6

Sonic

"You really like her, don't you?" I asked. Silver and I were standing at our lockers, exchanging our books before we headed down to lunch.

"Yeah," Silver said with a sigh. "She's just…she's different, ya know? She initiated a whole debate with me over the top three toppings on pizzas. She really picked through my mind. I liked that about her. I think I'm gonna take her out again this weekend."

I raised my eyebrows. "You've known the girl three days and you're already whipped. This is terrifying."

Silver rolled his eyes. "Wait until you find a girl you actually like and then we'll talk about terrifying. I wouldn't be surprised if you followed her around like a love struck puppy and obeyed her every command. The right girl will probably have you wrapped around her finger."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "That's where you're wrong, esé. I won't be finding a girl I actually like. I'm not ready for the commitment and lovey dovey bullshit. I get that you are, and I completely support that. You deserve to be happy. I, however, am going to continue being a ho."

Silver laughed. "I guess I'll have to support that as long as you're happy – and not dying of either some type of sexual disease or from the wrath of your baby momma's father."

"Don't worry. I've been hoeing safely."

"Good. I'm not looking forward to being a godfather anytime soon."

"But I am looking forward to being a best man soon."

Silver shook his head. "Just don't get me in trouble the night before I get married. Remember that I am getting married for a reason."

"And remember I'll still be a ho so I'll be needing some strippers for a reason."

Silver laughed. He opened his mouth to respond when a hand collided with my shoulder, shoving me harshly against my locker.

I turned around to see Scourge and some of his friends walking past us. A smirk painted Scourge 's face, and his friends were chuckling quietly.

"Is there a problem?" I asked.

Scourge , and his crew, stopped. "Yeah. The fact that you haven't been sent back to your country yet."

I took a step towards Scourge , but Silver grabbed my arm. "I'm gonna send you to your grave if you keep talking," I snapped, ignoring Silver 's grip on my arm.

"Stop, Sonic. Drop it for right now. Handle it after school," Silver murmured.

"You should be sending a postcard to your father. Oh wait, I forgot: you don't know where he is." Scourge laughed. "He's probably off fucking some young broad on the beach and enjoying life without you and the rest of your fucked-up family." His smile fell. "Fucking illegal alien."

I shook off Silver 's hand and charged towards the other boy.

My vision went red as I raised my fist and swung at Scourge . My fist collided with Scourge 's jaw, sending him stumbling back a couple of steps.

Scourge didn't stay in his stunned daze for long. He immediately swung back at me.

I ducked underneath his fist and sent a strong punch to Scourge 's stomach.

He leaned over from the pain, and I took the opportunity to kick him down to the ground.

I lunged onto him and bombarded his face with lethal punches. I felt Scourge get a few cheap shots in at my cheek, but I didn't stop. I kept punching, intending to shut his ass up for good.

It was only a few moments until my arms were forcefully restrained by one of the

security guards. My disadvantage led to Scourge getting a few free hits. I kicked him a few times as the guard pulled me to my feet.

Scourge tried to pounce at me, but another security guard stood in front of him, holding his arms down. He smiled through his bleeding lip. "Come on, Mexico, is that all you got?" he taunted. The security guard began to forcefully push him towards the right end of the now crowded hallway. "You hit like a fucking pussy."

"You weren't saying that on Friday when I knocked you the fuck out," I replied, struggling in the guard's grip as he pushed me in the opposite direction . "Five more seconds and I would've done that shit again!"

"Oh this isn't over you fucking illegal alien!"

"And when you strike, I'll beat your ass for a third time! We can keep this up for the rest of the school year, motherfucker! I'll beat your ass every damn day if I have to!"

The security guard finally managed to push me around a corner where I couldn't see Scourge anymore. He dragged me to the counseling office, ignoring my physical and verbal protests, and tossed me into Mr. Connor's office.

The older man was standing at his desk with his arms crossed against his chest.

I forced a smile at him. "Hey, I went a whole week without fighting in school. It's not my best record, but it's a start for the New Year," I said.

"Sit down, Sonic," Mr. Connors demanded.

My smile vanished. "Don't fucking call me that," I snapped.

"Watch your tone, young man," Mr. Connors said sternly.

"No! You watch what the fuck you call me! My name is Sonic!"

"Your name is going to be inmate three-three-four-six-seven if you

keep it up. Now sit down and we'll have a conversation like grown men." He held my fiery gaze. "Sit. Down."

I continued to glare at the older man as I walked to the cushioned seat across from his desk.

Mr. Connors sat down with a sigh. "Why were you fighting with this kid? You've never had a problem with him before."

"He started it. He pushed me into my locker, and he keeps calling me an illegal alien. You expect me to stand there and let him disrespect me?"

"I expect you to learn how to be a man and choose your battles wisely. There's going to be people all throughout your life calling you this and that because English isn't your first language, because you're from a different country, because you're going through different circumstances than they are. Sometimes people are going to be rude. It's up to you how

you choose to react and handle these people. I understand your first reaction is to punch them, but that's not how things are solved in the real world. You have to gather your pride – and your temper – and walk away."

"The moment I walk away is the moment they think they won; it's the moment they think they can walk all over me and continue to taunt me. They're not going to stop until I stand up for myself and fight back."

Mr. Connors shook his head. "There are better ways than fighting, Sonic. There's also mediated conversations, talking one-on-one in an amicable matter, or simply just walking away as I've said before. You've got to stop letting everything bring you to this point, Sonic. You can't

throw a punch at everyone who decides to push the wrong button."

"Yes I can, and I'm more than happy to deal with the consequences after the fact."

He sighed. "Sonic, what is going on with you? I understand you have a temper; you've had it since you were young, and that's alright: we can work on it. But I don't understand this lust for violence and isolation that you have. It's not healthy, Sonic, and quite frankly it's worrying me and your family. We don't know how to help you, and you're not letting us help you when we try. So you've got to start talking to me. We've got to start getting to the root of these problems. What is it that you want out of fighting?"

I shrugged.

"Are you getting cathartic relief? Does it make you feel better when

you fight someone?"

I shrugged again.

"Why do you push away everyone who cares about you? Your family, your friends, girls; you keep them all at a distance for what reason?"

"What's the point of keeping them close?" I asked. "They're all just going to leave anyway. Why open up when people are either going to abandon you?"

The counselor raised an eyebrow. "Are you afraid of people leaving you? Is that why you distance yourself or leave before someone breaks down that wall you've been building? You're leaving before you're left behind?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," I stated. "I just don't see the point so therefore I don't put in the effort."

"Did your father say goodbye when he left?" Mr. Connors asked cautiously.

I averted my gaze. I didn't want to talk about him.

"Manic once told me that you were very close to your father. You

looked up to him, am I correct?"

"This isn't relevant to the conversation," I mumbled.

"It is extremely relevant. Each time we try to talk about this, you say it isn't, but it is. How old were you when your father left?"

"Twelve," I murmured almost inaudibly.

"What was he like?"

Silence followed.

"Was he kind? Was he mean? Was he smart? Was he a good father to you? Was he around much when he still resided with you and your family?" Mr. Connors waited for a response, but I kept my eyes

glued to the floor. "You have to talk to me, Sonic. I'm just trying to help you."

I looked up at him. "I don't have to do shit," I snapped. "I don't have to talk to you. I don't have to work on my temper. I don't have to stop fighting. And I damn sure don't need help from you or anyone else."

"Are you sure about that, Sonic? Because if you keep this up, there are two very distinct options that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I especially wouldn't want to see you taking either of those roads."

"Don't fucking call me that," I grumbled.

"Its prison or death at this point, Sonic," Mr. Connors said firmly. "You're too smart for that kind of future. Now either you work with me or you end up somewhere I know you don't want to be."

"And if I don't want to work with you, what are you going to do? Give up on me? Abandon me?"

Mr. Connors fell silent.

I scowled as I looked away. "That's what I thought. You're just like everyone else."

The phone on Mr. Connors' desk rang. He quickly answered it and listened to the principal's voice on the other end. He hung up with a deep sigh. "Come on. Your brother is waiting for you in the principal's office."

I got up from his seat and impatiently waited at the door for Mr.

Connors. Tapping my foot to a beat in my head, I kept my eyes trained to the ground.

"For the record," Mr. Connors said as he stood across from me at the door. "I would never give up on you. Even after you walk across that stage in June, my door is always open – and I'll hunt you down to check on you if I have to. Understand?"

"Yes," I murmured.

Mr. Connors gently patted my shoulder before he opened the door.

I followed him down to the principal's office where my brother was waiting, fully dressed in his black jumpsuit for work.

Manic glared at me as he entered the room. I had half a mind to flip him off, but it wouldn't be wise to start a fight with him on school grounds. We could duke it out when we got home.

"Mr. Guerra," Principal Miller said with a tight frown. She was an older woman with graying brown hair, dark skin, and piercing gaze. "Weren't you just in my office before winter break?"

"Yes." I feigned a smile. "How was your holiday? Get anything good for Christmas? I bet your husband got you those earrings you wanted. How are the grandkids? Still doing well in school?"

Principal Miller sighed as she shook her head. "What am I going to do with you? You've almost officially broken the record as the student who's been in my office more than they are actually in class."

"There's someone who's been in here more than I have? What a legend."

Principal Miller took a deep breath. "I honestly don't know what to do with you anymore, Sonic. I'm running out of punishments because nothing seems to work for you. The suspensions, the community service hours, the in-school suspension; you breeze through all of them and run

head first into trouble three days later – if less than that." She rubbed her temples. "Your grades are the only things keeping you away from expulsion at this point. I just…I don't know what to do."

I shrugged. I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Well, the fight didn't last that long, and technically he shoved me first so I was defending myself. Thus means, suspension for three days. Shave off Friday too if you want because there's no point for me to come in for one day. You'll send my schoolwork home with Cat, and you'll see me on Monday."

"We've gone through this way too many times," Principal Miller sighed. "Four days it is. Go home. Your sister will bring you back your school work. When you come back on Monday please behave. I want to be able to hand you your diploma and thank the heavens you'll be out of my hair."

I smiled. "You'll miss me when I'm gone."

The principal's frown deepened. "Get out of my office, Mr. Guerra."

I complied with her request, brushing past my brother as I walked out.

Manic caught up to me, but he didn't speak.

Neither of us dared to say a word to each other until we were in the privacy of our own home.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Manic asked as he shut the front door.

"Tons of things. I'll let you take your pick of which one you want to use to justify whatever little speech you're about to give me."

Manic rolled his eyes. "How many more times do I have to leave work to pick your ass up because you don't know how to act?"

I narrowed my eyes. "You're not obligated to leave work and pick me up."

"So you expect mom to do it? You want her to leave her job at the hospital to come home and deal with your bullshit? She's stressed out enough as it is."

"Well it's not her fault her husband decided to leave her alone with three kids and a house; it's no one's fault, right?"

"It's not her fault, Sonic. But of course you wouldn't know that. You had your head stuck so far up dad's ass that you couldn't see anything other than his stupid father of the year façade."

I glared at my brother. "Fuck off, Manic. Save your little punishment speech for someone who actually needs it and leave me the hell alone."

"I can't leave you the hell alone, Sonic. I'm not going to sit here and let you dig yourself into a bad situation. God knows since dad isn't around to take care of you and the girls, I have to."

"No one asked you to take care of us. Mom didn't ask you to help her take care of the bills, and she sure as hell didn't ask you to play the father role."

"She didn't have to ask me. I stepped up like the eldest son should. I took dad's absence like a man unlike you. I don't know how many fucking times I have to tell you he's not coming back before you finally understand being angry and causing all this trouble isn't going to change anything; when are you going to understand he's gone for good this time?"

"When are you going to understand that you'll never be him? No matter how much you help mom, how much you try to reprimand Sonia and I, and how much you manage this household: you'll never be our father."

With that, I turned around and stormed up to my room. Fuck Manic - and fuck the son-of-a-bitch I thought was a father.