When Neji woke up, the sun had not come out yet, and he was laying on his side. It took him a moment to understand what had happened, his mind slowly putting the pieces together. Once he did, he hastily got out of bed, making his way out of Tenten's house without making a sound.
As Neji made his way back to the Hyuga compound, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. Boruto's words to Sarada came to mind in that precise moment and he felt self-conscious. He was inadvertently feeding kindling to the fire—he was sure the town gossipers would relish in this. He felt his ears burning in shame, though he knew he had done nothing to warrant that reaction.
When he got to the compound, he bathed and changed clothes, making quick of the whole process. After, Neji laid in his bed, tossing, and turning. He found sleep for half an hour or forty minutes, before the hallways started filling up with the sounds and movements of the clan members. He was sure it was already morning.
Neji decided to head to one of the mediation rooms in the manor and see if he could clear the onslaught of thoughts there. It was obvious that that was all the rest he would have for today.
He was relieved to find the room empty when he got there, choosing a spot closest to the window. He got into his meditation position, eyes closed, and was in the process of controlling his breathing when his uncle decided to come in.
"May I join you?" Hiashi asked. Out of courtesy, Neji reminded himself. His uncle could walk in and do whatever he wanted without asking for his permission. He was still head of the Hyuga clan.
Neji nodded without opening his eyes, trying to concentrate on one part of his body—his right foot. His muscles were starting to relax, and his thoughts were slowing down. It was like a flowing river; he was just letting the stream guide him wherever he needed to go. He exhaled gradually.
"It is strange to find you here so early in the morning," Hiashi cut through the silence, an amuse tone in his voice.
That flowing river suddenly ran into a boulder. Unwillingly, Neji felt himself tense up. He sighed, though it could have been interpreted as a breathing exercise instead of exasperation.
"I suppose it is," Neji agreed, hoping doing so would cut the conversation short.
It did…for a few minutes. By then, the water was continuing its course, his thoughts working themselves out. For a moment Neji even forgot his uncle was there, his breathing and the birds chippering outside the window the only thing he could hear.
"I heard you and your former teammate caught the people responsible for bombing the Red House," Hiashi commented.
"That is right." Again, he agreed, but it was less successful in making their exchange dwindle out.
"It was a lucky coincidence that you two had been together in that moment and were able to respond so quickly," his uncle remarked like it wasn't a coincidence at all. To his credit, he was right.
"It was lucky."
By this point Neji knew his uncle wasn't just stating things. He was mentally preparing himself for whatever it was his Hiashi was trying to get at. He knew he would tire of beating around the bush. He was surprised it didn't happen sooner, if he was honest.
"One of our sentinels told me that you got to the compound very early this morning." This time his uncle's voice didn't hold any emotions at all, just facts.
Ah, there it was. Neji opened his eyes then and faced his uncle. Hiashi had his eyes closed, as if in deep concentration.
"War has made it difficult for me to keep time."
"Yes, war. Good thing it's over."
They were silent for an hour as they meditated. Well, Neji was trying to meditate. His uncle's presence didn't help, less so when he thought about his words. Neji only felt the need to stay so Haishi wouldn't notice just how uncomfortable he was. If he did, he would surly press about the issue. He was debating whether enough time had passed for him to excuse himself and leave the room, perhaps he could try to meditate in his room, when his uncle beat him to it.
"Nephew," Hiashi called out to him, a tingle of sadness in his voice.
Neji opened his eyes and found that his uncle was standing at the door, regarding him with a compassionate stare. One a parent would give a child. He nodded. "Lord Hiashi."
"In my pride I have made decisions that I have regretted and will probably regret for the rest of my life." His uncle smiled at him, as if he could see right through him. "Don't make the same mistakes I have. You're still young."
Neji was unable to from any sort of retort, Hiashi was already through the door by that point. And even if he had waited for him to respond, he wouldn't have been able to.
Tsunade was regarded as a wondering ghost in Konoha. She would come and go without anyone knowing about it, where she was off to next a shrouded mystery. It was always hard pinning her down, she would never leave any trace behind. She could be here and there—sometimes, if rumors got too outlandish, everywhere at once. When Sakura had let them know she was helping treat patients in the hospital during the war and would leave soon—once everything was under control—, Neji and Tenten knew they had to move fast. They had agreed to meet at the hospital entrance in the afternoon the following day, around the same time Tsunade allegedly took her breaks.
"I have been too busy with everything that has been going on to personally ask her about the note in the book," Sakura had told them last night. "Add that to the fact that it's hard tracking her down as it is. It's common knowledge in the hospital that she takes a break in the afternoon, so that would be your best bet."
Tenten was already waiting for Neji in one of the benches in front of the hospital when he got there, regarding him with a small smile. After a short greeting, Tenten stood up and sighed, for a moment making Neji wonder if she was going to discuss what had happened last night—had she even notice he had stayed way longer than he intended? Her brown eyes seemed prying enough but, to Neji's immense relief, she didn't address the issue.
"Ready?" she asked as she stared into the glass doors of the hospital.
Neji nodded, though he wasn't really that sure he could say he was prepared.
Inside, the place was chaotic. There was a lot of movements from the medical-nins, nurses and staff as they focused on the tasks at hand—carrying charts, checking on patients, delivering medication or food. Every few minutes the insistent buzzing around them would be interrupted by someone making announcements over the speaker.
Like the day before, Neji and Tenten went undetected as they passed beds and rooms, searching for the Godaime, or if someone did noticed, they didn't seem to deem it important enough to stop what they were doing to question them about it.
Perhaps fifty-five minutes passed before they decided to return to the first floor of the hospital—the emergency room—and begin their search once more. Neji had activated his Byakugan in hopes of hurrying the process and was moving his head from left to right when Tenten elbowed him and pointed to the center—towards the reception counter. There they found the Fifth hastily going over some papers. Neji felt slightly stupid for not noticing the Godaime before he activated his Byakugan when it was clear she had been in plain sight.
Tsunade looked up from the paperwork, seeming to notice their incessant staring and how at odds they were with their surroundings, and smiled like she was anticipating them.
"Sakura told me to expect you guys."
"Then you know why we are here then," Neji concluded.
Tsunade scribbled something in one of the papers then beckoned them with her finger. "Follow me."
It only took a few minutes, after going through the same familiar halls and taking the same turns, for Neji to understand that Tsunade was guiding them towards Sakura's office, for a quieter place to talk. When the three of them got there, much like her legendary status indicated, Tsunade opened the door without knocking and Neji tried not to wince at the fact.
"Lady Tsunade," came Sakura's surprised voice.
This did not seem to face the Godaime. "Can I use your office for a moment?"
There was a pause and he heard some murmuring. That was when Neji registered that there was someone other than the pink-hair kunoichi in the room. If that person's chakra was any indication, Neji was sure it was none other than Sasuke Uchiha on the other side. He confirmed it when the couple emerged from the room, looking slightly irritated.
"Sorry for, eh, interrupting," Tsunade offered, looking sheepish for the first time.
"It's okay," Sakura said, but it sounded anything but.
Neji offered an apologetic stare to Sakura, regarding Sasuke with a firm nod, noting that this was the first time seeing him since he came back. The secondhand embarrassment increased once he realized that Tsunade might have interrupted something important.
"Come on in, kids," Tsunade gestured for Tenten and Neji from the doorway of Sakura's office.
He tried to shake the feeling of discomfort as he turned towards Tenten who was trying to hide her cringe. That was all he needed to see to know that she was feeling just like him. Inside, they took the same seats they did the night prior. It was like a déjà vu moment, down to Tsunade going to the bookcase and grabbing the same worn book Sakura had less than twenty-hour hours ago.
"I should have known you guys hid the scroll," Tsunade muttered as she sat on the desk, ignoring the files and papers laying on top. Neji tried not grimace (again).
"It was all me," Tenten confessed. "I hid it. I am sorry I never told you, Lady Tsunade."
Neji looked at Tenten, then shook his head. He knew Tsunade was one of her long-time hero's, one she tried to emulate when she was young before deciding to focus her efforts on perfecting her fūinjutsu and expanding her arsenal. Admitting to this must be crushing, especially with all that it implied.
"She only did it because I wanted to destroy it."
Tsunade held up a hand, silencing them—as if she wasn't interested in hearing their apologies or explanations. "There is no need for that. That is no longer my problem or concern. I am sure you already talked with the current Hokage about the matter, right?"
They both nodded.
Tsunade smirked, then shrugged. "Then I couldn't care less."
Neji tried remembering if the Fifth had been this unconcerned about serious matters when he was alive, when she had held the position of Hokage. Perhaps this indifferent attitude came with age, even if she still looked exactly the same as he last remembered.
"But I am suspecting you guys aren't here to apologize. Well, you are," Tsunade said, pointing at Tenten. She regarded Neji with a frown. "Not you."
"We wanted to know if you truly found a way to undo the jutsu," Tenten admitted and Neji was grateful that she didn't waste time with pleasantries.
Tsunade opened the book she held in her arms, flipping through the pages until it landed on the one that had her scribbled note. She stared at if for a second too many, sighing. "I am kind of disappointed that you wouldn't immediately assume I found a way to undo it."
"So, you have?" Neji concluded.
"It's a powerful jutsu," Tsunade acknowledged, running her fingers through one of the entries, "but it wasn't hard finding a way around it."
They let her words sink in for a moment. Beside him, Tenten seemed to ponder Tsunade's discloser with cold appraisal. On the other end, Neji felt like the air was knocked out of him. When he saw her note on the book last night, he had immediately assumed she had figured a way of undoing it, but hearing it come out from her own mouth was surreal.
"How would one go about it then?" Tenten quietly approached the subject.
"Well, you would have to release the jutsu. Obviously. It's not something you necessarily undo per se. I only use the term loosely because the person who has to release the jutsu will undoubtably die if they do. It's a complete undoing—you are undoing one linked body from the other, breaking the chakra pathway. It's lethal."
"I thought you said you figured away around it," Tenten accused without missing a beat.
Neji didn't understand how she was able to process so many things at the same time without needing to take a deep breath. He just found out that he could return to his previous unliving state, which he thought impossible up until that point. He was unable to sort his thoughts about the matter before being hit with the fact that if he chose to proceed with it, it would come at a price.
"Yes. I did. Although different in a way, this is quite similar to the Reanimation Jutsu. When I revisited my medical books in search of a way to make the recovery process faster and have a somewhat advantage in the war, I immediately looked up the Feudal Lord Lao-Yung and the jutsu he had created, remembering it from my early days of training," Tsunade explained unhurriedly. She set the book down and got up from the desk, going around it to sit on the chair.
She continued, "I thought this information was unparallel for the upcoming confrontation the Leaf and the rest of the countries were going to face. I knew many lives would perish in the war, as in any war, but if I was able to get a hold of the scroll, then the jutsu would have been able to bring the strongest of our shinobi back. I reasoned we could have a fighting chance that way. Tip the scale perhaps. I was also aware I might not be the only person looking through old books and thinking the same thing, so I knew I had to get my hands on the scroll just like I knew I had to find a way to bypass it somehow in case it got into the wrong hands.
"Unlike the Reanimation Jutsu, this one links the body and the chakra of the living host to that of the deceased. Add that to the fact that there has to be some sort of bond beforehand for it to be successful. You don't have to be powerful to unleash it, no, but you do have to be powerful enough to release it once you are done. The Feudal Lord's intentions for this jutsu wasn't for war or strategizing, it was his way of reuniting with his dead wife. He didn't plan on making the effects temporary, but rather quite permeant," Tsunade told them as she reclined in the chair. "That's why it requires a lot of physical strength and charka for the release to be effective and not, you know, kill you. Have you ever thought of releasing it, Tenten?"
This question made Neji turn to Tenten, who just looked at her clenched hands in her lap. Neji felt his mouth dry at her hesitation. She had?
"The thought crossed my mind one or two times," Tenten admitted shamefully, "but I never actually attempted it. I was…too scared of what could happen."
"Well," Tsunade broke through the tension without noticing it in the first place. "Good thing that you didn't, or you would both be dead."
It was very polite of Tsunade to not ask the same thing to Neji. If she had, he wouldn't know what he would have answered. Admittedly, Neji had been distracted when he back from the dead. To busy catching up to ever have the thought cross his mind, which was somewhat more embarrassing than considering releasing the jutsu but not attempting it. He was the supposed prodigy genius. He didn't know why it didn't occur to him sooner (of course, release!). If he had to think of a reason as to why he didn't, he would have to presume that it was because he had been too preoccupied with…living.
"I have thought about what methods are most effective at stopping the jutsu and I have come up with three," Tsunade went on, holding up three of her fingers in an amused way.
"One," she lowered one finger, "Develop a genjutsu strong enough to make the person release the jutsu, which I have." She lowered the second finger. "Torture them until they release it." She lowered the third finger. "Kill them and end the jutsu. I guess you figured that in all three scenarios, they all end up dead."
Tenten and Neji eyed each other sideways before looking at Tsunade again, trying to figure out if she is being serious or not.
"Those three options were solely based on that person not wanting to release the jutsu willingly, but I suppose that is not the case for you guys. Correct?" Tsunade didn't wait for them to respond. She leaned forward, her mouth hidden behind her intertwined hands, and said, "I don't see a reason for releasing the jutsu. Truth be told, if I had that chance, well… I wouldn't like to dwell on the idea. I don't consider myself that lucky." She shrugged. "Some things just aren't meant to be, I guess."
Neji was struck by her choice of wording. They sounded eerily familiar, but he doesn't know why. Aside from what she said, he was starting to think that maybe the Godaime had other ulterior motives for wanting to retrieve the scroll other than war. A person who had experienced so much lost in her life would risk anything to have this, would they not? Yet, here she was resigned to her fate and luck. Perhaps some things weren't meant to be after all.
"But that decision isn't mine to make, I suppose," Tsunade continued, looking slightly displeased though she tried to hide it. "If you think that is what you want to do, then I can assist you. It will be grueling, and you will probably be recovering for weeks, but if I can keep you stabilize long enough through the whole process, you will be able to do it and survive."
"Really?" Tenten sounded small but hopeful.
"Yeah," Tsuande smiled. "With Sakura's help, that is."
"I would do it right now," Tenten said, surprising Tsunade and Neji, "but I believe that decision is not up to me."
She turned to Neji in expectation and he just gaped, thinking that 14 years ago something like this happened. He wasn't as assertive as she was when Tsunade had first brief them about the mission to retire the scroll, though. He still couldn't get over the shock of Tenten suggesting they do the release then and there.
Tsunade seemed to understand his sudden hesitation, standing up from her chair. "Right now is not ideal. I still have to see the rest of my patients today and my break is almost over." She walked over to the door. "I will be leaving in three days, after the service and burials are done. You can let me know your decision then."
Tenten thanked Tsunade, regarding him once she had gone through the door. "Isn't that great?"
"Hn," Neji agreed, but he knew his voice sounded hollow.
Strangely enough, Neji did not find himself in Tenten's house that night, though she had told him he could pass by if he wanted to. Instead he was in his room, mediating. He had been on the wooden floor with his legs crossed since he came back from the hospital, trying to find some semblance of peace.
Neji took a deep breath, holding it in for a few moments before slowly releasing it. He pictured a river and like a work of magic it was there. He followed the stream like he did earlier today, trusting it would lead him to the ocean. Instead, the stream took him to a lake, where he was stuck. It reminded Neji of how he felt in the beginning when he had been angry and resentful towards Tenten for bringing him back—stuck. It was somewhat logical and reasonable for him to have felt that way then, yet now that the chance of going back presented itself… the thought sent him reeling. Was that not what he wanted?
Neji focused his train of thought on something other than being dead again and the empty nothing it all was. Rather, he thought about everything that had been discussed that afternoon. Of Lord Shinko and his overzealous love for his wife, and how that love had transcended time and space. Of how he believed they were fated for each other and death was just another obstacle to prove how devoted and faithful he was. Then he thought about Tsunade's words and how contrary they were to the Feudal Lord's convictions, of how she believed some things weren't actually meant to be and luck was to blame for all of it.
When he contemplated both, weren't luck and fate different sides of the same coin?
"Damn it," Neji muttered, wondering for the millionth time that day if his previous musings had held any truth.
Neji got up and started pacing, scratching his hair and rubbing his face, going back and forth about the matter. Cleary mediating about it wasn't going to help. He needed an outsider's perspective. But whose?
The teacup was hot in his hands as the silence of the night filtered in. Although Hiashi looked slightly surprised to see Neji on the other side of his door, he did not question him about it. Quite the contrary, he opened his door and invited him in. Even made tea for them.
"What has you so restless that made you come to me for counsel?" Hiashi asked gently.
Neji tried not to wince, remembering that that morning he tried avoiding his uncle. Now, ironically, he was looking for his guidance. Of course, Hiashi knew he considered him to be his last resort.
"I am conflicted about a matter and I wish to hear your insight about it."
Hiashi looked at his tea, before blowing on it and taking a sip. "Well, what is it?"
Neji exhaled, relaxing his shoulders, reminding himself that, though he was the head of the Hyuga clan, Hiashi was still his family. He was his father's brother. He wouldn't chide him. "What are your thoughts about destiny and fate?"
Hiashi looked at Neji in the eye, as if he could see through his exterior and into his mind. He regarded him with a furrowing of his brow. His uncle was clearly confused. "I thought you had drawn your own conclusion about the subject long ago, what has you revisiting it again?"
Neji turned his gaze to the floor, asking himself the same thing. Why was he so conflicted about it? He supposed he should answer honestly. "Time and circumstances."
Hiashi nodded as if it made perfect sense. Neji looked back at his uncle and waited in expectation for an answer, for his wise perception about the topic, but when one didn't come, he reluctantly asked, "What are your notions about such matters?"
Hiashi shrugged, something Neji was aware he would not do in front of anyone else. Regardless of the fact, it was still off putting and made his next words feel stripped.
"I do think some things are predestined or fated, but in that we have no control over how things unfold in our lives and where they might lead us. We do, however, at the end of the day, ultimately have a say in how we respond to them and how we allow them to shape us."
"I see," Neji muttered. He didn't understand how he could feel hopeful and dreadful at the same time.
Hiashi took another sip of his tea, cocked his head at him curiously. "How will you respond, Neji?"
His uncle's question came like a sucker punch, unexpected and painful. Neji had to steady himself before he could answer. "I am not sure."
"Sadly, I am afraid I cannot help you with that. I can't decide for you, I can only decide for myself."
Neji sighed, taking sip of his tea for the first time, brooding over his Hiashi's words in silence. Although, he felt like he was still floating in the lake, Neji felt clearer minded, like he could see the shore. He was sure destiny had brought him back, fate wanted it this way… but it was he who decided if he wanted to stay or not. And that he needed to determine soon.
"Thank you, Lord Hiashi," Neji said bowing his head.
Hiashi just nodded and both proceeded to drink their tea in the quiet of the night. Neji hadn't known Hiashi planned on saying more until his voice startled him long minutes later, a bittersweet tone to his voice.
"Destiny and fortune are fickle and vicious notions. Ironic they are indeed. They are hard to comprehend," he began, "I was meant to die, but your father took my place. You were meant to live a long life, but it was cut short. I do not understand any of these things. They are out of my control or scope of reasoning. Both shaped the person that I have become, for better or worse. In my old age I have come to relinquish that need for control and power and have come to accept things as they are. That is why I have chosen to live the rest of my life as my true self without any qualms about it. Some of our clan members are not happy because of it, they are still set upon this perception of how the Hyuga clan ought to be, but I shouldn't be concern with their lack of happiness. I should only be concern with mine."
He paused, giving Neji an all-knowing smile. "You should be concern with yours too, nephew. That is my counsel to you."
A/N: Hey, guys. Today (August 16th) is the anniversary of me starting this story. Now, we are a chapter and an epilogue away from being done and I am shocked.
I tried to emulate the same kind of energy Naruto and Hiashi had in that episode in Boruto with Neji. Thank you to the Guess who commented on the last update, I appreciate your feedback. I hope to have the next update ready soon. Truth be told it's hard for me to concentrate on my classed because I am too distracted with finishing the story. I want to finish so I can do good and not flunk (ha-ha). I hope you guys have enjoyed the story and are satisfied with my version of what I think Kishi should have done (but, for reals, killing Neji should have been the first!). I know this chapter is short, but time did not make it so for me to write more, yet I feel like I covered everything I needed to cover. I really researched a lot when it came to Tsunade's explanation about the jutsu and how it worked. Hope the whole thing was clear. Please comment and let me know your thoughts, those are always appreciated. Until the next update.