Mordred pov
"And what? I´m screwed, that's what. I have no idea how I´m going to make this one right." Mordred couldn't help it, she really was the cutest when she was pouting as she was doing right then, "Are you telling me that the great Emrys doesn't know how to convince some women, that she hasn't given up?" He said teasingly as he walked to her. He laid his hands on her shoulders and let his fingers creep under the edge of her scarf, it was just an excuse to touch her skin and he knew it.
He felt his heart constrict in his chest as he took in her split lip and the redness surrounding it. It pained him to know that just a few moments more at she would have been raped. And she would have let them. She would rather be raped than revealing herself. Mordred saw as Merlin´s eyes left him to look at his lips, and his owns darted down to look at hers just as her tongue glided across her lower lip. Mordred almost groaned at the sight, he wanted her. And here she was, in his room. With his bed of to the side of them, and she was looking at him as though she wanted to devour him whole, and he would gladly let her if not for the lack of trust she showed him.
She was leaning into him and without even noticing he was leaning in too, anticipation filling him at the prospect of tasting her lips again. He was a fool for her, and he knew it, but she was Merlin and that was all he needed. He felt it in his bones, in his magic. He felt that if he had her by his side and he could be by hers then nothing else mattered. If only she would trust him, however he wasn't sure she ever would.
Just as Mordred closed his eyes there sounded a knock on his door and he jumped away from Merlin at the same time as she jumped from him. Mordred could see the panic spread on her face as she stared at the door, and it hurt a little that she would feel that level of panic at being seen in his room. Mordred cleared his throat, "Who is it?" Merlin´s head snapped from the door so fast that Mordred was momentarily concerned for her neck." When Merlin swung around and made a head dive to get behind his bed he couldn't help but laughing quietly as he got a face full of her hair, and when he was done blinking to try and erase the feeling of hair in his eyes, he could just see her feet disappear. "Don't laugh at me Mordred. You can let him in now."
"How may I be of service my lord?" Mordred asked the king as he opened the door. "Can I come in for a moment? I know it´s late." Mordred stepped aside while bowing his head, "of course my lord. How may I be of service?" He asked again because the king just showing up at his room didn't just happen. His eyes followed the king as he stepped over to the window, Mordred feared for a moment that the king would be able to see Merlin from there. But as he looked over, he noticed that it was slightly darker than it was supposed to be, and the feeling of Merlin´s magic told him that she was responsible for it.
"First I would like to thank you Mordred. Merlin, well, she means a lot to a lot of people, and you saved her from being violated. I am thankful, that she will not be another of the servants that Brian has raped. So, thank you." As if he could have done anything else. A silver lining to it was that no one was asking where her hickeys came from, they were just assuming that they were from Brian. Mordred knew it was a silver lining but still saddened him that when they disappeared, he wouldn't be able to give her new ones.
"You don't have to thank me for that, my lord. Merlin is important to me too, and I will protect her when I can." Mordred was very aware that Merlin was in the room and would hear the conversation, but he had a small hope that she could hear the sincerity in his voice and words. Arthur was looking at him as though he was trying to see into Mordred´s very soul, "My Lord?" "You were raised as a druid." It wasn't a question but nonetheless, Mordred gave a short nod, not quite sure but suspecting where the king was going with this.
"Do you then know the legend of this Emrys?" Mordred felt his eyebrows go as far up as they could in surprise, he had thought the king might want another's opinion on the Disir. "I do, my lord. It was my favorite as a small child. Emrys and The Once And Future King." Mordred could even hear the excitement in his own voice. It really was his favorite story, still was. After meeting and being betrayed by Merlin when he was a young boy, he had hated the story, but as he grew older be understood why she had done what she had and he had started to love the story again.
"Can you tell me about it?" Mordred sat on the edge of the table, the same way Merlin had done not that long ago, "if you want to hear about Emrys my lord, then, of course, I'll tell you the legend. Emrys means immortal, but I don't know if she really is immortal. The legend tells the story of Emrys, a girl like no other before her and none after. She was born by magic itself, she doesn't have magic, she is magic. Emrys has a destiny, and that destiny is to help, guide and protect The Once And Future King to unite these lands and all it's people, both magic users, and none magic users. That is the vision of Albion."
Arthur stood against the wall with his arms crossed, "am I supposed to believe that I'm this Once And Future King and that there is a witch out there who would protect me, instead of trying to kill me?" "I don't think you understand my lord. Emrys has been protecting you for years. Amongst the magical community, she has one more name now. They call her; the killer of her own kind, because every time a sorcerer tries to attack you and your kingdom, they don't come back my lord. She kills them."
"I'm sorry Merlin." "It's... It's okay, I know that they must think me a monster for protecting a king who would execute them for their very existence." Mordred could sense a sadness in her, one he didn't think had so much to do with the legend, but something more personal to her.
"For her to be able to do what you are saying, she would have to be living in Camelot." Mordred could feel not just his own panic but Merlin´s too. Arthur could not be allowed to know that there was a witch living within the city, it would start a search for her, and that was not ideal. They had enough to worry about without it. "My lord, I highly doubt that she would be living in a place that would want her dead." "Have you ever met her? Tell the truth Mordred." Arthur was looking at him in a glaring way as though he was daring him to lie. Mordred didn´t want to lie but he could tell part of the truth.
"Yes I have met her, I met her for the first time when I was a child. I was in awe of her, who she was as a person. She is kind, compassionate, selfless, loyal and fierce. Before I met her, I never thought about who she was as a person all I saw was The Great Emrys, I never considered who she was underneath. I have also met her as an adult, and I firmly believe that there is no one who can claim to be a better person, my lord. Who she is underneath is who makes her great, not her power." Mordred was looking at the floor when he was done speaking, worried about just how much more he had reveled concerning his feelings about Merlin.
"If she is as great as you make her out to be, then why do you think she is being judged by the Disir?" Arthur asked, and by his tone, Mordred was not in any doubt that Arthur knew he was more than just a bit awed by Emrys. "My lord?" Mordred wasn't sure that he was understanding the question, as it was not one he was prepared for. "Why do you think she will be judged also?" Mordred frowned as he looked at the king, "isn´t it obvious my lord? Her destiny is to help you bring back Magic, but look around you. Magic is not back and she started years ago, so they must think she is failing."
Arthur was nodding to himself as Mordred was trying to make out what he could be thinking from his body language, but it gave nothing away. It really was quite frustrating. "Thank you for your candor, Sir Mordred. You have given me much to consider. I´ll leave you to it, and I´ll see you tomorrow." Mordred followed the king to the door and shut it behind him. He could hear Merlin get up and took steading breaths to try and calm himself down. He might have told her how he felt about her, but somehow talking to Arthur and telling him felt more personal somehow. When she didn´t say anything and it had been a few minutes he turned to her to explain, or maybe apologize, he wasn´t sure, she just stood in the middle of the room and stared at him with big eyes.
Mordred looked at her with uncertainty, he had no idea what was going through her head. Her eyes zoomed between his eyes so fast that he could barely keep up with it. She was walking towards him before stopping right in front of him, one of her hands went to his cheek and there it stayed for a moment before gliding it to the back of his neck and pulled his head down so she could kiss him. As her lips touched his, he closed his eyes and gave into the sweetest kiss he had ever received. He could feel her magic in a way he never had before, it wasn´t more powerful or anything of the sort, but it felt richer, more potent. Merlin ended the kiss and before Mordred had enough sense of mind, he heard the door close behind her on her way out.
Mordred had rarely felt more confused about her actions than he did right then.
Merlin pov
Merlin was staring at the ceiling, not knowing what to think. She had been wrong. She had no idea what to do with that, Mordred saw her. Her Merlin, and not just as Emrys. There had been no deception in his voice and the feeling she had gotten from Mordred´s magic made her believe that he believed what he was saying. Merlin groaned and pressed the heels of her hands to her eye sockets. She was no closer to falling asleep than she had been hours ago, when she had laid down after running all the way from Mordred´s room.
Merlin felt that she had barely fallen asleep when she was woken by a loud sound and she flew out of her bed, and out the door into the main area of Gaius' chambers frantically trying to pull up her pants that she had grabbed on the way out. "What, what? Is it late? Have I overslept, I feel like I have just fallen asleep." Merlin yarned while she looked at Gaius before frowning at him. He didn't look as though she overslept, he was still in his nightshirt, "It is not yet dawn.
Gaius oped the door, and Arthur pushed passed him into the room, "My lord, I..." He didn't get further before Arthur interrupted him, "Where can I find the Disir?" Merlin was sure she had to be sleeping still because Arther standing in the middle of her home before the sun even rose, and was talking about finding the Old religion´s high court had to be a dream. Anything else just didn´t make any sense.
Gaius apparently also thought that it was lunacy, "Sire, I..." Merlin couldn't help but snare internally that she was still sleeping, and that he should go away. "Gaius, if anyone knows where to find them, it is you." Merlin, even in her state of sleepwalking state could hear the slight desperation in Arthur's voice. Just like she could hear in Gaius´ voice that he really didn´t know what to say, "until yesterday I didn´t know they still existed."
Merlin was rubbing her eyes in an effort to wake just a little bit more. "But they do. As we know. So again, where can I find them?" sometimes merlin really hated Arthur's arrogance, today it was arrogance and not self confidence. She was tired, and it was starting to look like she was going to be dragged on a new silly quest to find someone who wanted to beat Arthur over the head. Oh the joy. "Sire, I do not think it is wise for you..."
"Gaius, do I look like a man to trifle with?" oh sweet nimue, she didn't need this today. She needed for today to be a quiet day... No, wait... No, no, no Arthur had a point! She needed a silly quest so mind consuming that she didn't have time to think. Yes, that was just what she needed today. No time to think of sorcerers who saw her for who she was, and who wanted her. And was making it quite difficult not to starting to trust them.
"It is said that the Disir divines using an ancient pool. In turn, the pool is fed by the sacred spring at Caerlanrigh. The source of the spring is a grove of yew trees in the Black Mountains. The Grove of Brineved."
Arthur gave a nod to Gaius before looking to Merlin, "Thank you. We leave within the hour." "We will?" Merlin asked after a face pulling yarn and rubbed her tired eyes. Merlin opened her eyes and when seeing the expression Arthur had turned on her, she hurried to change her statement. "I just need to get ready, you know changing, I really can't go into denger in my sleepwear."
Merlin almost laughed when she saw Arthur's eye quickly take in how both her and Gaius were dressed, and a flattering red hue took over his cheeks. She did laugh after the door closed after Arthur rushed out an apology and almost ran from the room.
GAIUS
Be careful, Merlin. I don't know what you'll encounter but the Old Ways will be at their strongest there. The Caerlanrigh is the very centre of their powers.
Merlin was making sure the restraint on her house was secure, as she saw Mordred walk with his horse to Arthur, who in turn was looking over his own horse.
"My lord, you are going to the Black Mountains?" Merlin heard Mordred ask, and felt unease creep up her spine. He shouldn't come with them. She could feel it in her bones. Something was going to happen. Something which would change... Everything. For better or for worse, she didn't know. But she knew that her own path was being carved, and the outcome was beyond her control.
"I am." Merlin let out the breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding. From Arthur's tone she deduced that he had no intention of letting Mordred come with them this time. "Then I humbly petition to come with you."
Merlin looked on in horror as Mordred talked his way into going with them. Everything in her was screaming that he shouldn't come with them, something was going to happen. Something which would change the path they were on. Merlin could feel her path being carved and she had no control of the outcome.
Not much was said on the road, but that suited Merlin just fine as her mind kept drifting to something Kilgharrah had said the night before. Merlin had asked about Arthur's death and if the runemark lead to Mordred. His destiny and Arthur's are bound together like ivy round a tree... Sometimes, to save the tree you have to cut the ivy. Set your personal feelings for the Druid boy aside, if you have another chance to kill him. You MUST not fail!
Thing was though, Merlin suspected that she wouldn't be able to kill him. Not before he was too far gone for her to see any other way. While she didn't trust him, he had gotten under her skin, more than anyone ever had before. She hadn't lied to him, when she told him that she would choose Arthur if it came down to it. But she hadn't told him that it wasn't quite as simpel as she made it out to be.
In the time Mordred had been at Camelot Merlin had started to feel a longing, a desire to belong, to have what Arthur had with Gwen. To have someone to share her life with, someone who knew her, both the good and the bad. She was torn on the inside over it. She felt like she was torn in two different directions. One part of her wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and face what the world threw at them side by side. The other part of her wanted to rip him out of her life for good, he was supposed to kill her best friend, her king.
Merlin felt like today would rip her apart, her path ahead would either make her, or it would break her. Merlin looked up she horse stopped and saw the others were dismounting and followed suit. Nothing was being said as they moved towards the cave of the Disir. "Stay close. You know your positions." Arthur called out and Merlin made her way up beside him, they needed to be careful not to offend more than they had to. This was a sacred place and they would do well to remember that.
"My lord." "What is it, Merlin?" Merlin could hear the sigh in his voice, as though he knew she was going to say something he would think dumb. "This place is sacred." "It's a cave, Merlin." Merlin could feel the magic flowing around them, it was in the earth, in the air and in the talismans which adorned the trees all around them. She could feel the apprehension sing in her blood.
"It's more than that." She had to make him understand, that this, right here would define the future. "To me, one cave is the same as another." Merlin was alarmed when he moved to go past her, "You can't go armed into a sacred place!" Arthur looked at her with disbelief all over his face before saying "You want us to go in there unarmed? Of all the ridiculous things that you have ever said, Merlin - and there's been a few - that is the most ridiculous. By far."
When he moved past her, Merlin felt a stone fall into place on her path being carved and a shudder whent through her. The kneigts moved passed her with their weapons drawn and Merlin felt panic settle into her bones. This wasn't right. Mordred moved past her and looked at her with worried eyes, 'This will not go well, Emrys.' Merlin couldn't even answer him but felt his magic brush up against her in an act of reassurance, but she didn't feel calmed.
They were moving through the cave and Merlin's nerves were being flayed as the kneigts stepped on a talisman Percival had pulled down. They were doomed, she just knew it. Most of her companions showed no respect of where they were and what it meant. The cave opened up into a caveren, in one end they were coming in, and in the other stood three women in coats which covered their faces, and wicked looking staffs in their hands.
"I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. I come to know the meaning of this. The Grove of Brineved is in the kingdom of Camelot, subject to its laws, its decrees. Every man, however humble, however noble, has the right to be judged only by his peers. Yet YOU judge me in my absence. Explain yourselves."
Merlin felt faint when Arthur flickered the runemark on the floor in front of the Disir. The three women started to speak one ofter another," We do not judge." "We do not condemn." "We are but the internuncio of the one who presides over all." Merlin's eyes followed as the first started again "Who sees all." "Who knows all." All three women said as one voice, "The Triple Goddess."
The first of them to speak, spoke again and Merlin wished she hadn't "And you, Arthur Pendragon, have angered her." "How so? Have I not been an honourable king? Have I not made Camelot a fair and just kingdom?" Merlin looked on as the Disir spoke of how Arthur had neglected the old religion and persecuted its followers "... Even unto slaughter, and Emrys have stood by and watched you do it. Embrace the ways of the Old Religion, Arthur. Or risk the ire of the Goddess."
"The destruction of everything you most value." "The end of your reign." "The fall of Camelot itself."
"I know nothing of this Emrys, other than what I have been told this last day, and I refuse to be judged by those who do not know me." Merlin could both feel and hear their fury as they spoke of how their relics had been trampled and the drawn weapons. She felt another stone fall into place when Gwaine stepped forward and shouted," Enough! You speak of the King!" one of the Disir threw threw him back and the rest of the kneigts lifted their swords and prepared to attack. One of the Disir threw her staff right at Arthur.
Before Merlin had a chance to react Mordred had thrown himself in front of Arthur and the staff impaled him. Merlin froze as another stone fell into place, and she saw Mordred fall to the cavern floor. "Merlin!" Merlin snapped out of it when Arthur shouted her name. "Fall back!" As the knights fell back and pulled Mordred with them, Merlin glared at the Disir in contempt. They had hurt Mordred. When another of the Disir threw her staff Merlin barely spared it a thought as she flung it away. She could see the slight surprise as one of the women lifted her head so she could see her face. Merlin sneered at her before turning to leave.
Merlin ran with her heart in her throat, and almost fell down next to him and started to pull on his chainmail to see the wound at the top of his chest. It didn't look good. Merlin felt a calm settle over her as she looked at it. This could be it, a voice whispered in her head. Let him die and Arthur survives. She handed herself for even thinking it.
"How is he?" Arthur asked and Merlin considered her answer, "It is not a simple wound. Sorcery's involved." "Is there anything you can do?" Merlin felt her calm shatter as she gave her answer this time, "This is beyond my skills, sire. We need to get him back to Camelot." It didn't really matter if she wanted to save him or not. There was nothing she could do. Not without revealing herself to her friends.
"That is a long and arduous journey. What if he doesn't survive it?" "Look, I fear that Gaius is the only one who can save him." Merlin felt her heart constrict in her chest as she saw how worried Arthur was for Mordred. Merlin watched as Arthur thought for a moment before nodding to himself, "Mount up. We ride for Camelot."
When they made a short break from the hard ride, Mordred was getting worse. They had built a small fire and placed him next to it. Merlin were acutely aware of how Percival kept an eye on her, and she weren't unaware of the worried quality his gaze held. If he was waiting on her to break, he would be waiting for a long time. She was used to separate from her feelings in times of crisis, and in this case she didn't even know what she was supposed to feel.
Should she be happy? Kilgharrah had told her more than once that Mordred had to die, so shouldn't she be happy that he was appearing to die, without any assistance from her? Or should she be sad because her onetime lover was dying, without her ever finding out if they could ever have more than one night together? She didn't know how to feel, so it was easier to push it aside for a more appropriate time, preferably when she was alone.
Arthur was sitting by Mordred's side and keeping watch over him. Merlin made her way over to them, and to hide how she wrapped her magic tighter around Mordred to get a better feel of his state, she placed her hand on his forehead. While his skin was starting to heat up, she felt the frantic feel of his magic. She could feel how it twisted inside him, trying to protect him from the outside influence. He was in pain and there was nothing she could do to help him, for a short moment Merlin felt her emotions try to take over, but she pushed them back down.
"He grows worse." Merlin lifted her head to look at Arthur, but he wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were stiff on Mordred, "There has been little change." Merlin got up to move away, because while she might be able to distance herself from her emotions, it was harder to do when she was right next to him. The love bites on her neck hadn't even disappeared yet, and she was faced with the possibility that he would be gone before they were.
"I should never have let him come." Merlin turned back to look at Arthur before looking at Mordred before looking back to Arthur "He wanted to prove himself. It was his choice, he knew the risks. He is young, but not stupid. He might make it through, as soon as we get him to Gaius." Merlin silently cursed at herself, her voice sounded weak at the end. She needed to get herself together. She knew deep in her soul that it wasn't just Arthur he had tried to prove himself to.
" And he has. He saved my life for the second time." Merlin didn't know what to say, so she chose to not say anything at all. Instead she sad down on the other side of the fire and lost herself in thoughts. Arthur was right. It was the second time he risked his own life for Arthur. What did that mean? How could he go from doing that, to kill the man. What would happen to make him kill the man he held in such a high regard. She didn't know and it was eating at her.
She had been warned not to trust him, time and time again. But if he kept doing crazy things like this, then how could she not? Was Gwaine right? Was she, they, all of them, what would keep him on the right path. Could acceptance of him be what could stay his hand? If he made it out of this alive.