I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.
"Speech"
'Thought'
"Powerful Entities Talking" (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)
[Boost]: Ddraig
{Divide} Albion
I let out a slightly annoyed scoff as I take a long drink from my juice box, glancing around to Rias, her Queen, Akeno, the Rook, Koneko, and Sakuya Izayoi herself... who is gazing at me confusedly, probably wondering why a human is hanging around with a bunch of devils.
I abruptly point forwards. "Are you my fucking mom?"
She appears briefly taken aback by my seemingly random question and loses her cold expression for just a moment, as it is replaced by utter confusion. "Wh- No I am not."
"Then stop staring at me, it's fucking creepy!" I scoff, muttering a 'Fucking Sakuya Izayois' under my breath.
It has been about a month since good ol Milly forcibly made me join this club for the whole 'you destroyed all of my internal organs with your punches' prank... and honestly... I am fucking dead inside.
Rias keeps fucking asking me to be her rook or knight at every possible moment and I am slowly dying inside as she blatantly jojokes at me from across the room. I mean, she has been a bit more absent minded the past week or so, so that has been a nice relaxing time.
I, am not the only new member to the occult research club apparently, as she revived Issei as one of her pawns and Asia- the nun girl who I now know the name of- as her bishop.
The maid glares at me for a moment, then glances towards Rias, and in that moment, I use shadowbox to replace my juicebox with a tea cup and saucer which I take sip from as she looks back to me.
Her eyes widen for a moment as she blinks, seemingly deciding if I am actually real at all.
Annnyways, I have been hanging around Mittelt more than my bros this past month, so I should really fix that... maybe go out and blow up a car or something... we aren't in constant danger anymore, so I guess our gang is just drifting apart...
Issei, Kiba and Asia seem to arrive, and just as Issei begins to speak to Rias, a magic circle flashes to life in the corner of the room.
I hide my unimpressed frown with the teacup, doing my best Kirito impression as I glace out of the corner of my eye.
"Ah... it has been ages since Riser has graced the human realm with his presence." A deep and douchey sounding voice announces as a blond man in a red suit appears with a flash, flanked by a shorter blond girl with spiral drill hair, wearing a pink dress, and a taller purple haired woman wearing a lavender dress and white cloak with black shoulder pads, in her hand is a massive magic staff, presumably for magic.
"Go back, we don't want you here." I scoff into the teacup.
He smiles and either doesn't hear me, or acts like he doesn't. "It is good to see you, my dear Rias~"
"Wait... 'Dear Rias'?" Issei asks.
"Oh? Did you not tell your peerage about me, my dear?"
I put my tea cup and saucer down.
"This is-" Sakuya Izayoi begins to say something before I cut her off.
"No, no, let my analytical mind take a crack at this." I hum as I briefly glance up and down the man. "Your name is Riser-" I spy a flaming bird on his cufflinks. "Pheonix... judging by your dramatic entrance and your lavish clothes, you are a high-class devil, much like Rias... the way you call Rias your 'dear' suggests that you much closer than just acquaintances, perhaps you are dating, married, or engaged, but, judging by Rias's expression of distain, I deduce that it is more of a one-sided agreement, perhaps an arranged marriage between your families, as for your clan trait, as soon as you stepped into this room, I have been smelling a faint aroma of a camp fire, possibly roasted pistachios, now, that might have been caused by your heated entrance, but I am willing to bet that you... have near complete mastery of fire and wind, as a gust of air blew out all the flames from your entrance before they could burn anything, and, finally, if your name is indeed correct, powerful regeneration capabilities..."
"Am I right?" I smirk as I ignore Issei shriek 'MARRIED?!'.
"Also, your next line is 'W-What?! H-how did you tell all that from the brief moments that we have met?!' To you~"
"W-What?! H-how did you tell all that from the brief moments that we- *Gasp*"
Everyone in the room seems to pause as I continue grinning.
"And next you are going to say, 'Oh, does the human think he is funny?' To you~"
"Oh? Does the human think he is funn-" Riser stops himself and inhales deeply, then looks over to Rias. "So I see that you have told at least one of your servants about me, dear~"
"No, she hasn't." I scoff. "What do you take me for?"
"Silence human." He growls. "Riser grows tired of your voice... it would be in your best interest to stop talking."
"This is Riser Phenex, as the human deduced, he is a high-class devil and also Rias' fiancé." Maid-sama announces.
"Peh!" I laugh. "One last question... why is she looking at me like that?"
I point to what I presume to be his sister, who is staring at me with excitement, joy, awe, and that better not be fucking Arousal or I swear to- anyways, she is staring at me with sparkly eyes and is covering her mouth with both hands to- if I had to guess- suppress her fangirl squeals which Is now a quiet squeak that could easily be lost in the ambiance of the room.
Riser looks like he is about to snap for a moment, only to get slightly confused and look back to his sister.
"Oh no..." He sighs.
The purple haired girl from before looks down at the drill haired blond in confusion and waves a hand in front of her face, only to get no reaction.
"The tea prepared by my Rias' queen is most delicious~" Riser hums as he toys with Rias' hair with one hand.
Akeno bows slightly. "Thank you for the complement, sir."
She silently walks across the clubroom where she lays down the tray she was holding.
I glance to my left to see Drill girl- not staring at me like she was, but still glancing at me every now and then with a blush.
Rias stands up, bringing my attention back to her and Riser. "That's enough Riser... I have no intention of EVER marrying you!"
The blond to my left frowns slightly as the purple haired woman who is sitting to the right of Riser scoffs.
"But my darling, with your family's current circumstances, you shouldn't be so selfish, after all-"
"Don't you dare bring my family's name into this Riser." Rias growls. "I will not bring my family to ruin, and I have no intention of denying your right to our name, however, let me be clear, my husband will be my own choice."
"So, you are basically denying his right to your name?" I ask with a deadpan.
"Remember, it is imperative that devils remain pureblooded, my dear, we are still recovering our numbers from the last war..." Blond prick hums again. "Riser knows that both your father and Sirzechs made this arrangement with the fate of devilkind in mind."
"My father, my brother, and my entire clan made this decision because they are in too great a rush... for the final time, Riser, I will not marry you." The red head scowls.
Riser cups her chin and looks into her eyes with a smug smirk. "For the final time, Riser bears the reputation of the house of Phenex, besmirching our good name is unacceptable."
"Hey!" Issei growls as he takes a step forward.
"Riser doesn't care if he has to incinerate everyone in this room, you WILL-*Grk-*" he goes flying over the back of the couch as my fist comes into contact with his cheek.
"I don't take threats on my life very kindly." I growl.
The purple haired woman seemingly teleports behind me with her increased speed, she is probably his queen, but I duck her staff as she tries to hit me on the back of the head with it.
She hops back with a scowl as I attempt to elbow her, but she suddenly stumbles backwards as a black vine grabs her ankle mid-jump.
As I spin around my fist comes into contact with her face causing her to stumble backwards and cup her cheek which is slowly reddening and let out a fairly loud hiss of pain.
"YOU HUMAN WELP!" Riser roars as fire spews from his back and he leaps cleanly over the couch, preparing to crush my skull with his fist.
He stops as the barrel of a tommygun presses against his throat.
"Riser Phenex... I have only been in your presence for an hour, but I can undoubtedly say that I hate you, you are an arrogant, womanizing piece of trash and I can't stand scummy bastards like you!" I glance over my shoulder. "I, am not a good person, I hurt people... probably more than I have to, but the one thing I absolutely loathe is arrogant fuckers like you who think they are invincible because they have a little power, that they own the world just because they are born more fortunate than others, easily disregarding all sense of decency and sacrificing others in pursuit of what they want, be it a woman, a town, or even chaos itself... now, I have a question for you... if we fight... are you willing to face your luck against my own?"
Riser lets out a low growl and looks like he is about to attack, my index finger twitching in anticipation as the purple haired woman points the staff towards me, a small bead of fire appearing at the tip, Rias' peerage getting into combat positions as well, Kiba drawing a sword, Koneko raising her fists, Issei raising his gauntlet, Asia hiding behind Issei, a couple sparks crackling through the air around Akeno's hand, and finally an Aura of malice forming around Rias as she raises a hand, palm held outwards towards the side of Riser's head, Drill girl muttering about how cool I am...
"That's enough."
Everyone pauses as the temperature of the room drops a good ten degrees.
"…"
Issei coughs in the background, breaking the tension.
I scoff as I toss the gun over my shoulder and walk away. "Fine then, this is boring, I'm leaving... why don't you devils have a death battle or something to decide who is right? I don't fucking care anymore."
I let out a quiet yawn then sit down where I was before, Blond girl trying desperately to silently get my attention in any way barring actually touching me.
'probability that I will have a chance to wipe that fucker's smug grin off his face?'
Yes 23.5%
No 76.5%
'let's just...'
Yes 51.4%
No 48.6%
'I don't think I can actually do any more without passing out... meh... I'll do it tomorro-'
'Unless...'
'hn... that... might work...'
The maid folds her hands behind her back. "Lord Riser, Lady Rias, as you know, I am here by order of Sirzechs, so that means that there will be no disruptions of peace past what has already occurred."
"Hn..." The blond prick grunts. "When told something so ominous by one who is known by the 'Ultimate Queen', even Riser can become fearful."
"Stop talking in third person, you fucking mongoloid, you are making my braincells commit suicide." I scoff as I cross my arms.
The maid shoots me a glare. "My master predicted that there would be a conflict of some sort... as such, he has assigned me a last resort should communication breakdown."
"Yes, of course he did..." Rias sighs. "Would you care to be a little more specific?"
"If my lady chooses to put her personal preferences above her family, she is to settle this in a rating game against lord Riser."
I tune out Issei's question to Akeno, as I already know fully well what a rating game is, it was actually one of the first things Mittelt told me about devil culture.
"Well, Riser finds that amusing as he has already played through numerous rating games and scored several wins for himself~" smug prick smugly smuggs "Unfortunately, my inexperienced bride has failed to even qualify for an official game~"
"Bitch, you look like you are more than double your actual age... like how the fuck do you get wrinkles as a dude at like the age of twenty?"
"Rias, I have to ask, are these all of your servants?" Riser hums.
"And what if they are?" Rias growls.
Riser smirks and snaps once, creating a red magic circle, summoning thirteen more girls from it with a blast of fire. "Riser has fifteen pieces... in other words, I have a complete set."
"F-fifteen... and they're all hot as hell!" Issei gasps. "D-Damnit! Issei hates him so much!"
"A complete set of incomitance and little girls, you complete pedophile." I scoff. "Your next line is 'Human, you are beginning to irk me...' to you."
"Human you are beginning to irk me..."
Issei begins sobbing somewhere behind me. "Why can't I be this guuuuy!"
"Koneko." I deadpan.
*Crunch*
"MY SHIN! IT SHOULDN'T BEND THAT WAY!"
"oh?" I hum as prop my head with my arm with a slightly smug grin. "Aren't you surprised that I predicted what you would say next?"
Riser scowls slightly and clenches his fist.
I point to my cheek. "Wooow~ you look mad, why don't you come on over here and punch me, I'll even give you a free shot~"
He tenses, eyebrow twitching.
"But first, you should probably check your pocket, it's obvious that an incompetent fool like you would fail to notice, but I pickpocketed something that looks preeety important while you were busy being punched in your bitch face~" I hum.
He pauses and reaches into his pocket, only to recoil and let out a hiss of pain as a silver object on a small necklace chain tumbles out of his pocket as he pulls it out, revealing a cross. "YOU HUMAN WELP! A CROSS?! HOW DARE YOU! MIRA SHOW THIS FILTH HIS PLACE."
"Are you really sending a little girl after me? What, are you scared that I would kick your ass so hard your vertebrae would pop out of your mouth one by one like a fucking pez dispenser?" I scoff as I push off the couch and watch as a short loli with blue hair shaped sort of like an X blurs forwards out of the group of girls.
I duck under a roundhouse kick, then barely bend backwards out of the way of her blunted staff as she lands with a small twirl.
She stabs the end forwards much like a spear, but I deflect it around me with my left forearm and catch her follow-up punch with a single hand.
*Crack*
"Oh? Did she break your hand?" Riser smugly hums.
The girl recoils, drops her staff and screams, clutching the hand she punched with at the wrist with her other hand, shards of glass imbedded in her knuckles and her skin smoking. "AAAAAGH!"
"She broke something..." I scoff. "Just go back over there with your FRIENDS!"
With the final word I punt her across the room where she tumbles to a stop at the foot of the horde of women who are all looking particularly murderous while a woman in robes crouching next to the blue haired girl. "Mira you are going to be fine; a little holy water didn't hurt anyone... much..."
A warm blue glow comes from her hands and the shards of glass are removed from her hand and water is pulled off her skin and from the wounds.
Riser lets out a low growl.
"Riser phenix... let me make something very clear before you try to attack me again... do you own this city?"
"…"
"No, you don't, yet you still brought not only yourself, but you also brought your entire peerage to flex on a little girl who- is quite annoying- but that isn't the point... did you get permission to be here? From the way Rias reacted at the way you showed up, she didn't know you would be here, and I doubt that bitch from the student council would have just 'forgotten' to tell what I assume to be her best friend- which I am assuming at the fact that she does all the paperwork and tolerates Red over here weebing it up over here doing whatever the hell she pleases. So, I am going to say that you have shown up without announcing yourself purely to be a dick, not to mention the blatant stalking via your familiar which I saw outside the window literally every. Single. Day. Last week." I rant. "So, my point is this: you are a guest here, yet you have the AUDACITY to not only attack a human under the protection of TWO heiresses- admittedly not unprovoked, because, yes, I am a bastard- yet you also threatened to kill all of her peerage in the presence of her BROTHER'S QUEEN! Honestly you are just a walking mess of stupid actions and smugness, aren't you? You think you are untouchable just because you heal quick? You are just a pathetic weakling who relies on a simple gimmick to survive."
"honestly, that is a little rich coming from me considering I base my entire life on an anime character, but..." I let out a scoff. "Honestly, I, a normal human could absolutely demolish you in a fight."
The temperature of this room has been steadily rising for the past minute, now it is sitting near a nice, horribly annoying, eighty-five.
"So, why don't you take your peerage of little shits, and get the fuck out of here? Have your death battle with Rias in two weeks or so, I mean, fair is fair, right? She is missing, what? One bishop, one rook, one knight, and seven pawns? And I don't know much about chess, but I know rooks, bishops, and knights are op as hell, so she is clearly at an even larger disadvantage, wouldn't it be so much sweeter to crush her after giving her two weeks to get her hopes up and train? "
The temperature suddenly stops Risering as the smug bastard himself smirks. "Human, you are irksome, and one day... I will kill you myself for what you did to my adorable Mira, but... you made a good point..."
"I could ruin you with four words." I scoff.
"Riser will give you, my beautiful Rias two weeks to train~ make what you can of your last days without being my bride!" He laughs. "Ravel."
The girl beside me flinches as her name is suddenly called.
"We are leaving. Get away from that filth"
"O-Okay!" She exclaims as she quickly gets up and speed walks over towards the group of girls.
The purple haired woman wraps her arms around Riser and kisses his cheek as they disappear.
"Weeeelll I'm bored now~" I hum as I get up. "Heeeey Sakuya Izayoi, can I talk to you for a minute? Like... outside?"
'wow... I am sort of surprised I managed to pull that off.'
I managed to convince her to inform her boss that this would be a good opportunity to test 'his' new idea of a free-for-all variant of a Rating game, which he plans to base a tournament around, the winner gaining a favor from the satans, but in this case, it's just to decide the fate of Rias Gremory.
I'm going to wait just a bit before I gather my team, considering the thing isn't even going to happen for two weeks, I plan to ask Zen, Wes, and Kohaku, but not Mittelt as she would probably FREAK THE FUCK OUT at the notion of me exposing myself to all of the devils who might be watching the rating game.
I open the door. "Milly~ I'm back from the hellscape~"
"Oh, there's my favorite pillow." She scoffs. "I was wondering where it went, I normally find it by now."
"…"
"To be clear, yes, I was talking about how you are normally here a lot earlier today, what happened?" She clarifies.
"Ah." I blink as I tilt my head. "Weeeell, not much actually, just normal club stuff, figuring out how to train my familiar..."
I look over towards the German shepherd sized lizard with two heads, each with a long neck and two short and stubby horns, and a long tail that splits into two near the end.
"I have no idea how the actual FUCK you managed that..." Mittelt mutters. "How did you manage to find a good-natured HYDRA?!"
"Asspull." I hum as I hop over the back of the couch and let her lean on my shoulder.
If you couldn't guess by this point, yes, we are dating, we have been for like three weeks now.
I pat my legs. "Come here, Hydranoid."
"I can't believe you named him that..." She sighs as the miniaturized hydra crawls over to the couch and lays its heads in my lap allowing me to gently pet its heads.
Hydranoid is... fairly special... he is probably the only 'Good' hydra that has EVER existed... created by my powers when I hit him on the heads with a very big rock... the form he takes now is just a shrunken form he takes so he can fit in Mittelt's- and I guess it is technically mine now that I sort of live with her- house. Normally, he, even as a juvenile, has heads the size of car tires and is a little more than twenty-five feet long, but like this, he is a nice huggable size.
"I can't believe you knew about Bakugan before I had to force you to start watching animes." I shoot back.
"H-Hey, it was one of the only things on Tv back when I still lived with my dad." She pouts.
"Eh, I have seen bits and pieces here and there, I remember season four being confusing as FUCK like they just decided, hey, drago has a gun, bakugan can fuse now, and there are giant mechs, but don't let that be confused with the giant mechs that your bakugan can get inside~ that in and of itself is enough content for two seasons MINIMUM, possibly three if they went the whole 'Bakugan now can use tanks and airplanes route', yet they forced all of that down into like forty episodes... if I remember correctly, didn't they have that bit where the giant mechs that you could enter was fighting in the real world? I think I remember that they were fighting in the real world at some point, and I don't mean Season one..."
"Lu, you are going on an anime tangent." Mittelt deadpans.
"Ah, sorry about that." I shyly and scratch the back of my head. "I guess it is sort of like that for all things really, did you hear about how pokemon are going to be getting this new thing called 'mega evolution'? And even with my luck there is no possible way I could learn how to play Yugioh at this point, it has, what, five series, each adding a new feature that is completely different from the last?-"
"Lu."
"Right, right, I'm done." I hum. "So, what's on the agenda today? We caught up with jojos, should we finish the first season of digimon? Maybe try Sao season two? Hn, but I heard the second season was shitty... hmmm... we could always start on Fairytail, it has nearly two hundred episodes or so, hmmm..."
"We could always try and tackle one piece?" Mittelt suggests.
"Hn... we have been avoiding that one, haven't we?" I mutter. "Sure, let's get these five hundred plus episodes over with."
She leans her head against my shoulder. "Alrighty then, let's do this then~"
And thus, I sat with a beast with venom so vile, it could kill a high class devil in seconds... and Hydranoid was there too~ HAH! Nah, I was actually talking about my pet hydra... Mittelt could probably kill a high-class devil in seconds as well, but... eh... she has a racial advantage.
Meanwhile~
"Hey, Wes, you want to go get some chicken nuggets? I got a coupon~"
"Sure, sounds nice..." The blond shota hums as he stands up.
They both silently walk down the sidewalk for a good five or so minute.
"Hey, Zen..." Wes begins as he blankly looks over to his black-haired older brother figure. "I miss Lu..."
"I do too." The dark-haired prince of Kuoh sighs. "But, he has a girlfriend now, and I can understand why he would decide to spend time with her over us, he wasn't able to have anything like that back at Uratama and well, he probably doesn't want to lose it... it certainly doesn't help that the people at school constantly shove him away from us either... that was probably the small fracture that started everything."
"Mn... yeah..." The blond sighs as he shakes his head. "But did he really have to move out? That... sort of hurt, you know?"
"Yeah, it di-" he is cut off by the sound of someone dragging a pipe or something down a fence.
Zen shivers and blankly gazes off into the distance like he is having a Nam flashback.
He blinks it off and turns to look at Wes. "Let's go get that food, yeah?"
He turns around and begins to walk again, but about thirty feet ahead, is a girl, maybe seventeen with shoulder length black hair, wearing a red turtleneck and simple grey sweatpants, her eyes have red iris with black slightly heart shaped pupils, she has a slightly sadistic and evil grin, showing off a couple pearly white teeth. "Ooooh, looks like I finally found you little shits~ you thought YOU could run from ME?! now, where is little ol lucy-lu?"
Zen and Wes slowly gape and take a shaky step back as the girl's voice shifts into an angry growl
"I have been meaning to pay him back for leaving me handcuffed to the roof of that warehouse."
Zen and Wes simply do what is acceptable at this point... they both point at her and...
""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-""
Do that...
You know, I have quite a few fanfics I will probably never relase, I write the ideas then decide 'huh... this is shit' about 10k words in, that rwby D&d fic is probably never happening, I decided that there are WAAY too many dice rolls in the middle of combat
You know what? Ill make a story where I dump all my oneshots, and if people like them enough I will try to make them into real stories...
Some of my time has also been being taken up by a new fic I am working on which is basically 'What would happen if a guy EVERYONE could understand (A fucking fat neet with no girlfriend and an unhealthy lifestyle) gets fucking plastered on the hood of a car and gets the chance to reincarnate into another universe with special powers! Then he just chooses the stand [The World] from jojo's bizarre adventure, and goes to Rwby universe purely for 'waifuz' not to save the world, not to beat salem, not to save Summer, but to seduce several of the wonderful waifus of Remnant... though I mean, he will be probably the most overpowered character in the series besides the writers who pull a fucking JK Rowling and decide to infect literally all the main characters with 'the gay' to appease their rabid fanbase.
(Nothing against gays, but in the early seasons they set up Blake and Sun to be a couple then through it in the trash, now with Qrow throwing lusty eyes at guy with a good luck semblance I am about to fucking kill myself)
Tldr: the gays are a probl- no, not that- *AHEM* if you want gay characters, that's fine, but don't shove them where they aren't needed or drastically change a character just to appease your fanbase. That makes me angy.
I cant believe I had to write two clarifications for that last joke I made, but I guess I must, because on one of my other stories I got hate reviews for a character (An edgy like 13 year old boy) jokingly calling a character a faggit (As in 'Get rekt faggit') in relation to him not being able to capture him because of his overpowered portal ability... (Portalz is dead btw)
ANYWAYS, I haven't even begun on chapter 8 so I am feeling the burn! But I know what I want to do with the Riser arc so it should be fine... I'm just sort of lazy...
See you all later~