Warnings: As ever there is a BDSM warning in effect as well as spanking of an adult and some mentions of rape.

I kind of realised this has veered away from the BDSM/Polyamourous relationship that I started this fic. about and so I am going to try and steer the horses back towards that. Hopefully, Olivia is going to make up with Matt and Kelly soon and so there should be the interestingness of them trying to figure out their BDSM thing with Olivia recovering from the aftermaths of Aiden's attack.

Hope you enjoy this chapter and as ever I love hearing from you all so feel free to drop me a line.

All the love,

K xx.

Olivia's POV

Rage just engulfs me. I don't think about the consequences or about what I am going to say I just walk straight towards the dining room. The fear of seeing them melts away like ice in front of a flame-thrower. Whipping around the corner and into the dining, I don't even spare a thought as to how many of them are there, how much of a spectacle I am about to make of myself. My heart is thumping hard in my chest and I'm shaking slightly from the anger.

"How fucking dare you!"

Everyone in the room jumps slightly, cards are left abandoned and faces turn in my direction. Suddenly I am centre of attention – but hey, at least this time it is for what I am doing and what I am not.

"I need you now?! Are you kidding?"

Dawson goes to open her mouth but I steam right on over her; not letting her get a word in edgeways.

"I needed you all a month ago!"

My voice is getting steadily louder and louder as all of the anger that has been building inside of me erupts.

"I needed you well before now. I was drowning and none of you were there. You sat there and watched me go under and not one of you had the decency to see if I was okay. No-one had my back. I don't need you – I manage to get myself up. You're just a little too late!"

I meet everyone's gaze in the room person by person as I yell. Most have the decency to look guilty or at the very least drop their eyes to not meet mine. Breathing heavily from my rant, I pause to pull in breath and turn back to Dawson, arching an eyebrow -daring her to say something. She meets my eyes head on and for a second, we lock eyes and just stare. If anyone is going to yell back, it's Dawson. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. With that she breaks my gaze and looks away.

It's then that I turn my attention to the one person in the room that I had expected to have my back – the one person whose behaviour had cut the deepest.

"And you… How could you! Of all of the people in this house I expected you to be on my side, to see if I was okay."

"I didn't think…."

Hermann's voice is small, weak as he tries to defend himself however in this round, he is about to hit the floor and stay down. Just like Dawson I don't stop to listen to whatever lame excuse he is about to give me.

"Think what? That I would need a friend, a person to be on my side for a change? That I would need someone to talk to? Didn't think that I would need someone to cut me some slack not pile it on more! To practically beg the Lieutenants to get me written up!"

My rage is failing fast and I stop suddenly. Hermann has slumped further down on the sofa, head in hands and on his knees.

I take a step backwards and then another.

"I needed you weeks ago. I needed someone to call when I decided that this life would be better without me in it. I needed someone to hold my hand as I walked in to that Police Station to file charges."

My voice had quietened considerably now, it was barely audible yet with the dead silence of the room it carried more than I thought it would.

"I had no-one. Not one of you was on my side then."

I take a shaky breath and admit the one thing that I had been so scared of since pulling up outside of the Firehouse just half an hour before,

"How can I trust you to have my back when you've already proven you would let me down?"

Silence is all that is left as I turn and walk away.

The swing doors bang hard behind me as I push out of them and on to the Apparatus floor. I expect a wave of triumph after all, I had said what I needed to. What I hadn't had the courage to say all of the other shifts since Aiden's attack. Yet nothing comes, I'm still just as empty as I was 20 minutes ago. Cold air burns my lungs as I pull it in. I wait for the tears to start to prick the corners of my eyes yet they don't come. Sitting in my car, I wait. No-one comes out of the house, no-one is looking for me. Even after all of my yelling, all of my revelations to them… no-one thinks to come and see if I am okay. I shake my head and start the car, pulling away from the curb and the house.

Kelly's POV

"Look, I get it… You wanna help. But right now, there is nothing you can do. My team is on this one and we are following every lead."

Voight is surprisingly calm yet somehow that manages to rile me up more,

"Then why is the Son of a Gun not in handcuffs and in a prison cell?!"

My voice echoes around the room and I see Matt flinch slightly out of the corner of my eye as I yell, all of my frustration and anger at the situation comes spilling out,

"What – you're just gonna let him wander free? He hurt Olivia. Get off your ass and arrest the guy!"

I'm gesturing wildly, I wait for the Casey to step forward, to calm me down like he usually does. Yet this time, he remains silent, leaning against one of the tables, his gaze off in the distance. He's not listening. I know that gaze well enough to know that he hasn't heard a thing that has been said since we came in. He's not hearing me and definitely not hearing Voight. It unsettles me slightly – the silence, the checking out of the conversation.

Voight just raises an eyebrow at my outburst, his jaw clenches slightly at the insinuation that he is just gonna step aside and let this guy go free. A hand on my shoulder makes me realise just how close to Voight I had got when yelling. Maybe I was wrong and Casey was listening after all.

His hand on my shoulder is pretty persistent as he guides me backwards, keeping contact the whole time. He nods slightly at Voight before we are suddenly out of the door and going down the steps of the precinct. I lean back on to the side of my car as I settle my eye on Casey again. He steps forward so that his legs are either side of my crossed ones.

"We need to do something… maybe we could track down this guy; get him to confess?"

Even as the words leave my mouth, I know that Matt is not going to go for it. He's all for vigilante justice but on this one… I'm not so sure. His hand settles on my midthigh, fingers digging into the muscles slightly, trying to work the tension out without drawing attention to it on the busy sidewalk.

"Let the police do their job."

Is the only response that I get before, he lets go and nudges me towards the driver's seat. Sighing, I twirl the keys in my hand, letting the house key ridges dig hard into the palm of my hand for a second; just to feel the sharp pain as I try to the ease the hard pressure in my chest pressing hard on my ribs.

Casey's POV

In the end, it takes longer than I expected for one of us to crack and it wasn't the person that I had expected to either. Kelly had been the one to storm into the Precinct and square off to Voight; Kelly had been the one to snap at his men all of the rest of shift; Kelly had been the one unable to sit still for more than 5 minutes all day – I don't think the Squad rig had been so clean and tidy all month. Even after getting home from shift, he hadn't stopped – downing an entire pot of coffee on his own, he had then decided to go for a run; do press-ups; vacuum the house; clean his car… the list went on and on.

I drift from room to room of the apartment, dropping my bag in the bedroom and turning to sink on to the bed. The sounds of Kelly moving around in the apartment echo like a tornado, his muttering and swearing are low but still audible. Shaking my head, I move to scoop up my bag, pulling out my t-shirt out to dump in the washing bin. A loud bang and the shattering of plaster causes me to turn back towards the bedroom door but just as I catch a flash of colour in the corner of my eye that looks familiar. I drop the shirt and as it flutters down to the bottom of the basket, I see it.

That crumpled red shirt laying inconspicuously at the bottom of the bin. My hand is shaking it wraps around the soft cotton and pull it out to hold the fabric in my hand gently. All thoughts of the chaos in the living room is forgotten in that moment. Without conscious thought I move the cotton towards me, closer and closer until it is pressed against my face and a familiar perfume fills my nostrils. My legs give out under me as I sink downwards, clutching that shirt to my face, desperately breathing Liv's scent in as tears flow down my face.

That's where Kelly finds me half an hour later.

"Matt… Any ideas of where all of the ice packs have gone? I've checked the freezer but…"

Kelly's voice trails off as he enters the bedroom, his knuckles red and swollen.

"Matt… Baby?"

His voice goes low as he moves to crouch down in front of me. I must look ridiculous – hunched on the floor, holding on to a women's shirt like it is a life vest, red-rimmed eyes and dry sobs still racking my chest.

In the end, it's me that breaks first but it is Kelly that has put a hole in the living room wall.

Olivia's POV

Over the next three hours I almost wear a hole in the floor with my pacing. The churning of my stomach mixed with the constant loop of my words to the Firehouse replay over and over in my head. The words sound so harsh now that the anger had faded away. As the light faded and the street lights switched on outside of the window, the restlessness increases. So much so that when there is a knock at the door, it causes me to jump out of my skin, knocking a stack of magazines to the ground.

I peek through my peep hole to come face to face with the two people I had hoping to avoid for a little while longer. My hand comes to rest on the door knob yet it doesn't turn it. I stand there, head on the door, praying that they would go away. I thought I would have more time. More time to figure out the words that I needed to say; more time to find the courage to be able to say them to the two men outside of the door without breaking down. Yet it appeared that they weren't going away. Another knock jolts me out of my trance. A deep breath or two later, I pull the door open and face the two Lieutenants.

We just stand there, staring at each other. The silence is suffocating. Kelly as ever is the first to break the quiet,

"Can we come in?"

My grip tightens on the door and the small childish part of me hopes that they might still go away.

"Why?"

My voice comes out sharper than I mean it to.

"To talk?"

It sounds more like a question than a statement but with one look at Kelly, I can tell he isn't going anywhere until he has "talked". I move the door slightly more towards me, effectively reducing the gap between me and the door jam. Kelly steps forward at my movement, cutting off my sight of Matt in the process. His hand presses on the door, stopping my process of inching the door shut. My gaze moves from his hand up his arm to finally meet his eyes. Our eyes lock suddenly as I harden my resolve and keep my grip on the door.

"Please?"

Matt's quiet plea breaks the stare off that me and Kelly are currently competing in. I flick my gaze away from Severide before huffing out a breath.

"Why? Now you want to listen to what I have to say?!"

I turn, leaving the door open behind me as I walk backwards into the apartment, kicking a set of shoes out of my way as I go. Slumping down on the sofa, I pull my legs up under me and wait. Matt had immediately moved to sit on the other end of the sofa whereas Kelly had opted to stay standing just behind Matt. They wait; wait for me to start the conversation that I have no idea how to have. I open my mouth and all of the sharp retorts, spiteful words and anger that has been building up inside of me stalls until all that comes out is,

"I needed you…."

All of the anger at both of them, all of the emotions that I just wanted to throw at them clogs my throat as a sob came out. I press my hands up to my face, curling downwards to block them out of sight.

Severide's POV

Those three words hit harder than any yelling. She had needed us, she still did and what had we done? We had pushed her away, isolated her out and decided she was guilty without even listening to her. We had let the jealousy of her and Aiden's friendship colour our opinion without even letting her tell us her side of the story.

Matt moves down the sofa to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her arms away from her face. Olivia lays her head on Matt's shoulder, eyes closed. I sink down the other side of her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, resting my head on her shoulder.

We sit there in the quiet of the apartment for a long time. Just holding o to each other, trying to mend the damage we had done. It was Liv that finally broke the silence, as she speaks, I turn to look at her and find her eyes still tightly closed.

"He was drunk, so drunk. He must have followed me from the bar 'cause that's where I left him – still drinking. He cornered me by the front door, pinned me in. He leaned in and I tried to push him away. Then he's kissing me and… and he's putting his hand down the front of my jeans. I'm just frozen, and his fingers…. His fingers go in me. I try and push him but he's too heavy. I'm scratching at him and trying to punch him and all the while he's saying that I've been teasing him, that I want this, that I'm his and he loves me. Then he just steps back and leaves. I just remember standing there looking at the dark street shaking. I didn't want to wake you so I slept in the spare room…"

Liv's voice trails to nothing and tears glimmer in the light as they slid down her face. I see Matt's hand clenched on his upper thigh – knuckles white, his anger evident. I slide off of the couch to kneel at her feet, pulling her hands apart from the clenched grip she has., holding them in mine.

"Liv… you know this isn't your fault right?"

Her nod is small, the murmur so quiet that I nearly mistake it for a car passing by outside. My eyes dart to Matt's quickly – a slight wave of relief comes as I see the same slightly panicked look in his eyes too.

"Then why didn't you tell us that morning? Or even later on? Why hide it?"

The question comes out more hurt than I intended. It hangs in the air unanswered until Matt seconds the question.

"I just…. I lead him on, didn't I! I cheated on both of you and I made him believe that I cared about this …"

Liv tries to duck her head downwards but I move my hand quicker, catching her chin and moving her until those beautiful eyes hit mine.

"Look at me! This was not your fault! Having drinks with him, flirting with him whatever… that doesn't automatically give him the right to think that you want to have sex with him. Nor does it justify him forcing you!"

"Kelly's right baby. He had no right. No matter what you said or done. And for the record that was not cheating!"

Matt backed me up immediately and I move to sit back on the couch beside her again. Wrapping an arm around her waist, we just sit there in silence again.

No-One's POV

In Molly's Hermann sits with a beer in his hand, beaten down and angry at himself for not seeing the signs again. No one tries to intervene. It's a sombre crowd that sits broken and distraught in the chairs.

Across town Aiden hits the side of a building as a pair of hands connect with his back, sending the bag of groceries under his arm to the floor. As he turns, a fist connects with the side of his face sending him stumbling. As he turns to right himself, he is shoved into the boot of a car – the last thing that he sees as the trunk closes is the pissed face of the Detective Sergeant of Intelligence. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders whether he will see the dawn. In the passenger seat of the car, Olinsky wonders the same thing.

In the apartment the two men sit, holding the girl between them up. Their hands tight, their arms strong and their embrace warm. For the first time since the attack the girl's eyes slide close as sleep mercifully comes this time to claim her.