Halo

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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.

Chapter Fifty-Nine-A Drunken Confession

Han drank in silence, hoping that the answer lay at the bottom of the glass of Corellian whisky and then the bottom of the bottle and then the next bottle and the next. As the journey to Ajan Kloss dragged on, Chewie left him to wallow in his misery over his latest encounter with Leia, having lost patience with him when he continued to seek solace in drink again. After a while Lando took the Wookie's place. He helped himself to a glass and sat down beside Han. Few words were exchanged between them. And the words that were spoken came out slurred and senseless. When Ben took a break from piloting the Falcon with Rey, he went to check on his father after Chewie expressed his impatience with the way that Han was handling things. When he found Han and Lando they were inebriated.

"Son, come and have a drink." Han's words ran together as he tried to stand. He had burnt through the bottles of Corellian whisky and could hardly focus as he staggered to his feet. His cheeks were rosy from the strong alcohol. He held out a glass to Ben, his actions slow and clumsy.

"No." Ben said shortly as he reached out to steady Han when he began to sway on his feet. "I know you're upset but drinking is not the answer, Dad."

"I'm not upset." Han protested as Ben helped him to sit back down. "Me and Lando were just remi…. reminshing…." He blinked as the drink robbed him of the ability to express himself properly. "Tell my boy, Lando. We were just remini…"

Lando nodded as he held up his half full glass of whisky as if in silent salute. "We were remembering the good old days." He said as he tipped his head back and drained the glass. He seemed more coherent than Han, not by much though.

"The days when you drank and gambled your way around the galaxy. You mean those days?" Ben responded testily. He began to gather up the abandoned bottles.

"Those were good days." Lando slurred as he and Han toasted each other.

"Simpler days." Han agreed.

Ben hunkered down in front of his father and looked at him closely. Being drunk was Han's coping mechanism. This was the second time he had gotten completely wasted after an emotional confrontation with his estranged wife. Ben pondered how similar their reactions were, he may not seek oblivion in drink, instead finding other ways equally as destructive. The end result was the same, the ones they ended up hurting the most were themselves. "Dad, I hate seeing you like this." He said earnestly. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." Han answered testily. "I've been doing fin-fine by myself for years!"

"Don't worry about your old man." Lando put his hand on Han's shoulder in a sign of solidarity. "I've got his back."

Ben sighed as he focused his attention on Calrissian. The bald truth was his surrogate uncle was no better than Han. Lando had isolated himself on Pasaana because he couldn't cope with the loss of his daughter. In doing so he had lost touch with his wife, the one person who should have able to help him through his trauma. No wonder the two men had gravitated toward each other in their youth, Ben decided, they were both the same.

"You've got to stop using drink as a way to cope when dealing with problems or emotional difficulties. All you end up with is a painful hangover and a whole lot of guilt. It doesn't resolve anything." Ben explained.

"Don't lecture me, son." Han said broodingly.

"I'm not lecturing you." Ben took the empty glass out of his father's hand and put it to one side. "I understand. I do."

Han groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. The world was spinning faster than normal, his mind in a frenzy. Under the influence of alcohol, the festering pain in his heart was numbed. There was of course a small voice quietly nagging at the back of my mind, sounding too much like Leia for his comfort, reminding him that he wouldn't feel this way tomorrow and that his actions would have repercussions, but right now he was drunk beyond the point of caring.

"You're beginning to sound like Luke. He used to tell me he understood right before giving me one of his condescending lectures- 'You can't always live in the moment Han.'" Han said, mimicking Luke Skywalker's voice badly. "You're being selfish. Think of Leia. Every action has a reaction…"

Ben flinched, the last thing he wanted was to be compared to Skywalker. He glared at his father resentfully but Han was too inebriated to realise the effect his words were having on his son. He had reached the stage where he was feeling immensely sorry for himself.

"Your uncle always was an overly eager, irritating, interfering ass…"

"Han." Lando cautioned him. He was coherent enough to notice Ben's reaction.

"What?" Han said defensively. "I'm only speaking the truth. Just because you became all buddy buddy with Skywalker later on…disappearing on those secret missions together."

Lando frowned as his fingers clenched around his empty glass. "Han, enough." He muttered.

"What secret missions?" Ben demanded.

Lando shrugged. "Your old man's drunk. Ignore him."

"I may be drunk but my memory's not shot." Through his alcoholic stupor Han felt his heart rate rise a little and his face flushed. "You two were gone for months searching for something…when I-I asked you wouldn't say. But Leia knew, didn't she? I know she did. None of you ever trusted me with the truth. Always kept in the dark." He slurred; his tone filled with bitterness. "What were you and Luke looking for, old friend?"

Lando's jaw tightened as he felt himself come under Han and Ben's scrutiny. His clammy fingers slid on the condensation running down the side of the glass in his hand before he managed to regain his grip. He could feel the chill run down his oesophagus and his head made an involuntary shake. "We were just looking for some old artifacts. It was nothing important."

Ben remembered his uncle's penchant for searching for old Jedi artifacts. He had accompanied him on several expeditions himself in his youth. It was on one of those missions that he had first encountered the Knights of Ren. Ben tried to shrug off the dark memory as he concentrated all his attention on Lando. "If you were gone for months it must have been very important. What were you looking for?"

Calrissian reached for the bottle of Corellian whisky only to find it empty. Scowling, he filled his glass with water from his flask instead, adding some ice. He drained the ice between his molars and bit down hard, feeling it melt into cold pools on his tongue. His eyes turned bleak as he finally met Ben's penetrating gaze. "Luke and I were tailing an old Jedi hunter. Ochi of Bestoon. Luke had sensed a sensed a great disturbance in the Force from the dark side and the familiar presence of Emperor Palpatine…."

"What?" Han exploded before Ben had a chance to. "And you said nothing?"

Even though Ben was as livid as Han he tried to keep a semblance of calm. He worried that Lando would clam up completely if they both kicked off. He managed to quieten Han down before returning his attention to Lando. "Keep talking." He ordered.

Lando nodded, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "Luke began investigating this disturbance and recruited me to serve as his partner and guide. Using my underworld contacts, we investigated rumours of a Sith cultist assassin named Ochi of Bestoon who had become inebriated at a remote bar and bragged that he had found old Ben Kenobi's lightsaber as well as a Sith wayfinder in one of the Emperor's vaults. We learned that he was also hunting down a young couple who were carrying with them something immensely valuable. We didn't know who they were or what the thing of value was."

Ben paled at the mention of Kenobi's lightsaber. His eyes met Han's, both feeling the significance of this new information. The young couple had to be Rey's parents and the thing of value had to be Rey herself. Lando didn't notice their look, his focus was inward. "With this information, we tracked Ochi to Pasaana where we found his ship but no Ochi and the trail went cold."

"And?" Ben pressed. "What next?"

"Nothing." Lando mumbled. "That was the last time I saw Luke. After spending time on Pasaana I decided I liked it enough to make my permanent home there."

Words failed Ben. He stared at Lando in disbelief. Secrets. So many secrets. He was sick of it. He only had one more question. "Did my mother know about this?" He demanded.

Lando visibly startled. His eyes slid guiltily to Han's before they found their way back to Ben. "Yes… Luke told Leia everything."

A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.