Akira sat between Rex and Jesse, a drink in his hand. It wasn't the first time he'd joined them at 79s, but it was the first time since he'd begun his relationship with Rex. His leg was bouncing, and he swirled his whiskey with expert hands, watching the bar. He knew with a Jedi present things could be a bit more mild, but luckily few knew him due to his position as a guard, and so his status wasn't an issue. Clones were forbidden to have physical relationships all around, and for fear of reconditioning, it was a firmly followed rule. Sex led to relationships, possibly children… reasons to desert, to question their lives. So it was forbidden, and he'd seen clones get court martialed and sent back to kamino for it. For that reason Akira didn't see the appeal at 79s. They danced with women in skimpily clad clothing, drunkenly hanging all over them. Jedi didn't frequent any types of parties like this for the same reason. It was simply a tease. But these men did it, they got drunk and let these women grind on them for the night, their buddies dragging them home when things looked like it may turn for the worst.
"Like what you see, Sir?" The half drunk Jesse asked from beside him. He realized he'd been staring, and looked down.
"I'm wondering why they do it. Why they dance with women and kiss them when they inevitably have to cut it short."
Jesse looked over at Fives, his arm behind Jesse's head.
"If they die tomorrow, at least they had that. It's not much, but it's more physical contact than he'll get for the next year in the GAR." Fives, said, watching the dance floor with pursed lips.
Akira was saddened by that, watching the young clone. His cheeks and eyes were red and watching the twi'lek woman dance around him, her hands on his chest.
"Do many of them go home with someone?" Akira asked.
"A few here and there. The shinies mostly, can't control themselves."
Jesse smirked, and Akira sat back, draining his glass.
"Another?" Kix asked, getting up.
"If you don't mind," Akira smiled, his arm finding it's way behind Rex.
"Can I ask you something, sir?" Fives asked.
"No sirs, but yes."
"If I find my way over to that corner..." he said, pointing to the young woman in the bacl.
"I'm not here, Fives. Just use your head."
He nodded, draining his glass. "Thank you."
Rex watched him walk away, and turned to Akira. "He's not going to use his head Akira, he's drunk and grieving."
Akira sighed, "I know. Well keep an eye on him."
Jesse watched Kix return to the booth, and Akira took his arm back from behind Rex and grabbed his drink.
"The Jedi have a similar principal, do they often go home with people?" Kix asked.
Rex stiffened beside him, but Akira let it roll off. "Some. Sex is permitted, attachment is not, however, the sex is still fairly taboo."
"So General Kenobi could go out and get a hooker tomorrow and he wouldn't get in trouble?" Jesse laughed.
"He could but it's not his style." Cody said, sitting down.
"S-Sir-" Jesse stuttered. "I'm sorry I'm a bit drunk-"
"Don't worry about it Jesse. You're off the clock." Cody said, his eyes trained on Akira. Akira didn't have enough to drink to unpack whatever Cody's staring meant, and guzzled down half his glass.
"What about you, Akira? What's your take on the matter?" Cody asked, and Akira sighed.
Rex's leg was bouncing beside him. "I think attachment is inevitable when working with others and they should encourage healthy communication instead. There wouldn't be so much sneaking."
Cody quirked an eyebrow. "Sneaking? You'd know about that wouldn't you?"
The air at the table went stale, and the men stared at him.
"What are you accusing me of, commander?" Akira asked. He wouldn't out Rex here, would he?
He looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, sir, that was out of line."
"No I insist, let's unpack this here. What dirt is it that you think you have on me?"
Cody looked to Rex, and back at Akira.
"I've simply seen you sneaking around with partners." He choked out awkwardly.
"In the decade you've been alive and I've been a Jedi, I've had two sexual partners here in the temple, both of which were consenting, sober adults that knew I was a Jedi. Where's the crime?"
Cody flushed, clearly not expecting his transparency. Akira was not Obi Wan. No one would make him feel ashamed when he'd done nothing wrong. Jesse and Kix stared at Akira, like the admission of a Jedi having sex was like hearing a rock speak.
Cody rose, stalking back to the bar with a slight stagger.
Akira sighed "I'd ask you all to keep this conversation private. The Commander is clearly intoxicated and wouldn't want this getting around." Kix and Jesse nodded, and Akira looked over at Fives. The girl's hands were up his shirt, and Fives was watching her with drooping eyes, trying to keep steady against the wall. The girl was giggling and Fives had his arms draped over her shoulders.
"I think I've had enough. I'll see you all later." Akira said.
They watched him get up from the booth and walk over to Fives. He was nearly slumped against the girl.
"Fives, it's time to go." He shouted over the music.
"You're not my boss." He laughed, and Akira felt a shoulder brush his.
"But I am. Let's go." Rex barked.
Fives' smile vanished, and he staggered toward Rex, who caught him. His hand wrapped around his torso.
"Rex, I'm sorry Rex-" he murmured, staggering over his feet.
Akira was close behind, and outside the cool air hit his face, washing away the heavy stale must that was 79s.
"Rex, Rex please, just let me go back in." He moaned pulling away from him.
"No, Fives. You're hammered, and too drunk to shrug that girl off."
"I don't want to! I want to be- to get- to get caught!" He stuttered, a sob escaping his lips.
"No." Rex said, shaking his head. "You're not doing that. You're not giving up."
Fives fell to his knees, and Rex hauled him over his shoulder in one quick motion, not willing to deal with this in the middle of the street. They got on the back on Akira's speeder, and head back toward the barracks. Akira pulled up as close to the entrance of the barracks as possible, and grabbed a sobbing Fives off the back, giving Rex a break from carrying him. He followed Rex into the nearly empty barracks, and over to the bunk he pointed to. He set Fives down gently, his face covered in snot and tears. Rex pulled his shirt over his head and wiped his face with it, tossing it to the side.
"You listen to me," Rex said, his commanding tone always turned Akira on. "You are not going to cop out. You're an ARC trooper, a phenomenally intelligent one with a company of brothers who love you. Echo is gone, and we're all torn up about it, but that does not mean you're alone. Echo loved you far too much for you to throw your life away in his name. Do you hear me? Giving up is the easy way, fighting for him, ending this war that's taken his life, that's how you honor him."
Fives sobbed and threw his arms around his neck.
"I- I do feel alone," he hiccuped, and Rex rubbed his back. "I know you do, but you're not. I'm always going to be here beside you, and you know Tup is, too." Fives smiled at that, and Rex touched his cheek.
"Stay strong, come talk to me instead of the hooker in the corner, huh?"
Fives nodded, and Akira leaned against the bunk post.
"I know I'm not Rex or Echo, but I'm here for you too whenever. We can go for a walk, whatever you want."
Fives nodded, "thanks, sir."
"No sir. We're off duty."

Akira followed Rex from the barracks, the bugs chirping by the pond.
"Are you coming over tonight?"
Rex shrugged, and Akira put up his hands. "If you don't want to that's fine."
"I do!" Rex hurried. "I just, I feel bad. About Fives."
"He'll be ok. We'll help him. Right now all he needs is sleep, as do you"
Rex nodded, and Akira resisted the urge to pull him into his arms right there.
They walked up to Akira's flat, and Akira closed the door behind him, his head still a bit fuzzy from the bar. He'd downed a lot of drinks fast when Cody came poking around, and they were all hitting him now.
"Rex I'm a bit buzzed myself," he said, the words running on a bit.
"I assumed." Rex smirked.
"So I'm getting in the shower."
Rex nodded, and Akira pulled his shirt off, tossing it next to his bed. He unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of them and his underwear with a stagger and tossing them. He turned to face a reddened Rex, his amber eyes wide.
"You should join me."
Rex shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? I'm alright Rex I'm just… wobbly."
Rex pursed his lips.
"Well, feel free to hop in."
He grabbed the doorframe and steadied himself before stepping into the fresher. The cool water helped his head almost immediately, the smell of alcohol and sweat leaving his nostrils and running down the drain where they belonged. The shower door opened, and Rex stood there, looking self conscious in his nudity, his chiseled chest a patchy red to match his cheeks.
Akira diverted his gaze, closing his eyes. "Rex you didn't need to. That was my drunk talking."
"I want to. Plus, you could get hurt, being that wobbly and all."
Akira smirked, letting Rex in. He stepped in front of him, running his head under the water. Akira wanted to run his hands over his entire body, but Rex's nervousness made him falter.
"Can I touch you?" Akira asked softly.
Rex bobbed his head, and Akira put his arms around his neck, resting his chin on his shoulder. The muscles of Rex's back were pressed against Akira's chest, each movement flexing his sinewy form. Akira loved the feeling of it, the grounding of his body on his.
"Akira," Rex sighed. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." He admitted withdrawn. "I wanted this so badly and now I don't feel like I even know what that is. I don't know how to be with someone. With you."
Akira closed his eyes. "If you don't want to see me anymore, that's alright. I won't be angry."
"No, no," he sighed. "I want to, I just, I don't know anything, I want to touch you but my brain… there's something broken in my mind." Rex huffed.
"Nothing's broken. You're learning something new. You know how to love, you have to learn how to show it now instead of just thinking about it, feeling it. And you are learning, but you keep pulling yourself away with your worrying."
"That's what I do. I worry. About everything all the time," Rex murmured.
"I get that, your life has been danger and destruction. But here the only expectation is for you to be comfortable, and to be honest with me. I don't want you to worry here."
Rex sighed, "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. But if this is going to work you're going to have to trust me when I tell you that I'm not judging you. Ever."
Akira put his arms out. "You said you want to touch me. What do you wanna touch?"
Rex looked at him, his eyes wide. "Akira-"
"Don't Akira me. Touch."
Rex bit his lip. He awkwardly put his hands on Akira's hips, and Akira grabbed his wrists.
"Close your eyes. Relax. Just let your hands do the thinking."
Rex closed his eyes reluctantly, feeling Akira's hip bone beneath his hands. He trailed up and over his waist to his rib cage, his hands resting on his chest. He wandered to his shoulders and down his arms. Resting his chin on Akira's shoulder. His hands wandered up Akira's back, and Akira stood still, resisting the urge to touch him in return. His hands wandered down his back and he squeezed Akira against him.
Akira laughed taking Rex's face in his hands and kissing him.
Rex smiled, and Akira kissed him again.
"I love you," Akira murmured, kissing his neck.
"I- I love you." Rex whispered.
Akira pulled the bar of soap off the small shelf. "May I?"
Rex bobbed his head, and Akira ran his hands over his skin so softly that Rex shuddered as he ghosted over his skin. Rex returned the favor, more so due to Akira's instability, but Akira still enjoyed every moment of his rough hands on his body.
Akira rinsed off and opened the shower door, pulling a towel down from the shelf. He handed it to Rex, watching him run the towel over his muscles, his scars.
Akira dried himself with another and they changed into their pajamas before climbing into bed, falling asleep entangled in one another.