to Poe in his binary language, before rolling away.
Rey found Kylo sitting at the base of the Falcon's ramp with his elbows resting on his knees. His head was bowed as if he was in deep thought. His hair lay black and poker straight, yet soft, moving like prairie grasses in the gentle wind. When she joined him, he gave her the sweetest smile, like just her mere presence lit up his world. Rey knew then she had made the right decision in choosing to leave. Others may judge this man and see him only as Kylo Ren, but she knew better. She trusted what her heart was telling her.
"Are you okay?" Kylo checked.
"I'm ready to leave." Rey met his unwavering gaze and smiled. Emotions, she thought, the very thing that make us human. You can have happiness, pride, excitement, relief. Every emotion considered good. But what would you be if you didn't feel hurt, or pain, or despair? You can't have the good without the bad. There is no light without darkness. That's what none of the others understood. The trick was to balance them, so the bad doesn't seem so terrible, and you can truly appreciate the good. Kylo needed to find that balance within himself, and Rey was willing to go on the journey with him to find it.
"Are you sure? What about your friend?" Kylo asked, though he couldn't stop his relief shining through.
"She's happy to stay here. I've already said my goodbyes. What about you?"
"There's nothing for me here." Kylo's brows drew down into a deep frown as his bitter thoughts turned to his mother. "I'm ready to move on, too."
"Where to?" Rey raised her eyes to the endless clear blue sky above them.
"They've found Skywalker. Han wants me to go with him and Chewie to confront him." Kylo revealed darkly.
"Then you should." Rey replied with conviction as she locked her gaze on his.
Kylo could see wind-stirred waves in her eyes. If he were brave enough to enter their depths, all else would blur and he'd fall so deep in love that he would choose to stay there, no matter what. Of that, he was completely sure. He wanted it so badly, his heart ached with longing. "I told him no."
"Why?" Rey asked softly.
"I can't do it alone." Kylo felt unaccustomed tears well in the corners of his eyes, tears that keep his soul alive in the furnace of his pain. "I don't trust myself."
"But you're not alone." Rey reminded him gently. "I'm here." She followed those words with a smile that was so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that an unexpected warmth rushed through him. "And BB-8 of course." She said, gesturing toward the little orange and white droid who was bolting straight toward them. "And if you confront your past. I'll confront mine." She promised.
Kylo's mouth twitched, and Rey was pretty sure he was fighting a smile. "Deal." He said.
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review!