What You Think Of And What You Do

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CracKing: Did you just get that whacked-out mass email from my sister?

FtLouie: Yes. I could feel myself getting gray hairs just READING it.

CracKing: You're not going along with her stupid walkout, are you?

FtLouie: Oh, right. She won't be too mad if I don't, or anything.

CracKing: You don't have to do everything she says, you know. I mean, you've stood up to her before. Why not now?

Gee, Michael. It's not like Mia doesn't already have a bunch on her plate, what with Finals, the trip to Genovia, and oh, BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU. Let's just add a fight with Lilly onto that list, shall we?

FtLouie: I find the path of least resistance is the safest one when dealing with your sister.

CracKing: Well, I'm not doing it. Walking out, I mean.

FtLouie: It's different for you. You're her brother. She has to remain on speaking terms with you. You live together.

CracKing: Not for much longer, thank god.

FtLouie: Oh yeah. Did I ever congratulate you for Columbia? If I didn't, congrats.

CracKing: Thanks.

FtLouie: At least you'll know one other person there – Judith Gershner is going to Columbia too, isn't she?

CracKing: Yeah, I guess so. Listen, you're still going to be in town for the Winter Carnival, right? I mean, you're not leaving for Genovia before the 18th, are you?

FtLouie: I'm leaving on the 19th.

CracKing: Oh, good. Because you should really stop by the Computer Club's booth at the Carnival and check out this program I've been working on. I think you'll like it.

FtLouie: Can't wait. Well, I have to get back to studying. Bye.

FtLouie has left the chat.

;;

Okay, here's something ridiculous: something that Grandmere said is keeping Mia awake.

"He almost got you, didn't he?"

Which, out of context, if probably an incredibly ominous thing for something to say. But in-context . . . Mia can't believe this, but Grandmere's given her an idea.

Because that was Grandmere's reaction when they talked about Kenny sending her anonymous letters, how he'd been trying to be a secret admirer, get Mia to get invested – of course, Mia wasn't, because she'd been tired and stressed and refused to engage with any of it, but he'd had a decent idea.

Draw someone in, and then when you're confronted and forced to deal with the situation you've built, there's no getting around the point – send someone love letters, there's no hiding the love.

So what's keeping Mia from sending her own anonymous love letters to the boy she likes?

It's a plan with some merit. She'll have to think about it a bit more. But it's also 2:45 in the morning, and Mia really needs to go to sleep.

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Mia's actually awake now, and she's talked with Tina about it, and here's the plan: Mia's going to write up a poem or note, Tina's going to print it on the cards or letters that Mia produces, and then Tina's going to discreetly drop them in Michael's locker on her way to P.E.

Granted, a card with Roses are red / Violets are blue / You may not know it / But someone loves you printed on the inside isn't the most original thing in the world – and that poem is definitely not Mia's best work – but it gets the point across. Michael's got an admirer who isn't willing to admit it to his face yet.

Mia wasn't sure about the use of the word 'Love' in the poem – doesn't that come off as kind of intense? But Tina said it was the best way to go: "It's the truth, isn't it?"

Lars said that it's not like Mia's actually risking anything, seeing as Mia didn't sign the card and the note's in someone else's handwriting. Mia does think this is a good point, but Lars isn't exactly the most romantic person in the world – he's been divorced twice, and spends all his time tracking Mia's every move.

He should also know by now that you're not supposed to talk in Homeroom.

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Dear freaking god, Lilly's still on about the walkout – given her "DON'T FORGET! TEN O'CLOCK! DON'T LET ME DOWN!" that she hissed to Mia in the hallway.

So here Mia is, sitting in Algebra as Frank patiently and cluelessly stands at the whiteboard explaining Chapter Five of their textbooks. It's not his fault that Mrs Spears didn't like Lilly's term-paper topic. Lilly can't really be serious about punishing all the teachers at their school for something one of them did.

Yeah. Of course she is.

Lana leaned back in her chair and hissed "You gonna walk out with your fat friend?" like it was the most imaginative sentence ever. Mia wasn't even able to ask if Lana was going to walk out right back. Not that she ever wants to engage Lana in conversation, but a confirmation that more people than Lilly were on board with ditching class would've been nice for Mia's nerves.

That's a lie. It would've done nothing for Mia's nerves.

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Mia had to get out of that classroom.

And now here she is, with the stupid hall pass, standing next to the second-floor drinking fountain, trying to remember to breathe. She'd really appreciate it if Lars would stop giggling. This is a bad enough look, and now Justin Baxendale's given her a weird look as he passed by with his own hall pass.

Justin Baxendale overtook Josh Ritcher as hottest guy in school when he was declared MVP during the water-polo semi-finals, and Mia totally gets why – he is stupidly good-looking, all muscular but lithe, with smoky eyelashes. Mia knows how weird it is, seeing a too-tall freshman girl just standing by the water fountain, a six-foot-four bodyguard with a fit of the giggles standing next to her, but that doesn't mean she wants to be stared at, okay?

Here's the situation: If she doesn't walk out with Lilly, she's going to get into a fight with her best friend. She might lose her as a friend.

But if she does walk out, she's going to be totally insulting her stepfather.

There's really only one choice.

Lars offered to do it, take the fall. Mia said no. If she gets caught, it's her own fault.

It's a good thing she's got such long legs. She'll need that stride.

Here we go.

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Lilly really can't be satisfied, can she?

Sure, it's not the same thing if everyone evacuates the building due to a fire alarm being pulled as opposed to everyone leaving in protest against the teaching techniques of some of the teachers.

But the result is still the same: standing in the middle of the street in the rain, nobody has coats on because the teachers were too busy hustling them out of the building to keep them from dying in the fires that overtook the school somewhere, even though nobody has seen any kind of smoke, so everyone could maybe get hypothermia and die.

This is the result Lilly wanted, isn't it?

She can't even find something to be happy about, either. She's just yelling, "Somebody ratted us out! Somebody told! Why else would they schedule a fire drill for exactly the same time as my walkout? I'm telling you, these bureaucrats will stop at nothing to keep us from speaking out against them! Nothing! They'll even make us stand out in freezing drizzle, hoping to weaken our immune systems so we'll no longer have the strength to fight them. I, for one, refuse to catch cold! I refuse to succumb to their petty abuses!"

Mia suggested that Lilly write her term paper about the Suffragettes, because they, like Lilly, had to put up with numerous indignities in their battle for equal rights.

Lilly told her to shut up.

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Okay, so if there's already a general idea of what Mia's dress is going to look like, why exactly was if necessary to make Mia try on every. single. dress. that Sebastiano brought from his collection? Pink ones, white ones, blue ones, this one lime-green one Sebastiano said brought out the colour in her cheeks; short dresses, long ones, Disney-princessy ones, this modernised recreation of Princess Diana's wedding dress that Sebastiano had made for some reason.

God, it was this nightmare of hollow-cheeked women in white buttoning and zipping and snapping Mia in and out of dresses. No wonder supermodels end up doing drugs, if this was their day job.

It turns out that Sebastiano is a pretty good designer, because Mia actually couldn't choose a favourite out of the dresses.

Mia couldn't imagine that Sebastiano was actually disappointed to not get to be Prince of Genovia – she'd had this idea that maybe he resented her for that – because Sebastiano seems to really like being in the fashion industry. Although Mia could tell that if Sebastiano were Prince of Genovia, he'd totally wear a crown all the time. He told Mia that nothing brings out the sparkles in someone's eyes like pear-shaped diamonds.

Since they were getting so casual and honest and all, Mia told Sebastiano all about the Winter Dance and how, even though she doesn't have a date, she'd like to go, even though she doesn't even have a dress for the thing. Sebastiano was disappointed that Mia wouldn't be wearing a tiara to the school dance – although he seemed to perk up when she told him about the wire-and-crystals one that Nick gave her once – and he started asking Mia about the dance. Things like "Do you actually want a date? What does the boy look like?"

Somehow, Mia ended up spilling everything about her love life – she totally didn't want to, but it just tripped its way out of her mouth. Thank GOD Grandmere was off in search of more cigarettes and Sidecars; none of this was information she needed.

Sebastiano was actually a really good listener – Mia wasn't actually sure if he was understanding what she was saying, because his eyes never felt Mia's reflection as she talked, and when she was done he looked her up and down in the mirror and just said, "This boy you like. How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

"Because," Mia said. "He likes this other girl."

Sebastiano made this impatient motion with his hands. "No, no, no, no," he said. "He helps you with your math work. Why would he do that if he doesn't like you?"

Mia had to think for a bit. Honestly, it was because Michael was very Frank-esque in that regard: he can't watch people suffer at things he excels at. He has to at least try to help. While Mia thought of this, she remembered all those times when Michael's knees would brush against hers under the table; or when he leans close enough she can smell the soap he uses in the shower on his skin; or how sometimes, like when Mia's doing her Lana Weinberger imitation or whatever, Michael throws his head back and laughs and laughs.

Michael looks his best when he's smiling.

"Tell me," Sebastiano said. "Tell me why this boy helps you if he doesn't like you."

Mia sighed. "I'm his little sister's friend." Really, could this be any more humiliating? Michael's clearly never been impressed with Mia's ravishing good looks or razor-sharp intellect.

Sebastiano straightened the shoulders of the dress Mia was wearing and went, "Don't worry. I'll make a dress for your dance. This boy doesn't think of you as that. You'll see." His French-Italian accent – the native of Genovia – was very soft as he said this.

Anyway, a dress was actually decided on for the televised introduction: it's a white thing with a floor-length skirt that make Mia look kind of like Aurora in Sleeping Beauty, silhouette-wise anyway, with three-quarter sleeves and a light blue sash so she'll match the colours of the royal family. Still, Sebastiano still had all his assistants take a billion photos as she tried on the dresses, and they'd made jokes and she'd laughed for some of them, so it wasn't all bad.

But none of this was so bad as what happened during her after-school tutoring session with Frank. After everyone else had left to go home, Mia had lagged a bit, and Frank had asked her, "Mia, I heard a rumour that there was supposed to be some kind of student walkout today. Had you heard about that?"

Mia'd frozen in her seat and just gone, "Uh. No."

"Oh. So you wouldn't know then," Frank said. "if somebody – maybe in protest of the protest – threw the second-floor fire alarm? The one by the drinking fountain?"

Mia really wanted Lars to stop coughing like that. If he was trying to be discreet, he was failing. "Uh. No."

"That's what I thought. Because you know the penalty for pulling fire alarms – when there is, in fact, no sign of a fire – is expulsion."

"Oh, yes. I know that." Didn't Mia used to be a better liar? She was borderline pathological? Why is she sucking so much at this?

"I just thought you might have seen who did it, since I gave you a hall pass shortly before the alarm went off."

"No. I didn't see anyone." Except Justin Baxendale of the smoky eyelashes.

Frank was kind of smiling, like he'd heard a subtext in the conversation Mia hadn't meant to give. "I didn't think so. Oh, well. If you ever hear who did it, maybe you could tell them from me to never do it again."

"Okay . . ?"

"And also tell them thanks, as well. The last thing we need right now, what with tensions with Finals, is a student walkout. See you at home."

And he freaking WINKED at her as he walked out the door! Like he knew she did it, he knew SHE knew he knew she did it, and that this whole thing was totally fine in Frank's book!

Argh. Frank was better when she only knew him as a teacher.

Okay, that's a lie. But GOD if life wasn't simpler.

;;

Mia's going to have Lars kill Lilly if she doesn't shut up. Seriously – Mia checked his job contract on a whim once, and it's in there that Mia can actually ask Lars to, quote 'commit a physical act against any who might pose a threat to the Princess' wellbeing'. Well, Lilly's posing a threat to Mia's mental wellbeing, in that she's DRIVING MIA CRAZY.

Look, Mia's got enough going on – school, Genovia, her love life – without also having to listen to Lilly go on and on about how the administration of Albert Einstein High is out to get her. Yes, this is apparently the WHOLE administration; because she once complained about the soda machine outside the gym. Apparently, machine is indicative of the administration's efforts to turn their students into mindless soda-drinking, Gap-wearing clones.

If you ask Mia, this isn't about the soda machine, or the attempts from the school to turn their students into pod people. It's all because Lilly's still mad she can't use a chapter of the book she's writing on the teen experience as her term paper. And she said as much – if she doesn't submit a new topic, she's going to get an F as her nine-week grade. Factored in with her A from the rest of the semester, that levels out to a C-ish, which will drag her grade-point average way down. Which her parents definitely will not forgive Lilly for.

Lilly didn't even listen, which made Mia wish she'd been meaner. Lilly just decided that she's having an organisational meeting of a new school group (of which she is president), Students Against the Corporatisation of Albert Einstein High School (SACAEHS) on Saturday, and Mia has to be there because she's the group's secretary. Yeah, because Mia definitely doesn't have anything else happening in her life that she could do on Saturday.

If Michael had been in the limo, none of this was probable to happen, because Michael was good at talking Lilly down like that, but he'd been taking the subway to school early for the last two weeks to get there early and work on his project for the Winter Carnival.

Mia didn't doubt that Judith Gershner had been getting up on the early side too.

On the topic of Michael, Mia had found an old unused card in her room, and she was going to have Tina write Roses are red / Cherries are redder / Maybe she can clone fruit flies / But I like you better.

Still not her best, but whatever.

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English Journal

This semester we have read several novels, including To Kill A Mockingbird, Huckleberry Finn and The Scarlet Letter. In your English journal, please record your feelings about the books we have read, and books in general. What have been your most meaningful experiences as a reader? Your favourite books? Your least favourite?

Books I have read and what they meant to me

Books that were good:

Good Omens – An angel and a demon accidentally misplace the Antichrist and need to find him before the Apocalypse and stop it from happening, because A) the end of the world will get in the way of their self-care routines, and B) the Antichrist has a curfew.

A Wrinkle in Time – scifi/fantasy book that actually has a female main character and doesn't make her into some ridiculous nonsense character? Yay!

Persuasion – This is my friend Nick's favourite Jane Austen book, and it's the only one I was able to read and fully get the first time I read it. All the other ones I had to read twice to fully understand everything. Also I relate to Anne so freaking much, it's not even a joke.

The Great Gatsby – Nick was totally in love with Gatsby, and you will never convince me otherwise.

Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde – I swear, Frankenstein shouldn't be the pop-culture mad scientist character. It should be Jekyll: He's as ACTUAL certified doctor, not an irresponsible undergrad dropout, rigorously documents his experiments, and uses HIMSELF as a test subject because he's not a COWARD.

Books that sucked

The Scarlet Letter – you know what would have been cool? If there had been a rift in space-time and one of those Eurotrash terrorists Bruce Willis is always chasing in Die Hard dropped a bomb on the town and blew it sky high. That's about the only thing I can think of that would make this book in any way interesting.

Our Town – this is a play and not a book, but we read it anyway and all I can say is that, basically, you find out when you die that nobody cared about you and we're all alone forever. You know. It's a feel-good play.

Little House on the Prairie – Little yawn on the big snore. I have all ninety-seven thousand of these books because everyone kept giving them to me when I was little and all I can say is that if Half Pint had lived in Manhattan, she'd have gotten her butt kicked from here to Avenue D.

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No P.E. on Thursday, instead an assembly. About what? Well, usually when P.E. gets cancelled, it's because there's some sporting event to show support for. But not this time. There wasn't a cheerleader in sight. Well, yes there was, but none of them were in uniform, they were all sitting in the bleachers with everyone else; although a good ten of them were jostling each other trying to sit closest to Justin Baxendale.

Instead of a pep rally, it appeared that a major act of disciplinary infraction has occurred at AEHS. An act of vandalism that has shaken the administration's faith in the student body. Which is why they called an assembly, so that they could better convey their feelings of – as Lilly put it – disillusionment and betrayal.

And what was this act so heinous Principal Gupta and the trustees are up in arms.

Why, someone pulled a fire alarm yesterday, that's what.

Oops.

Listen, probably the single delinquent-esque thing Mia's ever done before this was drop and eggplant out of a window, but that doesn't mean Mia wants to commit to the kind of behaviour that leads to people getting hurt. She's not going to be a punk from an eighties movie any time soon.

But it also gave her a little thrill, having all these people coming up to the microphone and decrying her behaviour.

Although she probably wouldn't be feeling this way if she'd gotten caught.

And having to listen to Gupta go on about how she should turn herself in to absolve herself of guilt that will surely follow her for the rest of her teen years and beyond.

Pff, yeah, sure. Mia's TOTALLY going to be obsessing over a fire alarm she pulled in ninth grade a decade from now.

The administration is offering a reward for information leading to the perpetrator being caught – a free movie pass to the theatre. That's all Mia's worth! One free movie, and you'd still have to pay for your own food!
The only person who could possibly turn her in isn't even paying attention, anyway: Justin's got out a Gameboy and is totally ignoring the whole thing. Although Mia gets the sense that either Justin hasn't put two and two together yet, and possibly never will, or he just doesn't care.

Frank though. He doesn't seem to have told anyone he suspects her. Or maybe he thinks Lilly did it and Mia knows. Lilly totally wishes she'd done it, Mia can tell that much, because Lilly keeps muttering that when she finds out who did it, she's going to kill that person, etc.

She's just jealous, obviously. That's because now the fire alarm is being seen as some kind of political statement about the school, instead of what it actually was: a way to prevent as political statement.

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Thank god her father is actually able to be reasonable – Mia's got no more princess lessons until after her finals! YES!

Granted, it's solely because she NEEDS to study for her finals, and in his own words "For God's sake, mother," (Grandmere was trying to keep Mia from leaving the Plaza to stay and be grilled on the cabinet ministers) "if she hasn't got it by now, she never will."

Which is true. Grandmere's been drilling etiquette into Mia's head since before Mia even knew she'd ever need it, and they've been focusing on all the ins and outs of Genovia ever since Halloween.

So Mia actually got home at a reasonable time and actually got some studying done, for once.

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Okay, listen. Mia has no desire WHATSOEVER to be a juvenile delinquent, and she's going to stand by that. But if people are going to keep reacting to the things she does like they're the worst actions ever, then Mia cannot be held responsible for her reactions.

What if she gets expelled?

Because she's sitting outside Principal Gupta's office, waiting to be called in.

And if Mia is getting expelled, Lana should be punished too, because she totally started it. Mia had been sitting perfectly fine in Algebra, when Lana turns around in her seat and slaps a copy of USA Today on Mia's desk, some article about 'Most Popular Young Royal'.

Mia had come in at third-most popular. The reason? 'Not outgoing'.

Ironically, Princess Mia is perceived as being as shy as Princess Diana when she first stepped into the harsh glare of the media spotlight.

Mia read the stupid article and then passed it back to Lana, asking, "So?"

"So," Lana whispered, "I wonder how popular you'd be – especially with the people of Genovia – if they found out their future ruler goes around pulling fire alarms when there isn't any fire."

She was only guessing. Mia would bet her freaking tiara that Lana was only guessing, like Frank was. Unless Justin Baxendale figured it out and mentioned it to Lana (unlikely, Mia's so far off Justin's radar as to be non-existent), then Lana, like Frank, just finds it a coincidence that the fire alarm went off maybe three minutes after Mia'd gotten a pass to go to the bathroom.

But even if Lana had just been guessing, it seemed to Mia that she knew and was going to make sure Mia would never hear the end of it.

Honestly, Mia isn't sure what came over her. Maybe it was

A) Stress of Finals,

B) The impending trip to Genovia,

C) The fact that Mia's in love with a guy going out with a human fruit fly,

D) her mother's impending motherhood of her Algebra teacher's baby,

F) the fact that Lana has been bullying Mia practically their whole lives and pretty much getting away with it, or-

All of the above.

But whatever Mia's final provocation, she just snapped. It was like she was outside her own body, watching as she reached over to Lana's desk and snatching up Lana's phone, where she'd had it sitting next to her calculator.

And the next thing Mia absorbed, she had put that thing on the floor and crushed it into chunks beneath the heel of her combat boot.

;;

She's going to cop an earful for this from Grandmere, Mia just knows it.

She's suspended. And yeah, it's only for one day, but Grandmere insults Mia's choice in shades of lipstick, okay?

And even her parents aren't that mad, especially when Mia said the attack was provoked. Of course, she didn't say what the provocation WAS, but the general consensus seems to be that the stress of everything is just getting to Mia.

Well, her dad did beg a little in the limo he'd come to school into pick Mia up after getting The Call, but Mia didn't budge and Lars stayed silent, so her dad just went "Fine," and his mouth got all scrunchy like it does when Grandmere has one too many Sidecars and starts calling him Papa Cue Ball.

Anyway, Mia's at home now with her mum. She hasn't been doing much painting lately – apparently the scent of wet paint makes her feel queasy since she got pregnant. Instead she's mostly been doing a lot of sketching in bed, mostly of Fat Louie as he sits on the bed, watching pigeons on the fire escape outside the window.

Helen's trying to be all TV Mom(TM) about Mia being home, sketching Mia and trying halfheartedly to grill Mia about Why Did You Break Lana's Phone, and, well. It kind of worked, a little? Because Mia just ended up spilling her guts a bit – about school and Finals, and Michael and Judith and the notes, and the Winter Carnival and Dance, and Lilly and her protest and how Mia has to be a part of it whether she likes or not, and basically everything except the fire alarm.

Helen stopped drawing midway through all this and just looked at Mia. "You know what you need?"

"What?"

"A vacation."

And then they sort of had a vacation, right there on the bed. Helen didn't let Mia go and study. Instead, Mia ordered pizza, and then together they watched a movie of the Lifetime Channel; and it was almost like old times. You know, before Helen met Frank and Mia had to be a princess.

Except, of course, not really, because Helen's pregnant and Mia's suspended.

But it was still nice. Nostalgic.

;;

It's nice knowing she has the support of her friends, even when they have no idea why she needs support. Apparently, the News of Mia's suspension got through school pretty quickly, and now Mia's got about thirty supportive emails for Mia's decision to Stay Firm in Her Refusal to Back Down Against the Administration (what? All she did was crush a phone. That has nothing to do with the school administration). Lilly even went far enough to compare Mia to Mary, Queen of Scots, who was imprisoned and beheaded by Elizabeth the First.

Mia is a little confused for the comparison, because there were a Lot of reasons for Mary's imprisonment, but also she's kind of bemused that Lilly feels this way, because Mia will bet her top dollar that Lilly wouldn't be so supportive if she knew the actual reason Mia broke Lana's phone.

Lilly wrote that it's all a matter of principle – Mia was banished from the school for refusing to back down from her beliefs. Actually, Mia was banished for destroying someone else's private property, and she only did it to cover up another crime she committed.

Everyone else, however, is choosing to view this as a great political act, and during the first meeting of the Students Against the Corporatisation of Albert Einstein High School, Mia's case is going to be held up as an example of one of the many unjust decisions of the Gupta administration.

Tomorrow, Mia might just develop a weekend case of strep throat.

Anyway, she wrote back everyone, telling them how much she appreciated their support, but also to please not make a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be.

And she wrote all this to Nick, too. She didn't hear back – the timezone change was a bit of one, back in Genovia, and often their emails and chat messages, if they wanted instantaneous responses, were conducted either late at night (for Mia) or early in the morning (for Nick). But she knew he'd get a kick out of all this, because Nick admitted that he used Mia to live vicariously as someone with actual relaxed parents – his uncle was very strict and scary, and Mia honestly never liked being near the man, so Nick loved hearing about whatever dumb thing Mia had done, and he used that as a way to relax and unwind from how his uncle ran his life.

Honestly the best thing about Mia's upcoming trip to Genovia was that she'd get to see Nick in person again – which was probably the one major upside to ANYTHING about being a princess: she'd see Nick for more than a summer per year.

;;

CracKing: Hey Thermopalis, what's this I hear about you getting suspended?

FtLouie: Just for one day.

CracKing: What'd you do?

FtLouie: Crush a cheerleader's phone.

CracKing: Your parents must be so proud.

FtLouie: If so, they've been doing an admirable job of hiding it so far.

CracKing: So are you grounded?

FtLouie: Surprisingly, no. I told them the attack was provoked.

CracKing: So you'll still be coming to the Carnival next week?

FtLouie: As secretary to the Students Against the Corporatisation of AEHS, I believe my attendance is now a requirement. Your sister is planning for us to have a booth.

CracKing: That Lilly. Always looking out for the good of mankind.

FtLouie: That's one way of putting it.

Okay, this is the second time Michael has checked that Mia's coming to the Carnival. What's up with that?

;;

Well, the first meeting of SACAEHS might very well be the last, given that only Mia and Boris showed up.

Lilly is utterly inconsolable over the fact that only two people showed. Mia tried to tell her that everyone is too worried over Finals to be concerned with privatisation at the moment, but Lilly doesn't seem to care. She's sitting with Boris on the couch, crying into his shoulder as he speaks to her in this low, soothing voice. Boris kind of irks Mia, what with the violin and his insistence on always tucking his sweaters into his pants and the weird brace his orthodontist makes him wear; but even Mia can tell he genuinely loves Lilly. Like, even as she cries about how she's going to call her congressperson, he's got this sweet, loving gaze that makes Mia's heart hurt.

She wants a boy to look at her like that.

;;

Okay, so SOMEHOW, Mia's day has gone from 'Meh' to 'GOOD FREAKING GOD, WHY?' in about an hour.

So, she was hanging out at Lilly's, waiting for her to calm down, and Lilly's parents come in from their sessions with their personal trainers, and they'd brought with them the Sunday edition of the New York Times, large sections of which, for some reason, arrive on a Saturday if you have a subscription. See, normally, the Drs Moscovitz will go to their Sunday sessions, and stop on the way home for some lattes and the paper. This day was no different. But surely you can imagine their surprise at opening the paper and finding a supplement about the Princess of Genovia's modelling debut.

Seriously.

Mia did suspect that Sebastiano was more than he seemed, and maybe she had these weird fantasies that Sebastiano was going to design her dress to, who knows, strangle her like the one in the original Grimm Brother's version of Snow White? Well, the only murder Sebastiano is going to able to handle right now is his own, because when Mia's dad gets his hands on him, Sebastiano is one dead fashion designer.

The spread was called Fashion Fit for a Princess. Yes, genuinely. Mia can't really blame him, honestly. They'd taken a billion photos of Mia in his whole collection, and Sebastiano is a businessman. Having a princess model your clothes – you can't buy exposure like that. And obviously more outlets are going to pick up the story – Princess of Genovia Makes Modelling Debut.

With one photo spread, Sebastiano will be international. With a clothing line it will look like Mia has endorsed.

Grandmere isn't understanding AT ALL why Mia's so upset. All she's saying is "You look perfectly beautiful!" over and over. She is getting Philipe's anger better, what with the whole 'my daughter is being used as advertisement' thing.

And why is Mia so upset? Maybe because she's NEVER wanted to be a model. Because she's always wanted to be an activist, a humanitarian – fashion is not her passion.

Her classmates are SO not going to get it. They won't believe Mia didn't pose for the pictures. They are going to think she's a sellout. They're going to think she's a stuck-up model snob.

Mia would so prefer being a juvenile delinquent.

It'd be a lie to say she look bad. She looks pretty okay. What they'd done was take all the photos and put them on a purple background in the paper, and Mia won't lie that she looks pretty good in some of the pictures, given that she was actually having a decent time, when Sebastiano would make her laugh and twirl in the dresses.

But she can't figure out what he was thinking – honestly, she's a little hurt. She'd thought that maybe they'd bonded a little, when he'd asked her all those questions about Michael. Guess not.

Her dad is on the warpath – he's called the Times and demanded that they remove the supplement from all the papers not delivered yet, and called the concierge of the Plaza and insisted on Sebastiano being listed as persona non grata, which means the cousin of the Prince of Genovia isn't allowed to set foot on hotel property.

Even Mia found this pretty harsh, but not as harsh as Philipe wanted to be – he wanted to called the NYPD and press charges against Sebastiano for using the likeness of a minor without the authority of her parents, but thankfully Grandmere talked him down, pointing out that there'd be enough publicity over all this without needing the scandal of an arrest.

Philipe though, is still so mad he won't sit still – pacing back and forth and making Rommel the hairless poodle all nervous, watching Mia's dad with his head moving back and forth like he's watching a tennis match.

If Sebastiano were in Grandmere's suite, Mia would be that her dad would smash up a lot more than just his phone.

;;

FtLouie: Well, Grandmere's certainly done it now.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: What'd Clarisse do this time?

FtLouie: You know how Sebastiano was in NYC to make me a dress for my introduction?

HalfAgonyHalfHope: Yes.

FtLouie: Well, I tried on all his dresses – you know, to figure out what looked nice – and his assistant took all these photos. I figured they'd go into a portfolio or something, but instead he, with Grandmere's permission, instead sold the photos to the newspaper for a weekend spread photoshoot. Behind everyone's back.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: YIKES.

FtLouie: Pretty much! And I don't think I could ever actually forgive Grandmere for this – like, I know she's an old lady with old-fashioned ideas and stuff, and somewhere in her cold, dead heart she probably loves me, but if she actually cared, she WOULDN'T DO THIS!

FtLouie: Like, her reasoning was that 'Mia suffers from a terrible self image and needed a boost'.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: And she figured the best way to help your self-image would be to go behind your back and self your photos to advertisements for clothing?

FtLouie: That's what Dad said. It also shut her up for a good twenty minutes.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: Jesus. How'd your mum react?

FtLouie: She pulled out the supplement and put it on the fridge and drew devil horns on the pictures.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: You have to admit that's kinda funny.

FtLouie: Yeah, but the whimsy won't stop me from being ridiculed at school on Monday.

HalfAgonyHalfHope: Hang in there. A few days later and you won't even be on the continent.

FtLouie: It's all that's keeping me going right now.

HalfAgonyHalfHope and FtLouie have left the chat.

;;

A/N: This chapter and the next one were originally going to be one big chapter, but then I looked at it and where I was in the story and realized that doing that meant that chapter 2 of this was ELEVEN THOUSAND WORDS AND COUNTING. So here's a six thousand break between the first chapter and the end of the story. Book 3 is a three-shot.

I'd originally planned for Nick to make a physical appearance in this story arc, but I realized that where this one ends is a good point for this arc, so I'm going to write an in-between thing for books 3 and 4. It'll be all about Mia's trip to Genovia, and I promise, I promise, we'll have Nick there.