auch only two rewievs for the last chapter. Rewievs makes me feel bad at not writing, so rewievs makes me write people.
Don't know until we know
Merlin rolled over under her blanket and got a face full of hay, as her and most of the knights were given the hayloft to sleep at. Arthur had of cause as the king been given a room in the main house, and had without any thought to her said thank you. So now she had to walk all the way over there. As she got up and stretched her body and robbing the sleep from her eyes, she felt sore in places she hadn't been sore at for years. Her eyes sought out Mordred's form in the dark, she could see in the way he held his shoulders that he was awake but kept his back to her.
Merlin sighed and moved to the ladder which provided access to the stable beneath, when she was down she started pulling hay from her hair as she made her way outside. Her thoughts went back to late last night and how it had ended. She knew she should regret it, and some of her did, but the largest part of her only wanted to remember the sounds he made, the way he had kissed and touched her, and felt. Merlin shuddered at the pleasurable memories before her mind trailed further into the night. The kiss they had shared after. It had been full of pain and sorrow, a kiss goodbye between lovers who knew they might never get another chance.
When he had pulled out she had winced at the empty feeling he left behind, and a little at the cold wet trail he left on her thigh. He had then proceeded to kiss her cheek and whisper a thank you for choosing me tonight, before he dressed and disappeared in the dark of the night. Merlin gave a sad smile as she robbed her cheek before giving a slight knock on the door in front of her. She opened it was met by the sight of a fully clothed Arthur who was talking to Leon in low tunes, they both looked over as she entered but upon seeing who it was turned to each other again.
From what she was able to gather they would be spending another day at farmer Edgar, because Arthur thought he was a bit to shifty when they were talking last night. Merlin groaned loudly at that thought, another day for Brian to try and corner her. Both men turned to her. Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but closed it as his eyes zoomed in on her throat. Merlin narrowed her eyes at them, because really, you'd think she looked ridiculous without a scarf as much as they were staring.
"I didn't think he got that much time." Arthur remarked with a frown at her. "what do you mean?" Merlin asked tiredly. She really hadn't gotten enough sleep to try and figure out what he meant. "your neck has quite a few…. Love bites attached to it. I didn't think you liked Brian all that much, but maybe that's changed?" Merlin had no idea how to respond so she just mumbled about letting their host know of his plans before fleeing the room.
'he left love bites behind! That's not fair, now I'll have to explain that to the guys..' Merlin stopped shortly to leave the message to a servant who kept looking at her neck in disgust, before nodding saying he'd let Edgar know. From there she walked, she refused to call it that she ran, to the stables to retrieve her scarf to cover up her incriminating throat. As she walked, very much not raced, in through the door she smacked into a hard chest. "Merlin. You are in a hurry." Merlin threw a big smile at Percival as she ducked around him and Elyan and made for the ladder. "you know me, I always have places to be, people to see and so on."
Merlin ducked her head when she saw Percival's eyes at her throat before they widened a little bit. His gaze lifted to hers as a smile, or a smirk, Merlin weren't sure witch it were, that was until he opened his big stupid mouth again. " while you are up there, could you wake Mordred for me? He didn't come back until very late." Merlin felt her face and neck burn in embarrassment but nodded, before starting the climb up to the hayloft.
She took a deep breath just before her head poked over the edge, and heard a chuckle under her right before she heard the guys leave out the door. Merlin felt her stomach flutter in unease as her eyes found Mordred's form in the slightly darkened loft. Merlin bit her lip as she moved closer to his lightly snoring form, and she felt her cheeks burn even hotter than before she shook her head as if to clear it. As she reached out to place her hand on his shoulder, she felt his magic flare up around her and felt what she could only describe as a pull on her magic itself "Merlin ".
Merlin saw herself with her head thrown back in pleasure, and thought for a second that he was dreaming of last night, that was until she noticed she seemed to be laying on a bed. Merlin pulled her hand back in shock and stared at it before her eyes found Mordred's face. Was he really so powerful in mind magic that he had pulled her into his dreams, all the while he was sleeping! Then she realized what he was dreaming and had to wonder how her face could possibly get any hotter.
"Mordred. Wake up. Mordred." The only response she got was a moan blended with her name. Merlin felt irritation creep up on her, because he dared to moan her name like that! And, and, and be all cute and all. It really weren't fair doing that to her. Here she was, getting all flustered and hot all over. That was not suppose to happen, she was supposed to have him out of her system now.
Merlin barely registered that his breathing changed as he woke up. "Mer… Emrys? What are you doing?" Merlin thought it a bit weird how he changed her name from Merlin to Emrys like that, because he had taken to just about only calling her Merlin. At the beginning it had been mostly Emrys and rarely Merlin. She shook it of as she answered him, "you need to wake up Percival said, I don't know why but he told me to wake you as I was coming up here anyhow."
Merlin could tell the exact moment his eyes saw the prof of his passion last night on her. His eyes widened as his hand short forth quick as a snake and grabbed her arm. Merlin froze as he sat up and with his hand that wasn't holding her arm he gently took her jaw between his fingers, and turned her head up to better look at her neck. Merlin kept her eyes locked on his and saw how they started to darken in hunger, and Merlin cleared her throat to bring him back into the present.
Mordred pov
Mordred led go of both her arm and jaw as though he had burned him, and felt both shame and satisfaction fill him. Shame had he had almost jumped her right then and there, and satisfaction that she would carry his marks for days. The dream from before he woke up still at the front of his mind hadn't helped matters either he supposed. In his dream she had come to his chamber back in Camelot., she had sneaked in, in the middle of the night and told him she wanted him. As things tend to do in dreams, the next moment he had been sinking into her to the hilt and combined with his new knowledge of how she felt.. well, suffice to say the dream had been amazing..
Mordred let his eyes follow her to her chosen spot of hay, and just watch her as she covered his marks with that damnable scarf. He stayed right were his was as he was rock hard in his trousers and didn't feel like letting Merlin see the effect she had on him. The small hope that she didn't know was shot to hell when she reached the ladder and smiled a crocked smile at him, "don't take too long in getting down. " her eyes racked over him and lingered on his lap as she raised an eyebrow and giggled. She honest to the goddess giggled at him! At him!
Mordred groaned and let himself fall back into the hay and threw an arm over his face, what a way to start the day. Spending last night in the throes of passion with the most passionate woman he knew, then spending the rest of the night thinking about said woman and what she could have against him and how he could possible change her view, fall into dreamland where she was waiting for him with open arms. Waking up and finding her, his own personal siren practically leaning in over him covered him his marks. And if she hadn't washed herself yet she was also covered with his dried sweat, he dared not think what else she might still have of his. He would end up with a permanent hard on otherwise.
Oh goddess he wanted her. If only he knew how to crack her wall. After last night she might build it even stronger than before, he suspected she would. This was a woman who kept the whole world at bay and only showed the pieces of herself she wanted people to see. "Mordred are you still up there? Get down here already, Arthur wants us to rise out and take a look a the surrounding area." He heard Gwaine call, a smirk slid over his face as he thought he had gotten Merlin for a night and the other knight hadn't.
Then a frown replaced his smile. He had no idea if Gwaine had been with Merlin in the past, she had only said that they weren't together. Did that mean had they had been or that they never had? Had she made the same deal with Gwaine as she had done with him? Just a night. The thought didn't sit well with him but it weren't like he could just ask either one of them. But now that he had, had the thought he had to know.
Merlin and Gwaine were very close. Was it just a friendly closeness or has it a past-lovers-closeness? On the biggest level he hoped that had never been together, but on the other hand if they had, it proved that a past lover could be dear to her heart, and if he had to give up on the thought if an Merlin and him, he quite liked the thought of still being close to her.
Mordred threw his blanket to the side and got up, happy to know that he had his body back under control once more. He met a smiling Gwaine who handed him some bread and cheese, and told him to saddle up while he ate since he missed breakfast being a lazy daisy. When he came outside he saw Merlin trailing behind Arthur with the air of annoyance about her. Mordred just watched as Arthur said something to her, which made her stumble a little and from the look on her face she gave him a snarky reply. Mordred just stood with his horse and waited on the others as he watched the king frown at Merlin before looking back the way they came from, his frown morphing into one of irritation.
Mordred followed the king's eyes and saw that Brian guy standing by the door, his eyes glued to Merlin's form, or her ass from what is looked like, before he licked his lips. Mordred felt anger fill his whole chest and the response from his magic as it flared up, as if it were ready to strike at a moment's notice. Merlin's head snapped in his direction and Mordred just knew she felt it, he didn't know if she was able to feel him all the time as he was able to with her or if it just was sometimes. He just gave her at tightlipped smile as he tried raining himself back in.
"let's go" Mordred hadn't even realized he was the only one not currently on his horse and ready to ride out, and felt a slight embarrassment lightly color his cheeks. As they rode out he felt a tendril of Merlin's power caress his cheek, however he doubted it was on purpose all things considering.
The spirits were high between the knights, and Mordred couldn't help but being affected by it so when they made break after midday he was relaxed and didn't think so much about last night. That was at least until Gwaine and Percival pulled him of to the side to talk to him. Mordred felt fear run down his spine, not that he feared they would do anything, but he feared what they would think if they knew, and not only for his sake, but also for Merlin's.
"So, Mordred my lad" Gwaine started as he put an arm around his shoulder, at which Mordred raised an eyebrow at him. Because really, that was a bit too intimate for Mordred as he still saw Gwaine as competition for Merlin's affection. "I hear Perce here has told you the rule about Merlin right? If you are going to be one of our little dysfunctional, and slightly weird family you'll have to conform to this rule." "What are you talking about? That weird not knowing thing?"
Gwaine laughed loud and clear and Mordred winced a bit as his poor ear were in too close for that kind of notice, considering the few hours of sleep he'd gotten. "Yes that's the one! We know nothing unless she tells us. Or well, that rule goes out the window if someone hurts her, then we know what we don't know. Do you know what I mean?" Gwaine was looking at him with a serious look in his eyes and Mordred did not for one moment doubt that if he hurt Merlin… he wouldn't be able to run fast enough.
"I will not hurt her. But that matter is without consequence as there is nothing there." Even Mordred himself could hear the bitter undertone in his voice, and as he looked at Percival he saw in his eyes that he didn't believe him for even a single heartbeat. "She does not trust me" Mordred felt a cold hand wrap around his heart at saying it out loud to other people, like it made it more real. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gwaine wince as though it weren't news to him, or… like he knew why.
"Give her time. Our little sister doesn't trust easily. Don't make us regret this." Were the only thing Percival said before he turned and walked away, and Mordred felt amusement tingle inside of him. That man really weren't a fan of words, for him actions spoke a lot louder. Mordred had a lot of respect for the silent knight, he knew more than he let on and were never, as far as Mordred could tell, a hothead. Mordred looked to his feet as Gwaine let go of him and stood in front of him, then he gathered his resolve and looked him square in the eye.
"You know don't you? She told you why." It weren't really a question, more like a statement. But it still hurt like a sword wound when Gwaine nodded. "Listen Mordred, she only told me because I'm me okay. I followed her and overheard a conversation which I shouldn't have. I can't tell you why, but I will say this; she really wants trust you, but… as Percival said, she doesn't trust easily. And that's enough of this." Mordred blinked at the sudden shift in Gwaine, one moment sombre and the next big smile. "we need to get back, there is nothing out here."
Mordred followed the older man back to the horses in deep thoughts, and didn't really paid attention while he readied his horse and they turned back the way they came. He could only think about the ending of that unusual conversation. She wanted to trust him. She had even told Gwaine that, and considering how close they were, a new felling of suspicion at that thought got pushed away, she would have told the truth. He felt hope bloom in his chest along with a giddy feeling in his stomach. However the real question remained, what conversation had he overheard to gain such inside information? One with Gaius perhaps? And more importantly, how could he prove his loyalty and trustworthiness?
Dusk had fallen before they reached farmer Edgar's home, and Mordred was filled with a quiet anticipation. He would see Merlin, he had been able to feel her since they were about an hour out, he had felt her constant irritation and from time to time it turned into anger. It still fascinated him how easy it was to feel her, if one know how her magic felt. It was slightly different than anyone else he had ever met, which was probably why other sorcerers didn't feel her. Mordred had never met anyone with as strong magic of the mind as he had, and he supposed that might have something to do with it too.
He had done absolutely nothing to shield his own magic, because, well because he was a tiny bit curious as to how she would react the moment she was able to feel him the way he could her. He felt it to the second. One second was all it took for all doubt he had about her to disappear, because if he was honest, he was a little afraid that he had just been an itch she had scratched. But just for a tiny moment when he came within her reach, he felt her own giddiness, anticipation, longing, attraction and desire but before he could get a grasp on everything it felt like getting a door slammed in his face as she shut him out. It didn't mean he couldn't still feel her magic, he just couldn't feel HER anymore.
He was so glad that they were finally back as he was exhausted, he just needed to sleep, so as soon as they had unsaddled the horses and cleaned their hofves he told Percival that he was getting some sleep and to just wake him if it were important. Percival had just smiled and said he would cover for him, Mordred gave a tired wave and climbed the ladder. Within seconds of laying down he was of in dreamland.
Mordred jolted awake ready for an attack that never happened, still groggy with sleep he laid back down only to grab his head in pain. "MORDRED! HELP ME!" Mordred was fully awake in a second and down the ladder before he even knew what was going on, and followed the terrified pull of Merlin. It let him around the building and a little ways beyond, he couldn't quite make out the forms in the dark, but when he could he froze an fury.
Two men were holding a fighting Merlin to the ground while Brian tried spreading her legs, her trousers nowhere to be seen. Three other men stood in a semicircle around them and cheered Brian on, at the same time as they were taunting him about how he couldn't even subdue one slip at a girl. Merlin's continued fight seemed to both edge Brian on and piss him off. Mordred unfroze the moment the back of Brian's hand made contact with Merlin's face, her head snapped to the side with a pained whimper.
"Such a pretty little whore should know her place" Mordred heard Brian hiss at abruptly the same time as Mordred slammed his fist to the cheekbone of one of the men watching, before kicking Brian hard in the side of the ribs in the drunken confusion of the men. Brian let out a howl of pain and rolled off Merlin who jumped to her feet and started kicking him everywhere he could reach. Mordred didn't really remember how it happened but somehow he had incapacitated four of the five men, and just as he kicked a kneecap on the fifth Elyan and Percival came running, haven been woken by the sounds of fighting.
He had to give them credit. A single glance at the scene and their eyes hardened, Mordred faintly heard them asking Merlin carefully if they had been successful, she just said no. Other people came running to see what was happening as Mordred made his way to Merlin who was trying to cover herself in her shirt, which didn't provide much as it had been ripped too. Mordred pulled his own shirt off and gave it to her.
Merlin pov
She took the shirt from Mordred's hand with trembling fingers, and just kind of clutched it to her chest. She had released some of her anger and fear on Brian in the multiple kicks and punches she had delivered to him after Mordred had kicked him off of her. But still she had no control of her trembling, maybe Mordred could see it, because he stepped a bit closer. "do you need help getting the shirt on Emrys?"
Merlin just stared helplessly at him and gave a slight nod. He took the shirt from her and helped her get into it, while she just stared ahead. The triskelion on his chest caught her eyes and she remembered running her tongue over it barely twenty-four hours before, she couldn't believe it hadn't been longer. It seemed like much had happened since then.
When the shirt were on her, she just stood there not knowing what to do with herself, she had never been in a situation like this before. Her friends, her family all asked if she was alright, and she just said yes. Arthur had gotten out of Mordred what he had seen, and gave her a sympathetic smile before asking Mordred to take her back to the stable and clean her off a bit if she'd let him, and that he was not to leave her alone. It wasn't before then that she felt the sharp pain in her lip, and tasted the blood from her split lip.
Mordred walked next to her, making sure he didn't accidentally touch her, and it kind of irritated her. She wasn't broken just battered a bit. And she would actually like a hug, just a friendly one. Not to reassure her but to ground her, because her magic felt like it was going haywire inside of her. Merlin gave borders a hard look, "I'm not scared of you, you know. So just get to it." Murdered smiled a little to her, " sorry, this might sting a bit"
"Why didn't you use your magic to stop them?" "bugger that stings" Merlin hissed when the wet cloth made contact with her lip, " that would have exposed med right away. There was nothing to knock all of them out at the same time which would be believable. Thank you for.. you know.. saving me" Merlin felt a blush on her cheeks and cursed her light skin tone that did absolutely nothing to hide it. "it's nothing. I'll always come when you need it... Can you control it or do you need an outlet?"
Merlin just looked at him for a moment, it kind of went against her plan of no physical contact between them. Well, she needed a hug and he was offering. "well, I could use a hug. I'd use you as an anchor, if you know what I mean." "you'd use me to feel where your body ends. I can do that". With that he opened his arms and Merlin sighed as she wrapped her arms around his waist as he wrapped his around her and held her tight against him.
Merlin buried her face in his shoulder and took in the scent of him, the earthy smell of him and his arms worked wonders as an anchor. She pulled back before she was really ready for it, but letting him hold her was.. confusing to say the least. "thanks" she mumbled just as Arthur strode in. "We leave for Camelot at dawn, so pack up." "my Lord, if I may inquire about the men's fate?" Merlin didn't really want to know, so she climbed the ladder to pack her things up, and find another pair of pants. The shirt she was going to keep.
She didn't think of the significance of that decision and what out implied. She had at least on spare shirt of all her boys, the ones she considered her family, so in keeping Mordred's shirt she claimed him as hers. As she pulled her spare trousers on she heard Arthur make a comment she smiled at. "What I don't understand is why he attacked her. Considering how her throat looks he had already gotten it, unless I've got it totally wrong and she was with someone else… I'm going to kill Gwaine."
'It never fails. Every time I have had marks from a lover, he has threatened to kill him. Poor Gwaine, all the blame and no game.' "Why does he assume it's Gwaine?" Mordred asked when he joined her getting packed up, while Merlin processed packing Percival's things, she was up there and talking so keeping her still slightly shaking hands busy seemed like the thing to do. "I really have no idea. I guess he has never caught on to the fact that Gwaine moved on years ago. It took threatening his… let's just call it his big boy's toy, but he got the meaning that I weren't interested."
Merlin sent him a suspicious glance when she got the sense that he was pleased by her answer, and felt her heart sink in her chest. She had a bad feeling that their just tonight would bring complications with it, she didn't need that. She had needed him that night, just as she had needed him, albeit in another way, a few hours ago. But, that was just what it was supposed to be, two people giving each other what they needed. "What?" "Nothing Emrys. Are you ready?" instead of answering she climbed down the ladder.
Dawn was fast approaching when she made her way outside, and saw that most if the horses were just about ready to go. Merlin felt how the knights tried making everything seem as normal as ever, but they were all a little subdued in their interactions with her. The teasing were at an all time minimum, so she was pretty much left on her own, it was in a way fine with her if only her brain would shut up for a bit. It had zeroed in on how Mordred had reverted back to only calling her Emrys, in mindspeek and when no-one else would overhear Where he otherwise had started to only call her Merlin.
She wondered if it was coincidence or deliberately done, if it was deliberate then why? What significance did the name he called her by mean to him, she knew the difference for her but not for him. For her Merlin was who she was deep inside, and Emrys was the powerful witch who was promised by the triple goddess. Did it mean the same to him? She barely noticed most of their party riding ahead to announce their early arrival, so only Athur, Mordred and herself remained.
They were just barely able to make out Camelot in the distance when a man steeped onto the path before them "Sire… My name is Osgar." He spoke in a clear voice as he addressed the king, "I know who you are. You are wanted for sorcery and murder" Osgar fell to his knees in front of Athur and looked intensely at him and ignored the rest of them. Merlin thought it a bit rude that they might as well not be there for all the attention he gave them.
"I am sent from the sacred Disir to pass judgement on Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King. And on the witch Emrys, protector of Camelot" Mordred who had his sword drawn sneered at Osgar "What right have you to pass judgement on the Once and Future King and Emrys?" Merlin felt Mordred's magic cover her in a protective layer and almost snorted at the absurdity of it all, it was sweet that he sought to protect her but she had no need of it, she weren't made of glass no matter what had happened at Edgars.
"No man or woman is above the Disir – however royal or promised. It is my duty to pass their judgement on to you, dread King. My sacred duty. Your hand…Arthur Pendragon. It is done." Osgar had placed a metallic disk in Arthur's hand, but Merlin was unable to see it clearly from her position slightly behind him. "What is the meaning of this? Who is this Emrys you speck of, I know of none by that name." Merlin shifted slightly, she didn't like the thought of judgement, it sounded so… final.
"It is both judgement and fate. You have waged war on the people of the Old Religion and Emrys has done nothing to stop you. Now the ancient gods answer you. The Disir have spoken. The circle of fate begins to close. For even as Camelot flowers, the seeds of her destruction are being sown. Emrys is abandoning her duty to her people." Merlin could see Mordred freeze out of the corner of her eye, as she herself had stilled. Had she abandoned her duty?
"What nonsense is this? Have you given one of these to this Emrys you speck of, how else is she to know?" Arthur asked while looking between Osgar, Mordred and herself as though they had the answers he wanted. Merlin just shrugged her shoulders all the while still staring unblinking at Osgar, Mordred however looked slightly concerned if you looked closely, other than that he gave nothing away.
Osgar grabbed Arthur's hand and looked at him with pleading eyes, "It is not too late, Arthur. Not too late to find the true path. Redeem yourself. Emrys need not be given one, she always knows what happens to you so she will know this as well. No further chance shall be given. To either of you." Osgar fell over and Arthur kneeled down to search him for wounds as he had died. Merlin caught Mordred's worried eyes, "Emrys what will you do? This is bad. The disir doesn't judge lightly. Be careful Merlin ."