Halo

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A/N-thank you very much for the kind reviews on this story.

Chapter Forty-Six-The Truth of Family

Ben regarded Leia with an emotional indifference which frightened her. She thought his eyes were devoid of any feeling, not realising that he was using it as a valid form of defence against any further emotional abuse. He was just trying to protect himself from more pain.

"Ben." Leia steadied her nerves as she tried again. "It's time."

"Now you decide you want to speak to me." There was still no flicker of emotion in his face or his voice as he continued to look at her with the same indifferent expression.

The general consensus was that love was the opposite of hate, but Leia thought differently. Hate was just a warped version of love itself. Hate shows that once there was love and that love is still possible. The opposite of love was indifference, just like her son was displaying now, the coldness in his dark eyes sent shivers down her spine. His stare was as cold as the void, showing an emptiness of the soul that cares not if the other suffers.

"Ben." Rey spoke his name softly and Leia saw his mask slip as he turned toward the young scavenger. His brown eyes grew warm with feeling-open and loving. "You overheard what she said?" Rey continued telepathically. "I'm worried about you."

"I don't want you to worry." Ben answered her calmly. "This has been a long time coming. Go and find your friend and spend some time with her. We'll be leaving soon." He reached out and cupped her cheek lovingly. Rey leaned into his touch, closing her eyes briefly. His thumb caressed her soft skin for a few seconds before he reluctantly let go.

"Remember, you're not alone." Rey reminded him as she took a step back.

Ben gazed deeply into her eyes. They shone a brilliant hazel. When she was happy, they were warm, lively, and sparkled with mirth. When she was downcast or anxious, they seemed to grow dim and dark. The smooth green on the edge contrasted beautifully with the amber colour in the middle, capturing his heart all over again every time he got lost in their beauty. "I know. I'll see you soon."

When Rey left, she took all the warmth in the room with her. Mother and son were finally alone. Leia looked up at her son, now that Rey was gone the same veil of detachment had been drawn over his face. Leia felt her heart clinch in her chest. The heavy weight of her sadness sat inside her like a germ seed of depression, just waiting for the right conditions to grow, to send out roots to choke the last bit of hope out of her heart. She drew in a shaky breath, not even sure she wanted to begin this conversation anymore. "You show great compassion toward her." She said eventually, meaning Rey.

"Compassion!" Ben scoffed. What he felt for Rey wasn't just compassion. It was love-a deep, abiding love that couldn't be defined with mere words. To be around her was like finally not being alone. He'd been isolated his whole life…and then suddenly Rey had entered his life. What he felt for her was beautiful, mysterious and magical.

"You show a deep empathy to her that I've never seen you show to anyone else. I am hoping you can extend that same empathy and compassion toward me…just for a while." Leia asked with a small smile that didn't extend to her eyes.

Ben looked at her closely. Behind the masked smile she was wearing on her face, there was sadness and fear. She was still afraid of him. Even now she was scared of how he was going to react. He noted the way her eyes darted anxiously left and right, repeatedly as a single sound passed by, checking for danger that would not come. He couldn't blame her for being unreasonably afraid. He remembered the terrified look she used to have on her face when she experienced one of his emotional outbursts when he was a young child. She had convinced herself it was the darkness manifesting itself inside him. Time hadn't changed her mind.

Leia tried to push through the painful memories of her past, totally unaware they were showing on her face. "I failed you, Ben." She confessed with difficulty.

"Are you really going to follow the same script as Skywalker?" Ben questioned impatiently. "You can save your breath. I've heard it all before."

"Harbouring so much hatred will only end up hurting you in the end." Leia replied sharply. "You cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"But you did! For years!" Ben accused.

Leia faltered as her complexion turned ashen. "I thought I was protecting you by keeping the familial connection to Vader a secret."

"You were protecting yourself and your precious political career you mean. Let's not lie to each other, General Organa." Ben countered bitterly. He couldn't say mother-the word was like poison in his mouth. She hadn't been a mother to him in years.

"I met Darth Vader. You did not." Leia's petite frame quivered with anger as she responded to his taunt. "I hated him! I still hate him! That bastard made me watch my home world die. He froze Han in carbonite and sold him to Jabba the Hutt just to get revenge on me for daring to defy him. He cut off my brother's hand, and nearly took his life. And he tortured me. He tortured me until I screamed and shook and thought I would die from the pain alone."

"And that's who you see every single time you look at me." Ben said tonelessly.

"That's not true." Leia's denial was weak. "I was afraid for you. I sensed the darkness inside you. I sensed it even when I was carrying you. I loved you, but worried that I couldn't protect you from the same darkness that consumed Vader."

Ben felt intensely weary. He was so tired of rehashing the past. He remembered Han's easy acceptance of him-there was no blame, no judgement. He had believed him straightaway with little explanation and had been supportive of him ever since they reconnected. And therein lie the difference between his parents. He shouldn't have to fight so hard for his mother's love, it was clear that love had been tainted since she sensed the darkness inside him. In her eyes he was another Vader. She had readily admitted she still hated her birth father. "You cannot deny the truth that is your family." He said, turning Leia's words back on her. "You should take your own advice and stop harbouring so much hatred, you only end up hurting yourself, General Organa."

Leia's breath caught in her throat as she gazed at the tall young man standing in front of her. He looked so much like Han in that moment that it tore at her heart. She clasped her hands together to stop them shaking. "Ben, I don't want to cause you anymore pain." She whispered mournfully. "I'm sorry."

"But you will. For the Resistance you will."

Leia pressed her lips together firmly as her gravity-drawn shoulders painted a picture of her heart. She had been fighting for the same cause, albeit under different names, for most of her life. She would see this fight through to the bitter end. As she strengthened her stance and her resolve, Ben could see the new walls she had built between them in her eyes, leaving him isolated on the other side. She had made her choice and it wasn't him. Hiding back behind his indifferent mask, he asked her what she really wanted from him.

"I am asking you to be selfless and let Rey stay here with me so I can train her myself." Leia said boldly. She inhaled through her nose as she sent her awareness into the void. Peace and calm were key. She could sense the girl had darkness inside her, just like Ben. But Leia would not make the same mistakes she had with her son. She would not give in to fear this time. She sensed that Rey could be a great leader someday, and she would be if she had anything to do with it. "The Resistance needs a spark of hope and I believe she can provide it. I know I am no Jedi master but I learned from the best." She continued, referencing her training with Luke. Leia knew she was first and foremost a politician and a general, but she had accepted her Jedi legacy and embraced it as best she could over the intervening years. "I think that's what Rey needs: training in the Force not from a formal Master, but rather someone grounded in the everyday minutiae of life and survival. Obi-Wan failed to keep Vader from the dark side. Luke failed the same way with you. I will not fail Rey. I promise you, Ben. I've seen the compassion you hold for her. Let her stay with me so she can reach her full potential. You know it's the right thing to do."

A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.