Anakin continued to check in. Each day on his way to meet Obi Wan, he dropped into the meditation room in the temple. Statues and dimmed candles were lined down the center aisle of the stone room, the only sound his own footsteps. He continued to check, and each day Akira was still kneeling in the furthest corner, his head resting against the wall. He didn't leave his spot in the meditation room for three days. He didn't blink, he didn't eat… He sat, silent. This wasn't entirely odd for him, since his master had died, he'd taken long bouts of silence, meditation sessions as long as a week. He poured himself into the force, wouldn't allow himself to rise until his thoughts and emotions were sorted.

Anakin knew why he was there, however, and knelt beside him.

"You can't avoid him forever." He murmured.

Akira didn't move, "who?"

Anakin smirked, "Don't play with me. You didn't think that running away and vanishing would make him panic? Make him come to me?"

Akira shifted. "That wasn't my intention. I didn't want to approach him without knowing what I wanted to say."

Anakin sat back on his heels. "You know what you're going to say. You don't want to say it, you don't want to face him. So you're hiding in the only place in the galaxy he's not allowed to enter."

Akira's eyes opened, his lashes still resting on his cheeks. "I wish none of this happened. That I had stayed a guard."

Anakin sighed, "I know you feel responsible for Lyra's death-"

"I am responsible for Lyra's death." Akira corrected. "I killed her." Akira looked over at him, his eyes bloodshot. "I can't get her face out of her mind, her expression when she realized she was about to die, and at my hand. The faces of all the jedi judging me as I walk through the halls, their whispers, claiming I did it on purpose, or that I'm incompetent. Taking that mask off and leaving the guard… Its been weighing on me. I don't feel like I'm in the place to say anything to anyone."

Anakin frowned, channeling his inner Obi Wan, "Akira people are going to die, you can't avoid everyone because you're afraid. You left the guard because you wanted purpose, relationships. So do it. Stop hiding from the world."

"Anakin-"

"No. No more. I lost my mother, and you think I don't feel responsible? Because I wasn't there to protect her? Of course I do. But she wouldn't want me to feel that way, so I try to do her proud, and do better with each passing day. Lyra didn't die for you to slowly die alongside her. Fight for her."

Akira bobbed his head. His reddened eyes shone with a glimmer of hope. "She'd be fairly cross with me if she saw me." He said with the hint of a question.

"Of course she would. Now go live your life, people's opinions be damned."

Akira smiled, knowing the meaning behind the married Jedi's words. "You're right. Thank you, Anakin."

Anakin watched him walk from the temple, "Anytime." He breathed, his own thoughts returning to Padme, and his chest filled with dread heavy enough to pin him to the floor. No. He wouldn't be fearful. He would simply find a way to prevent his fate from becoming Akira's.

Rex meandered through the hallway, passed the mess hall and out into the common area. It was colder than Rex would like, the wind whipping and getting to his skin beneath his armor. He'd be getting on a starship the following day, and he never did hear Akira's name in the briefing. He could wrap his head around rejection, but this way… he was tormenting himself. What if he hated him? He could be reporting him at that moment, setting him up to be terminated or reconditioned. Or court martialed… It'd go public, and his men would lose respect for him, and for what? A crush on a jedi?

He sighed, nodding his head at a passing trooper. He followed the path around clearing and sat on the bench at the edge of the gardens. He'd gone to Akira's apartment twice- He wouldn't answer the door. He'd asked around, but no one had seen him. He'd fallen off the face of the planet, and Rex would never get his closure. He chuckled darkly. Just his luck.

He heard footsteps, and in his peripheral vision saw the ivory of Akira's robes, his brown boots thudding against the cobblestone. Rex's heart began to pound, but didn't turn to look at him.

"Hello."

Rex didn't look up or remove his helmet.

"It took me quite a while to find you, considering you've been looking for me."

Rex didn't move. "I needed to speak with you, and you never came around, sir." His knees began to bounce involuntarily, and he quickly stilled himself, his heart taking up the quickened rhythm in their place.

Akira sighed, "I'm sorry. I needed some time to myself, but I was selfish about it. It wasn't my intention to torment you."

Rex shook his head. "You don't need to apologize to me, sir. Its none of my business."

"Rex, please. Stop with the formalities." Akira's tone was gravel on pavement, rough and painful.

Rex started, looking over at Akira his eyes were red, surrounded by dark circles. "I'm sorry."

Akira sat beside him with a huff, and Rex cleared his throat, "I'm sorry about what I did. It was extraordinarily inappropriate, and I crossed far too many boundaries. I was drunk, and I'm very sorry." He said, his heart pounding.

"Talk me through that," Akira asked, and pulled off Rex's helmet. Rex felt exposed, his expressions were always far more animated than he wanted, giving away every reaction before even he knew it. He looked down at his feet. "All I can sense from you is fear. Shame. What is it that you won't tell me? Why are you so afraid?"

"I'm not afraid," Rex said quietly, the gravity of his lie coloring his cheeks.

"Rex, for once, trust me," Akira pressed, turning toward him. "Talk to me!"

"Akira, I kissed you because… because... I think I'm falling in love with you!" Rex blurted, his eyes wide.

Akira's mouth fell open. "You- you're falling in love… with me?" Rex stared, his chest heaving. "I had no idea- how?"

Rex stood, shaking his head. "I never should have said that."

"Rex I- I had no idea," Akira said again, grabbing his wrist. Rex could feel the warmth of his grasp from beneath his armor.

"I don't expect anything, sir, I'm a clone, expendable, I get that, sir, my behavior is inappropriate for someone of my status."

"Why didn't you tell me? Talk to me? You're not disposable, don't be absurd," he spat. "No one thinks that of you."

"The kaminoans, the republic. We were made to die."

"I can't speak for them, but the jedi do not think that way and you know it. You are valuable, Rex. An individual."

Rex angrily wiped tears from his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Akira asked quietly.

Rex shook his head, "I've broken your trust."

"No," Akira said, Pulling Rex gently back onto the bench. "If anything, I feel like I can trust you more, now that you're not hiding this from me." He smiled, but it faded. "I was hiding from you because I didn't how how I felt about that."

"What do you mean?"

"I liked it, Rex. I wanted you to kiss me that night. I just didn't expect it to actually happen."

Rex blushed, looking up.

"Me?"

Akira laughed, "yes you. Rex, I just- I'm conflicted. It's a side of my life that I never really gave the time of day. Casual hookups, yes, but I never let my mind go beyond that. Where I've spent so much time with you- its different. I have feelings for you."

Rex bobbed his head, unable to hide the grin that bubbled up from within. Akira laughed, reddening, and Rex smiled even wider. He blushed! For him!

"Why don't we head back to my quarters where we can speak openly."

Rex bobbed his head, and followed him to his office. Akira sat on the couch, Rex in the chair beside him.

"I just wanted to be able to talk to you without worrying about being overheard. I sensed a great relief in you and I don't want to take that from you by not being genuine."

Rex watched Akira's hands wring nervously. "Rex, I don't want you to ever think that I would do anything to hurt you. You can tell me anything."

"I just- its against protocol."

"That doesn't matter to me. Even if I didn't have feelings for you, I'd want the best for you. I don't care about protocol, I care about you."

"Where I'm a clone… one of thousands just like me… its hard to think that I could stand out to you…"

"None of you are the same to me. Even visually, the more time passes, the more you all grow apart. You're an individual, an incredible individual."

Rex smiled, "thank you."

Akira sighed, "When I was meditating, I was weighing options, thinking of approaches to this… and I have a proposal."

Rex sat up, his heart pounding.

"We're at war. Either one of us could die at any moment, and any kind of public affection would get us both, but especially you, in trouble. So why don't we just go where the tide takes us, not label anything or have any expectations until this whole mess is over, hmm?"

Rex smiled. He never fathomed the idea of being able to be himself behind closed doors. He didn't think he knew how to be truly Rex in the presence of another. "I like that."

Akira grinned, "good. So, I want you to feel like this space is your space, even when I'm not here."

"Thank you," Rex said, and pulled off his chest plate digging into his shoulder. He wasn't used to sitting on something soft, and neither was his armor. "So, about that woman-"

Akira's head cocked, "Motie? You saw that?"

Rex nodded, looking toward the door.

"Motie, Motie is just a friend. You see, the guard is very different from the rest of the order. We're very isolated, and have only each other. So we end up being everything for each other. Friend, brother, sparring partner-"

"Lover."

Akira frowned, and Rex flushed. "There's nothing between us at all. I sought comfort in her company. I was lonely, afraid. I'll not be seeing her again except as a friend."

"When I saw her with you I didn't think you would go for me, being a man." Rex explained.

"There was another, Knoxly, who I was very close with as well. He is a good friend, but I promise you my visitations to the guard will be strictly casual."

"You don't owe me-"

"I want to. I no longer have need for empty physical relationships."

Rex couldn't stop smiling, couldn't stop the joy that had bubbled up in his core. He'd been so ready for the worst, so ready for rejection, that this surprise was almost too much for him. It was the most personal any conversation had ever been in his life, and he felt like a safe unlocked for the first time in years.

They talked until late into the night, long after lights had been turned out in the barracks. About anything and everything but the war. It wasn't until Akira rose to use the fresher that either one of them noticed the time.

"Oh, I have to go." Rex mused, pulling on his armor.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Akira suggested.

Rex's eyes widened.

"I have no motive; I mean sleep here. You won't wake Cody and no one will be suspicious."

Rex considered. Trust me. "Alright."

Akira smiled and led him into his bedroom, flicking on the light. He bed was meant for one, but was still larger than his bunk, where men sometimes still slept in pairs. Akira pulled open a drawer and placed a pair of pajamas on the bureau. "The fresher is through there, you can throw your blacks in the washer if you'd like, they'll be dry for you in the morning." he pointed, and Rex took the pajamas, heading toward it. He shut the door and stripped out of his armor and blacks, pulling on Akira's soft pajamas. They were plain, but it'd been a long time Rex had slept in anything meant for sleeping. He did as Akira suggested and tossed his blacks in the small washer behind the closet door, and exited into the bedroom. Akira was already in his pajamas, pulling down the dark red covers. Akira climbed in, and Rex walked around the other side, feeling self-conscious.

Akira smiled encouragingly, pulling down the blanket on his side. Rex climbed in, the bed far softer than his bunk. The chill of the covers faded in the presence of Akira's body heat, not too far from his own, and Akira switched off the light.

"Goodnight, Rex."

"Goodnight, Akira."

Rex woke with a gasp, shooting up. He turned, the dim light of the city barely illuminating the room.

"Rex." Akira said calmly, but Rex was still on high alert. His mind was lagging, unsure of how he'd gotten there. Was he in danger? He wasn't sure, his brothers' dead faces in his mind, blaster fire in his ears.

"Cody!" He called, and Akira touched his shoulder.

"Rex its me, Akira. You're in my room, you stayed the night. You're safe, Cody is safe."

Rex recognized the room, and his vision cleared enough to make out Akira's worried expression.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Its ok. I have them, too." Akira murmured, a sadness finding his eyes.

Rex looked down at the bed, slowly lying back onto the soft pillow. Akira's hand touched his shoulder, and Rex rolled over to look at him. Akira pulled him into his arms cautiously with silent question, but Rex didn't protest. Akira embraced him, holding Rex firmly against him. He rubbed his back, Rex's face pressed into Akira's neck.

A wash of comfort overcame Rex, his lips parting in awe. He leaned into Akira, wrapping his own arms around him. He was so warm, felt so good in his arms. Akira's hand found the back of his head, caressing his neck. Rex was still shaking, and Akira held him close, his warm breath at his neck.

Rex had never felt so comfortable in his life. He'd done something similar with Cody a few times, one of them was hysterical about something and the other would crawl into the bunk and hold them while they cried, but this was soft, loving, gentle.

"Akira." Rex murmured, grasping his shirt. He'd never felt anything like it before.

"I'm right here, its ok."

Rex nuzzled into his neck, breathing in the smell of Akira's musky aftershave.

They woke the next morning to the sun streaming in. Rex could feel Akira rubbing lazy circles over his back. He opened his eyes, and Akira had Rex cradled to his chest in one arm, and a book in the other.

Akira sensed he was awake and looked down. "Morning."

"Morning," Rex said, resting his head on Akira's chest. "Sorry for waking you."

"Don't apologize. I'll wake you one day I'm sure."

"What time is it?"

"Dunno."

Rex sat up, his eyes wide. It was after eight. "I'm late."

"Late for what?"

He jumped out of the bed, running into the bathroom. He pulled his blacks from the wash/dry unit and pulled on his armor.

Akira stood, scratching his head. "Aren't you on leave?"

"Negative, Sir- I mean, no. The squad is on leave, I am not."

"When do you get leave?" Akira asked with a yawn.

"I generally don't."

Akira frowned. "You are getting leave. Today."

"You can talk to Anakin about that."

"I will."

Rex hurried from the apartment and down the corridor to the meeting room. Cody looked up as he entered, a worried expression on his face.

"Where have you been?" He asked as the meeting began.

"I'll explain later."

Thanks for reading! Please review. Here's where the real story begins ;)