Love You Always
An Elani Short
By Lou
-CHAPTER FOUR-
Eli sat at his desk, drained, fed up, and just not in the damned mood.
He had just gone head up with Trask about his case and he didn't feel good about it. In fact, he felt like putting his fist through a wall.
Her daughter, her sister, whoever, was busted in the drug ring connected to the hospital. Eli had suspected for months that that was the case, but he had no way to prove it.
Until now.
Haley Chen was deep in triad foolishness.
She owed them.
They had procured her way into the US, and, in return, she had to do their bidding. J.J. wasn't in it as deep as far as Eli knew, but he had tried to protect Haley and had ended up breaking the law to do so.
He was so damn tired.
Eli pulled open a desk drawer, looking for something to combat his ever present headache, when his eyes caught on the gold band that he had been trying to get away from.
Every day since he had received it sat heavily on him.
David Banning's ring.
His father's ring.
The man had left it to him. Eli had wanted his mother to have it, but she had declined.
"I don't need his ring to remind me of him, or the love that we shared. Besides, he wanted you to have it."
"Do more with it than I did." His will had read.
The only thing that Eli had known about his father was that his mother hadn't been enough for him to stay; he hadn't been either, and a lie had been perpetuated for decades because of it.
The ring was the only tangible thing that he had left of him. There weren't any pictures of them together. Any photos his mother had of his parents together she had destroyed years ago in anger.
Sometimes, Eli felt like he had come from nowhere.
After a while, all that he'd had left of his father had begun to mock him. In his darkest moments, Eli had found often found himself thinking that, like David, like his father, that there was something in him, about him, that didn't fit; and everybody could see it. That was why things hadn't worked out with him and Lani the first time or with Gabi either time. He knew better, he did, but when you fell down a hole thinking like that, it stuck to you.
Every time he had opened that drawer, opened that box that feeling came back; that sinking.
Eli had been telling himself for months that he needed to get rid of it but he hadn't been able to and he didn't understand why. He didn't owe David Banning anything, but he hadn't been able to walk away from the man who had walked away from him. It was ridiculous. You couldn't walk away from someone who had never been there.
He was dead.
David Banning was dead.
It was time to stop holding on to him; to the idea of him.
He took the ring out of his house with even intention of getting rid of it, selling it, pawning it, throwing it in the first dumpster that he saw.
Instead, Eli had tossed it in a desk at work, and here it was now staring at him; mocking him. He'd taken it out of his house for a reason. It was no good for him. It was time to-
"You're not busy. Good."
Eli closed the desk drawer as he stood. "Do you understand the concept of knocking first, or is it your intent to piss me off."
"Is that a trick question?"
"Do you have an appointment, Mr. Cook?"
"I prefer Kiriakis."
"What...do you want?" Eli asked him. "And make it quick. I have work to do." He sat back down opening the file in front of him. This was a mess, he thought. All of it. From top to bottom, and he had to find a way through it.
"This won't take long," Xander told him. "I'm here on behalf of my family."
"And?"
"Could you at least pretend to pay attention, Commissioner Grant?"
"My ears work fine, and I can walk and chew gum at the same time."
"We would like an update on the status of Titan servers being breached.
"Is that right?"
"The persons responsible for this violation being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law is to the utmost importance to my family, Commissioner...Grant." The man's smile widened when Eli sat back in his chair. "I know that you may not think much of us, but my family and I, too, are citizens of the Salem that you answer to."
"You're right," Eli replied. "Which is why I sent my report to Titan's head of security, lead technician, CEO, and COO days ago. If you have not already been informed, Titan's lead technician was correct in his assessment that the IP address provided was a dummy. The company that it was linked to does not exist, and it never has."
"You sound irritated."
"No more than you."
Xander smiled again in direct contrast to the anger that flashed in his gaze. "You really don't like me, do you?"
"Whether I like you or not has nothing to d with me doing my job, Mr. Cook."
"Kiriakis."
"Whichever name gets you to close the door behind you." Eli went back to the file in front of him.
The other man stood, brushing fingertips at something only he saw on his blazer. "I will never understand how one so brilliant, so vibrant, as Lani Price would ever choose a life of bland, nauseating, unceasing domesticity with you when she could have had everything in the world with me," Xander said. "I don't understand the pull; the reason."
"It's not for you to understand."
"Mm. You're probably right about that." Xander smiled again knowing that he had hit his mark. Satisfaction radiated around him when he left, the door standing wide open behind him; leaving Eli alone with his thoughts.
Lani smiling at him.
Her crawling across the bed toward him.
The way she looked at him.
The way she felt in his arms.
How she could make him so damned mad at her and still fall deeper in love with her at the same time.
She had a point, but at the same time, she didn't. Eli knew that Lani was trying to find her way. He knew that. She was trying to find her space; her place in all of it. He got that, and yes, he had been upset when she hadn't come back to the force; even after all of it.
What Eli couldn't get behind, who Eli didn't respect, were those damned Kirakises. She hated that she worked with those vipers. Nobody could tell him that Lani wasn't jumping from the fire into the pan working for that family after risking her life swimming in the deep with the DiMeras.
He was never going to trust that.
"Explain yourself."
Eli's eyes came up and he was face to face to face with Paul.
"Excuse me?"
"This is not me coming to you as one of your detectives," Paul told him. "This is me coming to you as Lani's best friend. My girl is avoiding me and I know that it has something to do with you; you've been grumping throughout this damn station house for the past few days and I know that it has to do with her. Did...did she say no? No way. Not possible."
"Did Shawn send you?"
"Lost the coin toss."
"Neither one of you is worth a complete damn..."
"Talk to me, man."
"It's nothing," Eli muttered. "...It's stupid."
Paul watched Eli for long seconds, making up his mind. "Look, man," He began. "Lani deserves every drop of love you give her. I don't need to tell you that that woman is phenomenal; and you, you deserve that kind of love, too. So, whatever it is that is clouding your headspace, get rid of it. Throw it away. It's not good for you. Believe me."
Eli sat forward. "You good?"
"No," Paul replied. "I'm really not."
"Paul-"
"And I'm good with that," He told him. "Because I will be; eventually. I'm not here about me."
"You think you guys will work it out?"
"I don't-I can't think about that right now. You and Lani? That's different. You have a love that nothing else can touch. When you were together when you fell out and you weren't...anybody with eyes could see that pull. You have this." Paul told him.
Eli nodded. He had tried. It didn't work without her.
"Let's get out of her early and you, me, and Shawn can go grab a beer."
"I appreciate that Eli, I really do; and I plan to take you up on it. Just not today."
"I understand; and, in that case, tell Shawn he's a chickenshit and his haircut is stupid."
"It is absolute madness that an evolved mind, such as mine, truly wants to know what the actual fuck is the two of you...the mind truly boggles."
After Paul left, Eli did, too; taking the ring with him. The air was cold and snow threatened. Dark gray waters cracked and thrashed as waves smashed ice together; rife and threatening, it was an ill will that Eli knew, from experience, that some would see as a challenge while others would see as a way out; an escape.
He took David's ring from his pocket, his eyes tracing the old metal.
"I'm not you," Eli spoke quietly to himself. "I'm not you." He threw the ring out as far as he could into the dark water.
"Goodbye David."
Eli felt like a thousand pounds of stress had been lifted from him. He couldn't stay to watch the water today, he had things to do. He put one foot in front of the other and walked away, pulling his phone out, a smile growing on his lips, as he did.
Just as quickly he stopped in his tracks, the smile leaving him.
Lani had sent him to voicemail.
"The hell..."
"Man...what are you doing, Lani?"
"Excuse me?"
He pulled the file from her hands and tossed it aside, the papers falling to the floor like dead leaves. "Stop." Eli shot.
"What in the hell is the matter with you?"
"You," He swore.
"Sounds like a personal problem to me." She started around him only to be stopped by him reaching out, his fingertips warm on her. Lani stopped but she wouldn't look at him.
"Quit. Messing. With. Me." His words were quiet but shook with something that neither of them was about to touch. When he took his hand away Lani made herself turn to him.
"I'll contact your office-"
He knew he was playing with fire. He knew. Eli just didn't care. "I'm here," He told her. "Contact me now. Stop playing in my face, Lani. What? What is it? Is he not enough for you; not what you expected, not filling your tank like you're used to?"
"Okay, that's enough."
"Now it's enough? It's all fun and games until somebody's feelings get hurt."
"That's where we're going?"
"We're already here."
"Okay, in that case. My feelings are far from hurt, and I can fill my own damned tank; a fact that you have borne witness to. Is that what this is? You're mad because you just know that he's been in attendance? Nevermind, don't tell on yourself; again. I don't need you, or anybody else, worried about my satisfaction. I've got this. Thank you.
"Why are you here," Lani wanted to know. "Why not send Shawn or Paul?" Eli had no choice but to watch as the smile grew on Lani's lips. His insides shook, and his body grew hot as he watched her. Eli wanted to be mad at her, and he was, it just wasn't enough.
He wasn't supposed to miss her.
He wasn't supposed to still want her the way that he did.
Lani left him. She blew them apart and Eli couldn't make himself give a fuck about her reasons why. They could have found a way, but she hadn't trusted them.
"What you should be worried about, Mr. Commissioner," Lani went on. "Is why every time you find yourself in my presence, in my face, you're dying of thirst and looking at me like all you need is one really long drink. What? Is Gabi not quenching your thirst? Is that what this is; dehydration? Still need that long drink of me; want it? She hasn't found that spot on your back yet has she?"
"Alright-"
"Oh, 'it's all fun and games until somebody's feelings get hurt', remember? Are you hurt, Eli? You're mad? A little upset? For a long as you and Gabi have been together, maybe she has found all your spots; she just doesn't give enough of a damn to learn how to use them properly. Shame."
"Enough,"
Lani tilted her head and asked, "How long has it been since you've said that? So it's starvation then?"
"Are you good?" He asked her. "Did you get all that shit out of your system, or do you need more time?"
"I can still go. I get an hour and a half for lunch. Are you still hungry?" Lani asked him. "I'm doing my job. I'm 'seeing you now'. You are the one who is making this personal."
"I'm the one?" Eli pointed to himself. "I'm the one making this shit personal?"
"Who else is standing here?"
"Woman, you know what-"
"What? Tell me."
"You expect anyone with half a brain to believe that you're here doing your boss' bidding? You aren't a henchman, Lani. You've never been."
"I'm the Head of Security for a multibillion-dollar company. I'm nobody's hench anything. I'm here on behalf of Titan and Victor Kiriakis, Eli; not Xander." Lani told him. "Your jealousy is showing, Mr. Commissioner, and it's highly unprofessional. You might want to get that checked."
Oh, they really were here.
Okay.
"Yours isn't?" Eli demanded. "Yours isn't, Lani?"
"I'm not jealous of Gabi," She scoffed.
"Bullshit, you aren't jealous." Eli shot his words dripping with condemnation. "What the fuck is all of this about if not jealously, Lani?"
"You started this," Lani snapped not liking his tone one bit. "You." When she stepped into his space Eli had to force himself not to touch her, to stand still and endure what he felt when he breathed her in; her scent, so familiar, turning him inside out.
"If you were looking at me with a lingering satisfaction that she had provided, I might be jealous, but you're frustrated sir; and it's not just because you're standing here still wanting me."
"I'm not with Gabi."
"You're not with Gabi the way I'm not with Xander. Stop it, Eli."
His jaw clenched. "Gabi hasn't been in the picture since our engagement ended."
"Why?"
She really didn't know. He wasn't about to acknowledge what he felt about that. "That's none of your business." He snapped, giving himself away.
Silence.
"What, no 'I told you so'? because told me so you absolutely did."
"What does it matter," She replied quietly. "You didn't believe me."
"And I've paid for it. More than you know."
"I'm sorry about the b-"
"What you're doing is messed up."
"And it wasn't when you let that hateful bitch-"
"You left me!"
"And you know why I had to do it!" Lani fired right back. "You know why. You have no idea what it felt like-"
"Don' t you tell me what I felt. Don't you tell me what that did." Eli shook his head when Lani's face began to fall then she threw her shields up, pulling herself together; as mad as he probably ever had been. "This was a damned mistake. You set up what you need to with Nadine." He told her a he turned to leave.
Her words stopped Eli in his tracks. "What do you want?"
"What does it matter," Eli threw her words back at her. "When there's no point?"
"That's not what I asked you."
"You know what," Eli turned back into the room, this time, invading Lani's space. Agitation came off him in waves. The heat of her doing nothing to close down his feelings. "What do you want, Lani? Hm? What? Do? You? Want?" Eli demanded.
There was more silence, but he refused to let her look away.
"That's what I thought," He nodded. "That's what I'm talking about. Don't you ever fix your face to ask of me what you don't have the nerve to answer for yourself..."
Lani had sent him to voicemail.
Again.
Twice.
That didn't even sound right, but here he was, slouched on the couch, clothes rumpled from a long day's work, a beer in his hand; opened, untouched, and growing warm while he brooded.
It had been days.
The headspace that he had been in, that they had both had been in before he had walked out on her, hadn't helped the situation. Eli had taken the hint and hadn't tried to make things worse.
In doing so, it had given Eli more time to live inside his own mind. He'd been an idiot to let Xander Cook parting words spin around in his head. Ever since then and letting go of father for his own sanity, Eli had been replaying one of the most painful moments he'd had with Lani. That time period had been worse than when Lani had pulled away from him, worse than her lying to him when she told him that she didn't love him and that she never had, worse than the disillusion he had felt because of her.
Being in love with and hating Lani at the same time had ripped him up so bad and Eli hadn't been able to find daylight for the longest time.
That motherfucker had known it, too.
Every time Xander had seen Eli and made it a point to gloat, which, in turn, pissed off Gabi who had claimed that had been the reason why she had been messing around him with Chad. It was bullshit, he knew. Gabi had been doing it all along; her being "hurt" that he had "still felt something for Lani" had been the lie that she had told herself and had tried to feed him.
He hadn't needed Lani to tell him; not when the biggest part of Eli had already known. He hadn't felt the satisfaction he thought that he would've when he'd busted her out at their engagement party. Rocking Chad's jaw had been good, but not great. None of it had mattered because nothing had changed how he felt, it hadn't fixed what had been broken in him. It hadn't brought Lani back.
It was the next day that had gut-punched him because Lani hadn't picked up then either. The day had moved so slowly. Eli hadn't even been able to sleep in his own bed. Lani hadn't been at his place in days but he felt her everywhere. He'd spent last night, and the night before, tossing and turning on the damn couch.
One argument.
After all the other times they had blown up at each other before and found their way through it; this is the one argument? This was the reason why she was pulling away from him? Eli didn't know who in the hell Lani Price thought she was playing with him. They weren't kids. This wasn't high school, and Eli would be damned if he was about to spend another night without her beside him with no reason why.
If she wanted to be done, cool; they'd be that.
It was a lie that burned places deep inside of him but fuck if he would beg.
Eli stood from the couch, reaching for a coat that wasn't there going unnoticed. Determination coursed through him. If this was it, he thought, then Lani was damn well going to say it.