Before Bed 3.0

Miranda Bailey held her daughter in her arms, pacing the spacious nursery floor. She focused on the ceiling, softly calling the names of the constellations that were displayed there. She'd thought the navy and pale-yellow celestial theme would be a bit too boyish at first, but once her husband and sons were finished with the room, it proved to be a great idea. The girl moved slightly and Miranda smiled. Every day, she was blown away by the existence of the baby. At the age she was and with the job she had, the fact that she had brought a tiny human into this world seemed ridiculous. And she couldn't believe that even after six weeks, the girl was so still so small. Had Tuck ever been that small? It seemed impossible. Her 16-year-old was well on his way to six feet. But there'd been a time. She looked down at her baby girl, Dani, who seemed content right where she was. Stopping in front of the rocking chair that Ben had insisted on getting her, Miranda sat down. As if she'd been waiting for that exact moment, Dani let out a wail that forced her mother to pop up and keep moving. "Geez."

"Yeah, she does not like that," her husband, Ben, said leaning against the threshold. She hadn't noticed him standing there and was glad that he, too, was still awake.

"I thought she was asleep," Miranda said.

"She's temperamental. Much like her mother."

"Very funny." He smirked and walked inside of the room, leaning down to kiss both his wife and his daughter. "Should I try the beanbag chair?" Ben pulled it over and helped her settle into it. Dani whimpered, but she didn't cry.

"Yes, try the beanbag chair." After a few silent minutes, Ben said: "Wow."

"What?" Miranda asked, closing her eyes a little.

"My two girls."

"Benjamin," she warned him and watched him look up to the ceiling. If Miranda couldn't believe the joy that Dani was, Ben really couldn't. She'd already created one life before, this was his first time and no less than ten times a day, he'd "wow" or "oh my God" at the sight of them. And she was still so hormonal that when he went on his tangent, she began to cry. And when she cried, she would lactate. This time she tried to nip it in the bud—pun intended. "Don't start. Please."

"Since you said please." He reached out and stroked Dani's head. The girl was truly asleep now. Miranda stared at her, not wanting to put her down, but also wanting to get some rest. "She's so gorgeous."

"Now, in that way she's most certainly like her mother." Miranda smiled. "Help us up, I think we're ready for bed."

Ben followed Miranda to their shared bedroom. "Hold on, I'm going to check on the boys right quick," he said referring to Tuck and Joey, sixteen and seventeen respectively. Tuck was Miranda's child from a previous marriage. And Joey was the young man they'd fostered just before Dani had been conceived. Both were great kids and she adored them with all her heart.

"Leave them be. Come to bed." Ben obliged. In the room, he took Dani and with a few whispers and a few kisses, he placed her in the bassinet that was pushed up against the left side of the bed. "Let's sleep on opposite sides. I'm off-duty," she chuckled. Her husband just shook his head as they crawled into their king-size bed.

"Goodnight," Ben said facing Dani with Miranda curled behind him, falling asleep quickly.

A few nights later, she lay in bed and listened. The faintest sounds made her open her eyes. Dani was waking up. Miranda held her breath, waiting to see if her daughter would go back to sleep. Hearing that she was fully awake now, Miranda touched her husband's arm gently causing him to tighten his grip on her waist. "You're up," she said with the smallest smile. "Your daughter is, too."

"She's not crying; she's just chilling," Ben argued, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah, but her diaper needs a quick changing." She turned in his arms, reaching for his body. "And then she needs to eat."

"Oh, that's your department," he said. They laughed quietly. "Okay. And before that happens…" He kissed her chin and pushed it up with his nose, placing another kiss on her neck. "Say good morning."

"Good morning, sweetie," she whispered, putting her lips against his for a soft kiss. He slipped his tongue into her mouth. "Unh-uh, morning breath."

Ben chuckled. "I like your morning breath," he told her.

Scrunching up her face, Miranda hit his arm. "Stop."

"You stop." He kissed her again. "Let me kiss you, woman." Dani began crying. "See, even your daughter wants you to."

Miranda wrapped a leg around his body. "She's actually on my side." Their daughter got louder. "You hear that cry?"

"Yeah."

"That's cry number two," she told him. Ben bopped his head, mentally going through the list of cries that Miranda had told him about. Finally figuring it out, he turned up his nose. "Yeah." He started to move, but her leg held him hostage as the girl's cries grew louder. "I'd get on that if I were you."

"I'm coming, baby girl." He rolled on top of her, kissing her one last time before getting off the bed and picking up Dani. The girl continued to cry, softly now that she was being held. Putting her on the changing table that was set up in the corner of their room, Ben whispered to the baby. Miranda propped her head up and watched him kiss both of Dani's cheeks. Totally in love and in awe, she sighed. Ben had always been a great father; but seeing him with their daughter made him so much more lovable and so much sexier. "There you go. Dry as a bone." He bounced the smiling girl toward her mother. "Look at this face, babe."

Miranda's face mirrored her daughter's. "Ready to eat?" She asked the newborn. The girl's lips flapped a bit. "I'll take that as a yes."

Ben handed over the child. "I'm going to wake the boys."

"It's the weekend, let them sleep," she said, pulling out her breast, making sure that Dani had latched on before she continued. "We all need some rest."

He shook his head. "Tuck has a soccer scrimmage and Joey has basketball practice. And both are at the same time."

Miranda licked her lips and focused on the beauty laying on her chest. "Not a problem. Dani and I will go to Joey's practice," she said. "And you can cheer Tuck on."

"That would work except you've missed his last three soccer scrimmages."

"I just had a baby," Miranda said stroking Dani's head. Ben put on his robe and headed to the door. "We'll talk about it when you come back." When Ben was gone, Miranda rocked Dani, singing softly. Giving birth to Tuck was an amazing and stressful time in her life her with her strenuous work life and marriage not being as good as she'd always imagined. Bringing Joey into their home was a challenging experience that she didn't know that she needed, causing a small riff between her and husband. Having Dani was a miracle that brought them all closer. Miranda's voice eased Dani back to sleep. Placing her comfortably on the bed, Miranda hopped into the shower. "Cut it out. Did the boys have breakfast?"

He nodded. "Oatmeal and fruit. And a little snack for later." Miranda made a face. He was always on top of things. Stepping out of it, Ben walked into the bathroom, brushing against her. "And I was thinking that a little…" He wiggled his eyebrows comically. "Quickie never hurt anyone." Miranda paused and looked at the two of them in the mirror. She leaned in to kiss him. "I knew you couldn't resist." Just before their lips connected, she moved away. "Damn it," he laughed.

She laughed, too, walking out of the room. "Gotcha."

Ben hopped into the shower. "You're mean, woman!"

"Shhh!" She said, brushing her teeth. "I think Dani and I are going to skip both events and relax here at home."

"I knew you were going to say that which is why I'll drop them off and come back here. The three of us are skipping both."

Miranda turned to him smiling. "Really? You love going to their games."

He nodded. "And there'll be plenty more."

"Okay. I think we'd like that." She flossed and looked in the mirror again. Swiping her hands against various parts of her skin, Miranda remembered being younger, thinner, more energetic. She used to lug Tuck around the hospital against her chest hoped that she could provide Dani with that same experience.

"Hey, you're gorgeous," Ben told her. She glanced over to see him poking his head from beneath the shower.

"Yeah?"

He turned off the water and without grabbing a towel, he stood behind her. "Oh, yeah." He kissed the side of her head. "You're really doing me a favor looking this damn good." Miranda raised a brow. "I see how Taylor and McKesson look at you when you come to the Station."

She slapped his arms. "Stop."

"I'm serious. You're beautiful."

"You have to say that," she said turning in his arms. "You'd better say that."

He moved his head about. "I don't have to, but it's my pleasure." His voice tingled her skin. Ben kissed her shoulder and made eye contact with her, melting her. "I'm in love with every inch and mark, curve and dip. I love it all." With one last kiss, he put a towel around his waist.

"Pops! I'm ready," Joey said coming to their bedroom door. "Good morning, Mama B." The teen gave her a smile and walked into the room to hug her.

She kissed the side of his head. "Hi, baby. Have fun at practice."

"I will." On the way out the door, he touched Dani's hand. "Bye, Dani."

Miranda turned and watched Ben slip into a t-shirt. Tuck came to the door, his headphones thumping with music. "Ready." He went over to Dani and smiled at the sleeping girl before saying. "Hey, ma. Are you coming to my scrimmage?" She shook her head. Tuck sauntered over to her. Tuck sauntered over to her. "Right. Morning." He gave her an obligatory hug. As he pulled away, she held him.

"You sound disappointed."

They made eye contact. He looked down at her. "I am. A little."

"Well, don't be," Ben started. He tied his sneakers. "Because your mom is tired and Dani doesn't need to be around loud noises right now."

"And what about you?"

"Tuck, I've been to nearly all of the scrimmages and have Tetris-ed my schedule around your games and Joey's. I can miss one." Tuck nodded.

"We'll catch the next one, baby," Miranda told him trying to soothe her teen. Miranda hugged him again.

"Hopefully, you and Dani can come to one of the games later in the season," the teen said cheering up before walking out of the room.

Miranda's smile faded. "I hope he's not mad."

"He'll get over it." He kissed her lips quickly. "I will be back. Don't have breakfast without me."

When the front door closed, Miranda looked at Dani, asleep. She stroked the girl's head. "It's just me and you, little girl. Until your daddy gets back. I'm just going to just close my eyes until he gets back." She slid beneath her covers, dozing off. "Miranda."

"Huh?"

"Miranda Bailey."

"Yes, Benjamin Warren?" She said turning toward his voice. Her eyes darted to the bassinet and saw that not only was it empty, but Ben wasn't there. "Where are you?"

"Downstairs," he said from the baby monitor.

Miranda pulled herself up. "Do you have my child?"

"Of course."

"Was she crying and I slept through it?"

Ben shook his head. "No, no, no. I just wanted to show my daughter how to make a delicious and nutritious breakfast." She rolled her eyes, grinning widely. "Come on down."

"Let me splash water on my face and I'll be right there."

"Alright. We're waiting for you."

Finished in the bathroom, she made her way to the kitchen where was holding Dani with one arm and fixing their plates with the other. "There she is, Dani girl! The matriarch!"

"Ugh, don't call me that," Miranda told him with a smile. "Makes me feel old."

"Well, you are."

"You think I'm old!?"

"No, you are the matriarch of our little family." He put their plates on the table. The smell of pancakes, eggs and bacon wafted into her nostrils. She was so glad that she'd married a man who knew his way around the kitchen. She waved him off and grabbed the fork he was holding out for her. He sat down next to her and Miranda said a quick prayer before they started eating and talking. "Imagine years from now our grandchildren and great-grands looking to us for wisdom." His voice was thoughtful. "Can you imagine?"

"Yes," she answered softly. "I can." He looked up at her. "Don't drop any syrup on my daughter."

"She doesn't need any syrup, she's sweet already." They both smiled at the girl who was sleeping stilly in her father's arms.

Miranda swallowed. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"I was going to ask you that."

"Well, I was going to prop my feet up and watch some movies. Chat a bit with my baby. My babies." She reached over and touched his cheek.

"Sounds idyllic," he responded. Dani made noises as her parents ate and talked. "I miss this."

"What?" She said drinking some orange juice.

"The relaxing." She put her fork down. "I mean, God knows I love going to work and running from game to game, but I wish we could do this more often. As a family. Slow down and relax."

Miranda nodded slowly. "We have to make it a point to do it more often." Poking the last piece of pancake and easing it between her lips, she continued: "The boys will be off to college soon and we don't really want to miss this time." Ben watched her with a sly grin. "Okay, what now? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Look at you being all wistful."

"Hormones," they said together, laughing loudly and waking their daughter. Dani began crying and their laughter volume doubled.

"Dani or kitchen?" Miranda asked.

Ben winked at her. "I'll do both."

She knew he would say that. If it were up to him, she'd never lift a finger. "No, no, I'll go find us something to watch while you straighten up in here."

"If that's what you want," he said standing up and handing over Dani, kissing them both in the process. Miranda sat in the kitchen for a little bit, watching him. "I thought you were going to change her."

"I will. I'm just enjoying the view."

Five minutes later, she was in the living room making sure Danielle was content in her bouncer. On the sofa, she got comfortable, answering emails from her mentor, Webber and her mentee, Karev, who were splitting her chiefly duties while she was on maternity leave. Miranda thought that she would hate the break from work the way she had nearly seventeen years ago, but she didn't. When Tuck was a baby, she had a firm place in the hospital, but she was on a career path designed for men and that didn't include children. So, she worked hard, holding fast to her position and sacrificing time with her family. Something she regretted often, but seeing how Tuck turned out, Miranda knew that she'd made the right decision. But this time—this time! She had blazed a trail for herself and for the women behind her. Her job was safe and would be there when she returned, daughter on her hip and in her arms. Miranda closed her laptop, turned off her tablet and picked up the dozing Dani.

Sometimes when the girl slept, Miranda had to dissuade herself from waking the baby. There was so much she wanted to share with her. Instead of following that inane thought, she'd began journaling; hoping that her daughter would find guidance in her words later in life. Reaching into her bag, she pulled it out and put pen to paper. A quarter of the way through, Dani began crying. Smiling, Miranda picked the baby up. "Yes, yes." Listening to the cries closely, Miranda changed her diaper and then settled the girl against her chest. Dani's bright eyes looked up at her as she ate. "My pretty girl. My brilliant girl," she chuckled. Both of her parents were beautiful with IQs through the roof. Not to toot her own horn, but she was such a lucky girl.

Ben emerged from the kitchen and sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. "And this is just a reminder that your daddy is one of the greatest men to ever exist." Dani released her breast. "Thank you." She threw a cloth over her shoulder, holding Dani while rubbing her back. An easy burp left the tiny body and Miranda offered her other breast, wincing a little. This part she didn't miss. "He is pretty amazing. We're both very blessed." Her husband tightened his grasp on her. "And your brothers will always have your back and you will always have people in your corner, I promise." Dani finished eating and Miranda fixed her shirt.

"Are you trying to shatter my heart into pieces?" Ben asked, reaching for Dani. He took the cloth from Miranda's shoulder and put it on his own.

"Not everything's about you, Benjamin," she smiled.

"Well, you're the one bragging to my daughter about how awesome I am."

"And I'd do it again." They kissed quickly. As she turned the TV on, both of their phone beeped. Both Tuck and Joey were texting in their family group asking for rides. Miranda looked at Ben, laying against the arm of the sofa with Dani on his chest. "I'll go."

"You're sure?"

She stood up, nodding. "You dropped them off. I can pick them up." Miranda sent them messages telling them she was on the way.

"See, baby girl, that's why I married your mama."

Miranda went upstairs to change shirts, kissed her husband and daughter and was gone. She picked up Tuck first. He threw his stuff into the trunk and hopped in the front seat. "Ma, can we get some food please?" Tuck asked. "I am starving."

"I get no 'hey,' no hello?"

His cheeks reddened and he hugged her. "Hi, ma." She made a face while shaking her head.

At the gym, the eldest teen jumped into the backseat, saying hello and hugging her from behind. "Food. Please," Joey said looking at her in the mirror.

"Yes," she answered, pulling into the nearest fast-food restaurant. The three of them talked as they headed home. In the driveway, she said: "The first thing you two need to do is shower. Y'all have stunk up my car." They laughed, walking into the house.

Ben met them at the door. "Dani is asleep," he whispered. "How was practice? And the scrimmage?"

Miranda let her boys talk and found Dani peacefully sleeping in her bouncer. She rocked it softly, the rhythm lulling her to sleep. "Ohhh!" The shouts made her eyes pop open. She saw the three of them standing around Dani who was wriggling on a folded blanket on top of the coffee table.

"That doesn't smell all that good," Tuck said.

"Smells like you after practice," Ben replied with a chuckle.

"Ugh, Pops, just change her," Joey added. Miranda held in her laughter.

"I'm not. You two are going to."

Ben sat on the edge of the sofa that she was sitting on. He looked down at her and winked. They watched as the teens fumbled through changing Dani's very full diaper. "I think it's on backwards," Joey said.

"Nah, look at the tabs, we're right," Tuck beamed. The two of them high-fived. Ben helped Miranda sit up as Tuck picked Dani up carefully. "She's good to go."

Staring at the three of them, Miranda felt a rush of happiness. It overwhelmed her to the point that she began tearing up. "You okay?" Ben asked kissing the side of her head.

"Yes," she said honestly. "I am."

"They're beautiful, right?" She nodded.

"Do you two know that we can see you?" Joey said looking at them.

"And we can hear you," Tuck threw in.

Miranda felt a smile hit her face. "That was exactly our point." The five of them were quiet for exactly four seconds before Joey asked if he could go out. They all looked at her for an answer. "Yes," she said.

Tuck stared at "Me too?"

"You two be back at ten or face your mother's rage," Ben told them.

She scoffed. "There will be no rage, just disappointment." Miranda looked at her husband to see him threatening the teens who were laughing.

With the boys gone, dinner was a mixture of leftovers and fast-food. When they were finished, Miranda, Ben and Dani watched a movie in the living room. She lay between his legs, drinking tea while he sipped on a beer. "That was good. I'd never seen that one before," he said yawning.

"Do you go in tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Ready for bed?"

Miranda turned on her stomach awkwardly, kissing his chin. "After a little make out session," she whispered.

"Damn right." Ben kissed her lips softly, holding the back of her head. His hands roamed over her body slowly. "The boys are gone."

Laughing, she touched the front of his shirt. "There are some sounds that our daughter doesn't need to hear and that is one of them."

His fingers found the bottom of her shirt and pushed it up, snaking up to her chest. He caressed her left breast heading for her nipple. Miranda held her breath as Dani made a noise snapping her out of her trance. Kissing once more, they sat up and went upstairs. After changing her into the cutest onesie, Miranda put Dani on the bed beside her, watching her sleep as Ben showered.

A soft knock on her open bedroom door garnered her attention. Tuck was standing there. "Hey, ma. I'm back."

She looked at her watch. "Fifteen minutes early," she said with a nod. "Have fun?"

"Yes, ma'am." They heard the front door open and close. "We're up here," Tuck called out to Joey.

"So, where did you go?" Miranda asked Tuck.

He took off his sneakers. "Cayden's." Tuck and Cayden had been best friends for years. "We jumped on his trampoline, played video games, just chilled."

Miranda nodded as Joey joined them. "Hey, Mama B," the older teen said yawning.

"And where did you go?"

The teen blushed. "Journey's house." Miranda smiled. Joey had been dating for Journey for a few months. Ben walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "And don't worry, her parents were home."

"That's good," she said.

"Hey, dad," Tuck greeted at the same time Joey was saying: "Hey, Pops."

"I hope y'all had fun," Ben responded going to his dresser. "The three of us are getting up in the morning to help your Aunt Ros move."

The teens groaned. "I'm going to remember that when she tries to pay you two." Tuck and Joey looked at each other and started making excuses for their grumblings. "I thought so. Go and get some sleep."

"Okay," the said simultaneously.

"I love you," Miranda called after them. She smushed her body beneath the covers. Finally dressed, Ben lifted Dani from the bed. "Say goodnight to your mommy," he said softly, putting the sleeping baby up to her face.

"Goodnight, baby." He placed the girl in the bassinet and then got into the bed behind Miranda, outlining her body with his. She sighed. "Baby, I feel like I haven't done anything all day. Which I know I did, but…" She huffed loudly. "Why am I so tired? I mean, I was tired before, but that was after surgery and moving all day and bossing people around."

"You still do plenty of that last one," he added.

Miranda elbowed him gently. "Is this what I have to look forward to? Just days of being tired while seemingly doing nothing." Ben kissed the back of her head. "I don't ever remember being this tired even when Tuck was a baby."

He took a deep breath. "It's only been six weeks; your body just… has to adjust. And it will adjust."

"Okay." Miranda released the breath didn't know she'd been holding. She really hoped he was right but was genuinely happy that she'd settled down with a man who knew her. How to make her feel better, when to back off and when to push.

"If it doesn't, you can become a stay-at-home mom."

"You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?"

She tried to move away, but somehow Ben had tightened the grasp he had on her waist. "You can let me be your sugar daddy."

"Benjamin Anthony Warren, no one thinks you're funny." Miranda smiled, glad that he couldn't see the amusement painted on her face. He laughed in her ear. "Go to sleep."

When Miranda didn't feel the weight of Ben's body next to hers, she opened her eyes to see that both her husband and her daughter were no longer in the room. A small light was on in the nursery and she followed it. She stood in the hallway, out of open door. Dani's whimpering almost made her burst into the room. Instead, she waited. "Shhh, baby girl. It's okay." He sat down on the beanbag and Dani began crying. "Dani girl, you gotta go to sleep," he pleaded. "I have to work in a few hours, but I don't want to wake your mom because she does so much already." Ben's exhaustion had him confessing to the girl. Miranda watched him stand up and walk some more. "I can't wait until you get older and we can dump you on your brothers." Miranda laughed and Ben turned to face her.

"Are you spying on us?" He asked in a hushed tone.

She bit her bottom lip and stepped into the room. "Try the rocking chair."

"She's going to explode if I do." All it took was one look for him try her suggestion. He sat down easily and began rocking gently. "You're a genius," he beamed. "Dani, your mother is brilliant. She is my favorite person."

Miranda touched her warm cheeks and moved the beanbag closer to them, sitting down. "Are you trying to shatter my heart into pieces?" She asked winking at him in the dim lighting.

"Never," she said putting his head back. They hadn't noticed that their daughter was now sleeping deeply. "So, when you said she doesn't like the rocking chair, you meant she doesn't like it when I sit in it." Ben shrugged as she hit his knee. Miranda looked up at him to see his eyes closed. "Let's get to bed."

"A few more minutes," he replied quietly.

She sighed settling into the malleable furniture, "A few more minutes."