Word Count: 4,354
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with 911, Fox, or anything else related to that particular universe.

Buck was discharged two days later. Although Eddie agreed to swing by his apartment to collect clothes, and toiletries, and medications, and other extraneous items Buck insisted he needed, Eddie was equally as insistent that Buck was going to stay with him and Chris for the foreseeable future. There was no safe way for Buck to navigate upstairs to his bed and the couch simply wasn't comfortable enough to sleep on for an extended period of time.

"I've done it before," Buck protested as Eddie shooed him out of the apartment.

"Yes, but you didn't have my place to stay where I can take care of you," Eddie retorted, like he hadn't said it a hundred times already over the past couple of days.

"I really don't need to be cared for all the time."

He rolled his eyes, jabbing his finger at the B button for Basement and adjusting the strap of Buck's bag over his shoulder. "Will you stop pretending like you don't want to be spoiled for a while?"

Buck grew quiet after that. When Eddie glanced across at him, he caught the shy smile and dusting of pink across his cheeks. It seemed likely he was going to be embarrassed by all the attention Eddie intended to lavish on him.

Eddie helped Buck into the front seat, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Besides," he added, tracing Buck's cheekbone, "my house is already crutches-friendly so there's less likelihood of you tripping over and hurting yourself before Christmas again."

Buck rolled his eyes but a smaller smile twitched his lips, giving a playful push against Eddie's chest.

There was a comfortable sort of silence between them on the drive to Eddie's house, although he concentrated on sensing Buck's feelings so he didn't accidentally say the wrong thing. Everything between them had been good so far but Eddie was terrified spending so much time around each other might cause some sort of rift, or argument, or breakdown in communication. It had happened with Shannon and he really didn't want it to happen with Buck.

At a red light, he glanced across at Buck's fidgeting fingers in his lap. "Buck…?"

"I just…" Buck swallowed, releasing a sigh. "Are you sure Chris doesn't mind that I'm…taking over?"

"Ev, Chris is thrilled." Chris had been making 'Get Well Soon' cards ever since Eddie had told him Buck was injured and likely to stay with them for a while. Chris had been understandably worried, and filled with a thousand questions, but then he'd moved from worry to action. Eddie hadn't told Buck that there were a stack of cards waiting for him. He felt like that ought to be a surprise. "I'm starting to think he loves you more than me."

"He could never," Buck countered, and the smile playing on the edge of his lips helped Eddie relax with the acceptance that Buck seemed like he would start to accept the help rather than argue about someone taking care of him. "I'm just some guy that takes him climbing or flies around a room with him. Nowhere near as important as his dad."

He frowned, waiting until he hit the next red light to reach across the truck and clasp Buck's hand. "Never say you're just 'some guy' ever again." He squeezed Buck's hand, casting a look across the gap to ensure his words were heard loud and clear. "You know as well as I do that our Mark is important. That makes you far more than just 'some guy' to me, and to Chris."

Buck gazed at him, uncertainty clearly flickering in the depths of his eyes and making his hand twitch in Eddie's, like he wanted to pull it away but couldn't find the courage. "And you know as well as I do that the Marks can change, Eddie."

"Buck-"

There was a shrill beep behind them that made them both startle. Eddie was forced to drop Buck's hand to proceed through the green light before the impatient driver behind them got even more irate, but he didn't drive far down the road before he found a gap in some parked cars.

"Buck-"

Buck stared out the windscreen like the view wasn't some static, uninteresting storefront. "You know I'm right."

Eddie fought the urge to sigh or roll his eyes. He had a son. His son could get petulant. He handled his son's moods. He attempted to handle his own. He could handle whatever was eating at Buck.

"Yes, you're right. They do change. Sometimes they scar," he pointed out and was glad Buck at least managed a small wince. "But for now? For now, it's still a half Mark, Buck. For now, that means we're both invested in this. For now, that means you aren't just some guy to me. It means you're worth a whole lot to me. Got it?"

He thought Buck might've intended to continue the stoic staring for the rest of the drive home or maybe until Eddie broke a tooth because he gritted his teeth so hard. He wasn't going to leave the parking spot until something changed. He had more ammunition, more ways to remind Buck that he mattered, but he watched Buck closely and could see cracks in the armour he surrounded himself with starting to form. He could see the way he was dissolving and the anxiety around his heart left a chill around the Mark on his shoulder.

"This is still… I…" Buck huffed, dropping his head to cover it with his hands and inhaling deeply.

He flipped off the ignition when he realised this was a more serious conversation than he'd first anticipated. He shifted in the seat so he could face Buck better and was tempted to reach for his hand. He was afraid that might make Buck clamp down further, though. "What's this really about, Buck?"

"It- It's nothing. It's stupid," Buck mumbled behind his hands, fingers curling against his forehead and the knuckles were white with how hard he was pressing. Unable to stop himself, Eddie reached across the gap and clasped Buck's wrists. With some gentle tugging, he was able to lower Buck's hands and twined his fingers into the gaps.

"It's not nothing and it's not stupid if it's making you feel like this." He squeezed Buck's hands, rubbed his thumbs into the centre of Buck's palms. "I literally saved your life after you got shot. It can't be worse than that."

Buck scrunched his nose as if to protest but a faint flicker of a smile appeared on his lips and there was a small lightening of his eyes. They were the most encouraging signs Eddie had had to date. "Are you going to use that line forever?"

Eddie gave a lopsided smile. "Maybe. It's a pretty good line to get to use."

Buck grunted but Eddie noted some of the tension in his hands lessened, some of the minor twitches in his anxious fingers reduced. "I haven't… I haven't been with anyone like…like this," Buck said, eyes fixed on his lap. Eddie watched him close enough to notice when his throat bobbed with a swallow. "Abby was… It wasn't like this. She wouldn't have let me do something like move in with her if I'd been hurt, and she… She didn't have any kids but I- I think she wanted them? And I knew I wasn't ready to be a father so it put all these oppositions between us that were difficult to figure out and so it…it divided us."

Eddie tried very hard not to react, not to give away how much it terrified him that maybe somewhere along the line, somewhere in the distant or near future, Chris would somehow turn out to be a dealbreaker. He'd thought Buck and Chris had been getting on well, that they had been building a bond as strong as Eddie's with Buck, but maybe he'd been wrong.

"Buck, if you'd rather stay with Maddie-"

"I want to stay with you," Buck interrupted, his words faintly strangled with emotion. He looked to his right to stare out the window, the tremble in his hands reducing. "And it scares the shit out of me that I'll wear out my welcome, that I'll be around so much you change your mind and you'll wake up and your Mark has changed and I-" Buck's breath caught and even though Eddie wanted to challenge everything, he also felt like now that he had Buck talking, he needed to let him continue. "Eddie, I won't even know if mine changes because it's all covered in plaster for at least a month and- I- I can't- I don't- I d-don't want to mess this up."

Buck fell silent, head lowering towards his lap, and Eddie was left to swallow and try to sort through all the information Buck had thrown at him. It was clear he was riddled with insecurities and he needed to respond to them, needed to soothe Buck's fears, because he knew there were a lot of similarities in Buck's feelings.

"I'm sorry. I told you it was stupid and I-"

"Hey, no." Eddie shook his head and gripped Buck's hand tighter, wishing Buck would lift his eyes towards Eddie so he could gauge the effect of his words beyond the mere side of his face and the quiver in fingers and an uncertain pulse at his shoulder. "None of that is stupid, okay? You're allowed to be scared and you're allowed to be afraid, Buck. I am too."

He let that confession hang for a long moment, forcing himself to wait as Buck processed it. He was relieved when Buck finally looked at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

"It's not as though I'm riddled with red or black Marks, Evan. It's not like I have a wealth of experience talking about my feelings or feeling deeply for someone." Eddie paused, watching Buck's eyes dart as he listened. "I'm just as scared you'll lose interest or Chris and I will be too much, too fast. Getting shot is-" He exhaled slowly when he saw the fall in Buck's expression. Eddie knew the hospital had tried to encourage Buck to talk to a counsellor just as he knew Buck had rejected the chance. "What you went through in that bar is something you have to talk about to someone at some point, okay? We debrief at HQ after every call, but you can't shut it away and go about your day like it didn't happen. I know what happens when you do that."

Buck stared at him for a long minute before slowly nodding. The gesture may have been small but it felt like an enormous step in the right direction to processing the trauma of being held hostage and then shot.

"I'm here." He folded his fingers through the gaps in Buck's. "And I'm not going to drop you like a hot potato. If we make sure we talk to each other, if we make sure we're honest, then whatever happens will happen. We can't-" Eddie hesitated, swirling his thumb over Buck's knuckles. "We can't fear the Marks will turn black at some point and that stops us from actually enjoying what we have right now."

There was still obvious anxiety in Buck's face so Eddie tugged him closer. He lifted a hand to Buck's jaw, tilting his head to brush their lips together. He could feel the shiver in Buck's frame when he used his tongue to tease Buck's lower lip free of his teeth. Buck whimpered, a hand lifting to cradle Eddie's cheek to maintain the slow kiss. Eddie focused on pushing all his positive thoughts and feelings, all his hopes and cares and certainties and love, through the Mark and into the parts of Buck's awareness that could receive that sort of information.

"Eddie," Buck whined against his mouth and Eddie smiled at the reaction. He was determined to make Buck understand that having fears was acceptable but that they stood a chance, that Eddie was all in and wanted Buck to be nearby and safe. But he also wanted Buck to know he was needed, and needed Buck to know he was wanted.

Buck pushed into the kiss and Eddie could feel the pinpricks of heat erupting across his body. He pulled away so he didn't lose himself in the kiss more than he already had, practically sitting on his hands so that he stopped grabbing Buck. He wasn't a teenager that was about to grope Buck in his truck, which was parked to one side of a busy street. He was a SWAT Sergeant. He needed to remember to use some boundaries while he was in public.

Buck looked dazed when his eyes finally opened, a sheepish sort of smile painted across his face. "That…was a lot."

Eddie smiled in response, feeling almost smug. "Good though?"

Buck nodded, ducking his head and twisting his fingers together into his lap. "I… Uh… I think parts of my brain are still remembering how to work."

Eddie laughed, planting a quick kiss to Buck's temple before he sat in his seat and glanced out the windscreen at the occasional pedestrian on the footpath. His skin felt like it was buzzing but he also knew kissing Buck until his brain short-circuited wasn't actually ensuring they communicated about their concerns.

"I don't know what the future holds. If I did, I would've made sure Shannon and Chris weren't anywhere in the path of a tsunami. I handled our separation but her death…" He shook his head, swallowed around the lump in his throat when he lingered on the thought of the crisis at the bar, at how close he could have come to losing Buck as well. He tried to search for the sense of calm that got him through difficult calls and difficult moments, but the memories of losing Shannon and fears of losing Buck made it harder. "You're hurt and someone needs to take care of you, Buck. Why not me?"

He could feel Buck's eyes on him, the weight of his uncertainty and anxiety in the car filling the space every time Buck breathed. "I really, really don't want to impose on you. Or Chris. Maddie's place can-"

Eddie was almost tempted to say that if Buck was so determined to stay at Maddie's, then he'd drive there and be done with. But he had a feeling that was what Buck was angling for him to say and he wasn't going to give up that easily. His eyes swivelled towards Buck again. "If the only argument you have about not wanting to crash at my place is because you think you're a burden, then you're wrong. You'll never be that to me or to Chris."

A flicker of a smile tugged at the edge of Buck's lips. "Because you saved my life?"

He could feel the threat of a smile on his own face. "Something like that. I don't tend to rescue some guy and then take him home with me too often."

He'd almost say Buck looked bashful when he met Eddie's steady stare.

"So are we okay? You're good with staying with Chris and me?"

Buck dragged his bottom lip past his teeth with his tongue, then slowly nodded. "We're okay. And I'm good with staying with the two of you. We still need to bury that capsule, after all."

Eddie chuckled and reached for Buck's hand again. "Maybe when you can actually hobble into the yard."

"Oh, I can hobble. I'm the best at hobbling."

He arched an eyebrow, shifting his hand to the gearshift to put the car in Reverse and resume the drive. "Oh really?"

Buck's presence contributed to establishing new, necessary routines. It was quickly apparent Eddie needed to be up first so he could help bathe and dress Chris and get him started on breakfast. Once Chris was chomping on slightly-burned toast or slightly-soggy cereal, he returned to lift a protesting Buck out of the bed and onto his crutches so he could start showering. When Buck was safely in the shower, Eddie would return to eat a quick breakfast alongside Chris.

On the days Eddie had a shift, Carla or Abuela would collect Chris and he was less panicked if they were late because he knew he could leave Chris with Buck. It also meant that Chris could sleep in his own bed more often instead of sleepovers at Abuela's because someone would be home to greet him after school. He could tell Chris was satisfied with the new arrangements because of the brightness in his eyes and the dimple in his cheeks when he smiled, something Eddie had noticed was missing so long ago that he'd forgotten what it looked like. Yet Eddie still eyed Buck suspiciously on the mornings when he got home from a shift and struggled to rouse Chris, because Buck's attempt at an innocent smile seemed dubious, at best, when he asked if Chris had gone to bed on time.

"How's the home life?" Walker asked.

Eddie glanced up from where he had been unbuttoning his shirt to swap into his blacks. He'd been trying to maintain his neutrality at work, trying to carve out a space that wasn't infected with the oppressive knowledge that there was an undercurrent of wrongness at home, but he could feel it in his face that he was tired. He'd woken Buck from too many restless dreams-that-weren't-quite-nightmares during the night, too attuned to hearing when his breathing turned ragged in the silence of the room and the feel of his racing heartbeat beneath Eddie's palm when he hauled Buck into his arms. And if Eddie knew anything, it was that those nightmares could very easily turn into night terrors if left untreated.

"He's…managing," Eddie said cagily, glancing at the others lingering in the locker room. Tandy was buckling his belt, Anders was tying his laces, Nicholls had already left in search of his third or thirteenth cup of coffee. Because if Eddie knew anything, it was that Buck was very good at hobbling around the house and had kept his complaints to a minimum. Occasionally, he requested some pain meds or that the cushion beneath his knee be adjusted, but otherwise he stayed quiet. And so Eddie wasn't sure it seemed right to question whether Buck was as okay as he wanted to pretend with his friend. "It helps having him close."

"I'll bet," Walker agreed, tucking his shirt into his pants. "Are you bringing him this weekend?"

Eddie frowned, hands stilled against the buttons. "What's-"

Walker rolled his eyes. "Molly's turning thirteen?"

"Oh!" Somewhere in the haze of hospitals and home last week, he knew Walker had shoved a pink invitation at him as he'd hurried out of HQ to get to Buck. Clearly he hadn't engaged with it closely enough to realise it was a birthday party, or that the date was so close. "Uh… I haven't asked him."

"You didn't even know," Walked pointed out and Eddie hoped his face didn't flame as red as it felt.

"It's been a busy time, man."

It was the understatement of the century but Walker inclined his head in acknowledgment, an apologetic flicker in his eyes. It was why they'd developed and maintained such a close friendship. They didn't have to hang out all the time but things blew over in seconds because Walker knew so many of his thoughts and actions from hours and hours spent together in high-pressure situations.

"Come along. Bring Buck. Feed Chris a whole lot of sugar that makes you hate me the next day."

A laugh bubbled out of him before he could stop it and he shoved Walker in the shoulder to finish getting dressed. "Her party isn't a sleepover, by any chance?"

He arrived home a couple of hours after his shift finished, arms laden with groceries. He'd expected a buzz of noise from the television, or the low murmur of voices as Buck helped Chris with his homework. He thought maybe there'd be the smell of something cooking, or a glimpse of snacks across the kitchen counters. Instead, the house was quiet and the counters were bare. He lowered the bags to the floor and counters, then freed his phone from his pocket to check for any missed messages that Buck had gone out with Chris or his Abuela. His screen was empty though, and the last text he had from Buck was a reminder to collect milk.

With a frown, he trekked through the house in search of his two boys before he paused in the archway of the living room. Chris was sitting cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table, tongue sticking past his lips and his forehead creased with a frown of concentration. Scattered on the floor around him were a variety of markers, some without their caps, and there were several smears of colour across his cheeks and neck that Eddie couldn't hope to explain.

Settled on the couch in front of Chris, leg propped on the coffee table with a cushion beneath his heel, was Buck. His head was tipped against the back of the couch, his mouth slightly ajar as he snored quietly. On the one hand, it was good to actually see him sleeping. Too often in the past couple of weeks, Eddie had been startled awake in the middle of the night by Buck yanking the sheets as he tossed restlessly.

On the other hand…

"Bud?"

Chris' eyes lifted towards him and he held a finger to his lips to keep quiet which was absolutely something he'd learned from either Eddie or Abuela. Eddie approached the pair slowly, eyeing the now-multicoloured cast adorning Buck's leg. It was scrawled with various shapes and creatures, and maybe some outlines of characters from Chris' favourite movies. The white cast certainly hadn't looked like this before his shift and, judging from Buck's very exhausted appearance, Eddie doubted he even knew what had been happening if Chris had been quiet and gentle enough.

"He seemed so sad," Chris whispered as Eddie inched closer, crouching to gather and pair some of the discarded caps and markers. "I didn't want him to be sad about his leg anymore, Dad."

Eddie bites on his bottom lip to reduce the smile at how sweet his son is, because Buck had been so worried about Chris not accepting his presence while he recovered and in the meantime Chris had completely wrapped Buck around his finger. Eddie knew he needn't worry about Buck reacting poorly to the decorations on his cast, and he was grateful Chris wasn't yet old enough to have drawn anything inappropriate. It would have been awkward to have Buck hobbling around with dick-shapes on his leg.

Inspired, perhaps, by Chris' doodles and remembering all the times he'd gotten distracted at the art class staring at Buck, Eddie grasped a blue marker that reminded him of Buck's eyes. He scrawled a series of hearts across the cast from his ankle towards his knee then found a brown marker to add more hearts, and shaded one-half of a random selection of the blue hearts. Chris' cheeks were dimpled with a smile as he watched Eddie find the red and black markers to draw a weaving trail of lines around and between the collection of hearts. It was meant to represent his and Buck's eyes, and their Marks, and it wasn't his best work – though he wasn't sure he even had any sort of 'best' work – but he knew Buck would understand the symbolism when he saw it.

And then he realised how distracted he'd been by Chris' project that he'd abandoned the groceries. "I have ice cream!" he gasped, tossing some of the markers onto the floor and darting back to his feet with Chris' muffled giggles behind him.

By the time he'd finished sorting the groceries into the fridge, freezer, cupboards or pantry, Buck was awake and Chris had curled into his side while they watched cartoons. His fingers were smoothing through Chris' curls and for a moment Eddie was overwhelmed at how comfortable and calm he looked, how utterly at home Buck seemed to be with his son.

"Hey," he said as he stopped lingering in the archway, settling on Buck's other side and catching the still-slightly unfocused look of someone who had probably only recently woken. He pressed a kiss to Buck's cheek and there was a tired sort of smile that lifted the edges of Buck's lips.

"Hey yourself," Buck murmured, nodding his head towards Chris staring up at the two of them. "Your kid here is a better artist than you. Maybe you should ask him for lessons next time."

Of all the things Eddie might've expected him to say, that hadn't been it. He snorted a laugh and kissed Buck firmly, fingers scrunching into Buck's side as he squirmed and choked on a laugh. Chris attempted to join in and then Buck was shrieking about unfair disadvantages of four hands tickling him to death and he only had two to swat them away.

"I'll have you know, I've deciding to try abstract symbolism," Eddie said once they had all collapsed into a breathless pile, Buck twitching occasionally with echoes of phantom tickling.

"Abstract symbolism? What the-" Eddie gestured towards his array of blue and brown hearts and Buck's words caught. "Oh. I didn't… I didn't realise that was you."

Eddie looped his arm through Buck's and nuzzled a kiss to his shoulder. "Have to make sure everyone sees how I feel for you."

Buck rolled his eyes but kissed his forehead anyway. Eddie smiled, feeling somewhat dopey with all the warmth and affection that filled his stomach. "You're a sap."

He laughed again and brushed fingers against Buck's side that absolutely made him try to recoil in readiness for another attack, though really Eddie just wanted to snuggle into him and rest after his shift. "Only for you."

~TBC~