Halo
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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.
Chapter Thirty-One-Luke and Kylo
Water washed over Kylo's skin so strongly that it felt as if he was in the flow of a river rather than a rain shower. An avalanche of inky black hair fell around his face, the wet strands joined the river of raindrops that ran down his pale skin. His breath seemed to stutter in his lungs before he let it go, feeling the tension coil in his stomach like an angry snake as he took in his uncle's shocked expression at his sudden appearance. It was the downpour that awoken him from the soundest slumber he'd had in a long time. His first thought had been for Rey, and when he found her missing, he had immediately gone in search of her. The last thing he had expected to find was Rey fighting Skywalker in defence of him-his initial thoughts and feelings of elation at the magnificent sight of Rey putting all his lessons to good use as she easily overwhelmed his uncle-soon dissipated when he overheard Luke offer to take her on as his apprentice and show her the true path of a Jedi.
"Ben." Luke said gruffly in greeting. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough." Kylo retorted angrily.
Luke cast an uneasy glance behind him at Rey. Her expression was inscrutable. He wondered if this had been a calculated ambush on her side, but he quickly dismissed this idea when he turned around to face his glowering nephew. "You were always good at sneaking up on people." He muttered as he drew himself up to his full height. It didn't make much difference, Kylo still towered over him.
Skywalker was surprised when his nephew didn't respond to his veiled taunt. Instead he found Kylo and Rey engaged in some kind of staring contest. Their eyes were locked tight on each other, almost as if they were involved in some kind of telepathic communication that he was not privy to. Intrigued by what he was witnessing, Luke remained silent as he scrutinised them carefully. He observed Kylo's steady breathing that slowly increased in motion to deeper puffs as his face suddenly flushed. Intrigued by his nephew's odd reaction, Luke turned his attention to Rey. His eyebrows shot up when he noticed her cheeks were as flushed as his nephew's, her expression was troubled. As Skywalker's gaze flitted back to Kylo, he found his nephew had a pleading look in his dark eyes. Rey's own breathing had quickened in response, Luke saw her give Kylo a subtle nod of her head, before she abruptly broke eye contact and left them alone.
The quality of darkness shifted in the sky to almost black, but the rain kept pouring. The harsh rain obliterated the crystal reflection of the sky and turned it into a disorientated chaos. The thick, icy sheets of rain obscured Luke's vision as he faced his nephew. This was a meeting he had hoped to avoid. Han he could handle. But Ben he could not. He wasn't prepared to face his past demons. It was the reason he had exiled himself. By shutting himself off from the Force and the galaxy at large, he had wrongly assumed he would never have to face the consequences of his ultimate failure-Ben Solo.
All through his life Luke had learned to trust his instincts. He did so to destroy the Death Star, and did so again when he faced Vader on Bespin rather than complete his training-the latter had seemed like a mistake in the short term, but It allowed him to realise the truth and ultimately redeem Vader. Luke's insight into the truth of Vader helped return Anakin to the light and defeat the Emperor. His insight had served him well at every major decision. Then there was Ben; his own nephew, except when Luke looked at him through the Force—using his feelings, his insight—he saw only darkness.
Those same instincts he had always relied on were urging him to strike Ben down for the good of the future, in the same way his damaging trip to Bespin was ultimately a good thing, and to ignore the advice of his Jedi Masters and reach out to Vader was a good thing. When he realised his mistake; that his instincts had been clouded, it was all too late and he was filled with remorse. His trusted instincts had led him wrong, and the only way he had been able to cope with the devastating aftermath of that fateful night had been to retreat into exile in a state of emotional crisis.
Now, there was no hiding anymore. He stood with the water running freely down his face and into his already soaked robes, his heart heavy with regret. "Ben." He said huskily. "I never wanted it to turn out this way."
"And you think I did?" Kylo accused. "You tried to kill me!"
Luke swallowed thickly as he was once again confronted by the frightened and confused eyes of a boy whose master had failed him. "I saw the darkness, Ben." His voice shook a little as he spoke. "I sensed it building inside you. I saw it in moments during your training. It troubled me deeply. I made a decision that night to come to your hut and confront you about it." Luke let out a burning ball of air that was searing the wall of his lungs. He knew his explanation was inadequate, but how to explain the emotions he was feeling that night-the stomach-churning anxiety and fear that forced his hand.
"I never expected to find you sleeping." Luke's eyes moistened at the devastating memory. "I used the opportunity to look inside…." He paused, the edges of his lips turning white from the pressure. "I saw it, Ben. And it was beyond anything that I had ever imagined. Snoke had already turned your heart- I saw the all the pain, death, destruction, and the end to every thing that I loved because of what you would become. And for one brief moment of instinct, I thought I could stop it. The feeling passed so quickly and I was left with shame at the thought of what I had contemplated doing. Then you woke up…"
"LIAR!" Kylo yelled into the void. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. Like the wind had been knocked out of him. His uncle's pathetic excuses sounded like lines in well-rehearsed play. "That is the same bullshit excuse you fed my father. He didn't believe it and neither do I."
"It is the truth!" Luke countered defensively.
"Then why bring a weapon?" Kylo demanded. "If you simply came to confront me, then why were you armed? It was the middle of the night. You had to have known I was sleeping. You wouldn't have brought your saber if you hadn't intended to use it."
Luke's complexion turned grey. "That's not true." He whispered, shaking his head in denial.
"You're just too cowardly to admit to yourself that's what you planned all along." Kylo's emotions got the better of him as he unleashed years of pent up fury at his uncle. "I see through your lies. Basic training in weapons etiquette-you do not draw or point or prepare your weapon, unless you intend to use it. You walked all the way to my room, while I was sleeping. You were armed in your own academy at night. You crept into my room without my knowledge. You drew your lightsaber. You ignited it- "
"No, you're twisting everything around." Luke cut in angrily.
"I wish I had known back then what I know now." Kylo sneered. "My uncle-the great Jedi warrior, Luke Skywalker, is nothing but a craven coward. I idolised you, I trusted you. You were my master, my uncle-yet you treated me differently to all the other students. You were on my back all the time, trying to mould me into the shape of your own image of what a perfect Jedi should be, just so I could carry on the cursed Skywalker legacy. I put up with your lectures, your constant criticisms, you shaming me in front of the other students just because I was more powerful than they were. You were harder on me, making an example of me at every opportunity, making me feel isolated and like I didn't fit in. You made me feel like I was a monster and undeserving of being a Jedi."
"Ben…no." Luke's eyes widened in horror at the truth bombs that Kylo kept dropping on him.
"I had you in my face day after day, manipulating me into what you wanted me to be, while at night I suffered Snoke doing the same. I couldn't sleep, I had no room to breathe. You all wanted a piece of me and I was being constantly torn apart. I was desperate to be free of the pain. But I resisted…for all those years…until the night I woke up to find you trying to kill me."
"Ben, please, stop. I know I failed you. I know." Luke pleaded.
"No!" Kylo thundered. "You stop! You, Snoke-everyone I trusted-twisted everything that was good inside me and snuffed it out, until I felt I had no choice but to succumb to the dark."
It was his tears that kept his soul alive in the furnace of his pain. Kylo took in deep shuddering breaths as he felt BB-8 bump against his lower leg. He looked down as the little orange and white droid let out a low whistle, which echoed his own hollow feeling of sadness. Throughout his tormented rant, the faithful little astromech had stayed by his side the whole time. Just like Rey had wanted to. It had taken a lot of persuasion on his part to make her leave so he could confront his uncle on his own. She had put up a heated protest during their telepathic communication, but ultimately had conceded to his wishes after making him promise to come and find her when it was over so they could talk. Kylo had felt isolated and alone his whole life, he had never had anyone in his corner before. Now he had Rey, his father and the little droid, BB-8.
Even though their support couldn't extinguish the pain of his past, he hoped it could carry him forward, until eventually a time came when that searing pain was distant enough to forget more than remember, and maybe one day erase itself from his brain completely. "Come on, BB-8. Let's go." He said wearily to the small droid. He suddenly felt drained of all energy. He just wanted to get back to the Falcon and be with Rey. He was done with Luke Skywalker forever.
Han swore under his breath as he tried to get the comms system to work. He and Chewie had been working on strengthening the signal for hours. Getting any kind of a signal on Ahch-to with its changeable weather systems was extremely difficult. He wanted to check in with Leia and tell her they would be leaving the wretched island without her brother. Han had been determined to drag Luke back with him and force him to admit to his wife's face what he had done to their son, but ultimately, he had failed. There was no way that Skywalker was coming back with them, and Han found he was secretly relieved that was the case. He wasn't sure he could put up with his brother-in-law's company all the way back to the Resistance without doing him some damage.
"Hey, Chewie, you finished the rewiring yet?" Han yelled to his hairy companion.
Chewie let out an irritated roar. "I finished the wiring ages ago. I'm waiting for you to finish boosting the signal." He said in his native dialect, Shyriiwook.
"Sheesh, give me a chance. Damn impatient Wookie." Han grouched as he pressed a few buttons on the console without success.
His grumblings were interrupted by the arrival of Rey. Her shoulder length brunette hair hung in wet tendrils around her face as she climbed clumsily into the cockpit, burdened by a pile of heavy books. "Is it raining?" Han joked. Rey rolled her eyes at his lame joke as she stored the books in her backpack. "Where did you get those old books from, kid? They look like they're falling apart." He asked curiously.
Rey avoided looking at him directly when she answered him. "I just found them lying around."
"Of course, you did." Han knew she was fibbing, but didn't bother to question her further as he finished boosting the signal. "Finally, success!" He crowed. He punched a few more buttons on the console and a holographic image of Leia appeared in front of him. "Hey, sweetheart." He greeted her cheerfully. "We're…"
"Han, listen to me." Leia cut in urgently. It was only now he looked closer that Han could see her eyes were tight, strained. He exchanged a concerned glance with Rey. "Our escape from D'Qar was interrupted by the First Order fleet consisting of several Resurgent-class Star Destroyers and a Dreadnought. We managed to jump to hyperspace, but…" Leia's jaw tightened as if in pain. "One of my officers disobeyed my direct order not to continue with any further attacks on the Dreadnought."
"Dameron." Han guessed; his expression grim.
Leia didn't deny it. "We suffered huge casualties, Han. We're now down to 400 personnel aboard just four ships." She paused again as the enormity of what she faced overwhelmed her.
"But you'll be safe if you reman in hyperspace." Han said gruffly.
"We were losing fuel, Han. We were in such dire straits. Somehow the First Order fleet tracked us through lightspeed."
"That's impossible." Han shook his head in disbelief as he tried to absorb this new flood of information. "Don't worry, sweetheart. We're on our way back. We'll figure something out. You just need to keep ahead of their fleet for as long as you can- "
Leia took a in deep, shuddering breath, moisture gleaming in her warm brown eyes. "Our son, Han." She whispered.
"I know, sweetheart. I know." Han said, his tone softening. "You can make peace with him when we get back."
"No, Han, you don't understand. I had no choice." Leia sobbed. "I needed to buy the Resistance time to get to Crait."
Han's blood ran cold as he stared at the flickering image of his estranged wife. "What have you done, Leia? What the hell have you done?"
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.