Don't You Dare
James-Freaking-Potter made Lily Evans love him. She doesn't know how it happened, she can't remember the exact moment he went from being a complete toe-rag into being the guy she wanted to…marry? Since when has Lily Evans been the one to pine?
Chapter 1: James...?
Needless to say, I own nothing! The song is an amazing one sung by Alexz Johnson and the title is Don't You Dare. I think it helps to listen to it when you're reading this, it really sets the mood!
Dark cloud moving in
Just one fall of rain
Would wash away
Wash away the pain
There were dark clouds on the horizon. That meant one thing to the inhabitants of Great Britain: storms. Lily gazed outside the window and saw the clouds rolling in the sky, casting a dark haze over Hogwarts' grounds. In the distance she could see the wall of rain that would find its way to Hogwarts. Of course, this was to be expected during the stormy month that was October. It would be like this until snow came.
Oh, snow. The thought brought a smile to Lily's face, causing everything to light up around her, even the fire red of her hair. But she didn't want snow right now, no matter how much she loved the winter wonderland that Hogwarts became in the winter.
Rain is what Lily was praying for. Just some rain to match the feelings clouding over her mind. Normally, school was supposed to occupy her brain, supposed to being the key words here. No, for quite some time now something, or someone, else had been occupying her brain. A certain annoying prick of a Head Boy, James-Freaking-Potter, has taken up residence in her mind. She'd finally admitted to herself that she had some sort of feelings for him. Much to her chagrin, it wasn't even platonic feelings; instead, it was something much
deeper. After all the years of him asking her out, what Lily had always assumed to be nothing short of a game, she found herself falling for the raven haired Gryffindor. And it frightened her. The thought of willingly putting her heart out on the line and the small chance that it could be broken… It down right terrified the strong willed seventh year. Maybe that's why she'd said no to him since day one. At least, that's what she told herself, and her best friends Alice and Mary.
From across the Head's common room, James had been staring at Lily. No fleeting glances, no seconds where he'd break the stare and pretend to look elsewhere, no, James just stared at her. He assumed she was too interested on how dreary the weather had seemed to be turning to even bother looking his way, but he just knew that she felt his eyes on him. She always knew, even if she would not admit it.
He made it to seventh year and got Head Boy, was he surprised? Not in the least. James had learned to accept the sometimes eccentric ways of that who was Albus Dumbledore, their one and only Headmaster. In all honestly, and ego speaking, James would've said that the old man cooked up this plan to make sure that he and Lily would finally get together, just as James knew them fated to be. But maybe that was just the optimistic, egotistic teenage guy speaking in him.
However, he'd not deny how much he'd manage to change this year. He'd cleaned up his act, well for the most part. He is James Potter. He couldn't just stop being a Marauder now could he? And he did it all for Lily. He didn't really change; he just used some manners here and then and avoided pissing her off. He wanted her so bad he could feel it. But year after year, day after day all he ever received from Lily was rejection. However, James wouldn't give up. He'd waited; he knew patience was a virtue. He already waited seven years, surely that had to be some kind of record. Sirius couldn't last two weeks without a good snogging buddy.
James turned his head to the window and watched the storm brew.
Just one ray of sun, to warm my skin
Rid me of the cold you're drowning
Whenever he was with Lily this year. She was just…cold. It was as if she had purposely closed herself off from him, from anyone of the male species that could possibly have any feelings for her other than platonic ones. This wouldn't be so different, but she went out of her way to avoid talking to him. The only time he
really got a chance to prove he changed was during prefect meetings and when they had to schedule Hogsmeade visits.
Lily got up, and sighed. Rain: that meant marching through the mud to the greenhouses in less than an hour. She loved the rain, yes, but not so much the mud. Just as this thought rang throughout her head, it started pouring. She placed her slender, five three form on the couch, allowing her auburn hair to cascade down her back as she curled up, leaning her back against the arm rest. Hugging her knees to her chest, she sighed and gazed into the flames of the fire. Her thoughts continued to roam, all centered on a tall handsome head boy who was sitting across the room from her.
Startled by Lily's sudden movement, he watched as she went from the windowsill to the cozy couch in front of the fire. He knew she was in deep thought about something, as she had that look on her face that she always had whenever she was trying to answer a particularly tough question from Slughorn or McGonagall. Deciding to continue this new thing he'd been doing since the first of the new school year, it's called civility, James went to the couch and took a seat next to her and sat like Lily was sitting, only opposite.
"Are you alright Lily?" James loved the way her name rolled of his tongue. Lily Evans, Lily Potter, Lily Evans-Potter…Lily Potter just had a ring to it that made it so right. Since they were both Heads, they had this truce: no pranks on innocent bystanders for James (innocent being the key word here) and no more goofing off. Basically, if James even wanted to talk to Lily, whether or not she still called him Potter, he had to be the utmost perfect gentleman in the world. And so far, it seemed like she only talked to him when they had head boy and girl business.
The sound of her name uttered in a voice she'd spent the better half of her nights dreaming about, brought her out of her dream like trance. "Oh, Potter. Yes, I'm quite alright, just thinking about things as per usual." Civility. Lily couldn't say this was any weirder than the way she and James would constantly find something to argue about. The whole student body seemed to think it weird as well. She was glad she wasn't the only one. Even though she loved talking to him as much as she knew he loved talking to her, she'd never let that leave her head or the pinky swears done by Mary and Alice.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Score one for James. Talking about your feelings to a guy who is genuinely willing to sit there and listen was what girls wanted. James knew no girl could resist it, and he was, in truth, sincere in his efforts. He had half the mind to just walk away, thinking Lily would just reject his offer.
I could say that I don't care
But the truth is I'd follow you anywhere
I've been waiting such a long, long time
Don't you dare change your mind
She could say no, but maybe she'd slip her secret as to why she had begun to be so distant and cold since she realized the feelings that lay in her heart. But she could say yes and talk about whatever she wanted. James Potter was sitting in the palm of her hands, and she could control this moment she had with him. Sure, she knew girls that would almost kill to have what they thought she had with James. Was Lily ready to admit her feelings to James? Could she really tell him that, after all these years, she wanted him and only him? Nothing could even change her mind as she knew in her heart just how she felt about the boy who had wanted her since first year.
Or had he really given up on her? Maybe this was just an attempt to be friends, as she'd previously lead him to believe that could ever only be the thing she wanted from him; a platonic friendship. Fear began to slowly ensnare her mind as began to think of all the possible doubts that James was making her think. That prick, he was doing this to her. He was making her feel this way. James Potter made Lily Evans love him. Did he really love her back as he had claimed all years previous?
Fear was the one thing that was always holding her back, the fear of uncertainty. She didn't know for sure how he felt, or that they would actually be together like they had both dreamed about for quite some time.
Seems so close to me but still beyond my reach…
Calling me and playing hide and seek
Look behind that door I'm the one you been searching for and I'm not a little girl anymore
She wanted him to say something else. Ask her out maybe? Could she give a different answer than the only one she'd been giving him since the very first day he asked her out? Too many questions were flying through her mind, but it'd only been a few seconds since James had asked her if she wanted to talk about it.
"Actually, Potter…I would." Lily took a deep breath after she finished her sentence. Four words neither of them thought they'd hear uttered from Lily Evans' mouth. And yet she had managed to say yes to one of his questions. Lily wasn't going to be all that brave; even though she was a Gryffindor, she wasn't that brave when it came to matters of her heart and emotional state. She would talk about one thing that had been bothering her: her sister Petunia. She knew James would probably find a muggle family boring, sibling rivalry so overrated as he was an only child (even though the Potter's practically adopted Sirius), but she found herself wanting to talk to James. She cursed him in her mind for it, she had been doing so well (not really) ignoring him.
I could say that I don't care
But the truth is I'd follow you anywhere
I've been waiting such a long, long time
Don't you dare change your mind
A smile grew on James's face as he nodded for Lily to continue with whatever it was she wanted to talk about. He did it. He finally got Lily-freaking-Evans to say yes to something he asked! It was a start and he wasn't about to screw that up either. He sat up and looked at her almond shaped emerald eyes and paid close attention to her. It wasn't often that the girl he was completely head over heels for just opened up and started talking about whatever may be plaguing her mind.
And so Lily talked about her family. Oddly enough, James managed to stay attentive while she ranted about how she was worried about her parents and how they would factor in with the war, or how her ignorant sister Petunia hated her guts and how she didn't want her only sister hating her for the rest of her life. Just normal worries that Lily had every day, and James was sure she had already said this rant plenty of times before to either Mary or Alice, as it was too well said for it not to be something already talked about. But he just let her talk. He loved listening to her. She could spend the next two hours talking about Ancient Runes and he would be able to stay awake listening to her. There was just something about the way the words came from her mouth, how she lit up in her eyes when she was talking about something with a passion behind it, or when she would talk with her hands- which she couldn't seem to stop doing. It was all the little things James found himself loving the most.
Don't wonder round looking
For someone to replace me
Don't wonder round wasting
The rest of your life
Don't wonder round waiting
For someone else to save you
And don't you make the same mistake twice
Lily finished her rant maybe an hour later. James hadn't really said a word, except for the appropriate comment about how Lily wasn't being stupid or irrational in thinking that way or doing that. Lily felt much better when the rant was done, as if someone had lifted a weight from her shoulders. Lily felt amazing. James really helped her. It was then it finally hit her: she didn't want him to be over her, not as she had just realized how she felt. He had once said he would never find another quite like her. So that meant no replacements…right? She reassured herself that he couldn't give up now. Could he?
James just sat there, and then he did something that had gotten him slapped
many times before. He hugged her. No, kiss, no grope, just a comforting hug that he sensed she needed. He felt her tense up at first, but then she eventually warmed into the hug, raised her arms around his back, and hugged him, feeling his toned chest against her cotton tee shirt. She loved the feeling of being in his arms. And that just added to the fears. What if he felt nothing? What if…?
The thought was cut off when the hug broke and Lily immediately felt the loss of his body from hers. She almost moaned in protest, almost like a spoiled child who didn't get their way for the first time. Biting her bottom lip to keep from doing anything that would lead to exposing her big secret that she held, her infatuation for a Mr. James Potter, Lily hugged her knees again.
James decided it was bed time and he had to get off the couch. He had Quidditch practice in the morning, so he started to get off the couch. As soon as his right leg hit the floor, he felt a small hand on his forearm, stopping him from getting up any farther.
"Potter…?" She questioned and he looked at her. She took deep breath before continuing. "Thanks." Lily never thought she would be thanking him, let alone thanking him for letting her rant ;ike that.
"Any time, Lily, I'm here for you no matter what." James said very sincerely. Lily hoped this meant that his feelings were more than she feared they were, and that maybe she wasn't being too optimistic in thinking that he'd not been able to get over her, even after all the years of rejection.
"Really, it means along to me…James." Lily said and she knew it, for sure one hundred percent when she let his name roll off her tongue: she was crazy for James-freaking-Potter. Before letting him realize that she let it slip, she got up off the couch, and walked to her door to go to bed also.
I could say that I don't care
But the truth I'd follow you anywhere
I've been waiting such a long, long time
Don't you dare change your mind.
Whenever Lily reached her door, she turned for a quick look at James, who was standing at his door now across the common room. "Good night, James." Lily said as she turned the handle to open the door to her bedroom.
"Good night, Lily." James called out. She called me…James? Maybe he was dreaming. Yes, that was it. Lily Evans didn't just spend that time ranting about her home life, or called him James…She just didn't. But she had. And she did, twice. He walked to his bed feeling elated. Maybe this could be the start of something new.
Surely it could be, after all these years? They deserved it. As long as neither one of them dared to change their mind, they would finally get their happily ever after.