Halo
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A/N-thank you for the kind reviews on the last chapter.
Chapter Fifty-One-The Scoundrel and the Scavenger
The cruel desert sun beat down on the young girl's head. Each step she took sunk into the searing sand, the air was thick and hazy, each breath like drowning in larva. Next to her strode the hulking Crolute, Unkar Plutt, the junkboss of Jakku. The ruthless Unkar used hired thugs to enforce his stranglehold on barter, sending them to punish any scavenger who dared dabble in unauthorized trades or negotiated too aggressively. For some reason he seemed to have adopted a soft spot for the latest addition to his scavenging crew. Rey-last name unknown-had turned out to be the best acquisition he had ever made. Despite her very young age she was already holding her own amongst the older and more experienced scavengers, though as a consequence it bred resentment amongst her peers. Normally Plutt left the scavengers to sort their issues out amongst themselves, but when he happened to come across Rey being dragged out in the midday sun one day and being beaten mercilessly by one of the older scavengers as he tried to steal her haul, Unkar found himself intervening.
"You need to learn how to protect yourself." He growled at her.
Rey wiped at the blood dripping from her nose and shaded her eyes as she peered up at Plutt. "He's bigger than me."
"Size is irrelevant. If you know the right moves you can beat them." Unkar said irritably. "I suppose I could teach you some moves."
His offer surprised Rey. Plutt's nickname among the scavengers was The Blobfish because of his bloated appearance. He was known for being ruthless and dishing out cruel punishments to those who thought they could scam him. For him to show mercy of any kind was unheard of. Rey felt very confused. "Master Plutt?" She decided now might be a safe time to ask him the burning question that was always at the forefront of her mind while he was in a lenient mood.
"What child?" Plutt asked grumpily. He wished she would stop her chattering. It was too hot for questions.
"My parents." Rey piped up again. "When are they coming back?"
Planting his feet firmly in the sand, Unkar stopped walking and glared down at the scrawny little girl. He might have felt a brief moment of compassion for her, but that didn't extend to her feelings. If she wanted to survive in this harsh environment then she needed to wise up. "You want to know about your parents, huh?"
"Yes, please, Master Plutt." Rey gazed up at him with pleading eyes but it didn't soften his stance.
"Let me be clear, child. Your parents are never coming back. They were nobody. Just like you. They were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You come from nothing. You are nothing. Do you understand?" Unkar stated harshly.
Rey woke up abruptly, the tears already forming in her eyes. The nausea swirled unrestrained in her empty stomach. Her head swam with half-formed regrets while her heart felt as if her blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. Rey's melancholy mood hung over her like a black cloud, raining down on her personal sorrow. The dreams were becoming more and more vivid each time. Though the latest one had felt more like a memory. Had she really had that conversation with Plutt? Her recollection of that fraught time in her childhood was hazy. In order to survive she had blocked a lot of it out, but now it seemed intent on haunting her, dredging up things she'd rather not think about.
Over the years Rey had perfected a mask of calm and competence; the person she presented to the world mature and capable. In so many ways she was. She had grown into someone able to stand alone and not be lonely- someone who attracts people because they are strong. In fact, it was a charade. Should anything rock her foundation, the whole thing would come down to reveal the abandoned child within- the child who still mourns for who they were before the world exploded. Before they learnt that "forever" could be frighteningly short and "unconditional love" was subject to the whims of a selfish parent.
Throughout her life on Jakku, Rey would sometimes see off-worlders in Niima Outpost, a chief trade outpost on the planet, who she thought might have arrived on Jakku accidentally, unaware of the harsh realities of the desert world. She often wondered if she was left behind under similar circumstances, if her family had come to Jakku by accident and she was left behind as a result of their misfortune. Whatever the reasons were, she held out hope for so long that her family would return for her one day, though she deep down she knew that they would never come back. She had been unwilling to accept this obvious truth for a long time, but after witnessing the emotional turmoil Ben had just gone through with his mother, she began to worry she wouldn't have the strength to deal with her own if she went through with her half of the pact.
Rey gave up on sleep for the night and reached for the fur trimmed cloak that she had secretly scavenged when they were in Kijimi City. She pulled it tightly around her slim frame, seeking as much warmth as possible from the thick material. Somehow the dreams weren't so bad when she had Ben there to soothe her troubled heart. Right now he was with BB-8, making the long trek through the snowy mountainous terrain to rendezvous with Chewie and Zorii so they could take him with them to the secret location where Zorii had stored the Falcon while it was undergoing repairs. Han was meant to go in his place, but Ben had offered in his stead. Han was no longer a young man and would have found the treacherous journey a strain.
Shaking off the remnants of her dream, Rey made her way outside where she found Han still wide awake and sitting in front of the campfire in silent contemplation. When Rey reached him, she held out her chilled hands towards the flames but felt no warmth. The heat from the campfire seemed to be sucked into the frigid air before ever reaching their frozen hands. Han suddenly seemed to become aware that she was there. He motioned for her to sit down while he added more wood and poked it with a long stick. The fire seemed to die a little as if unsure of itself, unready to devour the new offerings. It licked at the new logs like a nervous kitten and sent feeble sparks to die in the air. But after a time, it found its confidence and grew until the heat warmed them, orange flames celebrated with their wild flickering dance.
"Bad dream?" Han asked gruffly.
"You heard me." Rey replied flatly.
"Hard not to, kid. Want to talk about it?" Han offered. "I've heard it helps."
The only one she had ever opened up to about her childhood was Ben. Only he knew what being abandoned had really done to her. He had seen the emotional scars she hid from the world. The soul-destroying loneliness. He had felt the screaming inside of her soul, the begging and the will to do anything not to suffer, to stop the soul shattering and bleeding so invisibly. It hurt. It hurt every day, even though her brain continued to yearn for those who had caused the pain in the first place.
Han sensed her struggle and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I get it, kid." He said quietly.
"Get what?"
"What its like to feel abandoned." The light cast from the flames danced across Han's face as he turned his head toward her. "It's not quite the same but my old man ran out on me when I was just a kid." He gave her one of his lopsided smiles, but this one had a tinge of sadness to it. "I don't speak about him. Or my mother…" His smile disappeared to be replaced with a frown. "Even as I tried to forget them, to pretend it didn't matter, the pain would always be there. Festering. It never leaves you, kid."
Rey sucked in a quavering breath at his words. Han Solo was much more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for. "It hurts all the time."
"I know, kid." Han sighed. "I know."
Rey's breathing became more rapid, shallower as she tried to deal with unresolved feelings about her past. She felt Han squeeze her shoulder in sympathy. She cast her eyes down to her shaking hands as she tried to compose herself. "What do you think I should do?"
Han turned the question around on her. "What do you want to do?"
"I'm conflicted." Rey's eyes scanned his pleadingly. "I want to know and yet I don't. I'm afraid."
"Understandable." Han let go of her shoulder in order to throw more wood on the fire.
"Did you ever try to find your parents?" Rey ventured.
"No." Han shook his head. "I decided to ride Solo after that. Hence the name." He quipped.
Rey smiled weakly, feeling grateful at his attempt to lighten the atmosphere. "Maybe the past is better left in the past."
"If you really felt that way you wouldn't be feeling so conflicted about it. We were both abandoned, kid. The difference is I knew where I came from. You don't. I think you owe it to yourself to find out that much at least." Han pointed out reasonably. He stoked the fire with the long stick again as he gave Rey time to ponder his words.
Rey stared into the pulsating flames of the campfire. The glowing embers seemed to move in rhythm with the flames, matching every dip and sweep. It was mesmerizing to watch, colours of orange and red gave way to yellow and white near the centre, where the emanating heat was the greatest. "Okay." She said eventually.
"Okay what?" Han questioned.
"I'll take the detour to Jakku." Rey said as she pushed herself back onto her feet. The tension in her face relaxed at she looked down at Han's stunned expression. "What you think I didn't know what Ben was planning?" Her lips pulled up into a smile that didn't quite reach her hazel eyes. They were lit with sadness. "Thanks for the pep talk. It helped a lot. Goodnight, Han."
"Anytime. Night, kid." Han shook his head in wonder as he watched Rey walk away.
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.