Halo
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A/N-thank you very much for the kind reviews on this story!
Chapter Forty-Anoat
Cracked and dry with age, Rey carefully arrayed the sacred Jedi texts in front of her. They were a collection of eight bound books and scrolls dating back to the dawn of the Jedi order. She had scavenged them from the ancient uneti tree near the first Jedi temple on Ahch-to. Han was the only one who knew she had sneaked them on board the Falcon. Rey had been meaning to confess to Ben that she had taken them, but so much had happened in-between, that it had slipped her mind. It was only now that they were on their way to rendezvous with the Resistance that she had thought about them.
It was with great reluctance that Han decided to contact Leia now that the comm's system was fixed. He didn't do it right away, instead taking a couple of weeks to mull over his decision as he confided his reservations to Chewie in secret. Ben was still in the midst of recovering from his traumatic ordeal on The Supremacy. His physical injuries were beginning to heal, but the psychological impact was still making itself felt. Rey had been right when she predicted the emotional fallout would occur once Ben had time to reflect on what happened.
The hours when he was awake weren't so bad, with Rey keeping him company, he began to open to her what he had endured during Snoke's machinations. It was when he tried to sleep that it really took its toll. Like a horror movie it played again in his mind as if somehow his brain was unwilling to let the images go and, in its attempt, to analyse them it made him relive it all over again. His nightmares would spill over to Rey through their bond so he wasn't the only one waking up in a cold sweat and gasping for air. Feeling full of remorse that he was projecting all his anguish onto her, Ben tried to suppress everything, but the more he tried to keep it all locked inside, the more it would play all over again and he was sinking back into darkness.
It got so bad that Han, Chewie, and even little BB-8 took it in turns to stay with Ben during his vain attempts to sleep to give Rey some relief from the constant onslaught of Ben's nightmarish memories. The three of them developed a system-when Ben showed signs of distress-they gently roused him to nip the nightmare in the bud before it had a chance to grow roots. He would awaken, his eyes glazed over with the remnants of his dream. He would stare drowsily for a few seconds until his eyelids drooped and he would fall back under from sheer exhaustion. After this he would usually manage a few hours of proper sleep before the cycle started again.
All of this was a stark reminder to Han of Ben's early years. He remembered how often he had stayed up with his young son when Ben was plagued by troubling dreams that would cause him to wake up screaming. Han had put it down to the obligatory monster under the bed syndrome, certain that his son would grow out of it. It was only now he knew the monster had been very real. He became angry at his past self for being so blasé and blind to what was going on right under his nose back then. It then led Han to wonder just how much credence Leia had given to Ben's continuing insomnia. She was Force sensitive herself-had even trained under Luke for a while-until she had abruptly stopped training with no explanation, only citing that she didn't see her future path as a Jedi.
Han was beginning to suspect that she had known more than she let on about what was happening to their boy, thinking back, he reflected it was around then her attitude toward Ben began to change. Where once she showered Ben with open affection, she seemed to pull back, becoming wary, more closed off around him. It was like she was almost afraid to show him too much love in case it spoiled him or something. She also began to spend more and more time away from home as she immersed herself in her political career. It was also around that time they began to argue more frequently. As she became more withdrawn, Ben's emotional outbursts began to increase in a clear effort to gain her attention. Unfortunately, his efforts had the opposite effect. Leia seemed to become almost afraid of him, already knowing he wasn't going to live up to her high expectations. Han continued to wonder how often she had confided to Luke and not to him about her growing concerns regarding Ben. By the time she had decided to send Ben away to train under her brother they had begun to lead increasingly separate lives.
It was all this soul searching that had pushed Han into contacting the Resistance. He needed answers to his questions. He couldn't spend the rest of his life wondering anymore.
Unaware of his own heart beating or the rise and fall of his chest, Ben drifted into semi-consciousness. "Rey?" He jerked awake, his hand groping for hers.
"I'm right here." Rey promised him as she grasped his hand in her own. She was sitting curled up on a chair next to his cot, one of the Jedi texts lying open on her lap.
Ben could feel the fear in his chest waiting to take over but the sound of her soothing voice made his face relax. "How long was I out this time?"
"Four hours." Rey replied promptly as she carefully closed the fragile tome on her lap.
Ben raised his head slightly to look at what she was reading. "What's that?" He asked curiously.
Rey could feel the heat growing in her cheeks. By now she knew they must be beyond an attractive rosiness. "I was going to tell you…" She began hesitantly.
"Tell me what?"
"I borrowed the Jedi texts." Rey confessed as her blush spread further over her hot cheeks.
Ben suppressed a smile. He could tell from her blush that she was trying to make excuses to herself why she had really taken them. "You scavenged them."
Rey glared at him. "As it turns out, after what happened on Ahch-to, I saved them."
"You're good at saving things." Ben squeezed her hand gently. "You saved me."
"And you've returned the favour plenty of times. You could say we saved each other." Rey countered with a small smile. "Hungry?" She asked rhetorically. She put the book away and reached for the food she had hoarded in her backpack. She handed him a piece of warm bread with a slab of melting butter and a thick, hearty slice of meat. Rey felt no need for pretentious manners and grabbed another piece of bread, ripping a chunk off with her teeth and chewing noisily. "Eat up." She encouraged him with her mouth full.
Even though he was starving, Ben was much more restrained. After growing up in a household where impeccable manners were insisted upon at the dinner table because of the constant stream of visiting dignitaries-an unwanted side effect of his mother's political career-he was constantly fascinated by the way Rey crammed everything she ate in thick and fast, consuming it in a matter of minutes.
"Water?" She offered.
"Thanks." Ben took the flask from her and slowly drank some of the cold liquid.
Han chose that moment to intrude. He broke out into a lopsided grin when he found his son sitting up and eating and drinking. "You look better."
"I'm getting there." Ben conceded as he passed the flask of water back to Rey. "What did I miss while I was out of it?" Han and Rey exchanged a worried glance which did not go unnoticed by him. "You've managed to get in contact with the Resistance." He guessed; his tone flat.
"I told you I was going to. We need answers, Ben." Han sighed. "I'm not expecting you to come. I'm going to meet your mother alone. The others will stay with you on the Falcon."
Ben raked his fingers through the inky black strands of his hair. Who was he to deny his father this? The two of them exchanged a long look of understanding. "Just be prepared you might not like what you hear." He warned Han.
"Yeah." Han muttered. He turned his attention to Rey. "Look after him, kid. Make sure he doesn't get into any trouble."
"As if I could stop him?" Rey joked to lighten the atmosphere.
"True." Han agreed.
"I am here you know." Ben reminded them testily. "Where have the Resistance been hiding all this time anyway?"
Han frowned. "They've made a temporary camp on Anoat."
Ben's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "That hellhole?"
Once a sprawling city-world, Anoat served as the capital of the entire Anoat sector. However, years before the Battle of Yavin, the entire planet was gassed by the Galactic Empire, and the atmosphere became toxic and poisonous, forcing much of the population to flee from the polluted world. Some people, however, did not leave the planet. During the Galactic Civil War, the planet was under the control of the Galactic Empire and contained the sector's largest concentration of Imperial forces.
Over the years the atmosphere had cleared and small pockets of civilisation had sprung up again. Still, Anoat's reputation preceded it. The toxic planet was the last place the First Order would expect the Resistance to hide as there wasn't much there, which made it the perfect place to set up a temporary base while they scouted for something more permanent.
"Hell is right." Han agreed. "I better get going." He continued reluctantly. "See you soon."
"Dad." Ben said as his father was about to leave, but as Han turned to face him, he was suddenly at a loss for words. "I…." He stared at his father, his chin quivering slightly with suppressed emotion.
Han's mouth pulled up into an understanding smile. "I know, son." He said huskily. "I know."
Han wasn't really going alone. For some reason the little astromech, BB-8, had been constantly pestering him, insisting that he wanted to come along. Han had only agreed to shut the little droid up. As he entered the underground bunker leading to the temporary camp, the first person he was greeted by was Poe Dameron. As soon as the Resistance pilot saw BB-8, his face broke out into a wide grin and he was soon on his knees, hugging the little droid like an old friend. "I've missed you, buddy."
Han waited impatiently for Dameron to compose himself before insisting on being taken straight to Leia. Poe frowned, irked by Han's sharp tone. "She asked me to come and meet you."
"I thought she would have been here to greet me herself." Han answered dryly.
"She got caught up in a meeting. So, she sent me instead." Poe responded curtly as he put his hands on his hips. "You seem to have a problem with me."
Han shrugged indifferently. "Not really. You're just one more in a long line of hot shot pilots I've met throughout my life."
"Hot shot pilot!" Poe scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're the type of guy whose huge ego makes him think he's invincible and gets innocent people killed in the process."
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Poe snapped, beginning to get irate at Han's insulting assessment of him. "You know nothing about me!"
"I think your recent actions speak for themselves." Han threw back at him. He knew his words had found their target when he saw Poe's face pale. Han huffed out an impatient sigh. He hadn't come all this way to trade barbs with his son's replacement. "We're wasting time here. Can you take me to Leia or not?"
"This way." Poe said in a deflated tone as he motioned for Han to follow him.
The meeting had just ended when Poe led Han onto the primary command bridge of the Raddus which was located at the bow of the ship where Leia was waiting for him. Han didn't know what he was expecting when he set his eyes on his estranged wife for the first time since D'Qar, but on first appearance she seemed unchanged. She regarded him with the same warm brown eyes he had fallen in love with, but there was a frailness about her that hadn't been there before. Luke's death had hit her hard.
"Leave us, Poe." Leia said quietly when Dameron hovered as if unwilling to leave.
"You sure?" Poe checked.
"I'm sure." Leia gave Dameron a reassuring smile that made Han scowl.
"Okay." Poe finally agreed. "Come on, buddy." He ordered BB-8, automatically expecting the little droid to follow. He frowned when BB-8 didn't budge. "I said come on."
BB-8 let out a low whistle of refusal. "I'm staying here." He beeped in his binary language.
Poe was about to protest when Leia intervened. "Let him stay."
"We'll be having words later, buddy." Poe warned BB-8 before finally taking his leave.
As soon as they were alone Leia's charade dropped. Her eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; Han's heart sank.
As her lower lip quivered words slowly made their way out of her mouth. "We lost Luke, Han." She began, yet what followed was engulfed in the tremors.
Han found he had no urge to comfort her. If that what she was expecting she was sorely mistaken. He had come all this way and the first words out of her mouth were about her damn brother. "You can't expect me to mourn the man who tried to kill our son. Do you even want to know about Ben?" He demanded.
Leia's gaze snapped to his and she flinched. She stood as still as a statue as her eyes brimmed once more. For a horrifying moment Han didn't think she was going to respond, but she proved him wrong. "Don't attack me, Han. Of course, I want to know."
"I hope so, sweetheart." Han continued roughly. "Because I have questions. A lot of them. You better sit down."
A/N-thanks for reading. Please review.