This is an AU I wrote for Inspired by OQ week. willow1411 made this beautiful manip and I wrote this one shot for it.
The door slams shut behind them, another abstract sound that only briefly interrupts the silence Robin and Regina have had upon them for the past 45 minutes.
She kicks her heels off, her stocking feet hitting the sandpaper like carpet. She strides to the bed and lays on her side, staring at the evacuation sign that hangs on the door. He stands by the desk, setting his keys down. Robin simply takes in his wife as she lays there, her face devoid of any emotion. He's always said she was hard to read, but he enjoyed getting to figure out what was beneath the pages.
Now, he just wishes she would show how she felt. It'd make the whole thing so much easier.
His phone buzzes and he fishes it from his pocket. A text from Will, asking something about the delivery that's due in the morning. Robin doesn't respond, knowing his employee will text John when he doesn't hear back. Normally, Robin would love to throw himself into the bar. It's his baby. Now, he can't help but think about the one they just lost.
Can you really lose something that wasn't yours to begin with?
Robin makes his way over to the bed and sits on the edge. Regina doesn't attempt to move. Her eyes stay forward while his remain on her. His own heart has been ripped into a million pieces but he can't even imagine what she's going through.
"Who was that?" It's the first words Regina's spoken since they left the hospital and they catch Robin off guard.
"Will. We have a beer delivery coming tomorrow and he wanted to know what time it was. He'll figure out to call John. Or, John will text him first since we all know Will is late for everything."
The jab about his friend and her annoyance doesn't make her smile. Instead, she simply nods, her curls getting smushed against the pillowcase. "You're right."
Robin itches at his neck. He's always hated turtlenecks, but Regina picked it out. Not only was their baby going to have the perfect coming home outfit, they would too. Now that onesie sits at the bottom of a diaper bag that will never be used and they're stuck in clothes that cling too close, stiffen when you move and require tight belts to wear.
"How are we going to tell people?" Regina whispers. Her voice is soft, broken. Robin bites his lip, he hates seeing her so vulnerable.
"The truth."
"They're going to feel sorry for us, Robin. You know I hate pity."
Robin nods. He's seen the way she rolls her eyes whenever someone tries to show an ounce of sympathy for their situation. Regina doesn't wallow in self-pity and she's not going to expect anyone else to do the same.
"They're not the ones going through it, we are," she always used to tell them.
For the past 3 months, Regina has been nothing but happy. Not a frown to be seen. She's been too busy for that. Now, it's back and Robin isn't sure how long it'll stay.
His phone buzzes again. This time, it's Wendy.
I know the counsellor did all the talking, but I need to say I never meant to string you guys along…
Robin doesn't finish reading it. He knows Wendy didn't. He isn't even mad at her. But he doesn't have time to soothe her emotions, not when he has a heartbroken wife in front of him.
The journey to adoption began a year ago, preceded by 2 years trying to conceive. There had been home studies and paperwork, so, so much paperwork. After that came the meetings. So many girls saw their profile and showed interest, but ultimately chose another couple. Wendy had been the first one to actually give them the news that they were going to be parents.
She lived six hours away, in a bigger city than Storybrooke. The day before her induction, Regina and Robin drove down. They checked into a beautiful hotel room, big enough to fit the bassinet they had brought along. The two anxiously paced the waiting room as Wendy gave birth with her brothers by her side. Then, they were called back to the nursery where they met the most beautiful baby girl they had ever seen.
Regina held her first and the moment that baby entered her arms, her eyes lit up with love. Robin knew that she was going to be a great mother.
They spent the next 48 hours practically living in the hospital, only going back to the hotel to sleep when Wendy would ask to spend time with her. They arrived at the hospital this morning, ready to sign the paperwork that would make her theirs.
When they entered the maternity wing, they were greeted by their adoption counsellor. Her face was glum and Robin had a sinking feeling in his gut.
"She changed her mind."
Just as "I choose you guys" had changed their lives, those four words did the same. Robin asked a few questions, mainly if it had been anything they did. Regina was stoic, no words escaping her lips. One minute, she had been buzzing about the baby and the next, it was like a switch had flipped.
"I wonder what Wendy will name her," Regina says.
"She'll always be Rhiannon to me," Robin murmurs.
Regina slowly rolls over to face him. Her eyes are bloodshot, a sign of the silent crying she did as soon as they climbed into their Honda. A few weeks after they got matched with Wendy, Regina sold her Mercedes and got what she affectionately named a "mom car". Robin tries not to think of all the baby stuff that's crammed into the trunk. He couldn't stop looking at the empty car seat the whole way back to the motel.
He's stricken by the thought of the lavender nursery that awaits them back home. Regina decorated it with the help of her step-sister not long after the shower that Mary Margaret insisted on throwing. He doesn't know how they'll enter that room ever again.
"I try to keep thinking of the last time we saw her," Regina says. "I'm afraid I'll forget her."
"We have pictures."
"It's not the same. The pictures don't let me feel her warm little body snuggling up against mine. They don't have the sent of her head." Regina bites her lip. "I know she was never ours, Robin, but I loved her so much."
"I know you did," his voice comes out hoarse. "I did too."
Neither have to say it but they don't blame Wendy. They knew that going in, the mother could change her mind. The agency drills it into you over and over again. They spoke to people it had happened to. Robin knows that Regina prepared for it, before they even met Wendy.
But once it happens, it hurts more than you can ever imagine. Robin knows that deep down, his wife is happy that the baby will grow up with a great mother and two amazing uncles that will help her through it. It doesn't make their own pain hurt any less.
"I think we should tell Mary Margaret," Regina changes the subject so fast, that Robin almost gets whiplash. "She's got a big mouth and it'll be around Storybrooke before we get back. That way we won't have to tell everyone ourselves."
Robin nods. "That makes sense." Regina spins her wedding band around her finger. "Are you hungry? We've barely eaten these past few days."
"I don't think I can get back in that car again and see that baby seat. I'm glad we were barely here enough to set up the bassinet," Regina replies, her eyes tired. "Can we just lay here for a minute?"
Robin doesn't say a word. He simply kicks off his loafers and removes his jacket, laying beside her. He doesn't touch her, knowing that she needs her space. The two lay there in silence for a half hour, allowing their minds to be consumed by their own thoughts. Eventually, she rolls over, so her head lays on his chest.
His phone buzzes yet again, but he ignores it this time. Right now, he needs the silence and his wife.