Chapter 15: Stupid

Nessie's POV

"Well that was the most awkward thing I have ever seen," Justin said.

"Tell me about it," I added.

"and she's still looking at me,"

"Well don't look back!" I scolded. A little bit of jealousy stirred up inside of me. I was about to say something when I heard my phone go off.

"Oh shit," I groaned.

"What? What's wrong?" Justin's eyes nearly bugged out of his eyes.

"I forgot there was a game today. If I miss another game I'm going to be in so much trouble,"

He looked at me in disapproval. "Are you sure that you should still play? I really don't think that's a good idea. I think you need tell coach that-"

"No," I stated firmly.

"But aren't you required to tell coach that you have a health problem that can prevent you from playing?"

"Only when I want to be prevented from playing. Which I don't,"

"But Ness-"

"Don't 'but Ness' me. I want to keep playing. I'm not going to let my diagnosis run my entire life. I want to keep up some semblance of normalcy as long as possible,"

"Who else have you told then?"

"Just you,"

"You haven't even told your aunt and uncle?" his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"Not yet. They get back home tomorrow so I'll probably tell them on Saturday,"

My guilt skyrocketed when I thought of what awaited my aunt and uncle when they got home. As much as I had tried to stop Carlisle from alerting the authorities about my aunt and uncle giving me cigarettes and alcohol since the age of seven I couldn't stop him. I could not convince him that they didn't deserve to be punished. Quite the opposite actually. He was extremely adamant that they deserved exactly what was coming. Ultimately they are the ones who are responsible for your cancer by getting you addicted to cigarettes at such a young age! He had all but yelled when I tried to convince him not to.

"Ness I can tell that you're a lot more worried than you're letting on,"

I shook my head. "No it's not that it's...Okay maybe a little," I was not about to tell Justin about the cigarettes. There was no doubt in my head that he would not see it any differently than Carlisle did.

"Okay since I obviously can't convince you to stop playing. Well what time is the game?"

"The game is at four o clock,"

"Alright so we still have a few hours. So what do you want to do?"

A devilish smile appeared on my face. "Do I even want to know what you're thinking?"

"Well don't you remember our discussion from the other day?"

"What? Oh! Oh...I see," he grinned.

"and this time there won't be any flat tire to get in our way,"

We cleared our tables and left. I could feel Leah watching us, mainly Justin, as we left. I was suddenly very nervous as I drove to my house. Justin seemed every bit as nervous as I was. He was just as inexperienced at this as I was. But I was determined to make this as special as I could.

If I was being completely honest with myself the main reason why I was doing this was because I wanted to experience sex before I died. I was going to be dead in a few months. So I couldn't wait to have all of the experiences that I wanted to have. There was nobody I wanted to share this most intimate of moments with other than Justin.

It started off slow. I tried to appear as calm as possible even though on the inside I was panicking. My heart was racing as we undressed. I closed my eyes as he climbed on top of me. I groaned when I felt him enter my body. At first it was painful. After awhile the pain eased and I was able to feel things I didn't even know were possible. I groaned again but this time in was in pleasure rather than pain. I could feel it coming. Then I suddenly I felt as if I had exploded all around him. Pleasure. Pure pleasure.

I wasn't ready for it to end and neither was he. It happened twice. Then it happened and a third and a fourth time. Then we decided to take a break. We had just collapsed on my bed when Justin. "Oh no! Fuck!" I was taken aback by his outburst since he never cursed.

"What?!"

"Damn it I'm such an idiot!"

"Justin are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you going to keep swearing and insulting yourself?"

"I forgot the damn condoms in my car! Jesus I'm so stupid!"

The blood drained from my face. Shit. Protection. Not once in my seductive planning did I think about using protection.

"It's going to be okay,""

"What do you mean it's going to be okay?! What if you get pregnant? "

"Then we will deal with it then,"

"Deal with it then? Deal with it then? Ness you're sick! It's not like you can just carry a baby to term while undergoing chemotherapy! You'll have to abort-"

"I will do no such thing!" I hissed. "Look we are thinking way ahead of ourselves. Let's just see what happens. Okay?"

Truth was that I felt like I was the idiot for not even thinking about using protection. Oh well. It was too late to do anything about that now. Right now it was time to get ready for the game. When I checked my phone I was surprised to see several messages from the Cullens asking me where I was. I had a few missed phone calls also. I'd turned my phone off completely when we got home. Now that I'd turned it back on my phone was flooding with messages.

I tried to think of what to say when I noticed the time again. Damn. I had to hurry or I was going to be late. I'll answer them later on. I had to speed to the park in order to make it there on time.

"There you are Ness. We were afraid you wouldn't make it in time," Royce said as soon as he saw me.

"I'm not missing anymore games. I promise," I felt like I was out of breath already. That was probably not a good sign.

"Good. I was starting to get worried about you,"

Justin was already sitting in the stands looking extremely irritated. He never liked my friendship with Royce. Though I never understood why. Royce was a nice guy that just happened to come from a rich family. I'd been friends since he moved here from Rochester, New York years ago and Justin never liked it.

I'd always found Royce's family to be rather fascinating actually. He was the sixth generation in his family's history to carry the name of Royce King. Though his family's legacy nearly came to an end in 1933 with the mysterious death of his great grandfather Royce King II.

I'd learned the entire history of his family when we were assigned a family history project a few years ago. In the early 1930s Royce King II had been engaged to a young woman named Rosalie. Everything was going well until she suddenly and mysteriously vanished a week before her wedding in April 1933. Nobody ever did find out what happened to her. But it didn't take Royce King II very long to find another bride. They got married only a few months after the disappearance of his first fiancé. It was said that over the next few months he'd started going crazy. His friends were my being murdered one by one and he feared that he was next. He was right. They found him dead in a hotel room one morning. He'd only gotten married two days before he was found dead. He unknowingly left his new wife pregnant with his son. Or so that's how the story went anyway.

I was the first up to bat when the baseball game started. I was so glad that I came because for a few hours I was able to forget about my worries. I was able to forget about how I stupidly forgot about using protection before having sex with my boyfriend. I was able to forget about the fact that I was dying. I felt so carefree and happy.

When we won the game 7-6 I was on cloud 9. We all high fiber each other and cheered. I was gathering my things when Royce and his sister Sophie walked up to me.

"So Ness. Celebratory party at our house as usual. Are you coming?"

"Will there be booze?"

He laughed. "Of course! It wouldn't be a party without it now would it?"

"I'm in," I smiled.

"Cool. See you in a few,"

"You're not seriously going to go to Royce's house to get wasted are you?" I gasped when I heard Justin behind me.

"Not wasted. A little drunk maybe but not wasted. I'll be fine. See you tomorrow,"

"Ness-" whatever he was about to say he decided against it. He shook his head in disapproval.

My phone rang again and I saw that it was Carlisle trying to call me. I had more missed phone calls and text messages. I shut off my phone completely once again and threw it in my bag without a worry in the world.

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