fandom: full metal alchemist
title: kizu.
pairing: ed and ?
rating: pg-13
Description: (AU) Ah, yes, Edward meets the Fuhrer.

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist isn't mine.

I've run as far as I can go,
I count the hours as they slip in seconds.
Inside of my mind,
I'm trapped against a wall,
groping my way.

But you seem to always find me.
I'd say you're my rescue,

but you're the one I'm trying
to flee from
with all my might.

One more time, you say.
It'll be all right, you repeat.
You're mine, your eyes tell me.

I keep on running even though I know
There's no exit
from this dark, abandoned home
with its many rooms.

You tell me it's love,
I scream that it's rape.
You're not even touching me

but I'm already empty,
filling up with this affection

My mind is bound to you.

It's worse than being chained.

kizu.
By miyamoto yui

Part 4 - What's a life worth?

I woke up with my eyes unfocused and blurred. I was wondering who was holding onto me and then I saw Al in front of me.

Oh…It was him…

Thank, Kami-sama.

I wanted to take my bath, but I knew that if I left, he'd have a fit. So, I sighed, resigned temporary to my obvious fate.
But as I looked at this bedroom, it looked almost like the one we burned down. How had Al made this? How was I going to ask him?

There was so many questions and the bag I left in front of the house wasn't going to help me explain anything.

It was then that Al slowly opened his eyes and smiled. He snuggled himself against my shoulder. "Ni-chan…"

I was always trying to fight that smile because I loved it so much, but was I ready to answer all the questions he had for me? That's why I had refused to ask anything, fearing that I would have to explain things I wasn't ready to give descriptions of.
It had to be fair.

I wasn't ready to be 'fair'.

His smile grew wider as he reached out and patted my cheek. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."
He then pulled on both of my cheeks with his two hands. I couldn't help but grin. "Hello back to you."

Then, once again, I was hypnotized. He leaned forward to kiss me again.
I really wanted to turn my head away, but the touch of his hand and his tongue in my mouth wouldn't let me pull away.

Where had he learned to kiss so well…?

"Mmm…"

But he pulled away as his eyes averted their gaze away from me, almost guilty. He then lifted them again with that gentle smile and wiped some of my face with his hand.
Al got off the bed and said, "So, what do you want to eat for breakfast? Anything you really want to eat? I'm really good at cooking now!"
Enthusiastically, he put his hand over his arm while cutely biting his lower lip. "Yosh!"

"I want…"

He turned around and took off his clothes in front of me. I watched him as he took off everything and slowly slipped on his shorts and green shirt.

"Actually, you decide, Al. Ahahaha." I scratched the back of my head while sitting up on the bed.

You idiot. You didn't even bother to look away…

He shook his head as he handed me some beige shorts and a white shirt. "Are you growing old?"
"What?!"
"You're not answering me as quickly as you used to."
"But that's because you were-"
"I was what?"
I became flustered. I pouted. "Nothing."
"At nothing?" He crawled on the bed. "Your punishment."

He poked my forehead.
Then, he kissed it and went to the kitchen.

It was a little before daybreak, but the dawn was sure to come. It was a little bit warmer than I expected, but I knew people were going to come, so I had to get ready.
I still wasn't ready to face anyone, but I knew I had to. Eventually, I would have to.

I'd have to find my place here all over again…

"I'm going to take a bath, Al!"
"Okay! But why are you going out?"
"For old times sake."
The door closed behind me.

And then I went down to the river. I stepped into the clean water. It was so unlike the dirtiness of the other world! I even reached down to drink it. I squatted down to splash it onto myself.

I didn't want to take off my clothes even though I should have. I was too excited to come back home.
And the water felt so refreshing on my body. I closed my eyes as I drenched myself in it with my two hands.

The invisible scars appeared and left…
I winced in pain.

Feeling someone was watching me, I immediately turned around, alarmed. I saw a man stand at the edge of the river as solid as Al had been when I appeared before his doorstep.

The tall man cleared his throat with his hand over his mouth. "That's quite a position you're in."
Then, he put his hand down along with pulling on his glasses to place them in one black, uniform jacket pocket.

I looked at myself.
My transparent clothing wasn't helping me any.

But I hadn't felt so good taking a bath. I wasn't going to make him ruin it for me!

"Go away, you dirty weirdo!"

He laughed with both of his eyebrows raised, amused almost. "Incredulous. But only you would dare to say such a thing to me, especially when I finally became Fuhrer."

"A pervert who looks in on boys half his age is the Fuhrer? Ah, there are things I've really missed from this world," I sarcastically retorted.

He stepped forward.

"Oi…Hey…"

He took a hold of my left wrist. "I tried to come here as soon as I could, but I'm sure the transportation system here is very slow compared to where you're from."

"Mmm…" I said in protest, flashing him a scathing look. "Let go of me."

He sighed with his lips becoming a straight line filled with irritation in his tone.

Dumbfounded, I blinked my eyes.
Why was that so satisfying yet so endearing at the same time?

"If this is your way of greeting me, I'm already used to it. There's nothing that you haven't done that I've not been able to conquer and still drag you off to wherever I've planned to go with you."

"Eh?" My eye twitched as my eyebrow raised. I grimaced.

This voice…
…was so annoying…
…but why was it so…so…enticing?

I pulled my arm away, but he firmly held onto my wrist with even more force.

My clothing dripped onto the river.

"I don't know who you are. So, I'm not saying this again. Go AWAY!"

He chuckled. "You…aren't serious, are you?"
The dark-haired man looked into my eyes, trying to find a truth that I wasn't willing to give him even though I didn't know what exactly he was looking for.
I just didn't want to give in!

I pouted while trying not to lose the staring contest.

Without warning, he pulled on my chin.

"H-hey! Mmph…!" My eyes were still opened as I looked into his face with his own eyes closed. His fingers were so hot that I felt like he was burning me.

I pounded lightly on his chest with my hand on his shoulder, but his arm encircled part of my waist to make me come closer to him.

He kissed me even more and I could feel all the air being sucked out of me. And just as he pulled away, he took a deep breath and started all over again. And though I started to push him away, I found my fingers really holding onto his sleeves as his leg pushed inside the gap between the both of mine.
I finally turned away, but he caught my mouth again.

He wasn't going to let me breath, scream, or get away.

And somehow, this feeling was familiar.
Degrading, yet devilishly, shamefully fun…

Although I was intending on getting away, he pressed his leg harder and I was writhing in pain.

"Stop…" I whispered into his shoulder, unable to say anything more as I felt my whole body tense up the more he touched me. My cheeks were turning red and I inwardly cursed myself at my body's weak resolve to such a person. "You perverted old man…and in public too."

"It's been seven years. I don't care who the hell sees us now."

And somehow, he was gentle. Too proud to cry, he stood there and stopped as I finally pushed him away from me.

He had let go of me.

For a moment, he held his open, empty arms before me. Then, he put them down casually while watching me.

"Who are you?"

My heart was racing. The touch…

I knew this touch…

But why was the face in front of me unrecognizable? Not everyone could kiss like that. Not even as a joke to a stranger…

At that moment, my eyes glanced at Al at the top of the hill, who was looking down at me.

"So, that's how it is." The Fuhrer, defeated, held his chin up. He tugged on his hat and turned around with his cape flowing gracefully behind him.

I looked at him as he went up the hill. I thought it was just that, but no. It absolutely wasn't. He passed by my brother and took his chin in between his white, gloved fingers.

His eyes watched me the whole time as he did this. Al's eyes frantically looking all over the place.

A great pain cringed inside of me. And I didn't know who to react to: my brother or the man who kissed his life into me.

And killed my own between those burning fingers.

Tsuzuku…

Author's note: My fetish for shorts and glasses has come up again! XD (Sorry, semes with glasses just do things to me that I shouldn't think of and so they come out in fanfics. Heh.) However, the more I write for this fic, the more I become aware of the many loose ends there are. ;_; I shall persist on!

April 2, 2005, 1:58 AM