**This chapter has mild-moderately graphic description of violence and sexual content**

Rex watched the rise and fall of Akira's chest, the holopad in his hand nearing the end of his latest novel. There was a comedy on the holonet, projecting onto the wall. But Rex was focused on the man beside him, his beating heart just below his ear. He traced a circle on his chest, a thrill rushing up his spine. It still felt very unreal, him being a jedi and all. But he was here, and Akira's hand found his back, rubbing gently.

"How are you feeling?" Akira asked softly.

Rex closed his eyes. Echo's death was still at the forefront of his mind. "I've been better."

"As you know, it takes time. Its good Anakin gave you a few days."

Rex's fingers wrapped around his shirt. "So many, just left there."

Akira cleared his throat, turning off the holopad. "I know. And they didn't deserve to be. It's disheartening that so many go out on missions and to battles and are left there. But the odds are the same for you to meet that fate, or even Anakin or the other Jedi. Their deaths aren't your fault. It's the nature of war."

"I'm their commanding officer," Rex pressed.

"But this wasn't your mission. You were a regular soldier the same as Fives, Echo, and Cody. This was the Jedis' mission, they called all the shots."

Rex sighed. "Cody's group... they got it far worse from what I heard."

"As did I from Obi Wan. He's pretty shaken himself. I imagine Cody is too?"

Rex shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah. He's spent the last few nights in the barracks with his men. He's avoiding me."

Akira pursed his lips, "he's avoiding you because he knows he can't pretend with you. I can leave you two alone for the weekend if you'd like. Here, even, if you'd like the privacy. I won't be offended."

Rex shook his head. He hadn't told Cody anything about him and Akira yet. "I'm gonna go see him tonight, try to talk to him, I guess."

Akira nodded, setting his holopad down on his side table. "Those men saved a lot of people, protecting those coordinates. I think they'd be happy knowing that their deaths weren't in vain, that they achieved what they set out to. I definitely know Echo would be pleased that you and Fives are alright, and wouldn't blame anyone for what happened."

Rex nodded, and Akira smiled sadly. "why don't we go make some pancakes?"

Rex shrugged, "I've never had them."

Akira sat up, shoving the blankets off him.

"Oh, come, then. We're not doing another thing until we eat pancakes."

Rex smiled, following him into the kitchenette.

Rex spent the afternoon with Akira, talking more about the battle and the outcomes. After having a quick dinner he packed up his few possessions and head down to the officers' barracks. It felt like centuries since he'd been inside, nights spent either on the ground on missions or in Akira's arms when he returned. When he opened the door, however, it greeted him the same way it always had. His small bed was neatly made, and Cody was lying in his up top, a book in his hand.

"Hey." Rex greeted, scratching the back of his neck.

"Hey."

Cody didn't look up, instead focusing his gaze on the wall.

Rex took his armor off, tossing it onto his bunk.

"How you doing? I've been looking for you the last few nights, Obi Wan told me you've been sleeping in the barracks."

Cody didn't look over. "I'm Fine."

Rex tilted his head. "Cod'ika-"

"Rex, please," Cody hissed.

"Obi Wan told me about what happened at the Citadel. To your men."

Cody didn't respond.

"Codes… it's not your fault."

He sighed, shutting the book. "Of course it's my fault. You weren't there, Rex, you didn't see what I led them into. You didn't see the decisions I made. What I didn't do."

"You were doing what Obi Wan and Piell told you to. They don't blame you."

"Will got chopped in half, Rex."

Rex flinched at the image, the rage in Cody's voice.

"I was trying to pull him up. I watched the realization that he wasn't getting saved dawn on him just before the vent slammed shut. You didn't see his face as he died there in my arms. Reggie, Reggie got volunteered by Piell and got shot point blank in the face, his hands tied in front of him. We escaped immediately after that, Rex. He died for nothing. And where are they now? Lying dead in a ditch somewhere, rotting. Their short lives were taken from them needlessly. In absurd, lackluster circumstances. Its like, its like Umbara..." Cody said, his voice breaking. He put his head in his hands, quivering.

"I agree. I entirely agree, Codes. But that is not on your hands. You very easily could have been either of them, and if they were here they'd be telling you that same thing. They loved you, they trusted you. Grieve for them, but there's no need to be tormenting yourself over this. At the end of the day, you're a victim of this war as much as they are."

A small, choked sob escaped Cody, and Rex climbed up onto his bunk. He pulled him into his arms, his chin resting on the back of his head.

"The fear, Rex. I felt it." He whispered.

Rex closed his eyes. He'd seen that fear, but to them this mission was different. It felt personal. Being shot point blank before your brothers, holding someone helplessly in your arms as their life is brutally torn from them... these were things that Rex was relieved he had missed. This mission was a personal attack on them, because the Jedi were saving one of there own, they cared far less about the men they had led to their deaths. He held Cody closer, empathy for his closest brother bringing tears to his own eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Cod'ika," he whispered.

"I just... what if that had been you?" Cody breathed.

Rex had the same worries, sometimes picturing being unable to save Cody. They'd gone through hell together, hell the others simply didn't understand. They were two of the same, twin flames burning together.

Rex wasn't sure how long they sat like that, not until Cody fell asleep on him. Rex let him, getting comfortable on his bunk. He couldn't sleep, not with the Citadel fresh in his mind again. The night always felt like a strange, fresh torture for him. Everyone was asleep, the entirety of the previous day settled away. All the hustle and bustle and distracting work was tucked into the darkness until he following morning. There was nothing to do, to busy himself with. All he could do was wait. Wait… and think.

Akira had a strange way of comforting him, of making everything seem like a far off dream. His own room felt like a prison now. A metal bunk and a 'fresher so small he hit his elbows on the shower walls.

Rex must have fallen asleep at some point in the night, because he woke to Cody's alarm blaring in his face. He groaned, his neck stiff. His head was pounding, his skull felt like it was expanding with every breath. Cody came out of the 'fresher, straight out of the shower. His towel hung around his hips, his scarred chest dripping.

"You alright?"

Rex nodded, sitting up.

Cody tossed the towel on the chair, pulling his underwear and grays on. "I'm sorry about last night," he murmured.

"Don't be. It was needed. For both of us."

Cody half smiled. "What are your plans for leave?"

Rex smirked, "I'm spending it with Akira."

Cody's eyebrow rose. "Oh?"

"I talked to him, like you said. We're just… seeing how it goes."

Cody put his hand on his hip. "Rex, that could get you reconditioned."

Rex swallowed, "I know, but, he wouldn't let that happen." He said, knowing how naive the words sounded as they left his lips.

"You think Akira would give up his life as a jedi to save yours? You, a clone among a million, living half a human life?"

Rex looked at the floor, and Cody put his hand on his knee. "I'm not saying you're wrong, or that you don't matter… I just, I need you to think. I know you like him but… be careful."

Rex nodded, "I am. Thanks."

He hopped down, saying his goodbyes and rushing back over to the temple. His mind kept running through the possibilities, the chances that Akira would let him get reconditioned, or even terminated. His life was short, yes, but was he willing to throw it away for Akira?

When he arrived in the courtyard Akira was in the garden, a smile on his lips.

"I was getting worried about you."

Rex shrugged, "Cody fell asleep on me, I couldn't wake him."

"I understand. I hope he's alright now?"

"Yes," Rex said, distracted by Cody's words in his head. He could pay for this relationship with his life if Akira decided so. It was all in his hands.

"Would you like to make lunch with me? We can consume our accomplishments after over some wine?"

"Sure," Rex smiled, and followed Akira back to his apartment, his heart pounding.

They made an interesting pasta dish together, Akira patiently teaching Rex how to tell when the food was finished. Rex asked questions, hoping to one day be able to cook a few meals on his own. Very few of the men knew more than how to kill an animal and roast it over a fire in an emergency. Survival food and meals were two very different things, and Rex had to admit as much as he loved roasted rat, he far preferred meals that had a bit more seasoning.

Rex plated their meal, and Akira pulled a bottle from the fridge.

"What is it?" Akira asked.

Rex flinched and shook his head. "Nothing. Tired."

Akira pursed his lips. "You're a terrible liar."

Rex flushed, bringing the plates over to the table. "Cody's just worried about me, said some stuff."

"What'd he say?"

Rex shrugged. "He's worried we'll get caught."

Akira looked at his feet. "He's worried you'll pay for this with your life."

Rex nodded.

"Rex, if we get caught, I'm going to make sure you're ok. Even if we get in a horrible argument and we break up, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You have my word. You're taking a risk for me, and if my word isn't enough, I understand."

Rex looked away. "I'd just, I'd be terminated, Akira. Everything I've worked toward would be in vain."

"Then let's call it friendship, then. That's alright with me." Akira said quietly.

Rex shook his head. "No, no. I don't want that. I- I like this." He said, blushing at his lack of eloquence.

Akira smiled, "I do, too. Look, Rex, from the beginning I've known that if we get caught I'dl tell them it was entirely my fault, that I coerced you. If that's not enough we'll leave."

"Leave?" Rex's eyes widened.

Akira nodded. "I'm not going to let them hurt you for something as absurd as a relationship. Not on my account."

"The order-"

"I don't need the order to be a Jedi. The force is the force regardless of where I am."

Rex smiled. Leave the order? For him?

"Akira that's-"

"Rex, could you live with yourself if i was killed for seeing you? Rather, if anyone was killed on your account?"

He thought of Echo, of Cody's men. No. Absolutely not. He couldn't live with himself. He shook his head.

"I could never stand by and watch them hurt anyone, nevermind if it was my doing. But you, Rex. Its not possible for me to see you get hurt for me."

Rex rested his head on Akira's shoulder cautiously.

Akira squeezed his shoulder. "That night- was that your first kiss?"

Rex reddened. "Yes." He admitted.

Akira remained silent. "So, you've never been with anyone romantically before me."

"No one."

Akira shifted, his blue eyes dilated.

Akira looked up. "Would you like a real, non drunk kiss?"

Rex stiffened, his mouth going dry.

"If you don't want to, that's fine."

"I do want to," he croaked, and Akira leaned in slowly. His lips brushed Rex's, as gentle and tender as Rex could imagine. He felt his face heat up, almost more than he could bare, gripping the pillow. He couldn't contain his excitement, his nervousness. This was happening! Akira backed away, his dark eyes wanting.

"Was that ok?"

Rex nodded, unable to speak, and Akira kissed him again, this time pressing a little further, his hands on the sides of Rex's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. Akira tilted Rex's head, kissing his way down his neck. Rex pawed uselessly at Akira's sides, unsure of what to do. Akira kissed his way back to Rex's mouth, opening his eyes.

"You want me to stop?"

Rex shook his head, "I just- I don't know what to do… I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Does it feel good?"

Rex nodded, and Akira smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Does it when... I do this?" He asked, kissing his neck, nipping softly at his skin.

"Mhm." Rex growled, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"How about this?" He asked, kissing his way up to Rex's ear, nipping it with his teeth. Rex groaned, and Akira pulled Rex's arms around his midsection.

"I want to feel your hands on me." Akira murmured and Rex ran his hands over Akira's chest, his abs hard beneath his shaking fingers.

"Tell me when to stop, Rex," Akira whispered, pulling his shirt over his head. Rex felt exposed, but Akira's hands moved expertly over his skin, his lips trailing his chest.

He must have sensed Rex's uneasiness, and returned to his lips. He guided Rex's hands to the back of his head, returning to his collar bone, and then his pecs. Rex's hands grasped Akira's hair, his head back. Everything he did, every breath that ghosted over his skin made his heart pound, his vision go starry. Being raised as a disposable killing machine, he didn't know this was something he was capable of. This passionate, gentle pleasure that made his ears ring. Love.

Akira took his pants in his hands, and Rex crash landed, grabbing Akira's wrists. "Please, no. I'm not… im not ready."

Akira smiled, pulling Rex into his arms. "Of course, Rex. I got carried away, I'm sorry."

Rex nuzzled up against him. "I can never make you feel that way."

"You just did. Rex you're… incredible."

Rex blushed and leaned into Akira's embrace. He was so inexperienced. So childish compared to Akira. Akira rubbed his back, kissing his cheek.

"I'm sorry I don't know-"

"Stop apologizing, Rex." Akira said, pulling away. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I've been around you for a long time. I came into this knowing your experience would be little to none. That's not my objective. My objective is being with you, enjoying you, and having you enjoy me."

Rex bobbed his head and Akira stood, stretching.

"Let's eat, I'm starving."

Rex let himself smile, relishing in the invisible imprints Akira left on his body. He hadn't realized how much he was missing, how much he needed that. It was no wonder relationships were forbidden to the clones. Affection was taboo, and he could see why. They were far more powerful than Rex could have imagined.

Thanks so much for reading! Please Review. Next time: Cody confronts Akira