Word Count: 11,385 (there was really nowhere I could find to split this chapter...)
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with 911, Fox, or anything else related to that particular universe.
Warnings: This chapter contains explicit sexual content.
He was hours overtime by the time he finally left HQ, hands hidden inside the pockets of his hoodie even though there was still heat embedded in the concrete, and the walls, and his car. It didn't matter that it was closer to midnight than midday, that somewhere above all the light pollution of LA were galaxies of stars and constellations. None of it could be seen. None of it could be felt. None of it seemed to matter.
Ordinarily, he'd want to go home and sleep because Chris would be up early and there were things like breakfast to deal with and activities to plan. But they'd all had to provide detailed statements to explain why Polson had pulled the trigger and Walker had said the magical words "emotionally compromised" during the debrief. If he'd had the energy to think about it, he could have thumped his best friend to the ground for even suggesting that he'd been anything less than professional. Perhaps the fact that he hadn't reacted like someone had lit his fuse was why Athena had refused to allow him to leave HQ until he attended a mandatory counselling session.
Peter had brought up George, and the pier, and that had led to discussing Chris, and Shannon. He refused to concede that he might have been emotionally compromised but he wasn't deaf or blind to the overlap between his story and George's.
And now he was drained, and alone, and his hands were shaking. His personal phone had a series of texts from Abuela that she'd keep Christopher overnight and into tomorrow if he needed the sleep. It was too late to text her back but it wasn't the first time he'd been involved in something that would've made the news. He appreciated her calm adaptation to his situations and erratic calls and extended hours more than he could have ever explained to her.
So, ordinarily he'd go home but now that he didn't have to…
He pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes, trying to rub away the exhaustion and the devastation and everything else that left him feeling both shaken and numb. He didn't want to go home and stare at the empty ceiling. He didn't want to go home and stare at the clock ticking away minutes. He didn't want to go home and face the silence of a house without Christopher's breathing across the hall.
The Mark against his shoulder tugged at his awareness. He was almost growing used to the feeling that it was reminding him of what he really wanted but kept avoiding, out of fear, or terror, or anxiety, or insecurity. He'd clearly given parts of himself so willingly, too willingly, to the kiss that had been almost six weeks ago, and then he'd been freaking out ever since.
"Fuck, Diaz," he muttered, pulling at the ends of his hair before turning the key and putting the car in drive. He was a disaster, and a mess, and it didn't take him as long as he'd hoped to park outside the bar he'd resisted for weeks and weeks. His throat tightened when he saw the bike propped close to one wall, having a feeling that if he truly paid more attention to the Mark, it would probably lead him anywhere through the city to Buck. That was how they worked sometimes, like Fate was trying to reel two broken parts together. And Eddie was nothing if not broken.
There were still lights inside, he could hear the low thump of music, the EVERACES neon sign glowed above the door, and now that he was this close, his skin itched like ants were crawling down his spine. He didn't want to face the twisting agony that he'd had at Athena's barbecue, having read enough in the interim to know that was because he was trying to avoid the possibilities that Fate had clearly Marked him with. It was impossible to avoid Buck when things beyond his control would ensure they kept meeting. Maybe that was why all – almost all, Eddie corrected – of Buck's marks were pale. Somehow, Buck knew how to protect his heart.
Eddie wasn't so good at protecting it but it wasn't like he was littered in red and black Marks either.
With a sigh, he pulled the hoodie over his head and locked the car behind him. The bouncer checked his ID, flashed a torch in his face, and then waved him inside.
It was quieter than last time, probably because of the later hour. There were a handful of people by the bar, a few others on couches scattered around low tables. Eddie didn't even know what he was doing there, he just…knew he didn't want to go home.
He found a seat in a corner booth, peering past the hood to spy on Buck moving around the bar. The coloured lights on the ceiling made his pale skin glow, his biceps barely contained by a pale grey shirt that was probably a size too small just to add to the effect. He didn't seem affected by the distance between them, though Eddie knew those blue eyes had watched him a few times during the course of the barbecue and he'd studiously avoided looking over. When it had reached a point that it was acceptable enough to leave, he'd kept away from Buck even though Chris had asked if they were going to say goodbye to the 'drawing man'.
And in the interim… In the interim, Eddie had done his best to push thoughts of Buck out of his mind, to stop checking the Mark that would never change colour, to remember what he'd had with Shannon and honour it. Chris had been confused at the photo's appearance on the bedside table rather than the dresser and Eddie hadn't been able to offer an explanation that his son would understand.
But now…
"Can I get you something?"
He looked up from where his hands were folded together on top of the table, thumbnails digging into flesh. There were crescent indents when he forced himself to stop but he didn't feel the sting. He didn't feel anything. A girl was looking at him expectantly, fake smile fixed and too bright.
"Whatever IPA beer you have in a bottle," he said, knowing he had more than 48 hours to clear it from his system. One benefit of a longer, shitty call – a longer off-time demanded of the team so they could gather themselves again.
The girl nodded and flounced away and Eddie returned his attention to his hands. They weren't shaking anymore, not like he'd expected, but sometimes he was reminded of Lady Macbeth and her "Out, damned spot, out!" and he could understand the madness she must have felt, haunted by the lives she had been responsible for encouraging Macbeth to take. It was different for Eddie – he'd pulled triggers, he'd thrown knives – but the feeling that your hands were tainted in blood and misery and death?
He could understand that feeling.
"Hey, here you go." He twitched more than he would have liked at recognising Buck's voice, bowing his head a little more like it could help conceal his features. "Do you want something to eat to go with that?"
He couldn't remember when he'd last eaten – probably breakfast, before the shift had started – but the thought of food… He shook his head and heard the quiet hum of acknowledgement, followed by retreating steps as Buck returned to the bar.
When he'd been stuck in the debriefs, all he could think about was getting so drunk that he blacked out and the images of George's falling body were blotted from his memory. Now that he had the chance to actually drink something, he realised he didn't want that either. The beer was too bitter and bubbly and cold, and it wasn't like it was the fault of Buck or the girl for his vague request but it wasn't what he wanted. Which made him realise he still didn't know what he wanted because everything from the day just kept turning over and over in his head, from innumerable angles like he was meant to re-analyse every step of the beat cops, and his team, and the words he'd spoken to try to calm George's agitation or despair, to look for what could have been done differently. It didn't matter that he'd already picked everything apart in the debriefs – that that was the very role of the debriefs, so he didn't think like this and could go home with a clearer conscience. It didn't matter that George had insisted he had no one, and so there would presumably be no one to grieve for him. These were the parts he couldn't silence. These were the parts that had made Athena demand he do something to unwind after rough shifts.
Maybe that was why he'd ended up near Buck. He might not be able to draw him but he was associated with some aspect of the unwinding process.
He scratched the label on the bottle into ribbons with his nail, more interested in destroying it than drinking it. Maybe that's what it was that he wanted, breaking everything around him like somehow it could help him make sense of the day. He no longer knew. He was no longer certain. Everything felt like it had been ripped inside out and he wasn't even trying to hold it together anymore. His fragile attempts at control were shredded.
"Do you want another- Hm. You haven't had much of that. Not enjoying it?"
Terrified and tired though he was, he lifted his eyes to meet Buck's and watched the moment recognition flashed across his face when enough light caught across the shadows.
"Well. You look like shit."
He swallowed dryly. If he looked anything like he felt, then 'shit' was probably an understatement. "Difficult day."
"Yeah?" And then he saw when the penny truly dropped because Buck's eyes widened, his mouth parting a little. "Wait, you were part of-?"
Eddie nodded, gaze sliding back to the grip his hands had around the bottle. It was different now, he thought. Now that Buck knew what he did. Now that Buck could have an awareness of what he did when a call went bad and it hit the trending topics, or the live newsfeeds. Now that Buck could put together the pieces that quickly to understand why he wanted to be a shadow.
"Shit." Buck slid into the opposite booth, hands reaching towards Eddie's before they froze partway along the table, perhaps realising that they might not be welcomed. "And you, uh…you came here? After- After that?"
Eddie shrugged, the lights catching on the crescents in the back of his hands when he set his palms against the timber. "I didn't want to go home…" He could only hope that his quiet words spoke volumes to Buck, that the meanings he couldn't say were clear enough.
"Okay." One of Buck's hands finally covered his and even though Eddie felt like a shell, the warmth of Buck's fingers seeped into his skin. For a too-brief minute, some of the sickening churning in his stomach eased and the aching pain across his shoulders lessened. "We don't close til after 1:30. Are you gonna stay til then?"
He couldn't bring himself to turn his hand and fold it inside Buck's, but he didn't pull away from it either. He managed to meet Buck's eyes, wavering with the fear of expressing his needs when he'd been flat-out avoiding Buck since the kiss weeks ago. He knew it was so late that he didn't have a lot of options. He'd ignored Walker and Nicholls' attempt to engage him in conversation and he'd told Athena that Polson should have insubordination for defying a direct order recorded in her file. He didn't know where else to go and that was why he was here.
"What?" The pressure of Buck's hand squeezed against him, an eyebrow raised. Perhaps his indecision was obvious.
"I- I can stay," he relented, barely a whisper as he traced the lines of a face he knew so well.
Buck held his gaze for a long minute before squeezing his hand again and nodding. "If you change your mind-"
He loosened his hand to flip it, capturing Buck's fingers within his own before he could think too much about it. "I won't," he promised, because he'd come here for a reason. He didn't know why, he didn't know what he expected Buck to do, but Fate wanted him here and right now, Eddie needed to feel like he had someone he could reach out to because otherwise he'd spend the 48-hours off-shift making a lot of terrible decisions. The rest of the team had all scattered before he was finished with the counselling session and he'd felt terribly alone and unmoored when swapping into jeans and a t-shirt that felt like they belonged to someone else, some other version of him, after the day he'd had.
Buck watched him, something assessing behind his eyes. "Okay," he said again, like it was that easy to let go of how much of an asshole Eddie had been. Maybe it was when you weren't Marked. Maybe it was when you were almost entirely covered with pale pink Marks. "I'll make sure we're ready to go as soon as we close, alright?"
Eddie nodded and even though he felt chilled by the loss of Buck's hand, he understood the guy was still on the clock, still had a little under an hour until he'd be able to leave, and Eddie couldn't cling to him forever. Buck gave a somewhat nervous, somewhat encouraging smile and slid from the booth.
Eddie shifted further into the corner of the booth, shielding himself in the darkness and the hoodie. At some point, he'd withdrawn his phone and started thumbing through social media posts of what his sisters were doing, or what his mother had reposted, or what the latest fashion trends were simply to find ways to pass the time and keep his mind occupied. The distraction hadn't worked for long before he'd started trying some of the games Chris had downloaded to his phone for longer car trips, but they were too cheesy and childish and his interest waned. He almost thought of asking Buck for a pencil and paper but he didn't want to expose how poor his drawing skills were.
Minutes felt like hours before he felt Buck slide in next to him, shoulders and thighs brushing.
"All done," Buck murmured with a hand settling in the middle of Eddie's back, gentle but reassuring. "You don't want to go home. Do you know what you do want?"
Eddie switched off the screen and placed the phone on the table, gaze darting around the empty and silent bar that looked different with dimmed white lights now that the rainbow fairy lights had been extinguished.
"I'm not sure I'd be here if I knew the answer to that," he admitted, barely able to look at Buck when he felt the hand shift a little against him. "I don't- I don't mean I regret being here, just that… I felt so…lost and… I didn't even know if you'd be working here tonight but I- I knew all my family would be asleep and the team had already gone and I was…" His breathing hitched, eyes blinking closed while he tried to steady himself. "I was alone and I- I didn't want to be."
Buck's hand tugged the back of his hoodie until the fabric slipped away, exposing him more than he would have liked, and light knuckles brushed against his cheek and under his jaw in an affectionate gesture that tore at his heart. "I'm here, Eddie."
"I know," he whispered, fighting against the hysteria that threatened to engulf him if he let it. "And I don't deserve it. Not after I- Not after I've treated you so badly."
"Eddie-"
"No." He shook his head, eyes cracking open to stare at Buck even though it hurt. "I was- I got scared and I was selfish. I'm making demands of you by showing up like this that aren't fair to you and-"
"Eddie." Buck's index finger pressed against his lips, firm enough to silence him. "You haven't demanded anything of me so far but the fact that you're here after that sort of a day? I've sat with Maddie after she's had a day of rough calls and held her, and I've seen Chim have difficult shifts and fold silently into her arms. You're allowed to reach out so that you don't go mad thinking about it. I'm not going to hold it against you that you got scared of being alone, alright?"
And that was…so much better than he deserved. So different to Shannon, who always needed him to be stronger and hold it together because sometimes she was so fragile for reasons she never talked about. He'd stayed away from Shannon on deployment when he was scared, and then she'd left with her own fears and he'd held it against her all the way up until she died. In some ways, he still was holding it against her.
And Buck just…accepted him so effortlessly.
He didn't deserve it.
But he nodded once anyway.
He tilted towards Buck and arms circled his shoulders, a cheek brushing against his hair, as Eddie sought out a desperately needed hug. When had he last truly hugged someone that wasn't a family member? Maybe when he'd broken down in the locker room last August. Almost a year ago.
He shuddered away from the memories. Buck must've misunderstood, soothing a hand down his back and pressing a kiss to his hair. "I've got you," Buck mumbled, and Eddie hadn't even realised how much his fingers had twisted into the fabric of Buck's shirt until that moment. "It's okay. You're okay. I'm here and I've got you."
He held on until some of the jumping heartbeat in his chest slowed and his palms spread across the indents of muscle and bone of Buck's back rather than being coiled into fists. He exhaled without it shaking too badly, uncovering his face from where he'd tucked it into Buck's neck.
"Thank you," he said, a gentle sort of warmth seeping beneath his skin and reducing some of the chill that had been infused in his bones the rest of his shift. He'd felt so useless as Athena benched him and put Walker in charge for any subsequent calls, stuck at HQ and wanting to tear out his hair in frustration and scream about the injustices of the universe.
Buck kissed the top of his forehead, fingers skating over his temple and around the back of his ear towards his jaw. "Any time."
Eddie wasn't sure if that was entirely true but he wasn't going to question it. Not now. Not when red strings were lifting him like a puppet until his eyes caught Buck's. He was scared, might always be scared of how Fate wove its messy hands through the important details of his life, but he wasn't known for hesitation. In his line of work, hesitating was the difference between life or death. As he'd well been reminded of today.
"Can I kiss you?"
Instead of answering, Buck closed the gap for him. There was a hand pressing against his jaw, raising his head, and he gripped tighter at whatever part of Buck's shoulder or shirt he was touching when lips sealed over his and ended coherent thought patterns. He shivered when Buck's tongue licked into his mouth, pressing closer when need seemed to overtake anxiety, twisting in Buck's embrace so that he could return the kiss with his own sort of fervour.
He was strung out far too quickly by a simple kiss when Buck pulled away, a faint smile at the corner of his mouth when his eyes scanned and, perhaps, appraised him.
"You don't want to be home alone," Buck said slowly, thumb brushing across Eddie's cheekbone as he gazed into Eddie's eyes. "Do you want to come home with me?"
And Eddie was, for lack of a better word, spellbound. It had been so long and whether he'd been emotionally compromised or not by the call to the pier, he didn't have any interest in trying to mount a resistance, didn't bother worrying about implications or ramifications. Everything within him wanted to fold around Buck, wanted to cling to him for a few hours until everything else tangling through his brain fell away.
So he nodded, stealing another kiss that Buck seemed content to return, before hands closed around his and pulled him out of the booth to his feet.
"C'mon," Buck said, hand leading him out of the bar. He switched off the lights and tugged keys from his pocket with his free hand, shutting and locking the door which left them on the top step outside, on a quiet street in the city in the early hours of the morning. "Ride with me?"
Eddie eyed the bike with trepidation, imagining exactly how Abuela would curse him out six ways to next year if she knew what he'd done. But…he didn't want to drive either. He didn't want to start freaking out again, overthinking everything until he diverted and went home. The thought of separating from Buck for even a moment, letting that invasion of noise return to his skull… He knew he didn't want that.
"You won't ride like a lunatic, will you?"
Buck laughed, tugging him towards the motorcycle. "You've met my sister and I've met your son. You reckon they wouldn't kill us if I did something like that?"
"Fair point," Eddie conceded, taking the offered helmet and watching as Buck unfolded the leather jacket from the small compartment at the back of the bike. "I don't think I've been on a motorcycle since my cousins got dirt bikes for Christmas when I was a teenager, back in El Paso."
Buck's eyebrows quirked as he zipped his jacket shut and Eddie fiddled with the straps of the helmet so that he didn't press unbidden fingers against the supple leather. "Texas boy?"
He hummed. "Born and raised til I moved out here with Chris a few years ago."
Buck took the helmet back and lifted it onto Eddie's head, clipping buckles together and raising the visor. "Should I start calling you 'Cowboy'?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, because he'd heard that one enough times when he first arrived at SWAT. "If that's your attempt at 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy' then-"
Buck flashed him a devilish smirk that stalled his brain. "I like the way you think."
He was still restarting some of the critical components of thoughts and words and strings of sentences when Buck guided him towards the bike, a leg swinging over the seat first and then Eddie got the idea of where he needed to sit behind him. He felt shy as he worked out how to sit across the bike, his chest pressed against Buck's back, able to feel every shift in his muscles through the jacket.
Hands found his, winding them around Buck's waist until they were folded together at his stomach, and he wondered if Buck could feel how hard his heart was thumping in his chest. There was a jangle of keys and then the bike roared to life, a vibrating hum beneath him that was as unfamiliar as it was exhilarating.
"Don't let go," Buck called over his shoulder as he slowly walked the bike towards the street and Eddie instinctively held on tighter, like Chris did when he was being carried up or down stairs, because this required an incredible amount of trust and balance and-
And then they were moving and it felt fast, but it couldn't have been, and the world was a dazzling array of colour and light and air passing the visor to skim over his face. He clung to Buck, feeling the clench of stomach muscles against his palms whenever they turned a corner or changed lanes and thought maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe Buck didn't work out. Maybe he just rode his bike a lot through the city at night.
A couple of times when they were stopped at empty red lights, his hands slipped lower on Buck's stomach, fingers lingering close to the line of his jeans. He might not hesitate in his life but he wasn't usually so bold either. Buck's spine had stiffened and straightened beneath his chest, a hand swatting at his somewhat-aimless, somewhat-deliberate roaming.
"You keep doing that and we'll crash," Buck said after the second time, hips shifting against the bike in an obvious display of interest. Eddie almost wondered how far he could push the other man but decided against it. Crashing wasn't a good idea.
They crossed through the city towards the south-east and Eddie stopped paying attention to exactly where they were, trying to turn off the cop-part of his brain that was always looking for danger and threats and potential accidents. By the time Buck was rolling the bike into the underground lot of an apartment building, Eddie only had a vague idea of their location and he was okay with that. He trusted Buck, he had a Mark because of Buck, and he felt calmer holding onto Buck than he had in a couple of months.
His eyes swept the empty lot when Buck turned the engine off. Now that the risk of crashing didn't seem to be so high, he deliberately moved one hand lower again. Buck shuddered, his head falling back far enough to rest on Eddie's shoulder and exposing how flushed his cheeks were.
"We don't have to do anything like that," Buck mumbled, eyes half-closing and lips parting around a soft whine when Eddie traced his fingers over the half-hard length he could already feel within the denim. He licked his lips behind the helmet, eyeing the way Buck's chest rose and fell.
"Don't we?" He withdrew his hand and Buck exhaled shakily. He wasn't sure if he was teasing or if he'd just misread Buck's suggestion to go together, but then he thought about the kiss that Buck had given him at the bar and…he realised he was confusing himself. "You had something else in mind?"
"I could just hold you," Buck said with a shrug. Eddie shifted a little behind him and Buck's eyes opened, catching some part of his expression through the gap in the helmet. "Okay, yeah, stupid suggestion. I like your idea better."
Eddie snorted, forcing his hands off Buck's body so they could get off the bike and Buck could help him with the helmet. Once it was gone, once Buck had stowed it in the compartment at the back of the bike, Eddie was tugging Buck towards him and kissing him with a needy sort of confidence he hadn't felt in a long time. After being afraid of Buck for so long, afraid of the Mark and everything that it meant, he knew he was giving in to the pull between them and he'd deal with the fallout of his lonely pair of Marks and Buck's many pink later.
"Yeah, okay, definitely ditching the 'holding you' part of the idea until afterwards," Buck confirmed in a rapid scramble of speech when Eddie made half a step backwards to give Buck the chance to collect himself, enjoying the dazed look in his blue eyes a little too much. A large hand slid into his own, pulling him towards the elevator. Buck barely spared it a glance after he'd pressed the button, pushing Eddie against the wall beside it and kissing him so fiercely Eddie was pretty sure his brain blanked for a few seconds
"Are we even going to make it to your place?" he joked when the elevator dinged and the doors whooshed open, stumbling slightly when Buck practically pushed him inside and grinned at him with something like giddy excitement and outright desire. It was a heady mix, one that created butterflies in his stomach when he realised just how far he was willing to go, just how much he was willing to do with a man that was still practically a stranger.
"It's not that far," Buck pointed out as he jabbed the 4 on the control panel with one hand, fingers tight among Eddie's with the other.
The Mark on his shoulder seemed to pulse in time with his heartbeat and it was disorienting to feel it so clearly in two different locations, somehow scattering an almost-disjointed rhythm across his skin. He leaned into Buck, lips pressing a kiss to his shoulder through the leather, attempting to settle some of the nerves that fluttered to life inside him.
"Hey." Buck cupped his cheek with his spare hand, lifting his face as blue eyes searched over his face again like he knew exactly what was knotting Eddie's stomach and thoughts. "I meant it, you know. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. After the day you've had, you're running the show with what you want, alright?"
"It's just…been a while," he said, eyes flicking towards the slowly increasing numbers on the elevator screen.
"Yeah?" Buck's thumb brushed over his lips, tugging free the lower one that Eddie hadn't even realised he'd tugged between his teeth in an obvious display of his uncertainty. "All the more reason for you to be careful and look after yourself, Eddie. I'm not going to be offended if you change your mind here and just want a drink and a couch to crash on."
And Buck… There was something so calm and gentle and reassuring about his words, how generous he'd been to allow Eddie the chance to stay with him tonight – or in the early hours of the morning – and how Eddie didn't feel any sort of pressure to make a decision one way or the other. He appreciated it because even though his blood felt warm with want, it meant that Buck somehow cared as well.
He tilted his head into Buck's hand, placing a soft kiss on the centre of his palm to convey his thanks. "Are you like this with everyone or just the ones you've known have had shitty days?"
Buck wrinkled his nose at the question, like he'd missed the teasing threaded among Eddie's tone. "Consent is important, Eddie," he said firmly, with a squeeze to his hand that almost seemed like a warning. "Rushing headlong into anything with anyone should be talked about before you actually fall into bed with them just so there aren't any regrets later."
"Sorry, that was-" He blinked, gaze slipping to the floor when he wondered how many times Buck had given that same little speech to so many people which had led to so many pink Marks. The warmth in him had been replaced by a small bite of cold, a hint of shame that somehow he'd been insensitive to Buck just trying to…to what? To look out for him making the right decision when he was almost certainly all mixed up from the day? "I didn't mean to- to offend you or anything, Buck."
"I'm not offended." Buck tapped his nose with his thumb, lifting his head and trying to catch his eyes again. "I just don't want you to do something you'll regret when you wake up in the morning and then I don't see you again for two months. It hurt enough the first time."
And Eddie… Eddie didn't have a response to that. It was a fair statement, even though it felt like it skewered straight through him and pinned him to the wall like a mounted butterfly.
The elevator dinged, doors whooshing open as if to mock him that everything he could've wanted was so close if he just stopped overthinking everything. Maybe that was Fate's way of laughing at him again.
Buck stared at him, his blue eyes lacking judgement as his thumb stroked a smooth line across his cheek. "What do you want, Eddie?"
He stared back, almost certainly visibly hesitating, trying to work out if this was happening too fast. He'd first laid eyes on Buck five months ago but there was still so much he didn't know. Once he'd met Buck's sister at Athena's party, it was clear Buck was a nickname for his last name because surely no parent would scar their kid with the name Buck Buckley. Which meant he was at Buck's apartment and didn't even know his first name, for God's sake. Yet he was here, and his truck was halfway across the city, and Buck could be a serial murderer for all he knew. His team might find his dismembered body parts all over the city over the next few weeks.
The red Mark on his shoulder made it clear he was meant to get to know Buck better though, or at least that there was a connection that was going to keep drawing them close. How else would he have expected a complicated series of connections through his work to Buck? And the thought of pulling away now was almost painful. It was like the invisible strings wound around him were so tight that he wasn't sure how he could possibly break them now. He just wanted to sink into them, sink into Buck, and if he didn't know Buck's first name then maybe he could also find a way to forget his own.
More than anything, he knew he could, and he had to, trust his gut. As a leader in SWAT, he'd like to think his gut was pretty good at telling him if someone didn't seem like a good person. Hadn't he done that today with George? Hadn't he made an assessment that he wasn't a threat? So someone like Buck? He seemed like his heart was made of gold even if he didn't share it with many people.
"I want you," he whispered, long after the elevator doors had closed although the car hadn't moved, tracking the eyes in front of him and giving in to the instinct that Buck was okay, and Buck was good, and Buck didn't have some sort of underground dungeon where his limbs would be chopped into tiny pieces.
Buck nodded, once, and then pressed the 4 again. The doors opened and Buck led him through the silent corridor of an apartment block at rest, at odds with how loud Eddie thought his heart was beating. The keys appeared again, a lock opening, and then they were jangling against the floor because once they were through the door, Eddie was far more interested in pressing Buck against the timber and kissing him than figuring out lights, or apartment layouts, or asking more questions beyond, "Bed?"
"Upstairs," Buck mumbled, lights flaring as his hands finally caught on a switch by the door. Eddie kicked off his shoes and tugged at Buck's jacket until it lowered from his shoulders, reaching next for the buttons of his shirt while Buck hands slid under his hoodie to free the tucked t-shirt from his jeans.
"Can we-?"
Buck kissed his cheek, fingertips slipping away from his twitching abs. "Gladly. C'mon."
He followed Buck, wondering how far and how long he'd follow him for, and glancing around to make out that his apartment was nice, and it had a loft, and then he had a bed in front of him and not much else mattered except pulling the hoodie over his head and discarding it somewhere to the floor. He reached towards Buck, finishing the remaining buttons to rid the grey shirt from concealing a body he'd attempted to draw so many times, for so many hours.
In the low light that glowed from downstairs, it was harder to see all the pale pink Marks but they still seemed to glow, like they were imbued with a magic all of their own. Maybe they were. Eddie was familiar enough with the pink to know they meant a limited emotional tie, that the darker a Mark was on the range from pink to dark red meant Fate had created a stronger pull for the bearer. And these were…all so pale, like silvery inch-long scars decorating his arms and torso.
His fingertips grazed over them and he realised just how many there were when he stopped trying to count. He traced tattoos he'd spent hours sketching in class and at home. Being so close gave him a new perspective of how delicate the curve of the tattoo was against Buck's shoulder – near the black Mark that made Buck shudder when he ghosted too close to it – and how much thicker the black lines were of the tattoo on his right pec.
"They aren't all hook-ups," Buck said unexpectedly, his voice quiet as Eddie continued to stand and examine a chest he knew so well and yet felt like he didn't know at all now that he had his hands on it. "I- I have a habit of attaching to people quickly, too easily, and Fate is… When I find a new one, it's always so clear that it's not meant to last, that there's nothing behind it, and I drift again until I meet someone else and it- it happens again."
Eddie wasn't sure if it was his heart or his shoulder which ached more at the vulnerability in Buck's tone and the wariness in his eyes. He worried what it meant if Buck attached too quickly when Eddie had such a dark red Mark on his skin, if he'd join the legions of pale pink at some point and Buck would vanish from his life. He wondered if his Mark would stay red, or maybe it would eventually blacken like Shannon's once had. Fate taunting them with how opposite they were with their hearts and feelings, a cruel reminder that they had no real power over anything.
"I- I'm scared," Buck admitted, and Eddie looked up at him in confusion, afraid maybe he'd done something wrong. He stilled his hands but Buck quickly shook his head. "No, not you, Eddie. I- I'm just- I'm scared that…that maybe this is all there is? That Fate is- That I'm not meant to…to find anyone else, that I'll…be alone and this is the best I'll ever have, more and more Marks until I'm more pale pink than white."
Eddie thumbed over the line of the black Mark, watching the way Buck's eyes shuttered. "This? I don't know the story behind this but you and I both know this was more important and it meant something and that your fears aren't true."
Buck's breathing hitched. "It was already such a surprise when I woke up and it was red and- and I had feelings for someone I knew I couldn't have. And then she- She did but it was for such a brief time before it burned all the way through and it was… It almost felt like a joke, like I could, like someone else could, somehow, but…but I still wasn't enough."
Eddie could remember the slump in Buck's shoulders and the distant look in his eyes the week that he'd peeled his shirt away and exposed the blackened Mark. He could remember how much he'd wanted to take that pain away, just as he did now. "I believe you're enough, Buck."
"But what if-"
"There are worse things," he said, with a slight shake of his head, pulling his hands away. At first, Buck looked afraid that he was pulling away completely, but he only put enough distance between them to unbuckle the strap of his watch. He glanced toward the ceiling as he exposed the scar on the inside of his wrist that he tried to hide as much as possible. Buck saw it, a sparkle of tears filling his eyes when he recognised the implications. "There are worse things than all of your pink, Buck. It might scare you to feel alone, and it might frighten you that Fate is messing with you, but I can handle this," he said, lowering his gaze and pressing his right palm to Buck's bare chest, "if you can handle that," he said with a nod towards his exposed wrist. He knew he could only make that promise because he had a red Mark seared across his shoulder, but it was enough. It was a promise he could definitely make.
Buck's hand wavered as his caught Eddie's arm, throat bobbing around a swallow. Eddie tried not to tremble too noticeably at the light touch of Buck's fingers sweeping reverently over the flesh that he'd barely shared with anyone in almost a year.
"Chris' mom?" Buck asked, and Eddie was surprised Buck remembered the name of his kid, and could connect ideas so quickly.
He released a shaky breath and nodded. "Almost 11 months ago," he whispered and Buck frowned between the Mark and Eddie's eyes, the calculation in his expression obvious. "The tsunami. She- She didn't-"
"She was there?" Buck said in dawning realisation, lifting his hand until his lips pressed against the scar. The feelings that small but powerful gesture unleashed in Eddie's chest… He couldn't stop the single tear sliding down his cheek if he'd wanted to. There was so much tenderness that it was overwhelming to the frayed, raw ends of his nerves.
"She- She was at the pier with Chris." His breathing caught when Buck kissed the scar again and then held his hand, helping to ground him in something that wasn't a tumultuous mess of feelings. He'd already talked about this in the counselling session earlier, but everything with George had torn him to shreds, left him feeling like his chest had been ripped open and he was leaving a trail of blood everywhere he went today. "Chris made it but she… She didn't."
"Oh God, Eddie," Buck exhaled, squeezing his hand tightly. "I'm so sorry. And then today-"
"Y-Yeah…" He felt like his throat was closing up on him, fresh tears bubbling over the edge of his control. Everything George had said was far too close to the reality he'd struggled with for almost a year. That George hadn't found Penny definitely hit too close to home, and he would never concede that Walker knew him well enough to know he'd had to have been hurting with George but…George hadn't been a threat, he was sure of it. "We- We were separated before that though. It- It turned black while I was deployed and I- I knew it was over before I came home."
Buck drew him into a hug, arm circling his shoulders and a hand rubbing at the back of his neck. It helped slow some of the ragged breaths escaping his lungs as wave after wave of hurt crashed into him. "Deployed? Army?"
He nodded, resisting falling through that particular doorway in favour of brushing his free hand down Buck's Marked arm. There were only so many things he wanted to discuss tonight after pulling himself apart in the therapy session. He'd come to Buck to forget, not to share his pain with someone else.
"I just… I needed you to know there are worse things than how you look to me." He bit his lip, index finger skimming along Buck's collarbone and down towards his sternum. "And I- Even if you end up with another pale Mark because of me, that doesn't mean you have to just give up and move on. It took me a while to figure out how I felt about Shannon. Fate is…fickle like that."
"You don't have to be so nice about them," Buck mumbled, eyes averted when Eddie peeked at him.
Eddie began to realise that he thought Buck was okay with all the Marks, that he willingly exposed them in classes or that he revealed with a perverse sort of pride while working at the bar. Except the way Buck spoke, the way he looked, indicated that they may actually be a source of deep shame and insecurity. He knew the stories of people who went mad with too many Marks, whose lives were so lonely and unfulfilled that they became depressed. Maybe his feelings were like Eddie with his scar, and yet the opposite because Eddie was lonely and unfulfilled because he'd never felt enough for anyone to have many Marks.
"They're a part of you, Buck," he said simply, shifting so he could place both palms on the Marked chest, feeling the heartbeat leaping against his skin. It beat faster than Eddie's heart, slightly erratic, and it occurred to him that Buck was very good at zoning out during class but maybe this anxiety thrumming through him was always there. Maybe exposing his skin to the eyes of others was terrifying. He could remember the collective intake of breath when Buck had first removed his shirt. "They're a part of you, but they're not all you are," he continued and Buck met his eyes, glittering with barely suppressed tears. "Okay?"
Buck nodded, throat bobbing again before he leaned in and pressed their lips together. This kiss was slower, more deliberate, one that made Eddie ache a little because the feverish desperation from before was gone. It had been replaced by a slow heat that spread from his shoulder to his heart to his belly and all the way to his fingertips and his toes. It coiled deep within him, a satisfied sort of hum that made him feel calm and safe again.
Buck tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and he lifted his arms, breaking the kiss for the briefest of moments so that the fabric could be removed, before pressing in again. He felt Buck's hands close at his waist, nails scraping over sensitive skin. Flares of arousal erupted across his shoulders as he groaned against Buck's mouth.
"I take back what I said," Buck murmured, nose skimming along Eddie's jaw and kissing down the side of his neck.
Eddie was trying to think through everything Buck had ever said but it was really, really hard when Buck was playing him like an expert pianist and he eventually gave up trying to remember. "What're you taking back?"
Buck laughed, eyes shimmering with amusement which was a welcome contrast to the tears of before. "I'm not going to draw you. I couldn't do you justice."
He snorted, kissing the mark above Buck's brow when it passed in front of him as that sinful mouth moved across his throat to kiss the other side of his neck which was absolutely short-circuiting critical parts of his brain. "Now- Now you know how I feel about you."
Buck shook his head, taking half a step back and scanning over Eddie's torso. The desire in his dark eyes was unmistakable and Eddie felt parts of his body heat that had been dormant for a very long time. "You pin people down with this body."
One corner of Eddie's lips curled when he realised what it was that was digging under Buck's skin, and just how much he could manhandle Buck which wasn't something he was used to but could play into. "I could take you."
Buck's eyebrow rose, a mirroring smirk lifting his lips. "You think so?"
Eddie clamped one hand around Buck's wrist and pushed him backwards, vaguely delighted in the yelp that slipped free when Buck hit the mattress. "Oh, I know so," he assured, clambering over Buck and pinning his hips with the bracket of his legs. "I wouldn't be very good at my job if I couldn't keep you down."
Buck hummed, eyes skipping over Eddie's torso and he tried very hard not to preen because he knew he looked good. He had to be at the top of his game to remain in SWAT. It was his distraction that he'd blame for how Buck managed to press his hips up and flip him with surprising ease on the mattress. It was Eddie's turn to yelp, flailing for a grip on Buck's shoulder as his back hit the fabric and he stared up at blue eyes shining in amusement.
"Guess you're not very good at your job then," Buck teased, and Eddie was almost tempted to call him out on the game just to end it but...they'd always been like that, hadn't they? Simultaneously cats and mice, the snake and the snake charmer. It had been part of the thrill before they'd first kissed, part of how Buck's flirtatious words had made him flare with excitement and fear at Athena's party. He was out of practise and that left him tongue-tied with the way Buck looked at him.
"Maybe- M-Maybe I let you have that one," he conceded, his heart thumping harder against his ribcage.
Buck grinned, sitting back against Eddie's thighs and pressing fingers into the grooves of his abdomen, making his stomach clench when nails scratched against him. "Or maybe you're proving my point that the LAPD rely on outdated subduing tactics which can be too easily countered."
Eddie blinked in surprise at Buck's words, temporarily distracted from his thoughts by the touching that skimmed lower to the button of his jeans before he remembered what Buck had said and tried to focus again. "You know our tactics?"
Buck shrugged, popping the button and then lowering the zip slowly enough that Eddie would swear he felt every one of the teeth release in a torturously slow drag. "Another of my jobs."
He stiffened, and not in the good way. Buck seemed to catch onto the invasion of tension in his muscles and rolled his eyes.
"Seriously, do I strike you as someone you need to put in cuffs?"
Eddie weighed his options about how to respond, lips pursing briefly as he stared at Buck. "Depends on if that's something you're into."
Buck snorted, shaking his head even as his lips lifted again into a grin. "You saw the opening and you took it. Well done." His hips shifted and Eddie inhaled sharply, fingers groping at the back of Buck's thighs up to his ass to encourage it to happen again. Buck hummed, seemingly in control of every action he did or didn't make. "Anyway, no, I'm not someone that will have an arrest warrant issued for some dastardly crime that means you have to blow open my door, Sargent."
Somewhere amidst all the teasing, Eddie had almost forgotten he'd asked a question. The coy way that Buck used his title, the way he made a joke about Eddie's job… He felt a small ripple of fear at how easily distracted he was from learning an answer that could change everything between them before it had even begun. "So you…?"
"Washed out of the SEALs," Buck murmured, leaning forward to kiss the side of his neck again, and then the hollow of his throat, and then his collarbone. "Picked up bartending again for the cash but by day, I work out of a gym as a personal trainer. After Maddie was hurt, I started teaching more self-defence classes. I've become familiar with all the typical training manuals so I've figured out ways to destroy it."
There were…a whole lot of things in that explanation that Eddie wanted to question and learn more about, but right now was wholly not the time.
Buck might've known the ways to break the manual but that didn't mean Eddie hadn't had to adapt it to suit his own purposes in the army or during a call, discarding any of the formal training because a situation demanded it. That was the very point of being in a SWAT team. That was the point of being a leader of one of the teams. That was the part that Tandy always seemed to struggle with the most, because he was adept with complex equipment but poor in responding with his body.
Eddie lifted a hand under Buck's arm, crooked his knee, twisted, and had Buck beneath him again in a matter of split-seconds. Buck looked up at him, a dazed sort of expression in his blue eyes.
"Okay, that was hot," Buck conceded, pink tongue darting out across red lips, hands tight at his waist. Eddie smiled, lowering to kiss those tempting lips, nipping at the plump flesh that had dragged across his neck, rolling their hips together now that he had the freedom to move and take what he wanted.
He revelled in how expressive Buck was, how each muffled gasp and whimper told him what Buck liked and what he really liked. He hadn't been with a man since early in his enlistment, which felt like a lifetime ago, but he'd never forgotten how it was easier to figure out what to do because in so many ways, it was like shifting against a mirror, guessing that what felt good to you would feel good to the other person. Shannon had always been different, more complicated to understand when she wasn't so open to communicating her likes and dislikes.
But Buck…
Buck was delightful in how much noise he made. There was an increasingly pronounced vein in his neck, beads of sweat across his brow that tousled his hair. His hips twitched and writhed to match Eddie's slow rhythm even as he brokenly pleaded for more.
Eddie leaned in to lick at Buck's neck, at the ridge of vein that he could feel pulsing against his tongue. "What are you asking for?" he mumbled against the skin, petting a hand through the curling blond hair and drawing eyes towards him with pupils that were so blown they were practically black.
"Anything," Buck insisted, squirming against him for more friction and Eddie couldn't deny it was exceedingly obvious that they were both incredibly hard. "I- Fuck, I- I haven't let anyone top me in so long but I- I want you to- to-"
Eddie kissed him with that fierce desperation he'd had before, a hand beneath Buck's chin tipping his head back so that he could lick into his mouth. Buck moaned like a fucking unravelled masterpiece already and Eddie wasn't sure how he was meant to survive going further.
"Please- Please-"
"Shh, querido, patience," he whispered against Buck's lips, unable to hide his smile at how dishevelled the man beneath him was. It was reassuring that even though he was filled with a lot of doubts after so long, Buck was very articulate about how much he was enjoying himself. "Where are-"
Buck flung a hand towards his bedside table, falling short by at least a foot, and Eddie couldn't conceal his snort at the frustrated huff that Buck made when his hand groped uselessly at the rumpled sheet. "That direction," he mumbled, almost growled, nose scrunching as he looked up at Eddie's amused face.
"That answers that," he said with an affectionate kiss to Buck's forehead, shifting so that he could reach and retrieve the bottle of lube and a foil square from the box in the drawer. He bit his lip when he settled back across Buck, taking in how his cheeks were as pink as the birthmark and his lips as red as the Mark on Eddie's shoulder. "It's- It's been a while for me too."
Buck met his eyes for a long moment before he nodded, skimming his hands down Eddie's cheeks, his neck, over his shoulders. It gave him a gentle rush of comforting warmth through his veins that what Buck had said in the elevator still seemed true now. "That's okay. Are we in a rush?"
Eddie's lips quirked as he glanced down at the obvious strain of Buck's jeans. "You tell me."
"Oh fuck, Eddie, don't start with me now," Buck grumbled, hands shifting from Eddie's skin to his pants before Eddie caught his fingers, pressing them above his head in a way that made his biceps strain. Eddie noticed another tattoo on the inside of his arm, one he hadn't noticed before in class, and roughly kissed that too.
"What did they say about patience?"
"Contrary to popular belief," Buck complained with clear sarcasm in his tone as Eddie loosened the button and zip of his jeans, "patience is not a virtue in situations like this."
"So you're saying you're not virtuous?" he teased and Buck grunted at him, lifting his hips to aid the removal of his jeans and briefs and releasing something almost like a sigh of relief when they were flung somewhere to the floor. The long flush of Buck's exposed cock curved towards his stomach and he seemed utterly unashamed as he stared up at Eddie. And Eddie… He hoped this wasn't going to be a one-time thing because he'd really like to remember how to place his mouth against something so sensitive, or how to take it within him until he was falling apart at the edges of his sanity.
"I'm saying that it is so much better to be naked than still trapped inside that," Buck muttered and Eddie kissed him again, using it as a direction from his nerves because it really had been a long time. He remembered the mechanics of it all, remembered what was necessary, but Buck was…different to the hook-ups on base. Not just because of the Mark staining Eddie's shoulder, but because deeper down, he actually meant something to Eddie as more than just a quick need to loosen some of the tension from his brain.
He was grateful, maybe, when Buck seemed willing to help him out. He crooked and lifted a leg, his hand finding the bottle of lube that Eddie had discarded so he could help Buck out of his pants. Eddie concentrated on his memories, and his limited confidence in his experiences with Shannon, and followed Buck's lead whenever he hissed or whimpered as he worked in one finger, and then two, and gradually three.
"I'm not- I'm not gonna break, Eddie," Buck said, eyes crinkled shut as his chest heaved with unsteady breaths.
"You said you hadn't done this in a while," he pointed out, certain he was probably moving slower than necessary but unwilling to inflict any additional pain if he could avoid it.
"No, I said I hadn't let anyone top me in a- a w-while," Buck corrected, biting his bottom lip hard enough to turn it white when Eddie tentatively wrapped a hand around his untouched cock that had softened against his belly. "O-Oh f-fuck…"
Eddie dragged his fingers out again, then twisted them in as he dragged his hand down. Buck moaned another curse, arching into his hand before sinking into his fingers. "And the difference is?"
Buck's eyes flicked open, the colour of the night sky and flecked with just as many distant galactic sparkles. "You- You do know what a dildo is, right?"
Eddie's brain shorted again and Buck laughed once before the three fingers curled within him stroked again, or when Eddie rubbed his thumb against the slit of his cock, and his amusement dissolved into a groan and a series of babbled pleas. He accepted Buck knew what he was doing, or asking for, or needed, so when Buck's fingers groped blindly for the foil square near his hip, Eddie took some sort of pity on him and collected it from where it had ended up beside his head.
He kicked off his jeans while Buck opened the packet, folding his legs around Eddie's waist and tangling fingers into his hair. It made their positioning tight for Eddie to roll on the condom and add more lube, but then he felt like he was probably prepared as much as he could. He leaned forward, kissing the swollen lips in front of him as the length of his cock rubbed between the crack of Buck's ass.
"Please," Buck whined against his mouth, thighs tightening at Eddie's waist. He shifted slightly, squeezed a hand between them to improve the angle, and then pressed into the tight breach. He pushed forward slowly, stealing the gasps and moans and curses as Buck made it clear when he could move or when he needed to slow, flames licking along his spine as sweat trickled across his forehead and shoulders.
There was a building strain in his arms to keep himself up and moving so carefully, his thighs tense as he waited for Buck to adjust. He rocked his hips in small, shallow thrusts that made his head spin as Buck trembled beneath him.
"You o-okay?" he said breathlessly, watching Buck nod as he ran a hand down his Marked chest and down to his belly. He wrapped his hand around the half-hard cock between them, steady and firm strokes that he timed with each roll forwards and back.
"M-More?" Buck panted once it was clear he'd begun to relax, once the tremors in his legs weren't from tension but from pleasure. Eddie ducked his head to press a kiss to his lips, smiling at the groan that rumbled in Buck's chest.
Eddie took that as enough of an acknowledgement that he could move, snapping his hips several times even though the sounds were wet and lewd. Buck hissed his appreciation, hands tight against Eddie's neck and shoulder, nails bringing pinpricks of pain across his skin. It helped keep him focused and at the same time helped him to stop thinking so much, stop trying to remain in control, stop worrying about everything that so often threatened to consume him as he drowned in Buck dissolving into little pieces beneath him. He followed some of Buck's lead, shifting in whatever way he thought would give him better leverage, better depth, better pace. It was clear Buck had abandoned his sanity because there weren't any protests, not when the backs of his thighs had to burn or his spine was bowed awkwardly. Just a litany of desperate noises and choked breaths that spurred him on.
Buck's hands clung to Eddie's shoulders when Eddie realised he needed to hold onto the mattress more to gain the leverage he wanted. Buck shuddered, his breath shortening, and there were more and more interrupted groans that escaped each of them as Eddie found a short, sharp rhythm which soon had Buck almost sobbing beneath him.
"Keep- fuck- k-keep g-going- I- I'm-"
Buck's head tipped back, exposing that throbbing vein again. His lungs seemed to seize around an inhale or an exhale when Eddie felt him start to disintegrate beneath him, heat splashing against his belly and Eddie's as he came untouched. The tight cinch of muscle around Eddie's cock made him grunt, determined to wait until after Buck finished unravelling, but he wasn't sure how successful he was as he came apart with a cry, lips pressing into Buck's neck as his hips jerked erratically through the waves that crashed over him, at the heat that flooded his veins, at the snapping in his belly that had him moaning every time he felt his cock give another twitch.
He wasn't sure how long he held Buck against him, unwilling to move even though he knew they were both oversensitive, even though the quivers in his muscles made him want to flop against the bed and sleep for a thousand years. He kept pressing close to kiss Buck's mouth, or his jaw, or his neck, his heartbeat remembering what a regular rhythm was long before his lungs. When Buck whimpered and gently pushed at his shoulder, he withdrew and lowered Buck's legs with a brief massage to his hamstrings. They had to hurt from being stretched painfully for too long, but it was difficult to focus on because he was so damn tired and Buck's smile was so lazily blissful.
And Buck… He was still a twitching, shivering mess amid the sheets, pale skin interspersed with pink Marks and a delightful flush. He flung a hand towards Eddie when he returned from disposing the condom, hand sliding around Eddie's neck and tongue licking into his mouth in a way that had Eddie forgetting how to breathe again. There were still smears all over Buck's stomach, and his cock was still dark and curved towards his belly, and there was such a look of satisfaction that Eddie knew he hadn't seen someone look so spectacular in a long time.
"Fuck," Buck mumbled when Eddie finally flopped onto his back because otherwise he was never going to stop kissing Buck. Eddie looked at the white ceiling above which was remarkably similar to his own and tried not to laugh somewhat hysterically. "That was- Fuck, that was really good."
Eddie smiled slightly dopily, needing a shower and then a very long sleep when he realised it had been a very long time since he'd woken up and he was past due for a solid block of rest. "Yeah?"
"Fuck yeah," Buck insisted, hand patting blindly at Eddie's arm. "I think you broke my brain. I don't usually swear this much."
He chuckled, tilting his head towards Buck and leaning over to kiss the curve of his shoulder. "Do you mind if I shower?"
"Mmm no, go ahead." Buck waved vaguely towards one of the doors on the other side of the room, his eyes restored to a crystal blue that danced over his face. "I'd join you but I think I need to remember how to walk first. There are extra towels under the sink."
He rolled his eyes, certain Buck was just stroking his ego, and climbed out of the bed for the shower. He didn't waste his time, rinsing the sweat and grime of the day away, maybe stealing a little of Buck's woodsy soap, stretching some of the kinks out of his muscles beneath the spray, before he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist.
It felt strange to just…leave the bathroom without his clothes on but this was always the awkward part for him: the after. Was he meant to get dressed and return home? That was a bit difficult when his truck was outside the bar but he could tap onto the Uber app. He should probably at least put on underwear before crawling into Buck's bed though, right? Because sleeping in Buck's bed… That seemed a perfectly reasonable place right now.
He stepped out of the bathroom, eyeing the way Buck's sheets had changed from pale blue to white, and noting his jeans had been neatly folded over the rail of Buck's loft.
"My turn for a shower, but if you put on clothes and ruin the opportunity to cuddle me naked with that jacked body of yours, I won't forgive you," Buck teased, sweeping towards him in utter naked, somewhat messy glory to kiss his cheek before he disappeared into the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and Eddie stared and blinked at the sheets as he tried to get his brain to restart.
Well then.
Eddie still felt slightly awkward about simply lying naked in someone else's bed so he left the towel around his waist and settled his head against one of Buck's pillows, promising himself he'd only close his eyes for a moment or two while he waited for Buck to shower. By the time the moment or two, or three or four, was over, when he heard the door click and felt the bed shift against him, when fingers peeled apart the towel and a body pressed against his chest, he was hovering on the edge of sleep and couldn't fathom moving. He made a small hum of acknowledgement and there was a soft breath of a laugh, followed by the weight of a blanket draping over him. His arm was repositioned, settling across the curve of a waist. He was faintly aware of the gaps and ridges and bends of his body slotting against the body in front of him, but he was too tired to think about it too deeply.
"Sleep well, Eddie," he heard whispered into the almost-darkness, and then he was out.
~TBC~