Chapter 7: Dying
Nessie's POV
"Nessie that is not even remotely funny," Justin said. "Don't joke about something like that,"
"It is not a joke Justin. I wouldn't joke about something like that. I have stage IV lung cancer. There are numerous tumors in my lungs. I am going to die. According to what the doctor told me I only have 3-6 months left to live,"
"No Ness that can't be true,"
"But it-"
"No!" he yelled so loud that I jumped. "I refuse to believe that is true. I refuse to believe that I'm going to lose you so soon," his voice trembled. His eyes brimming with tears. I tore my gaze away from his face and looked at the sleeping wolf pups instead. They looked so beautiful and peaceful.
I took my cellphone out and took a few pictures of them. Even though they were dead asleep they were so beautiful to look at. I didn't want animal control to take them away. I wanted to take them home with me. As irrational as that sounded.
"When were you going to tell me?" he asked.
"I just found out about it,"
"That's not what I asked you Nessie. When were you going to tell me? I can see that you didn't want to tell me anything. So what was your plan then? For me not to find out until you had already died? Was that it?"
I forced myself to look at Justin. I could see hurt, pain, and even anger inside of him.
"Everything is still so jumbled up in my head right now. My brain is still trying to process the information. I wanted to wait because I didn't want to hurt you,"
"You didn't want to hurt me? You're the one who is dying and you didn't want to hurt me? Ness this is the kind of thing you tell your best friend of 11 years. This is the kind of thing that you tell your boyfriend. This is when you need the support of the people who love you the most,"
"You are right,"
"Ness you should know better then to think it's better to keep something big like this a secret,"
"I know. You're right. It was stupid of me to even think of trying to keep that secret from you,"
"Isn't there anything at all that can be done? I mean Isn't there any chance at all that you can survive?"
I sighed. This conversation was beginning to wear on me emotionally. "The doctor said I could have surgery to remove the tumors and chemotherapy will help. However it would only extend my life a few extra months. He was pretty adamant that I was going to die,"
"There has to be something we can do,"
We. I liked the way he said that. "I'm not sure there is. I'm going to go through with the surgery and the chemotherapy. I'm going to do what I can to stay alive as long as possible. Even if it only buys me a few extra months,"
"What about college?"
Yes. What about college? "I doubt I will be able to attend any school in the fall even if I am still alive by some miracle," I felt like I was about to start crying again. I'd been accepted into some of the top schools and now because of my stupid illness I would never have the chance to attend even one class.
I took several deep breaths to steady my nerves. Justin put his hand on top of mine. I didn't pull away. "No matter what Nessie we are in this together. You and I,"
"I'm surprised you're not running for the hills," I said in what I thought was a joking tone of voice.
"If you really think that I would go running for the hills then you don't know me as well as you think you do," he said.
"It was a joke. Not a funny one though I guess,"
"Not really Ness,"
I pondered on what I should say next. I didn't really know what to say after dropping a bombshell like this on him. I just hoped that no matter what happened to me he would be okay. "Justin?"
"Yeah?"
My breath got caught in my throat when I realized how hard he was fighting tears. He was trying hard to keep it together for my sake. I could see that.
"I want you to tell me something,"
"Yeah what?"
"I want you to tell me that you'll be okay. I need to know that if anything happens you will be okay,"
"Okay? How could I ever possibly be okay if lost you?"
"Because unlike me you still have your full life ahead of you. You have a wonderful supportive family that will be there for you. I want you to fulfill all of your dreams. I want you to go to college. I want you to have the career you've always dreamed of. I want you to meet a nice girl get married and have a family of your own. I may not be able to have those things but you still can. If I die I will die peacefully knowing that you will be alright,"
"I don't want to hear that you're going to die," he cried. "So please just stop,"
"Well I need to hear it,"
He didn't say anything and I decided it was best not to keep badgering him. Let him process this information on his own. Neither of us said another word on the subject anymore. I just focused on the sleeping wolf pups. I must have fallen asleep at some point without realizing it because all of a sudden Justin's dad was waking me up.
"Animal control is here," he said.
"So soon? Can't we keep them longer for observation?"
"You know that's out of my control," he said as he unhooked the IV's from both wolves.
"Are these the wolves in question?" a strange man I'd never seen before asked. There was another man behind him.
"Yes,"
"They're huge. Oh well. My partner and I will get them loaded into the truck,"
Both wolf pups were looking at us clearly scared by the entire situation. They both scooted to the very far ends of their cages when we opened the door to get them. They didn't want to go with either of the animal control officers.
"Let me try," I said. "They might be more comfortable with someone they already know,"
"Okay kid,"
I rolled my eyes. The reddish brown wolf pup approached me cautiously. I was actually surprised when she allowed me to slip the rope around her neck. She followed me out the door and to the truck. She put the breaks on really quickly and looked at me we with fear.
"It's okay," I assured her. She hesitant but eventually she jumped into cage and I locked the door. She looked absolutely terrified. My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked behind me and saw Justin coming with the gray wolf pup. Like her sister she hesitated to get in but eventually she did.
"Officer what's going to happen to the pups now? Are they going to a zoo,"
"No zoo wants them. We've called every zoo we could. We can't return them to the wild either without knowing where the mother is. So unfortunately we're going to have to euthanize them,"
"Euthanize them?!" my voice shot up five octaves. "Why?! They haven't done anything?! Can't someone just adopt them instead?!"
"Unfortunately no. They're wild animals so we can't adopt them out. Since no zoo will take them we don't have a choice. We'll put them to sleep as soon as we get back,"
"Put them to sleep? There has to be some else you can do. If not we saved them for nothing," I cried. Those wolves couldn't die.
"I'm sorry kid. There's nothing else we can do for them. Don't worry. It will be quick and painless,"
I watched in helpless terror as they drove away with those wolf pups. Their sad eyes haunted me until they disappeared in the distance. I wanted to cry. For awhile I tried to keep myself busy to stop myself from thinking about those pups. But I failed miserably.
"Excuse me how can I help you?" I heard someone say upfront.
"This is going to sound odd but we're looking for two wolf pups,"
My heart skipped several beats. I sprinted out to the front and skidded to a halt when I saw three people. All three of them were beautiful. Extremely beautiful. From one glance I could tell that two of them were related to Dr. Cullen. The gold eyes and pale skin gave them away. But it was the guy with them that caught my attention. He was very tall. Probably more than six feet tall. He had russet colored skin and muscles everywhere. So many muscles...Was it suddenly 10 degrees hotter in here.
"Wolf pups?" I managed to say through my stupor. That caught their attention really quickly.
"Yes we're looking for three wolf pups," the beautiful girl said.
"Um okay. Who are you?"
"My name is Bella and this is Edward and Jacob. Yes we're looking for two wolf pups. It's urgent. We think they might be here,"
I fished around for my phone in my pocket and showed them the pictures I had taken of them. "Is this them?"
"Yes!" The hot guy named Jacob yelled. "We've been looking all over for them. Where are they?
"Don't you need a permit or something to own wolves?" I questioned and if that was the case why were they alone in the woods?
"Please just tell me they're here," he begged. "We have been looking all night for them,"
"They were here. My boyfriend and I found them in the woods while we were hiking yesterday. They'd both been shot several times by poachers. We rushed them here for emergency care. Luckily my boyfriend's parents were able to save them. Not that it matters anymore. Animal control came for them 45 minutes ago. They're going to euthanize both of them right away," I could feel the tears in my eyes threatening to overflow.
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