33 (TW)

Amy

"Hello, Amy," Giselle greeted me as I walked into her infirmary room. She was sitting on her bed, wrapped in a gray fleece blanket. A baby blue beanie covered her bald head. Her pale lips didn't twitch into a frown at the sight of me for once. Instead, they pulled into a sad smile. "Thank you for seeing me again."

"I didn't do it for you," I replied, letting the icicles drip from my voice. "I still have questions that need to be answered." I sat down in the seat next to her bed.

She cradled her blanket closer to her. "Ask away."

"Why did you decide to keep me...after Sterling dumped you for another woman?"

"Why does any woman keep her love child?" She mused. "To keep their lover in their lives with the hope they'll come running back into their arms or to torture them by using their child as a pawn against them?"

I crossed my arms. "Which one were you?"

Ice froze over her green eyes. "Contrary to what you may think, I loved Sterling. I wanted the four of us to be one big happy family. He had a feeling I was having a girl, and he was in love with the thought of having a daughter. He always said you'd be his little princess." She frowned, my fathers' nickname for me burning on her tongue. "I always thought someday he'd swoop in and rescue you from my palace. But, he was too occupied with his real daughters."

I wasn't surprised by her words. In my internet searches, I'd discovered that Sterling had two daughters with his wife, Aaliyah and Amaya. They were two years apart and perfect in all aspects of the word. In the photos I'd found, both of them donned glowing brown skin and beautiful crowns of kinky black hair. According to some of the articles, Aaliyah was a basketball star and Amaya was a whiz kid winning national science competitions. It wasn't a question as to why he never thought to bother with the likes of me.

"Did he ever claim me as his daughter?" I asked "Sign my birth certificate? Pay child support?"

"He signed your birth certificate," Giselle said with a sigh. "Then, he immediately signed over his parental rights. He told me that he didn't want anything to do with you; he was adamant that you weren't worth even a sliver of his time."

"And you immediately thought the same?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Your only purpose was to be the glue between me and Sterling's relationship - the key to our perfect family - and you couldn't even do that. You had absolutely no other use for me."

"Then why keep me under your roof? Why didn't you look into adoption agencies?"

"Because the adoption agencies in my world were looking for blonde-haired, blue eyed white babies - not mixed children born out of wedlock. I had no other choice but to keep you."

I blinked, taken aback a bit by her brutal honesty. "Okay, but why did you…" My scars burned underneath my clothes as the memories of their creation flashed through my mind. "Why did you hurt me so much?"

"Because you were my own personal Antichrist. After you were born, my life derailed, and it was all because of you. So, I punished you accordingly."

"I didn't ask to be born," I reminded her. "I didn't force you to have an adulterous affair. I didn't drive Sterling away from you. I didn't ruin your perfect little life. You did that all on your own, and you just needed someone else to blame for it." I tilted my head. "Holding yourself accountable for your actions sucks, doesn't it?"

Giselle pursed her lips, her eyes glowing with a silent rage. The look threatened to send shivers down my spine. But, I refused to be afraid. She couldn't hurt me anymore.

"What happened that night?" I asked. "Why did you try to kill me?"

"I ran into Sterling at a charity event. He actually spoke to me, and he was very charming." A smile pulled at her lips. "He asked about you, and I showed him one of your school photos. He said you were beautiful." As quickly as the smile came, it quickly disappeared. "Then, he started gloating about his daughters, showing me pictures, listing their accomplishments, and blabbing on and on about how proud he was to have them. And I realized you'd never stand out in their shadows. Sterling would never actually see you as more than a pretty girl he fathered with a pretty woman he pretended to love. So, I tried to do you a favor so you'd never have to live with the gut-wrenching knowledge that your life is worthless and no one could ever love such a useless thing like you." She paused. "Because that's how you feel don't you? Inadequate? Monstrous? Desolate?"

"Yes," I answered. Tears welled at the bottom of my eyes from the reminder. Fearlessly, I allowed them to fall down my cheeks.

Her eyes tracked my tears, her lips twisting in a mix of pity and disgust. "See? I was only trying to protect you."

"Protect me? Giselle, you destroyed me." My throat grew dry, a sob climbing up my throat. "I have amazing, phenomenal people in my life now. There are two amazing men who welcomed me with open arms into their family and are proud to call me their daughter. I have a best friend who is drop dead gorgeous, yet she looks at me and tells me that I'm beautiful every single day. I have a boyfriend who loves and protects me. And you know what I did to them?"

Giselle stared at me, her head tilting slightly in curiosity.

"I had a really good day with them - the best day. Last year, for my birthday, we all went out to Six Flags Great Adventure. We spent all day walking around the park, going on rides, eating greasy foods, and taking a bunch of photos. We all went to sleep with smiles on our faces, probably thinking about the next time we'd do this again." I took a breath, acknowledging the stone pressing its weight on my chest. I'd only ever talked about this experience with my therapist. I never once thought I'd ever share it with her. But, she needed to hear it. She needed to know the exact damage she'd caused. "The next day, I locked myself in the bathroom, filled the tub with water, and ran a razor blade against my wrists." I rolled up my sleeves, showing her the long scars running up the length of my forearms.

Her eyes widened the slightest bit, and her lips twisted into a grimace.

"I wanted to die," I said, my voice cracking. "Because I felt so empty, so miserable, so ugly, and so fucking sad. And it sucked because I didn't know how I could feel all of those things with such wonderful people surrounding me. I didn't think it was fair to them, having to deal with the mess of emotions I was constantly wrestling with. I wasn't eating. I was sleeping way too much. I never wanted to leave the house. I felt like a burden, and I hated myself for it. So, I thought maybe they'd be better off without me."

"Were they?" She asked quietly.

"No," I whispered. "Unlike you, they aren't heartless sociopaths. When I woke up in the hospital, they showered me with even more love than before. They helped me realize that you're wrong about me, Giselle. I'm not all of the terrible things you engraved in my head. I'm beautiful and kind and worthy of all the joys life has to give. My only regret is that you couldn't see that for yourself."

"Me too," she whispered. She held her pale hand out to me. "I'm truly sorry, Amy."

"It's alright," I said, sliding my hand into hers. "I forgive you - for both of our sakes."

A single tear slipped from her eyes. "Thank you." She squeezed my hand, for the intentions of comfort rather than pain for once in my life. "I guess this is goodbye, then?"

I nodded. "I guess so."

She released my hand. For the first time in my life, she smiled at me. A genuine smile that reached her green eyes. "Goodbye, Amy."

Blinking back tears, I returned her kind smile. "Goodbye, Giselle."

On the ride home, I texted Sonic, asking if I could stay over tonight. After that conversation, I wanted nothing more but to lay in his arms, safe and secure and warm. He didn't reply by the time I got home, which was fine. He must've still been out with Tails .

After bidding Wyatt goodbye, I walked into my house and was immediately greeted by the mouth-watering scent of pepperoni pizza. I poked my head into the living room to see my fathers cuddling on the couch, watching a movie and munching on slices from the pizza pie sitting on the coffee table.

"Is there room for one more?" I asked as I took off my jacket.

"Always," Daddy said with a grin.

Smiling, I joined them on the couch and helped myself to a slice of the delicious pizza.

The three of us watched a few comedies together, sharing laughs and making fun of the cringe-worthy scenes. It was almost ten o'clock by the time we finally decided to call it a night.

I was helping Papa clean up when his phone started ringing in his pocket. I glanced over his shoulder to see Ms. Aleena's name on the Caller ID.

"Hey, what's going on?" Papa asked cheerily. His brows quickly came together as Ms. Aleena's voice buzzed on the other end. "Wait, slow down. Slow down. What's wrong?" His eyes widened as her voice chimed through the phone. "What?" He exclaimed.

Daddy moved to Papa's side, setting one of his large hands on his shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

Papa shook his head. "We'll be there soon, Aleena."

Before I could ask what in the world was going on, my own phone started buzzing in my pocket. My brows creased together at Cat's name on my screen. "Hey, is everything alright? Your mom just called."

A choke of a sob was my initial response. "No," Sonia said, her voice cracking. "It's Sonic, Amy. They…they beat him really bad. He's in the hospital."

My heart fell into my stomach. Knots curled around the foreign organ, suffocating it. "What? Is he okay?"

"No," Sonia repeated. "They shot him, Amy, and the doctors aren't sure he's going to make it."