Hi ! So here a little scene i thought about one night. For now it's a one-shot but if some of you want more, tell me !
Also, English is not my first language, be gentle !
I open the door, my head down, no emotion passing on my face. I lean on the wall, waiting. That when I heard Padmé pick up her thing, ready for leaving. She didn't saw me at first but in her defense, I had never been so quiet in my life. Finally, she turned around and crushed accidentally against me.
"Ow ! Anakin ! Sorry, I didn't hear you come back." She said with a smile. She threw her bag under her arm and searched the key while talking, never meeting my eyes.
"I have to go, I'll be back for eleven okay ?" She takes my head with her hand and pecks my lips. I did nothing to return her excitement, too far gone in my thoughts.
"Anakin ? Are you alright ?" Her brows furrowed with concern and shit... I hate seeing her like this ! The ceremony tonight is her best chance to talk with important people. People that could change the rest of her life with a simple phone call ! I can't let her worrying for me, not now. But I don't want to lie to her and... I need her. For God sake do I need her ! I closed my eyes and swallowed. I am not a child anymore. I don't need to be reassured by sweets lies or to simply be a burden for everyone ! At least that what I'm trying to convince myself.
"Ani ?" She repeats like a whisper.
"I'm okay. It can wait." I could see she was hesitating, not really sure if she should let me go. She pecks my lips a second time and oh... do I love her !
"I'll be back soon, I promise." She let go of my head and close the door. She smiles at me a last time before going for her car, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
The cold breeze hit my skin, calling me to the reality. I suddenly feel really tired and decided to go home.
After a deep breath, I let myself drop on the couch, head first on a pillow. I close my eyes and the silence surrounds me. Wait... Silence ? That when it hit me. Silence.
No footsteps.
Silence.
No other voice.
Silence.
No breathing... Silence.
"No. No no no... NO !" I'm getting up and start running through all the piece of the room. "Mom !" My breathing accelerates. "MOM !" I bump my foot multiple time against the door and sharp edge, too frantic to stop searching for someone I knew, deep down, isn't here anymore.
My Mom isn't here. Picture of the hospital flashed before me. A few hours ago... I remember. The phone call, the road at full speed, the white walls of the hospital, the fear... and the worst of all, the beeping, or should I say... the lack of beeping.
A single,
long,
painful
siren.
Her face blank, asleep forever.
My lungs wouldn't calm down, my head spin and I'm pretty sure my whole body turn cold. With the little strength left, I grab my phone and open my contact. A bit of blood drop on the screen and I realize the number of cut I have on my hands. It's a dream. All of it. I just need someone to tell me it's a dream. It HAS to be ! I scroll through different number.
Padmé is at her ceremony. Impossible to disturb her.
Ashoka. By now she should be sleeping peacefully. She has a test tomorrow morning, and she can't fail it. After a few warning, the Director said that she needs to straight up her note or else she wouldn't pass this year. I can't wake her up... She needs rest and she doesn't need to know my state while she tries to concentrate on her test tomorrow.
Obi-wan. As far as I know, he doesn't have something special tonight. With shaking hand, I enter his number and bring my phone to my ear.
A few beeps.
"Yes, hello ?"
My lips are sealed. Why ? I need to tell him ! I need to hear his soft voice ! I need him to tell me that I have just another nightmare !
"Hello ? Anakin ?" His voice repeats.
"Obi-wan..." My voice is hoarse and I can taste my own tears on my lips.
"Anakin ? Is everything alright ?"
No, it isn't. But before my heart could speak, my mind answered.
"Yes. Yeah... I-uhm... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you. Good night." NO ! You idiot ! Tell him !
"Ana-..!" I cut the call short. You stupid idiot ! Why did you hand the call ?! Because I'm afraid, afraid that if someone else knew, it will makes this goes real. I'm terrified that someone will tell me this isn't a dream, this is reality. I can't stand this thought, not yet.
I found myself against the cold floor, crawl up like a child. Because that who I am, right ? A child that can't take care of himself. I caught my hair and pull at them in either side of my head, trying desperately to control my sobbing. But soon enough, my eyes goes shut and sleep call me.
"Ani, are you crazy ?!"
"Don't worry Mom ! I'll be alright !" Anakin said while taking his helmet.
"No, no, no, you, Anakin Skywalker will not take this... death things while I'm here !" Shmi gestured to Anakin's friend's motto.
"It's just a motorbike Mom. I worked on this thing for like 4 years now !"
"That doesn't mean you know how to drive it ! Now, take your bike or go on foot." She crosses her arm at her chest, her voice full with worry.
"I'm not a child anymore and all my friends already had drive one ! It's not like a tank or something it's just a motorbike !" Anakin yelled, trying to escape of his mother protective ghost-grasp.
Shim sighed heavily but didn't argue more. She took a step forward and embraces her son in her arm. "Alright but... Please be careful. I can't loose you. You know that." She said. Anakin kissed her forehead.
"I'm always careful." He said with a smirk. "Don't worry, I'll see you for dinner okay ?"
"Okay. Oh and Ani...!"
"Yes ?"
"Anakin !" A firm voice responds. Startled by this sudden change, I woke up with a gasp, breathing like my lungs didn't had air for a few minutes.
"Hey hey ! It's alright, I'm here..." The same voice call. I could sense a hand on my back, helping me to sit straight. My vision came clear and I recognized the man kneeling before me.
"O-obi-wan...?" I didn't realize what mess I could possibly look like. My eyes puffy from crying, my cheeks still wet from tears and my entire body shaking. Wait, Obi-wan ? Didn't I just hang out a phone call with him ?
"That's me. Are you okay ? What happened ?" He rubbed a small comforting circle on my back and that did absolutely nothing to ease my mind ! A contrary, I felt more like a child than before. Against my need, I push his hand away and rise up.
"Nothing... I'm okay. You can go n-... Wait, how did you get here ?" I buried my feeling deep down, not wanting to snap before him. Small anger and confusion took place instead of sorrow and sadness.
"You called me an hour ago and you seem... I don't know, panicked. I tried to call Shmi, but her phone was off. That so unusual for her... So I decide to come here to discuss what was wrong, but I found you here sleeping on the floor. And the house is such a mess !" Kenobi shook his head, glancing around him.
At my mother name, my heart explodes. I couldn't restrain anymore and all my rage explodes in my chest. Who was he to think he could be here in their house like everything was normal ?! Nothing was normal ! And it would never be again ! The house is a mess eh ? A MESS ? I will show you what "mess" really mean !
I pushed Obi-wan strongly enough for him to collapse on the ground on his back. "Unusual for her eh ?!" I stood from my full height. "That's all you have to say, really ?!" I swung a chair across the room. "You didn't fucking think about what could be happening to her did you ?!" I shoot in one of the paintings already on the floor.
"Anakin-...!" Kenobi's eyes widen, his arm on his face, trying to protect himself from the object flying above him and crashing near him.
"Oh no, all you care is about your promise right ? I'm such a burden because of your fucking promise but hey, you don't need to worry about my mother right ?! That's not in the deal anyway !" Again, I threw our low table against the wall. "What a fucking looser !" My last sentence was not direct at him and he knows it. After my outburst, all my body start collapsing again on the floor. I lean my back against the wall, bring my knees to my chest and burry my head in my hands. Only my choking and sobbing could be heard in the room. Empreinte of my finger are print on my face with dry blood.
"She's dead Obi-wan..."
Strong arms envelope me and I lean in his touch, too tired to resist anyway. I grasp his col and burry my head in his chest, letting my tears soaking his shirt. I could feel one hand behind my head and another on my back.
"I-I'm sorry... It's okay to cry, it's okay..."
It's not.
"What am I gonna do Obi-wan..? I can't live without her !"
"Shh, shhh."
My body shook, I could take it anymore. I let my eyes shut and let a painful sleep carrying my mind away.
I wake up early, too early. I'm not on the floor anymore but on a soft mattress. I looked down and saw two tiny arms around my belly. Padmé... She let a tiny sigh escape her lips, brushing sweetly my hair on my neck. Her perfume invades my sense, her warmth smoothing my cold skin. I turn around and close the already little gap between us. I burry my head in the crook of her neck. I could sense her stirring in her sleep, waking up slowly by my movements. After a minute, her hand came caress my hair, her finger wrapping with my blond curls.
"Ani." She said softly, barely above a whisper. I take a deep breath. Her voice, her spirit, her body... it's all I need right now. But I can't let her see my face. I can't let her see me like the child I am, unable to stop his tears, unable to even stand by himself, unable to speak of what happened. So instead, I pull up the sheets more comfortably around us, like a cocoon and never let go of her.
"Ani, are you okay ?" No response.
"Ani... Talk to me please..."
I shook my head. "Just hold me." This is all I could think at the moment and God, did it felt good to have her in my arms.
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