Oh snap! I´m so, so sorry... I don´t even have a proper excuse for you guys. I guess time just got away from me or something. I´ll try my very best to update in a timelier matter, and yes… I know I have promised this before and this time I´m taking an even more demanding education. However, this time I have fever days where I have classes so on the non-classes days I have to read a bunch yes, but I suck a reading my homework so I figure I could use some of the time I should use on my homework, on making you guys a bit happier with me. Unless of course my waaay too long hiatus has made me even worse at writing, or you have forgotten all about me and my silly story.
Destiny or Fate?
Merlin was balancing Arthur's breakfast tray on her hip while she tried to keep the basket with his clean closes on top of her head, as she had found it easier to carry more that way. The thing with Uther´s ghost had hit Arthur hard, as he had hoped death would have made Uther´s heart, well maybe not softer, but he had hoped that his father could see that he was building a better kingdom for all. But he had been wrong.
As she rounded a corner she walked right into someone, who was walking the way she came from. She lost her balance and dropped the basket trying to save the tray. She managed to keep a hold on it with only one sausage falling to the ground, she glared at it and the great. Was the only thing she thought before a hand reached down, and started gathering the clothes in the basket.
She looked to see who she ran into even if she did not need it. She felt like she was swimming in a sea of love, magic and tenderness. Merlin felt the color rise in her cheeks and the tip of her ears burned.
"Merlin."
"Mordred."
She looked into his eyes she almost signed his name till she got a hold of herself and glared at him, she then bend down and sat the tray to the side and beginning to pick up the fallen clothes from all around her. Merlin silently cursed at herself for being caught up in his eyes, her mind flashed back to three nights ago when she had been pinned to the door by Uther.
Every time she closed her eyes she saw them naked and sweaty doing things she had been far too long without. At night she dreamed about him only to wake up a sweaty needing mess with her covers tangled in her legs. Going a bit needy around didn´t bother her as such, she had practice at that.
No what did bother her was the hunger she felt burning in her, a hunger to possess and be possessed in return. Now that she didn´t have practice at, which made her angry. Angry at him for being the object of her hunger, but mostly she was angry at herself. She should have better self-control than that!
"You should look where you are going! And I don´t need your help." She hissed at him while she pulled the clothes from his grasp, and practically threw them into the basket. She felt her burning cheeks and ears burn even more in embarrassment, not over the situation as such, but the fact that it was him who caused it. He was on her mind almost all the time as it were and she didn´t need him showing up and make it worse!
His eyes there a second before had been filled with tenderness and mirth, became hard and cold as he straightened up and looked down at her.
"You were the one who came barreling around the corner, not me, so maybe it´s you who need to watch where you are going."
She glared even harder at him and put the tray on top of the basket, rose up to her feet and stepped around him and went on her way.
"Leave me alone Mordred and stay out of my way."
She felt him in her head before she heard him but you don´t want me out of your way. You want me in your way, admit it. You want me against you, covering you. You want me Emrys.
She kept walking even as she answered him "No I don´t want you. You are just trying to play with me and I am not game, so I repeat: Leave me alone Mordred!"
It almost hurt to tell him such lies, but he weren't the only one she was trying to convince that she did in fact not want him. Her entire body was humming after being so close to him but not close enough. It felt like she would never be able to get close enough, she suspected that skin to skin wouldn't be close enough.
She knew she was lying through her teeth, but it wouldn't do for him to know just how much she did want him.
She felt his magic becoming violent not even a second before it hit her, and send her crashing to the ground with food and clothes in her arms so she could not soften the impact. Her cheek scraped against the ground. She felt through his magic him going from pissed off to shocked.
"NO! MERLIN!" She heard him come running but at the same time the door to Arthur´s chambers were flung open and the king ran out.
When he saw her on the floor like he ran up to her and asked.
"Merlin what happened? Never mind you were probably just your unusually clumsy self. Now get up from the floor and get me some new breakfast, which has not been on the ground. Sir Mordred what are you doing here? I send you to find Sir Leon for me.
"I apologize my lord. Merlin here ran into me before and fell; she actually was just moving along with her chores when she tripped. I´ll go find Sir Leon for you now." He bowed and turned to walk away without sparing Merlin a single glance.
It hurt that he didn't look at her to make sure she was alright, she had told him she would make an effort to be civil, to try and work towards to be friends she supposed. And here she were, taking her frustrations out on him. Just because she wanted him to think she didn't want him physically but that didn't mean that she wanted him to hate her.
"Mordred, I´m sorry. I´m not sleeping right at it makes me cranky." Merlin held her breath as she waited for Mordred to answer but no answer came. It was with a heart heavy with guilt and a cheek throbbing in pain that she got up of the floor and rubbed at her cheek. She needed to make things right with Mordred, but first she needed to get a hold of herself and her… needs.
"Merlin are you okay? First you fall down a flight of stairs and then you trip and bang your head just two days later. You really are an accident waiting to happen aren´t you? Well I´ll take the clothes into my room you just take the food back down. "
"Stairs? Oh yea, clumsy me. Haha. I´ll just go and get you some new breakfast shall I."
She gathered the food on the tray and turned and started to walk back the way she came from, as Arthur yelled after her.
"Merlin don´t trip again because you have chores to do and I can´t have you doing a worse job than normal."
She knew that was just his way of letting her know that he did not like seeing her hurt, so she thought nothing of it and got the new food from the cook, who was not happy about it as she pointed out to Arthur when she came back up with it.
"We are going on a patrol for the next week so you need to start packing. We leave at first light in the morning."
Arthur told her while he was eating his belated breakfast, Merlin was just happy there were no meetings this morning, because otherwise he would not have been happy to have to wait for his breakfast. And added the fact that it would give her more time to daydream about things she shouldn't.
At least it was in the morning they had to leave and not the same day. If Merlin had to be out on patrol with the knights for a week, she had some things she would have to take care of first.
Merlin was making her way through the empty hallways and couldn't help but be glad that she was not chasing down a ghost this time around. No, this time she was chasing something else. It was time to end her frustration. There was a stable boy named Eric who had shown some interest in her before, and she hadn't taken him up on his offer in years.
The last time they had been `together´, the term together was only used as she didn't know what else to call it. They hadn't been friends, actually she didn't even like him much but she hadn't gone to him looking for a friend. Merlin had put a stop to the whole thing, because he had started to demand thing of her.
He had wanted her to introduce him to her `knightly friends´. It hadn't to much been that he had wanted to know her friends, okay that had been a part of it too. He had started to act like he was better than her and that she should be grateful that he even wanted her.
Remembering why she had ended it made her flatter in her stride to his chamber. Was she really that desperate that she would go back to him? Merlin stopped with a frown to think for a second. After a few minutes she turned around to go back where she came from, because no, she was not THAT desperate. A good night´s sleep would hopefully quell most of her needs, if she took care of some of it herself before she fell asleep, she could handle being near Mordred for a week.
Merlin stood in the courtyard with hers and Arthurs horses and waited for the king while he said his goodbyes to the queen. Gaius had put her through another series of questions before he had let her go, since she apparently had not been able to fall, which in turn must have meant that he had missed something the first time.
She had not told him that it was Mordred who had made her fall, and she was not sure why, other than the fact that she was certain that it was not his intend to hurt her. Okay maybe it was for about a second, but his reaction told her that it had not been his intention.
She had waited all day the day before for him to answer her apology but none had come. She hoped she hadn't hurt him too bad with her crappy attitude. Today she felt both better and worse. She felt better because she had actually been able to sleep, not without dreams mind you, but she hadn't woken several time through the night.
She felt worse because she hadn't been able to get herself off by thinking of past lovers and what she had done with them. In the end she had given in to her desires and let her fantasy take over. Was there any harm done when she was alone in her bed, with one hand buried between her legs and the other on her breast? She didn't think so; it wasn't like anyone knew that she had whispered out his name in seconds as she came to the thought of him.
"I am the one who should apologize to you and not the other way around. I hope you weren't too hurt in my anger… did you have a nice sleep last night then? So I know if you are safe to talk to."
Merlin felt her insides heat up as his magic brushed up against hers, her pulse started to beat frantically at the soft caress it felt like. Merlin was sure her face was as bright red as a tomato because of the reason she was able to get a good night´s sleep. Mordred had somehow managed to sneak up behind her, Merlin jumped when he said hello out loud as he started petting the horse. Merlin kept her eyes firmly on the horse.
There was a teasing note to his question but Merlin brushed it of as him being in a good mood. She had seen him talking with Leon and Arthur earlier in the day, and he had seemed in good spirits. He had been all smiles and laughter and once again Merlin had a hard time believing that he would one day be the one to kill Arthur. It just didn't feel right to her, of course the very thought of anyone killing Arthur sat badly with her. However, the thought that Mordred would be the one to do it just felt… wrong somehow.
"I still should not have let my crappy mood get the best of me. Just a few bruises, nothing I haven't had more times than I can count."
"I still apologize. Did you have a nice sleep then?"
Merlin felt panic rise in her at the amused teasing quality in his voice. Did he know what she had done? No he couldn't, could he? No he was just in a good mood and it was contagious. Merlin gave a small laugh as she petted the horse and answered.
"I had a lovely laydown, thank you. How about you? Did you get some sleep or where you too excited for this trip? "
Being friendly with him was much easier when the conversation where in their heads and she didn't have to look at him and be reminded of her vision.
"I haven't slept that well in years, when I finally fell asleep, it was a bit hard to come by."
Merlin narrowed her eyes at the smug sound in his voice, what did he mean by that? She didn't have time to question him about why sleep had been hard to come by as an arm sneaked it´s way around her waist and pulled her into the side of a strong male body. She did not have to look to know that it was Gwaine, because not matter how much he bathed and scrubbed, the smell of ale hung onto him, of course it did not help matters that he drank it every day.
"Hey Merlin, my love, when are you going to settle down with me?" He asked while he kissed her on the cheek.
She turned and smiled at him with a little grin. Mordred´s magic started to feel… irritated she supposed would be the best way to describe it, but just as fast as it had flared up it just suddenly disappeared, like it was never there in the first place.
"If you will excuse me."
He suddenly said but Merlin managed to see the hurt, pain and slight irritation and oddly enough not a small amount of satisfaction, in his eyes before he turned away, and went over to Percival who had come out of the stables with his horse and stood by Mordred's own horse.
She kept looking at him with her head tilted a little to the side, and had almost forgotten about Gwaine who still had an arm around her waist, while she kept thinking to herself that he sure was an odd person – she was NOT looking at his backside in appreciation, no not at all.
"He likes you. Mordred I mean. He likes you." He gave her a slight fright but she tried not to show it. She turned to him and knew she that failed as he had a smirk on his face. She blushed a bit and looked away.
"I don't know what you are talking about." She answered while she cursed her traitorous cheeks and ears, and her braid which showed of her flaming ears.
Gwaine just laughed at her. Five years ago it might have been a forced laugh, since back then he really did have a thing for her, but it had passed with time as he accepted he just wasn't her type.
Or as she had told him: he would never be happy with her. She was messy, she was always around guys so she had no clue how a girl should be. She would never let him sleep around, she would cut it off if that were to happen.
In the end he gave up on the idea of a romantic relationship with her, and had instead decided that no guy was allowed near her. Which had only made it all the more fun to see when he tried to figure out who had left love bites on her neck. He never found out of course, but it wasn't for lack of trying. The only guys who was allowed to hug her was the knights in their tight little group, because there was really nothing he could say about it. That did not mean he had to like it, but he accepted it.
"Well I think you do, but no matter. I know you Merlin. You like him too, but for some reason you don´t seem to want to like him. Like you don't trust him. Look, I know that I have a… tendency… to keep guys from you – or I try at least, but that is just as much because you have never shown special interest in them. But I have seen the way you look at the young Mordred, and I have seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one I watching. Give him a change."
She just stared at him with big eyes and her mouth a little open.
"What? I notice things!"
She started laughing but stopped when she felt an unintentional flare of irritation from Mordred.
"Even if he likes me, and if, and I'm not saying I do, but even if I did like him there could never be anything there. You are right, I don't trust him, as such. I am not going to tell you why, so don´t bother asking. I just can´t… No I can´t risk falling for him only for it to turn out that I was right about him. Don't ask okay?"
Gwaine just smiled an amused and confused smile, and gave her a one armed hug.
"Fine I will not ask. But I want you to think about something. You are hurting him, he knows you like him, just like you know that he likes you. But you are kind of mean to him. I mean, you don't trust him for something that you fear that he is going to do. But what if your love were the thing that could stop what it is that you fear? Think about that."
He left her standing there frowning after him while he went over to his horse and got up on it, Merlin frowned for a moment before calling after him. "Who said anything about love?" He just laughed, shook his head and turned to the king and queen who still stood on the stairs holding hands with their foreheads pressed together.
"Come on princess, we are ready to go." He yelled at Arthur, who in turn scrolled at him but never the less shared a last brief kiss with Gwen before going to Merlin and taking the reins to his horse and got up at the same time as her.
They rode out of the town in a slow tempo, but Merlin noticed none of it because she was buried in her thoughts.
Could Gwaine be right? Could her love – not that she had that kind of feelings for him, he had only been at Camelot a little over a month - save Mordred and in turn save Arthur from dying at his hands? Could she risk it? Could she risk her heart like that? Was it even possible? She had tried to change the future before and that had been the course of that future.
She spend the rest of the day talking very little, which made Arthur poke fun at her but she barely reacted. When Arthur mentioned it to the other knights, Gwaine had told him that it was nothing to worry about, as she just had a female problem she was working out.
As they made camp for the night Merlin still had not found any answers to her questions, so she decided to sneak out during the night to get answers from someone who knew more about destiny then she did.
When all the knights had gone to sleep other than Gwaine, who happened to have guard duty, was fast asleep in their bedrolls Merlin snuck out of hers and away from the camp in the light of the moon.
She had walked for maybe half an hour when she found a clearing just big enough for her purpose, she took a deep breath, leaned her head back so she faced the dark sky above and roared.
"O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"
She sat down at the edge of the clearing and waited. She did not have to wait long before she could hear the sound of big wings coming nearer.
She got up from where she was sitting and looked up to where she could see the silhouette of The Great Dragon, her eyes followed hi, on his descent till he landed in the clearing.
"Young witch. What troubles you? I have been able to feel your mind racing all day, I was on my way here before you called on me. What has distraught you so?"
His big yellow eyes looked at her with what she would have called concern, but she had not called him to talk about feelings. So she got right to the point.
"I have questions." She just told him.
Killgarrah signed and laid down as he could feel it were not a social call.
"Go on then."
"What is the difference between destiny and fate?"
She looked at him with a serious look in her eyes so he knew she was not kidding, but really needed to know.
The dragon tilted his head to the side and studied her for a minute.
"Why do you need to know?"
She glared at him.
"Just answer the question, would you?"
"Fine. Fate is unchangeable, it does not matter what happens. It´s impossible to the do anything about it. Dest…"
"Wait, wait, wait… You said once that Morgana was fated to become evil. So nothing I could have done would have changed it?"
"No, she was fated for evil. Now back to the question at hand. Destinies can change but it rarely happens."
She started to feel hope blossom in her chest. Maybe she could save them. "And Arthur? Is he fated or destined to die at Mordred´s hand?" Her questions were barely audible as she more breathed them rather than asking them.
Killgarrah looked closely at her, then at the stars for a minute or so before he looked back at her.
"He was never fated to die at the druid boy's hand. It has always been destined to happen, but it looks like things may be changing. What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. Arthur did. He made Mordred a knight of Camelot."
"He did what? And you let him?" Killgarrah roared at her.
She slapped her hands over her ears and glared at him. "Would you lower the volume please! I did not let him do anything, he does as he wants too most of the time, and you yourself just said that things are changing."
She pointed out to him. "It does not matter what I said. You must to kill the druid boy before he kills Arthur."
She marched up to him with a hand on her hip and pointed a finger at him with the other hand and started screaming at him.
"I am not going to kill Mordred just because you say so you big lizard! Things are changing and that is it!" Merlin puffed of her breath and felt lightheaded at the new information. Killgarrah sat up and stared at her in realization.
"You like him."
"That is neither here nor there. You are really starting to get on my nerves. As always, I might add." She hissed at him.
"Okay, young dragon lady. I will keep my opinion to myself. You need to get back to the king anyway. Till next time Merlin." He said as he rose into the sky and flew away. She looked after him for a minute, while she had to fight the urge to scream. Both because Killgarrah always was so damn frustrating, but also because she felt hopeful. Hopeful that she would be able to save her friends, and maybe feel a little less bad about wanting Mordred. Not that she was going to give in to her desires. Nope that was not the plan.
She turned back the way the camp was only to stop dead in her tracks. "I thought it was called a dragon lord. And that is was always lord not lady."
"Oh no…"
"Was that the dragon that Arthur is always bragging about having killed? It did not look very dead to me. And not quite as big as he has let on, even though that was a mighty big dragon!"
Merlin stood there and had no idea what she was supposed to say or even do. "G-Gwaine? W-What are yo… Ehm… You doing here?" Her earlier joy had pummeled to earth at being discovered, she would lose everything! All her friends, her home, her freaking destiny!
"I mean, I knew you had magic, but a Dragon lo-lady I mean lady. That means your father was a dragon lord since your mother is still alive doesn't it?" Gwaine asked excitedly while wearing a big smile on his face Merlin could barely see in the dark but had no problem hearing in his voice.
How could he just stand there as though nothing had happened? As though he hadn't just seen her having a conversation with a… wait… hold on, did he just say. "Wait… What do you mean you knew?" She stared dumbfounded at him. Was he not mad? Scared of her?
"Of course I knew. How could I not? You are not very subtle you know. And as for what I am doing here… well I saw you sneaking out of the camp, so I woke up Percival to take over watch to I could follow you and make sure you did not get into trouble. But now you have to answer something while we make our way back to the camp."
Oh no. This was it. He was going to ask a million questions about thing like: was she evil? Did she want to harm Arthur? And so on.
They had started going back to the camp when he asked the one question she did not know the answer to.
"So what are you going to do about Mordred? I mean it sounded like you had good reason to not trust him, the dragon…" "Killgarrah." "What?" "That´s his name, not the dragon." Merlin said confused, because this was not going the way she had foreseen it going.
"Okay then. That Killgarrah said that the destinies are changing. So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Don't look at me like that. I just don't know okay. He may have said that Mordred might not kill Arthur, but can I really risk it? It would not only be my heart on the line, but also Arthur´s life, the whole of Camelot. Dare I risk it all for the sake of being with him?"
It never even crossed her mind that she actually said in a roundabout way that she wanted to be with him. They had stopped walking while she talked, and Gwaine stood leaned up against a tree, while she stood in front of him looking at her feet.
"But what if being with you could be the driving force for him to not turn down the wrong path?" Gwaine asked seriously. She gave a small yarn while she thought about it but was still not any closer to an answer.
"I have to think about it okay. Let's just go back to the camp and get some sleep, maybe things will be more clear after… well it´ll only be a few short hours of sleep. One more thing before we go back. We are okay, aren't we?"
She looked nervously at him from under her black hair that for once was not tied back, so it hung around her thin frame to the small of her back, some of it hung in front of her face as she looked at the ground while they walked. They seemed okay and it didn't seem like he had anything against her having magic but she had to ask. She loved him and didn't want to lose him as a close friend and surrogate brother.
"Why would we not be okay? Like I said, I knew you had magic. At first I was a little nervous, I'll admit but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it did not matter, because you are still Merlin. So yeah, of course we are fine." He said while giving her a reassuring smile.
Merlin was so happy by what he said, that she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her to. They just stood there for a moment. "But if that druid hurts you I´ll kill him myself." He mumbled in her hair. Merlin gave a small giggle before suddenly jumping back with a guilty look on her face and looked around and frowned.
She could have sworn she felt something. A bit of anger, hurt and resignation, but there was nothing so she brushed it off. Gwaine looked curiously at her but she just shook her head at him and started walking again.
They were back in the camp in no time at all it seemed like to Merlin, they nodded at Sir Leon who was on watch duty. He raised his eyebrows at them but said nothing as they went pass him to their bedrolls. Gwaine whispered goodnight and she did the same as she lay down.
She lay on her side with an arm under her head as a pillow, and in front of her lay Mordred. When she had rolled her bedroll out she had been so lost in her thoughts, that she had not noticed were he put his. She just laid there looking at the back of his head as he slept.
She reached carefully out and was just able to run her fingertips through the back of his hair. It was so soft to the touch, and all she could think about was the possibility of doing that on a regular base. To get to run her hands through it while they kissed, but the question remained. Did she dare risk it all?
She signed while she pulled her hand back under the blanket, she had over the bedroll since it was cold at night. She whispered into the dark forest night.
"I wish I knew what I am going to do about you. Sweet dreams Mordred." She closed her eyes and fell asleep quite quickly.
Mordred lay tense as Merlin and Gwaine whispered their goodnight before laying down, thankfully not together. He had been out in the forest to relieve himself when he had heard voices in the dark, and decided to follow them as both Merlin and Gwaine had been missing from their bedrolls.
He was just able to make their forms out in the dark, and saw Merlin throw herself in the arms of the other knight. Red hot jealousy raced through him as he watched them standing there in their own little world. Oh how he hated Gwaine in that moment.
Merlin jumped back from the other knight and looked around. He didn't think she saw him so he turned and ran as silently back to camp and his bedroll as he could. He had only just had time to lay down before they returned.
He could hear Merlin getting ready for sleep. For a short while it was quiet before he heard her move to get more comfortable, but instead he felt fingers grace the back of his head and a magical longing being projected from Merlin.
"I wish I knew what I am going to do about you. Sweet dreams Mordred."
Mordred held his breath as her fingers glided through his heir. What was she doing? Not that he was opposed to it, it felt nice and he whished for her to keep on doing it. But what about Gwaine? Wasn't she just out in the forest and doing, well gods know what?
He listened to her fall asleep and turned over so he could watch her in the light from the fire. Her forehead had a small frown as though she was trying to figure something out. Probably what `to do about him´, whatever that meant. He knew what he wanted her to do, and he knew she wanted it too. She had wanted him last night he knew.
He had been tossing and turning in bed trying to sleep when he was hit with a wave of lust so big he could barely breathe… it had only lasted a moment before he had heard her whimper his name in his mind. It had taken all of his self-control to not hunt her down and take her. In the end he himself had come with her name on his lips.
Her lips, oh how he wanted to just lean over the short space between them and claim those lips. But he had made a promise not to touch her until she asked for it and if she were with Gwaine… well he would just have to make her realize that it would never work, he would have to figure out the how in the moring. With that thought he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
When she woke a couple of hours later, she was a little disorientated since she was fairly sure that she was on a routine patrol with the knights, but then why was she not more cold considering that it was only spring?
She figured that it didn´t matter because she was nicely warm, so she buried deeper into the warmth behind her. She froze and her eyes sprang wide open, when she felt the warmth behind her pulling her closer and groaning into her neck.
There was a hand on her stomach under her blouse, when she was on patrol she rarely wore dresses as they were constricting when running around saving Arthurs life. Not to mention all the things it got caught in. What really made her eyes go wide and her breath hitch in her throat was the fact that against her bum, she could feel a hard length.
She took a deep breath and instantly who was holding her so close, and made her feel safe for maybe the first time in years. Her nose was filled with the smell of the wet forest on a summer´s night and of something uniquely masculine.
Her mind quickly supplied her with the information that it was Mordred, so she pushed away a little and turned over to look at him. His eyelashes rested on his cheeks and there was a little smile playing on his lips. She just laid there, and watched him for a few minutes while she wondered how they had ended up like that, before she had to get up, and make some breakfast for a bunch of hungry knights.
She sighed and got up to start the cooking. It really was easier said than done, every time she tried to moved his arm without waking him he would mumble something she couldn't understand, followed by tighten his grip around her. In the end she succeeded and got up to look at her captor. A frown had appeared on his forehead as his hand felt around like it was looking for her in his sleep. It was kind of sweet she decided with a smile.
She was almost done making the food when the knights started to get up and move over to sit by the fire after they had one by one been in the forest to relieve themselves.
She kept a close eye on Mordred, but for a different reason than the last time they were in the forest together. This time it was to see him interact with the other knights, it seemed he had bonded with the big and friendly Percival. Good for him she thought as Killgarrah´s words rang through her head. Things were changing…
He smiled at laughed with him but it seemed like he was sad about something, but she could not put her finger on it. It could also just be that it was the first time he was out on a patrol, so maybe it was just because he wanted to prove himself to the king and the others and she just misread him.
He kept away from her and it seemed like he did everything in his power to not look at her at all. She felt a little like she did not exist in his eyes all of the sudden, and she did not like it one bit. Here she was in her whole little world thinking about things she hadn't believed possible just the day before. He also kept glaring at Gwaine which she did not understand, because from what she had seen in the last couple of weeks they had gotten on quite well. So what had changed for him?
Gwaine kept looking between her and Mordred with a frown, and kept looking at her in a way that made her know that he wanted her to talk to him. They had been on the road for a couple of hours when Gwaine rode on the side of her, and asked her to fall back a little with him. As they did Mordred glared at Gwaine with hatred, and Merlin frowned yet again.
"Well are you going to talk to him?" He asked her curiously. "No I don't think so. It seems like he has something on his mind, it might just be the fact that it is his first real patrol, but I can´t shake the feeling that something is wrong with him."
"All the more reason, for you to talk to him if I understood it right last night, he is a druid right? I didn't think to ask last night I just assumed." She nodded at him.
"Then you should be able to talk to him, since you are almost the same."
Merlin felt bitterness fill her, no they were not the same. He might have magic and a great deal of it, and he might want to help her and whatnot, but the fact still stood. She was alone. "We are not the same. There is no one like me." With that she kicked her horse forward till she was up at Arthur´s side yet again. Nothing happened all day, they just rode and talked. And Mordred did not once look at her.
They made camp near a lake for the night that afternoon, Merlin started making the campfire while most of the knights went out to hunt. It was just her, Gwaine and Percival who were left behind. She got left because Arthur was sure, she would scare the animals away. He was probably right.
Percival came up to her while Gwaine were gathering more wood. "Mordred really likes you Merlin. What happened yesterday? He has seemed so happy even if not a little sad you wouldn't talk to him, but the way he looked at you… But something has happened. He seems almost angry today."
"I know that he likes me, and I like him to. And I don't know had happened, I have noticed he is angry but I don't know why." He got up and laid a hand on her shoulder just as the knights came back with a deer. "Just make it right okay?"
He went over to sit with the others while she was left with a dead deer to skin and cook. Oh the joy. Skinning an animal was so messy, she absolutely hated it but it was what she was there for. What was up with her friends playing matchmakers all of the sudden? Normally if any guy looked at her they were ready to skin them alive.
The dark fell as she walked to the lake to wash their plates, the moon cast a silvery glow throughout the forest. She stepped around the trees only to back fast up again, and hid behind the trees and looked around them, to the bare chested man standing at the lake shore washing of the last couple of days sweat.
In the moonlight she could see droplets of water rolling down his back and stopping at his trousers, as the fabric absorbed the water. He was beautiful to watch, out here in the nature like he belonged out here. In a sense he did she supposed.
She could feel her cheeks heat up just by watching him. Her mouth fell a bit open and her tongue ran across her lip to wet it, as her eyes followed the waters path down his body. She was going to have new material to imagine the next time she fantasized about him.
Her eyes went unfocused as her mind went off in Mordred-lala-land, so she missed him leaving the lake and disappear back towards the campsite.
She snapped herself out of it only to frown because he was gone. She sighed and was just about to go to the lake when she was pulled up against a strong body. This is starting to look like habit of today she thought.
"Why were you watching me?" Mordred hissed in her ear, as he had his arms around her middle and pinned her arms to her sides. Merlin licked her lips. "Who said I was watching you? I could have just come now?" He laughed a throaty low laugh that she felt in her entire body by their close proximity. This was really not the times to get aroused Merlin told herself even though she knew it was a lost cause.
"I felt you the moment you got nearer. That is the beauty of all that power swimming inside of you. If one know what to feel for, you cannot hide. I will ask one more time. Why were you watching me Emrys?" He said in a tone Merlin could only call a purr, she felt her knees go weak and was grateful for his arms around her. Without them she was sure she would be a Merlin shaped puddle on the forest floor.
She cursed herself for forgetting that little tidbit of information and breathed out. "Okay so I was watching you. I… well I…"
"Want me. Is that it? I know you want me. I can feel your magic screaming for me. And more than that." He pulled her hair from its binding, and pushed it to one side, his fingers brushed her neck as he did so. She reacted without thinking by sinking into his touch, wanting more, needing more.
His lips brushed her neck in a kiss, which made her skin tingle in pleasure. For a second she was hit by the thought that he had promised not to touch her unless she asked, but right what moment she really couldn't care less.
"The way you react to me, I love it. The way you seek my touch is glorious. Do Gwaine know how you react to me? Does he know how much you want me? Does he know how much you want to feel me against you? In you?"
He whispered in her ear, while his hands were busy caressing her body in ways that were driving her insane. She barely heard that he said but it slowly sank in. "Gwaine? What are you talking abou…? Oh yes..." One of his hands had moved under her shirt and was moving along her ribcage to her breast, only to go across to her other side.
"I know you are with him. You were just playing me in that corridor. Letting me think I stood a chance with you, even though you already have a man at your side. I saw you in the woods last night, I decided to leave you alone, until I could convince you that you two would never work but then you come here. Didn't even have the decency to turn back or to let me know you were there, no you just stood and watched."
She pressed her bottom against him and moved it in a small circle, which made him groan into her neck and hold her tighter. "I´m not with Gwaine, he just told me something that made me happy. So I hugged him. I didn't play you Mordred." She managed to pant out between breaths. She rubbed her legs together to try and rid herself from some of the ache she felt.
He pulled his hand from under her shirt where it had just started caressing the underside of her breast, she moaned in protest as he removed it from her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to face him, and looked in her eyes like he was looking for something.
"You are not with him?" he asked with wild eyes. "No I am not. Free as a bird me." Merlin watched his eyes as they darted between her eyes and her mouth. Her tongue ran across her lower lip to moisten it before she bit it. "Ask me Emrys. Ask me to touch you before I break my word even more." He groaned out as his eyes were fixed on her lips.
"Mordred, just shut up and kiss me." She barely had time to finish her sentence before his mouth was on hers, kissing her like a man starved. She was pushed against a tree behind her but she barely noticed it, as she was too busy running her hands through his hair and trying to pull him closer.
All her thoughts about destinies and fate had left her head when she saw him by the lake, now all there was in her head had one more time been reduced to the thought of Mordred and the feel of him against her, his hands on her. Her magic sang with joy at being so close to his again. It was pulsing through her and scorching her veins in what felt like liquid fire. She had no idea how or when it happened but suddenly his hand was on her breast under her shirt, she ached for more.
One of her hands had somehow sneaked between them and were rubbing up and down his build abdomen and chest, that were still bare, she almost purred in female satisfaction as he was the one to ache into her touch.
Her hand pushed down to the front of his pants and cupped him though the fabric of his trousers, he bit down on her lower lip and drew a little blood which made her hiss in momentarily pain. He licked the blood of and kissed and mumbled out an apology before biting her neck gently.
She had never thought of pain as pleasurable, but this was pure heaven and hell. She ached to feel him, so she let go of him even as he voiced his displeasure. She pushed him back a little and started to untie the strings holding his trousers up, when she got them open she wasted no time pushing a hand down to grab him. He hissed in pleasure and bucked into her hand.
He was smooth in her grip, he felt perfect not too long and not to thick, but he still felt as though she would be able to feel him for hours after sex. She could almost imagine having him in her, and felt her insides contract in anticipation.
"Emrys… touch me… harder… oh yes… that's it… rub me… I need you." Hearing him in her head in an intimate moment like this, she could not even begin to explain how it felt. His hands pushed her shirt up over her breasts and he bend down to kiss and nibble on them. When he sucked a nipple into his mouth she almost screamed at the pleasure/pain his teeth brought, as they scrapped over it.
He repeated the process on her other breast, as her hand started to work him faster. Oh by the gods how she needed him. He sneaked a hand between her legs and her knees would have given out on her if not for the tree behind her and his body at her front.
He must have felt it for suddenly he was lowering her to the ground and covering her body with his own. It felt so good to have him over her, the way he fit between her legs even with their hands in the way.
He grabbed both her hands in his and pulled them over her head to hold them there, he then pressed his clothed cock against her aching core and started rocking back and forth. Merlin could feel her climax nearing with an alarming speed but she didn't care, she wanted it so badly.
She moaned in time with his groans, while their tongues rubbed in time with their bodies. She could almost taste her orgasm when there was a sound in the forest. Mordred froze all movement and before she had time to blink he was gone.
Merlin found herself laying alone and frustrated beyond belief on the forest floor when the sound came again. She groaned and got up on her feet, she strained her ears and scrolled. She knew that sound and it was in no way welcome at this particularly moment, so she grabbed the plates that she had dropped at some point, she went to the water edge and had just started cleaning them when Gwaine came out of the forest.
"So Merlin… You have been gone quite a while. What have you been up to?" He asked with an annoying smirk on his face. "If you must know I laid down and watched the stars for a bit." His smirk only grew bigger at that. Oh he knew, she would bet her scarf on it, and did she love her scarf.
"Is that also why you look like you have been kissed like there was no tomorrow? And your clothes are in disarray? You may want to do something about that before you come back to the camp. And maybe do something about fixing that frustration." He added as she threw a spoon at him barely missing his head.
She could feel her face heating up and muttered to him to shut up and help her instead. When they came back to the camp she looked almost presentable but not quite so Arthur had a good laugh about her falling, she did not tell him differently. She locked eyes with a frowning Mordred who sat by the campfire.
He glared at Gwaine´s arm that were around her waist again, but she just smiled a little smile at him. "Relax Mordred, it´s just his arm. And what was that running away back there?" He just smiled back at her and turned back to his conversation with Percival, who smiled an approving smile at her when he looked from Mordred to her.
When they rolled out their bedrolls Mordred´s were by hers again but a little closer this time. Merlin smiled a little smile at that as she made ready for bed. Gwaine looked over at them and smiled while waggling his eyebrows at her. She gave him the only answer she could. She wrinkled her nose while she stuck her tongue out at him.
When everybody had fallen asleep other than Merlin, Mordred and Sir Bors who was on watch duty Merlin felt a hand go around her midsection and pulling her back into the embrace of Mordred´s arms. She turned her head and gave him a small kiss before snuggling in close and closing her eyes.
"It was just a little payback. You made me so frustrated last time, not to mention how you projected the last night at the castle, it took everything I had not to hunt you down."
She smiled a lazy smile half into sleep, before her eyes opened wide and she stared at him in horror. He had felt that! Oh gods that was modifying! He chuckled at her and Merlin gave a small glare. She felt him kiss her forehead. "Next time Emrys. Come and find me, or I will find you!"
Merlin felt a shiver go down her back at the obvious invitation. Face bright red she gave a small nod before whispering a low goodnight just as she for the first time fell asleep in his arms wishing for more nights in his arms.
It has only been read over by me so the mistakes are all my own.