The warnings: this story will contain spanking of an adult, BSDM theme, polyamourous relationship between three people.

No copyright is intended.

Enjoy

K xx

Olivia's POV

Blissful silence rains through the firehouse – after a few manic days everyone was glad of a calm and quiet shift for a change. With the bitter cold of Chicago's winter settling in for good, Squad had even migrated inside to bag a table over in the corner rather than be out on the apparatus floor like usual. With more bodies hovering inside the house than usual, along with a back log of reports and lieutenant paperwork that was keeping Kelly and Matt chained to their desks in their respective quarters, I had successfully managed to avoid talking to either of them most of the shift thus far.

The white noise of the television, pens on paper and the occasional sigh that always accompanies paperwork blunt the silence of the house. That being said when Hermann breaks the silence it causes me to jump and my pen skitters through two sentences of my report.

"What no messages from lover boy today Liv?"

"Shit! What? Who?"

I stare at the line across my report and try to work out whether Matt is gonna make me re-write the whole thing for that one line or whether I can get away with it. Before I can decide Hermann's next sentence stops me short,

"Your boy Aiden. You couldn't go two minutes last shift without a text from him. You two had a lover's quarrel?"

"We're not together!"

My words trip over his in my haste to try and squash this rumour before it starts – just what I need right now is for Casey and Severide to hear via gossipers that me and Aiden are a thing.

"Aiden's just busy. I'm busy."

My response is fast and more aggressive than I had intended. As a hurt look flits across Hermann's face, I quickly push out of my seat and move out of the room. I push into the bathroom before laying my head back against the tiled wall and trying to breath deeply. I hear the door go and shut my eyes hoping that whoever it is will go away and leave me be.

It's then that I feel a hand on my arm, I open my eyes to see the compassion-filled brown eyes of Dawson looking back.

"Don't worry about Hermann. No-one will believe a word he says anyway."

I nod slightly, the statement is true but doesn't settle me any less. The last thing I need is for rumour about my love life to be circulating around the house.

"You need to talk about it?"

I open my mouth, but then close it again. I don't even know how to begin that sentence. I shake my head,

"Nah, I'm good. Just not feeling so good today ya know"

It's an excuse and flimsy at best but Dawson nods anyway and moves backwards towards the door, her hand is on the handle when she turns back.

"You and Matt are doing well at hiding it you know."

I frown, "Your relationship" She clarifies a few moments later,

"We're not… I mean… You'd be okay with it if we were?"

I let my sentence trail off not agreeing or disagreeing with what me and Matt are,

"Yeah – you make him happy Liv. He deserves that; you both do."

With a flash of a smile, she walks out.

I turn to look at myself in the mirror – do I? Do I deserve happiness? It sure didn't feel like it right now.

I breath and let the events of last night come rushing back in…

12 Hours Before

The street light from the corner of the road casts a shadow slightly across the doorway of my apartment as I stumble up to it. I fumble in my bag for my keys, brushing past my purse. The wind whistles around me, making me shiver slightly as I desperately try and locate my keys again. I manage to curl my hand around them just as I hear footsteps behind me. I try and breath, telling myself that they are gonna walk right past the gate and along down the road. It's then that I realise that the street is entirely too quiet and I'm entirely too alone. Just as this thought hits me, the gate behind me squeaks. I feel my breathing pick up to almost hyperventilating, and I desperately try and find the lock on the door in front of me to get inside to safety and the footsteps keep getting closer. As my keys bounce off of the smooth door in front of me, I realise that the footsteps are gonna get to me before I get inside. The thought of screaming comes to mind – but at this time of night both Matt and Kell are gonna be in a dead sleep. By the time that they awake and get down here… well it's gonna be too late. I turn my keys in my hand, pressing one jagged side out between my fingers as a makeshift knuckle as I turn. My heart is thumping loud in my chest as I see the black outline of a man coming up the front path. The shadows obscure the figure's face from view, I move ready to hit out at him as he comes in to range. Just as I tense to swing, my eyes adjust to the lack of light outside and I manage to focus on his face.

"Aiden!"

The breath of relief at the familiar face is blinding. I slump backwards against the door, pressing one hand to my chest. I then realise my keys are still sticking out between my fingers and flick them back into the palm of my hand.

"You almost gave me a heart attack! I left you at the bar on Lawrence."

"Livy! Livy, Olivia, O!"

His voice is strangely sing-songy and the slight slur in his voice has deepened to a point where his words are mashing together as one now. His smile isn't reaching his eyes and it is looking more demented than his usual easy smirk. A small sliver of fear rises, but I resolutely push it down again. This is Aiden – my best friend, he's not dangerous; just drunk off his ass. He keeps moving towards me though and I feel myself unconsciously begin to lean further away. Despite his size and strength, I had never felt intimidated or the least bit threatened by Aiden… until now.

He looms over me and a panic begins to settles in my stomach as the door handle hits the small of my back. I push the panic down - this is Aiden, what is the worst that he is going to do? He's probably just come to make sure that I get in okay.

One of Aiden's hands settles on the door right beside my head effectively caging me in with his body. The doorway is now casting a shadow over my friend's face, causing his eyes to be obscured and go to black.

"Aiden? "

My voice waivers slightly, trailing off at the end in a silent question as he moves his head closer to mine until his face is just a few millimetres away from mine. His breath reeks of vodka and his dank breath hits my cheek as he keeps his head close to me.

I feel his eyes on me for a second and I move to place a hand on his chest. I'm trying to push him away from me slightly and open my mouth to tell him to back off when his other hand grabs the side of my face and his lips crash into mine - hard.

Fast Forward 12 Hours

After vomiting what was left of my breakfast up in the bathroom, I move back outwards and in to the common room again. Grabbing a coffee to try and wash the taste of puke out of my mouth. I move to try and focus again on my report in front of me on the table – I've been on the same report for the last two hours yet I'm barely half way through it. I shake my head slightly, trying to get my attention to focus on the words. Taking a swig of my coffee, I look up to find Hermann's eyes on me,

"I'm just ribbin' ya kid. You and Aiden just seem tight – ya know?"

I nod – I did know. Me and Aiden had always had a tight friendship – sharing everything with each other. He had been my rock for so long, the only thing that had kept me going through my bout of depression when I was 16. He had been the only reason I hadn't OD'ed on pills; he had been the driving force behind me when I had enrolled at the Academy. He had been my everything for so long that the idea of not having him in my life was practically impossible.

I loved Kelly and Matt more than anything – the thing was I had loved Aiden too. I couldn't picture my life without Aiden in it. He was such a big part of me – yet I couldn't picture myself with him in my life after last night. Confusion swirled in my mind causing my stomach to clench again. I just wanted to go back to bed and never get out of it again.

My avoidance abilities had served me well for most of our 24-hour shift however, after 18 hours, my talents had worn thin on the ground – avoiding the bunk room had been hard yet not impossible. It had grown harder and harder as the night wore on and now it seemed my talents had failed me.

"Liv!"

I turn back towards the Officer's Quarters, moving across the bunk room to push Kelly's door open a little bit more and lean against the door frame.

"You ignoring me? I've texted you like 10 times today?"

I move my gaze to my phone as I pull it out of my pocket before pressing the home button – it's a charade. I knew the phone was on silent and I knew because I had been avoiding looking at it all day. I see the 83 new messages and counting… 85 as two more ping into my inbox - a reminder as to the reason my phone had been on silent for the past 24 hours. I pull my gaze away from the ever multiply messages and shove the phone away before turning to where Kelly was sitting.

"Ah - it's on silent, sorry. You need anything?"

I try to force a smile on my face, hoping to escape this conversation before Matt appears as well.

"Just haven't seen you much today - just wanted to check you were okay love? You left pretty early this morning."

I hum and nod,

"Just very busy today"

I utter the sentence as I turn slightly away. I move out of the door again avoiding his eyes. Moving across the bunk room I keep my head down but can still feel his eyes burning on my back and they cause tears to burn the corners of my eyes.

Out of sight, I bolt for the locker room again, shutting myself in a shower stall before curling downwards in to a ball on the cold floor and feel the tears start to run down my cheeks. The cold seeps through my hoodie and into my bones. Still I lay there, letting myself start to shiver.

I sob for well over 20 minutes before pulling myself up. I thrown water on my face, scrubbing away the tear marks before heading back into the bunk room and pulling my blanket over me – willing sleep to make the rest of the shift short.

I feel a body move over me, but keep my breaths even and my eyes closed. His breath hits my face and I feel his eyes on my face, taking in my red puffy eyes.

"Liv? Baby – you okay?"

His voice is soft, so soft I can't tell which of them it is. I don't reply though and a light kiss is pressed on my temple before he stands up and moves away. The cologne and stubble give Kelly away as the kisser and a few minutes later another kiss is pressed on my cheek as Matt moves past the bed. He doesn't linger like Kelly did, too focused on what tasks he still has to do.

I turn my body to face the wall and pressing my head in to the pillow, let more tears fall. Why did love hurt so much?

Matt's POV

"She's acting weird - have you seen her today? Got more than three words out of her?"

I pull my shirt over my head before slamming my locker door shut and turning to face Kelly.

"She's busy - we all have. Why are you not changed? Come on – I want to be home by Thanksgiving!"

My lovely ideas of going back to the apartment and having a nice breakfast with Kelly and Liv are slowly being dashed as Kelly doesn't seem to move towards his locker to start getting changed out of his uniform. He leans forward, elbows on knees,

"I've text her a million times and she hasn't answered a single one."

"You said yourself, her phone is on silent and she's busy doing paperwork."

"We talked earlier, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes Matt!"

"You're over-reacting. It's been a long day and she was out last night with Aiden. She's probably just tired"

"She's been crying – her eyes have been red-rimmed for most of the day!"

"Again, it's been a long day for all of us. Breath…. And for god sake, would you get changed!"

Just as I'm talking Liv's phone lights up, lighting the inside of her bag up. It catches Kelly's attention more than my sensible words are. I drop my bag on to the floor, just as Kelly leans down and plucks her phone out of her bag. He turns it and we see Aiden's caller ID. I tense slightly and with my silence, Kelly moves, swiping the decline button on the call. I see his fingers move,

"Wait. Kelly, we aren't the type of people to look through her phone."

He ignores my hiss completely and unlocks her phone.

"There are 182 messages on here Matt… Jesus 54 missed calls - all from Aiden."

He looks up at me,

"Still think nothing odd is going on? - she hasn't responded to him all day. Something's off about this Matt – I know it!"

He moves to scroll up the line of texts,

"Severide – put it down. Please! It's probably nothi…"

My words trail off as I see his shoulders tense,

"Kelly?"

He passes the phone to me and points for me to see one text that makes my blood run cold -

"I know that that kiss meant something to you too. You can't fake chemistry like that Ollie."

Olivia's POV

Finally, the shift had ended – it had seemed to take forever. I turn in to the locker room and spot Matt and Kelly by their lockers. I pull in a deep breath and take a step towards them as Matt turns around.

In his hand is my phone, the screen alight and on. My breath stops in my chest, my heart speeds up ten times and my gaze focus on the words on the screen. The words that seem so damning now in the cold clear light of the morning.

It's then that I really see their faces – Matt's is hurt and Kelly's is a mixture of anger and disbelief. I feel my head drop to avoid their gazes and I look at the tiles beneath my feet. Trying to make myself invisible and trying to find the best explanation for this. Nothing comes.