fandom: full metal alchemist
title: kizu.
pairing: ed and ?
rating: pg-13
description - (AU) In this part, Al and Ed are now faced with a question that may have been always answered…
(Rating due to sexual content. Also, if you don't like couples with a large age gap or yaoi between two brothers, you have been warned.)

Disclaimer - Full Metal Alchemist / Hagaren no Renkinjutsushi doesn't belong to me. I just love it too much. Again, the poem is mine.

Why are we always bathed in darkness?
We cling onto one another
for the things the world
washes its hands of
concerning us.

How many times have I walked
out of that door
and never wanted to come back?
How many times have you stared at the radio
hoping that the static would be so distracting
that you didn't have to hear my voice?

Where had we gone
while we were meticulously
watching one another?

Why are we strangers
when we love each other so, so much?

kizu.
By miyamoto yui

Part 3 - powerless.

Al looked kind of flustered and altogether anxious.

So, I crawled off the bed and reached out towards him as he longingly looked out the window. I embraced him from behind while burying my chin onto his shoulder.

Innocently, I questioned, "Is there something wrong?"

He was quiet for a long moment. I found it strange that he didn't answer me as promptly as he usually did.

Was there something I was missing? Did I really miss so much that even as I hold you, you're slipping away faster than sand in an hourglass?
I swore I could hear the hourglass in the black bag I left right at the doorstep…

I held him tighter as I murmured hopelessly into his ear, "I worked so hard to come back to you and you alone. And you're acting as if you don't want me anymore. As if…"
I gulped. My voice cracked as I finished, "…I don't belong here."

He instantly turned around. "Oh no! Of course not, Ni-chan!"
Al put his arms around me as I put my own down. He shook his head over and over while he mumbled as if in a deep prayer, "No, never…never…_never_"

In relief, I sighed a little and smiled as best as I could through the thick tension and apprehension that held me captive at that moment.

"That's good to know," I said as I held onto his face to stare into his eyes.

Those large, inexplicable eyes held a new beauty that I had never seen before. They also held such infliction within them along with the hope that always characterized Al himself.

There was such a difference…

It was different to not see him as the metal, armored person I instilled his soul into. It was hard to believe that this was the person who did not know what had happened between us.

Wasn't this what we worked for?
Wasn't this what I had wished for?

But…he would never know.
They may have told him as they'll me what's happened, but it would never really equate to the experience of being there yourself.

Why were we stupid to bring back our mom? Because of love…because we loved her so much that we couldn't say goodbye…
Because we were children…

Except, weren't we children now? Weren't we always going to be this way even with all that we knew and felt?

Why was I foolish enough to take away your body and your memories? And now, I carry what both of us should have known together.
I don't have to ask you to know that your heart is breaking from the joy and sadness of this particular moment.
I felt that the second your lips touched mine.

It was so hard to try to hold back the dam of tears that should have already come out. From my eyes to yours, couldn't we ever bridge the gap?
Why were we both different and the same from the way we were before?

This was the way with the world, but still…

I touched my forehead to his as I looked at the ground. My fingers softly touched half of his cheeks and half of his hair.
"Ni-chan…" Al's breathy voice barely responded to me as he lifted up his hands to hold onto both of mine. He interlocked both of our fingers.

I was already out of breath when his fingers held onto mine. All at once, my body reacted to his touch, painful and prickly as a thorn but so inviting and soothing like a flower petal.

"Al, I…" I lifted my eyes as I directed my gaze at his neck. My head tilted to one side as I pressed my lips onto his collar bone.

Again, he only said with his hot breath lingering on my ear, "Ni-chan…"

No…
Stop it…
You promised you wouldn't…

My hand began to reach under his shirt and my fingertips slowly crawled onto his chest. He breathed more into my ear, "Ni-chan…"

His voice was erased of its former innocence.

Not to him.
Not even if he was the reason you came back
Or the entire reason why you continued to live despite everything in that other dimension…

My head began to ache a little. My heart was tearing apart at all directions.

Suddenly, I could hear her pretty voice instruct, "Clean up after yourselves when you're done…"
In the next moment, I heard my own shout inside of my mind,

"Don't desecrate him, Edward!"

Alarmed, I immediately opened my eyes to the truth of the matter and fully realized what I was doing. I shook my head as I pushed myself away from him. "Al…"

His warm eyes slowly opened and his pink cheeks looked at me so clearly. They were staring into me transparently.
There was no hesitation in his serious expression.

Agonizingly, I unhooked each of our fingers and took a step back at the seventeen-year-old boy who gazed at my twenty-three year old figure.

I half didn't recognize him, but his unwavering eyes watched me ever so carefully. They were so sure and faithful as they had been before about me…

…had we always been this way, Al?

Were we always walking around one another to avoid the subject by putting the philosopher's stone in between us as an excuse?

I opened my mouth to announce, "I have to take a b-"

"I don't care." He pulled on my sleeve, turned off the light, and pouted as he pushed me onto the bed.

Al wouldn't even look at me. So, I knew he was annoyed at me.

He took off my shoes and socks. Afterwards, he took off his socks and slipped into bed. Putting the covers around us, he clung onto me.

"Just do it tomorrow," he quietly said to my ear. "For tonight, don't leave me. I don't want to wake up and find out it's a dream again."
His lip quivered. As his hand wrapped around my waist, his left leg went over both of mine, just like we when we were children. Mom would leave and Al would come sleep with me because he was scared of the dark.

"Okay…" I answered while my eyes regarded the unfamiliar ceiling.

It was then that I turned my head to look at his sleeping face. I stretched out my hand to touch his face with my fingers. I couldn't believe I was next to him.

Instinctively, as I had always done, I took a deep breath and kissed his lips…
…when he fully fell asleep.

I tried over and over to push away the impure thoughts and feelings I felt for him, but I couldn't help it.
I was so ashamed and terrified if you ever found out.

Unconsciously, for the first time ever, you kissed me back and then fell back asleep.

I was always powerless against you, Al.

Tsuzuku…

Author's note: Ack! This is going a lot slower than I wanted and it took a different angle! * tears hair out * But I hope you're enjoying it!
Let's enjoy an angst, well-loved Ed (because Mustang is sure to come!).

I, uh, had to stop for a bit while making this part because it got to be too much for me. XD

Thanks for reading so far! (How are you enjoying this, Rosevine-san?)

Note: I had a hard time putting the age difference. It was important to me because I wanted to be as detailed as possible. I'm just saying it was about one year for the anime series, so that plus the seven I put here would make Ed the age he is here. Please just go along with it.

Sunday, February 27, 2005
12:59 AM