Xander glanced at the time and saw the comic shop was still open. There were a couple of books in the gaming section that he figured might help him get some ideas on how to best use what he'd learned so he decided to pick them up.
Normally he'd wait until a used or damaged copy ended up in the discount bin, but he could afford to buy new at the moment and it would be stupid to wait.
"You need to leave your jacket and backpack off while you browse," Bob said automatically as Xander entered the store.
"On it," Xander agreed, heading to the gaming tables and dropping his stuff off next to Jonathan's and Andrew's. He noticed a fire damaged tome among their stuff and couldn't help but take a peek.
He was surprised to find it was Algernon Maybach's Guide to Basic Thaumaturgy. Of course Jonathan and Andrew were at Willow levels of intelligence so he really shouldn't have been surprised that they had figured out what was going on in Sunnydale and were studying what they needed to know to protect themselves, he decided.
Glancing at the sheaf of notes he saw that even they had gotten confused by the author's excessively obtuse writing style and occasional contradictory statement.
Placing the book back on top of their notes, he headed for the bargain bin. There was always a chance the books he was looking for could end up there, plus there was usually a manual or two that was fun to read and he could add to his RPG collection.
Andrew and Jonathan meanwhile came out of the new comic section and paid for their purchases. On reaching their table they noticed Xander's stuff and exchanged excited glances.
"We gotta talk to him," Jonathan said intently.
"Yeah, I have like, a billion questions," Andrew said, bouncing in place.
The pair waited for Xander as he bought a small stack of RPG manuals and returned to the table, practically bouncing in their seats.
"Hey guys," Xander said, pulling several notebooks from his backpack and handing them to Jonathan. "How long have you known something was going on around here?"
"Um," Andrew said as Jonathan was distracted paging through the notebooks, eyes wide, "a while. We're still not really sure of anything except that vampires exist and magic is real."
"That's a good place to start," Xander said.
"Who wrote this?" Jonathan asked as he continued reading, fascinated.
"I did," Xander replied.
"B-but this contradicts half of what we've read," Jonathan complained.
"Not really," Xander said. "See, the author is a dick."
"What?" Andrew asked.
"The guy sprinkles misconceptions and traps through the entire book, but he does it in such a way you've got to be sharp to catch them. For instance he talks about meditation techniques and then explains how you have to be of unconflicted emotion to exert your will to make minuscule changes to reality, but he never actually says you have to be completely calm. So long as you aren't of two minds about something it works fine, just concentrate on your dominant emotion and poof."
"Anger is a path to the dark side," Andrew warned, reading over Jonathan's shoulder.
"Magic isn't the Force, though there are some magics that do work that way," Xander said, recalling Amy's mom. "Of course this is Sunnydale, home of the Hellmouth, so it's best to be on guard anyway."
"Hellmouth?" Jonathan asked.
"Beneath the town is a Gateway to Hell," Xander explained. "It's sealed, but eh energy it radiates attracts vampires and demons… and also twists reality a bit to make some truly bizarre stuff possible."
"Demons?" Andrew asked nervously.
"Mostly you just have to worry about the vamps," Xander assured them. "Odds are slim you're going to run into anything else."
"Have you run into anything else?" Andrew asked curiously.
"All the time," Xander replied, "but then I'm part of a group that takes care of these things." He sighs as he thought of recent events. "I'm only going solo for the moment because I did something stupid and the girls are mad at me. Anyway rule number one, don't go looking for trouble, if you see something weird, tell me and I'll go looking for it."
"Wait," Andrew said, "If it just takes unconflicted emotion, then why couldn't I do it when I was just excited?"
"Because you were convinced you had to be calm," Xander replied. "Being able to do the whole Jedi instant calm thing is awesome, no lie, but it's something I can't do, especially in the heat of battle."
"We haven't been in the heat of battle," Jonathan admitted, embarrassed.
"Still better than me," Xander replied, "All my attempts at meditation end with me taking a really refreshing nap." He paused thoughtfully. "Maybe I should add that to my schedule, cause I really don't get near enough sleep."
"But it's easy," Andrew said, surprised Xander couldn't do it.
"Parties are composed of multiple different character classes because no one is good at everything," Xander replied.
"Can I at least multiclass?" Andrew begged.
Xander grinned. "This is real life, (kinda it is the Hellmouth after all), where you can take any skill from any class you want, but you have to practice all your skills, even the basic ones, or they'll gain negative modifiers and fade away."
"Seems like a fair trade," Andrew decided.
"Can we min/max?" Jonathan asked with a smile.
"Munchkin away," Xander assured him.
"How can I get a fighter's hit points?" Andrew asked eagerly.
"If you want the hit points you have to have the body," Xander replied. "The bonus is you also get the strength, con, and dex bonuses as well."
"That would also give you the AC," Jonathan said.
"Partially," Xander said thoughtfully. "Fighters train in how to take a hit and deflect or avoid one."
"Do you take fighter's hp?" Andrew asked.
"I took Rogue," Xander replied. "I don't have the intel score for fighter, but I know you two do."
"That sentence made no sense," Jonathan said.
"Yeah," Andrew agreed. "I mean, you've seen what the jocks are like."
Xander nodded. "I guess I do have to explain that, it's not exactly obvious." He thought for a minute. "OK, now people develop at different rates. Those that develop their physical stats faster than their peers get pushed into going for physical builds and neglecting their mental stats."
"Yeah," Jonathan said, slowly nodding, "they actually look down on it."
"Those that develop their mental build early get funneled into intelligence dominated activities and are actively discouraged from pursuing physical ones," Xander explained.
"Mostly by those already dominating the training areas for physical builds," Andrew said.
"Exactly," Xander agreed, "but thanks to high intel rolls you can not only come up with ways to maximize the experience gain, but you can also substitute intelligence for will on your con checks."
"I almost get it," Jonathan said thoughtfully, "but I'm still missing some bits."
"OK," Xander agreed. "Every time you run low on stamina you have to make a will save to continue and having mental builds your con is low and hence your stamina is also low, so those checks are frequent to start, but you can make a will check against your intelligence instead if you can come up with intelligent reasons for continuing physically draining activities."
"Give me an example," Jonathan requested.
"I'll give you two," Xander replied. "Continuing the exercise will boost your physical stats, meaning pain now under your control, prevents pain later under someone else's. Every drop of sweat you shed in training prevents a drop of blood from being shed in battle, and that blood is not just yours, it's your friend's too." Xander fell silent for a minute before dropping his head on the table. "Dammit!"
"What?" Jonathan asked. "Those are pretty good reasons."
Andrew started laughing.
"Dammit!" Xander repeated with a sigh.
"He just substituted his intelligence for his wisdom and convinced himself," Andrew explained, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
"If you work out enough, you don't have to worry about anyone pushing you around or publicly humiliating you anymore," Xander said with an evil grin.
Andrew and Jonathan exchanged glances. "Crap!" they chorused.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Still haven't talked to him?" Buffy asked Cordelia at lunch.
"Monday was a half day, he didn't come in to talk to Giles Tuesday or Wednesday," Cordelia said.
"Those are just excuses," Buffy said. "You can go talk to him at any time. Trust me, he'll understand."
Cordelia chewed her lip for a moment then frowned. "You and Willow haven't apologized yet, have you? You just want me to soften him up so he'll go easier on you."
"Not really," Willow said, shaking her head. "It's more we want him in a good mood when we apologize so we won't feel as guilty."
The three girls looked across the cafeteria where Xander was sitting with Jonathan and Andrew. A girl approached them and talked to Xander, pushing a wad of cash into his hand.
"Girls are hiring him during school hours now?!" Willow asked, wide eyed.
Xander peeled off several bills and passed the rest to Jonathan who grabbed a backpack and followed the girl out of the cafeteria.
"No, I think he's pimping out Andrew and Jonathan," Buffy said in shock.
"Cordelia," Willow said, giving the brunette a look that actually made her shrink back. "Talk to him."
"I'll grab him during his free," Cordelia promised.
"OK," Willow said, turning back to her lunch.
"I could see maybe Jonathan working as a Gigolo, but Andrew?" Buffy asked, confused. "If I approached wanting Xander and someone gave me Andrew, I'd be upset."
Blaine from the swim team approached the table and left with Andrew.
"OK, now it makes sense," Buffy said. "Never knew Blaine was gay."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Xander had just passed the Janitor's closet when the door opened and a familiar brunette pulled him inside. "Um Cordelia, we aren't dating anymore," he pointed out.
"Yes we are," Cordelia said firmly, "and Buffy and Willow want to apologize to you."
"Are you guys under a spell?" Xander asked, placing a hand on her shoulder and looking at her intently.
Cordelia almost sighed in relief at the opening he gave her. "No, but I was on Valentine's Day. In fact, the cleaning thing with Miss Calendar is what removed it and then Giles identified it later that day."
Xander searched Cordelia's eyes, but couldn't see even a hint of someone controlling her. She seemed to be completely in control of herself. "Why take so long to tell me?"
"Because I expected you to talk to Giles first as he was supposed to explain things to you," Cordelia said. "At that point I was hoping Buffy and Willow would apologize and then I would tell you."
Xander pinched his arm. "Huh, I'm not dreaming."
"So are we…" Cordelia trailed off, looking vulnerable.
"Cordelia Chase is many things, but a liar isn't one of them," Xander said. "So, if she says we aren't broken up… Well, then we must not be broken up."
Cordelia kissed him hard, before pulling back and saying, "So, no more lurking in back alleys?"
"I believe I can go back to just doing patrols with the gang," Xander assured her.
"Good," Cordelia said. "I was thinking you might like to come to my house and spend some time at the pool."
"I would, but I promised Jonathan and Andrew I would train them to the best of my ability, which means about an hour and a half of physical training followed by another hour of techniques and theory."
Cordelia just stared.
"To make it worse the hour and a half of physical training has been taking us three hours because we are far from the shape of the clan in Japan where the exercises originate," Xander explained.
"I keep forgetting how hard you throw yourself in whatever you decide to do," Cordelia said. "Can you stop by the library and accept Buffy and Willow's apology?"
"Sure," Xander replied. "I'll stop by right after school."
"Good," Cordelia said with a bright smile, relieved that everything was back to normal. After a few seconds of silence she said, "You know, as long as we're here…"
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"So, everything went well?" Buffy asked as they all met up in the school library.
"It went well," Cordelia agreed with a smirk. "We are still dating and he'll be here shortly."
"So he's giving up being a gigolo?" Willow asked.
"Of course," Cordelia said, giving Willow a 'duh' look. "But he did promise to train Jonathan and Andrew which apparently takes about four hours a day right now."
"Four hours?!" Buffy and Willow exclaimed.
"Something like that," Cordelia said. "Most of it is physical exercise of some kind, but since they are just starting out, the ninety minute regiment takes them three hours to complete."
"You'd have to be in good shape to get a good price," Buffy allowed. "I didn't think Xander was out of shape though."
"He says he's been slacking off and can do better," Cordelia said, a smirk on her face as she pictured Xander fresh from a workout, sweat glistening on his skin.
"So the workout regiment is ninety minutes a day and he's too out of shape to complete it under three hours right now?" Willow thought aloud. "That is one heck of a work out. I wonder what it consists of."
"Hey guys, you wanted to see me?" Xander asked, as he entered the school library.
"Yes," Buffy said, stepping forward, relieved to see he was in a good mood, "Me and Willow wanted to apologize for how we were treating you. You were right, we were going overboard, but to be fair part of it was probably backlash from the spell since it was cast to punish you."
"What?" Xander asked.
"What?" Buffy replied as everyone stared at her.
"It was designed to punish Xander?" Willow asked.
"Well, yeah," Buffy said. "I thought that was obvious."
"Not as such, no," Giles said.
"Oh, well the way I see it, Aphrodite or whoever was called on didn't like Xander's motives so she pulled a 'be careful what you wish for' on him, since the spell in no way should have done what it did. Plus the way we all felt afterwards, despite him being a perfect gentleman, for a teenage boy, kinda cemented it. The spell was screwed with to teach you a life lesson type thing," Buffy explained.
Xander looked up. "Message received loud and clear," he told the sky. "OK, double forgiveness for both of you," he told Willow and Buffy.
The girls giggled and Oz looked relieved, happy he didn't have to come up with jokes on the fly anymore.
"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to meet up with the guys for our workout," Xander said.
Willow nudged Oz under the table.
"Room for one more?" Oz asked.
"Do you have two padlocks and forty pounds of steel chain?" Xander asked.
"In the van," Oz agreed, drawing the Scoob's attention.
"Werewolf," he reminded them. "Just in case I get caught out during a full moon."
"What do you do with all that chain?" Buffy asked Xander.
"Wrap it around our limbs and torso before trying to fight the surf," Xander said. "Very tiring, but very effective. Come on, let's get to the beach and get training."
Oz gave Willow a quick peck before leaving with Xander.
Cordelia smirked at Willow. "Want Oz to get buff?"
"No," Willow said, blushing, "I was nudging him to ask about the training, because I'm still a little embarrassed at my behavior."
"Actually I think I may know something about it," Giles offered. "Samurai used to practice their moves in the surf, because once you could perform them properly, in water with the current ever shifting them, your speed and strength in air was simply phenomenal."
"Not to mention stamina," Cordelia said with a grin.
"It makes for a grueling but effective workout as well," Giles noted. "The length seems a bit excessive though."
"That's not what she said," Buffy quipped. "What? Somebody had to say it and Xander's not here."
The girls laughed while Giles retreated to his office and some well deserved peace and quiet. Any snickering on his part was obviously just him clearing his throat.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel