Fallen Apprentice
It wasn't wise to dwell on the past, to think about what you could have done to change the present, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. What else could he do to kill the time, many hours every day, than to think and think and think and regret-
It wasn't healthy, but he didn't care. Qui-Gon worried about him, he knew, but he couldn't help him. No, he could only watch as he did his very best to not end as a sobbing mess on the floor.
He should avoid public spaces, and he did. Most of the time, at least. Not only was there a risk, no matter how small, that he could be recognised and thus lead the Empire right to the doorsteps of Luke and his family, but it was also a form of self-harm. Unfitting for a Jedi for sure, but what could he do? Frequenting the cantina was the only time he could see his friends –his family- and no matter how painful it was to hear about them doing things they would have condemned once upon a time, he couldn't stop.
He took another sip from his glass –the only beverage he would allow himself tonight as he couldn't afford to get drunk in public- while glancing up just in time to catch a glimpse of a Togruta woman in the news. He didn't need to read the text below to understand what was going on, the stormtroopers standing attention behind her saying it all; no doubt this was about another revolt being beaten down, 'protecting' the citizen of the Empire from criminals and war.
Right now though, he didn't pay attention to that. He could mourn the dead later, but right now, he would mourn the living.
Ahsoka had grown into a beautiful and confident woman, he thought, and for a moment he felt something like parental pride before the realization what else she had become set in and the spark vanished. She wore a set of black armour that didn't look too different from the one another well-known figure in the Empire was clad in, even though it was much less bulky and allowed for more movement. He thought it resembled the armour TIE-Fighter pilots wore, but he hadn't seen many of them and so couldn't be sure. A black cape that was a deep violet colour on the inside hang from her shoulders to the ground, the well-made fabric hugging her body and somehow making her look even taller than she already was. No doubt it made it even easier for her to stare people down.
The greatest difference to the bright and happy teenager he had known years ago, however, was not her choice of clothes but her face.
The simple headdress she had worn as a Jedi was gone, replaced by a silver band that was decorated with what he recognized as an akul-tooth as well as blue and green crystal fragments. The former was easy to figure out, it was a well-known tradition for Togruta to wear the teeth of an akul after killing the beast on your own, so it was the latter thing that brought another stab to his heart; most people wouldn't know the difference, but he was a Jedi and recognized a kyber crystal when he saw one. He tried very hard not to think about how she could have acquired them to make her headdress.
Instead, he focused on her eyes, only to regret that decision a second later.
Both her eyes were yellow pits of fire, burning with hatred and pain and dark side energies. You knew instinctively you stood in front of a superior foe, a predator you couldn't hope to outmatch or outrun, by just looking at them. A predator that dared you to do anything other than submit to it. They were different from Dooku's and even Maul's eyes, he could see that even through the holo transmission. Dooku had always had a tight grip on the dark side, rarely allowing it to corrupt his eyes, but when he did, they still shone with a sort of detached superiority that was visible through all his hate. Maul was different; when he first met him as a Padawan, their most dominate feature had been arrogance and hunger for blood. Later, during the Clone Wars, these emotions were replaced by rage and the desire for revenge.
Dooku had been all about control, while Maul held a tight enough grip to not lose himself to the dark side while still letting his emotion run free.
Ahsoka's eyes were something in-between.
For all that he could see the emotions ranging in them, they were subdued, held back with an iron fist. There was the same control he had seen in Dooku even while they hold more intensity than Maul had ever had, the dark side waiting just out of sight to be unleashed on its master's enemies.
He couldn't help but wonder if Vader's eyes looked the same behind his mask.
How had it come to this? It felt as if it was yesterday that the three of them ran over the battlefield, having each other's backs while liberating whatever planet they were on. How could they been broken up like that, with two of them falling to the dark side and him being nothing more than a broken man in exile?
It wasn't wise to dwell on the past, to think about what you could have done to change the present, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Where exactly did he go wrong? Was it all the way back when he took Anakin as his Padawan? Maybe he hadn't been the right choice, maybe he should have let someone more experienced take him. Was it during his training? Maybe he should have been more supportive, more understanding. Was it during the war? Maybe he should have told him that he loved him, that he would support him even if it went against the Code. Was it when he found out about him and Padme? When he finally realized that they were not just friends, not just an affair, but truly in love?
Maybe it was all of this, maybe it was something else entirely.
And Ahsoka? Force, he should have stood up for her when she was accused of a crime she didn't commit. He knew she wasn't guilty, of course he knew, but what had he done? Not enough, that was certain. After all the time he had looked out for her, in which she became not only something like a second Padawan to him but family in the same sense as Anakin was, he failed her when it was most important.
It wasn't healthy to think like this, but he didn't care. He had failed Anakin, first when he didn't notice how much pain he was in and how he was exploited by Palpatine, and then when he failed to kill him on Mustafar. When he allowed his brother to become the monster he was today.
Now, all he could do was to watch them both bring death and destruction over the galaxy. Luke was their last hope, the last part of Anakin that still existed, and he wouldn't fail him. Not like he failed his father.
He ignored the usual hustle of the crew behind him as he stared onto the planet below, his arms crossed in front of him. The Force was singing in anticipation, eagerly awaiting the confrontation that was almost fifteen years in the making. By this time tomorrow, there would be one Sith less in the galaxy, it only remained to be seen which one would die.
He was confident that it wouldn't be him.
His armour might give him a disadvantage, no matter how much work he had put into it to minimalize it, but he had taken steps to guarantee that his master wouldn't be able to effectively exploit them that easily. It was a shame that he wasn't able to get rid of the damn thing before the fight, but the Emperor would notice if he vanished for a prolonged amount of time. Unfortunately, the process of escaping his personal prison was a lengthy one.
No matter. He would overcome this obstacle, just like he had overcome everything else.
The thought of how willing he was to get rid of his armour brought a grim smile to his lips. He remembered vividly how just a decade ago he had thought of it as something he deserved, something he would keep for the rest of his life. Oh, how foolish he had been. While a part of him still thought he deserved this punishment, a bigger part had realized that he couldn't let himself be held back like that forever. No, the armour needed to go. His defeat on Mustafar had taught him an important lesson in self-control and allowed him to master his power to an extent that had been unthinkable before. It might not have been worth all his injuries, but what was done was done and he needed to make the best of it. Now that he understood that, the armour wasn't needed any longer.
He felt her presence even before she entered the bridge.
Taking Anakin Skywalker's Padawan and making her his was probably his greatest achievement to date. Not only had he gained a powerful apprentice, no matter that her official rang was that of the Grand Inquisitor, for now, he also got the final tool he needed to silence Skywalker for good. By using her bond to her former master and turning her light into darkness, forming her anew, he shattered the persistent, annoying remains of his former self. It had been irritating to accept that part of Skywalker had still been alive, but it had been worth it; now he could finally reach the heights he had always been destined for.
"It's almost time," she said when she came to a stop beside him, mirroring his pose by crossing her arms. "He's awaiting you."
"Indeed. " He allowed himself a second to be amused at how she could this at ease around him. No one else would dare to be like that around him -for good reason- and usually not even his apprentice should act like that, that wasn't the way of the Sith, but he let it go. He could allow himself to relax the rules a bit as long as she didn't forget her position. Besides, when were they ever 'normal' to begin with? "It's surprising that he waited as long as he did. He should have known better than to allow you time to grow."
"And it will cost him his life, Master."
He nodded, even though he knew it wasn't that easy. Oh, he would win, no doubt about that, but there was no way Sidious didn't know about him breaking the Rule of Two. He might not have any explicit proof, but he wasn't stupid. He didn't believe for a second that his master would have allowed him to train an apprentice of his own for so long if he didn't have a plan to deal with them eventually. Overconfident the man might be, but it had yet to reach the point of insanity. As it was, his best guess was that he had another student of his own that he planned to use against Ahsoka while taking care of him himself. Afterwards, he could simply take the surviving apprentice as his replacement.
If that was his plan, then it wasn't stupid. It would allow him to get rid of one problem while instantly solving another. Unfortunately for him, however, neither he nor his apprentice would die today.
They would rule the galaxy, just like he had foreseen.
"You remember your role?"
"Of course, Master," she said dryly. "I'm only to interfere if absolutely necessary and look out for possible traps."
He nodded again. There wasn't any need for conversation between them at this point, no need to reassure each other or voice unnecessary worries. They stood above such things.
Deciding that it was time, he gathered the dark side around him and bundled it into a tight ball, concentrating all his power into one place, before he let it go. It ignited like a blaze, setting the world aflame and roaring his challenge for everyone to hear. Every Force user in the galaxy could hear it, and those that knew its meaning understood what was happening; a tradition that existed for over a thousand years, of a student challenging his master, was about to repeat itself. He felt Ahsoka do the same at his side, her powers merging with his own and goading his flames to new heights.
And Sidious replied in kind.
Where their powers were a violent storm of fury and rage, his was like a black hole; it devoured everything it encountered, destroying and contaminating everything without any mercy. He was like a sickness, and they were the flames that would vanish it.
For years to come, the people of Coruscant would talk about the day where even the warmth of the sun couldn't vanish the sudden, unnatural cold in the air; the day where everything seemed a bit more dull, a little less colourful; the day the Emperor died.
For this was the day one era ended and another began.
This was originally the first part of a series I am currently writing, but as my plans have changed, I have discarded this part. It would be a shame if I just deleted it though, so I decided to upload it as a stand-alone story. Hope you enjoyed it!