THE ALBATROSS

by Mia-Ophelie-Corbyn-Thermopolis

Rewrite of The Force Awakens. What if we start again from the beginning when Ben learns that Darth Vader is his grandfather? Will he let himself be seduced by the voices of the dark side or will he stay in the light side? And above all, who is this young girl who he hears the voice while darkness threatens to engulf him?

Hello! This is my second time editing in English. For this story I'm inspired by The Mandolarian (the music and the fact that it's a TV show). I don't know where this is gonna lead me. I have an idea, but well, I'll see if it has some success... I consider this chapter as a pilot.

Once again, English isn't my mother tongue, so please forgive the remaining mistakes, I corrected it three times, the text is so long I can't read it anymore! But if you see something really strange please tell me, I'll try to fix it.

I used a lot of informations from The Rise of Kylo Ren comic, and from other canon books, I enjoy seeking for details, even if this story is different. That's something I like to do for all of my stories and it takes a crazy amount of time!

So we're back to the beginnig of the sequels, even before you'll see. What could have been Ben's destiny if his relationship with his uncle wasn't destroyed this famous night?

Sorry, I'm very bad at summary, I'm always affraid to spoil my stories...

Note: The Battle of Yavin corresponds to the first destruction of the first Death Star, Ben Solo was born in year 5.

Have a good read!

---

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Year 29 after the Battle of Yavin. The New Republic ousted Senator Leia Organa from the Galactic Senate. A year earlier, a plot by the centrists revealed her blood ties to the sinister Darth Vader. These same centrists began to secede, quietly joining the paramilitary group growing in the shadows, the First Order.

To confront this new power that threatens the New Republic, the General Organa formed the Resistance with faithful friends of the old Rebel Alliance.

What Leia had feared so much is happening. She's sure there are dark hours ahead in the Galaxy, but a glimmer of hope still shines through the new generation of Jedi trained by her brother, Luke Skywalker...

THE ALBATROSS

Chapter 1, The Apprentice.

It was only a matter of time. Days? Years? No one had the answer to that question yet. The Republic was on a tightrope. Without really being aware of it. It was as if no one wanted to see the danger that was looming.

Some did not feel the threat lurking in the shadows and refused to face reality. But the New Republic was far from unanimous in the Galaxy, especially on the most remote and poorest planets.

What was most serious was that she no longer had any power. Leia Organa could only cling to the Resistance. Her organization was only able to develop thanks to a few unwavering supporters who had managed to convince the Senate that it was still necessary to establish a surveillance of the First Order.

This new group was advancing in the shadows. It seemed that some things were not changing. Many planets were being seduced, or intimidated, without anyone knowing about it. The former Senator knew this better than anyone.

The capital mission she had carried out before leaving the Senate had given her back some credibility, after the revelation of her kinship with the infamous Darth Vader. During her investigation, she had discovered on the watery planet Sibensko a whole military arsenal hidden from the eyes of the New Republic.

This memory of that period fortunately reminded her of something a little more joyful. While she was still in an inextricable situation, her lifesaver had appeared in the right place, at the right time, as usual. Her husband, Han Solo. Her heart swelled. Thinking of him always reassured her and gave her courage, despite their many differences and the distance.

The General Organa let her hand slide on the cold metal. A new X-wing had just been acquired by the Resistance. It was old, but it was doing its job. That was all that was asked of it.

Behind her, Leia recognized the characteristic footsteps of a protocol droid. She turned to him.

"Princess... Senator... Forgive me, I mean, General. You have a communication with the Senate," C-3PO said.

"Thank you."

The golden droid preceded her, but Leia moved quickly ahead of him. They entered one of the rooms where communications were projected. With a simple nod, the General ordered her protocol droid to trigger the hologram. A young dark-skinned woman appeared in front of her. It was Korr Sella, a very young commander of the Resistance who had been acting as a liaison between the Resistance and the New Republic for several months. Despite her young age, the young woman knew how to be convincing. She was Leia's herald, discreet and efficient.

On that day, a worried wrinkle grew between her frowning eyebrows. Leia knew that her young emissary was not going to tell her good news.

"Good afternoon, Commander."

"General Organa," she greeted her with respect.

"I can tell by that worried look on your face that you have good news for me."

The young woman had a sad grimace on her face.

"There is more and more defection in the Senate."

Leia sighed, annoyed to know that she had been cruelly right all along.

"Centrists?"

"Yes, General. But they are clever, none of them give a reason related to the First Order."

"Of course, they are. What does Chancellor Villecham say?"

Korr Sella looked down. The former senator could see the disappointment on her face.

"He is concerned about trade treaties with neutral systems. He is not concerned about the First Order, he is convinced that the former supporters of the Empire are sticking to the terms of the Galactic Concordance as the New Republic is doing."

The young woman fell silent and bit her lip. She wanted to tell her something, and she held back. But Leia didn't like to let anyone being too kind to her, at least not as long as all the subject was about politics. So, she forced her hand a little.

"Korr, I know you want to tell me something I'm not going to like, but you know very well that you have to."

The young Resistance fighter looked up and took a deep breath.

"Until the Resistance is an organization officially recognized by the government, no one will take us seriously. The Army of the Republic, the Senate, are laughing at us!"

"We cannot. We are stuck, Commander," Leia cut her off.

"By the treaty?" The young woman asked with a little stiffness.

"Yes. Let's be realistic. Concretely, we have the same status as the First Order. In your opinion, what would happen if they found out that the Resistance had such an advantage? While knowing from our information that they are much richer than they want the Senate to believe."

"They would break the pact and start the war...".

"Exactly. Believe me, despite the Army and the Resistance, the New Republic is not ready to face such a threat. They have been preparing for it in the shadows for years. We must act discreetly from within, and win as many senators as possible to our cause. They are the ones who will be able to convince the Chancellor."

"But it takes so much time, ma'am."

"I know it does. The work I am entrusting to you requires patience."

"Yes, General," the young lady admitted, bowing her head.

"Keep hope," Leia said as she saw her shoulders drop.

The young woman straightened up and raised her head.

"At least the Senate lets us conduct our investigations," she finally admitted.

"Exactly," the General approved with a wink. "And that means that someone is listening and supporting our actions. Your work pays."

Korr nodded.

"It's like the Clone Wars all over again," she sighed.

"It's hard for the living to learn from the past."

Out of the corner of her eye, Leia saw C-3PO standing in front of a monitor, leaning forward. He suddenly straightened up and met the former senator's gaze. He turned his attention back to the monitor without saying anything. Funny...

"Ma'am, I received a message from one of our contacts... Child abduction? Is it true?" the young woman asked.

"You haven't told anyone about it?"

"No, this information is a little... huge. Without proof, they might not take us seriously."

"Indeed, Commander. But I wish it wasn't true..."

The General interrupted again when C-3PO left the room without a word.

"I'm waiting for our spy to return. According to our first information, for at least more than a decade, children have been abducted from their home planets," Leia continued.

"How many children are we talking about?"

"Thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Only humans. You can imagine that this information could make the effect of a bomb. Until I have proof in front of me, don't talk about it."

"But where can they come from?"

"From remote, poor areas, easy to manipulate or intimidate."

"They want to create an army..." Korr concludes. "It's horrible..."

"I know."

There was a silence between the two women.

"I... I have a bad feeling, ma'am. It's been a while," Korr said frowning.

"So, have I. But we are going to do everything in our power to maintain the Republic and freedom. Remember, we're all counting on you. May the Force be with you, Korr."

Leia saw the young woman's eyes regain confidence.

"May the Force be with you, General."

Communication broke down. At the very beginning, Korr Sella's fierce determination had convinced the former senator to entrust her with such a mission. But seeing her hesitation after not even a year of investigation, Leia wondered if her protégée was not a little too young for such a task. Politics was a world apart, ruthless, changing.

From time to time, she found it hard to forget that being the spearhead of a rebellion at nineteen wasn't for everyone. And as the Resistance came into being, Leia tended to project herself a little too much through her young recruits. Then she got herself together thinking about her son, and stopped thinking like the young girl she had been. It was her duty as General to motivate her recruits and above all to reassure them.

Korr Sella was a normal young woman. She was bright and determined. Leia trusted her.

But the former senator could not believe that someone like the Chancellor was not more worried. Of course, thousands of systems did not depend on the New Republic, but still! How could the Senate be so unconscious?

Leia sighed, both with annoyance and feeling powerless. A noise in her back made her turn around. C-3PO was in the doorway, looking very uncomfortable. And when he was uncomfortable, it meant anything could happen.

"So 3PO? Is there anything you want to tell me?"

The droid had a tiny movement of his head. His fingers wiggled briefly.

"General, you should know that this puts me in a very uncomfortable position."

Leia was patient. She was accustomed to the various manias of her protocol droid.

"What does put you in an uncomfortable position?"

C-3PO looked behind him and then turned his attention to the General.

"A ship just landed on the base. But the pilot forbids me to reveal any information about him or his ship to you."

A stranger who refused to reveal his identity? Leia frowned.

"Did he at least give the reason for his coming?" she tried without much hope.

"He came to see you, General."

C-3PO seemed more annoyed than worried. Somebody was obviously making fun of the droid... and of her. She wondered for a moment who was the little idiot who thought he was clever enough to make that kind of questionable joke.

"It's a surprise," the indignant protocol droid ended.

Leia held back a smile. C-3PO hated it when he couldn't perform his duties.

"Is it a good surprise?" she asked, amused.

"Yes, it is."

The tone he used contradicted his statement.

"If there's no danger, then why are you putting yourself in such a state?"

The droid threw his torso back a little abruptly. For a moment the General thought he was going to fall backwards.

"That's not protocol, Princess. I have to accurately announce the identity of the people you meet, so that you can be prepared to conduct a meeting, or a negotiation, in the best possible way. Surprises prevent me from carrying out my duties and so yours."

"All right, all right. But don't forget that I've seen you step out of line many times before."

"Yes, you have. But it was necessary, Princess. Surprises are even less acceptable nowadays. In these troubled times, the Resistance does not yet know the face of the enemies of the Republic..."

C-3PO was not entirely wrong. But obviously someone was waiting to see her, and Leia had to admit that she was curious to know who this mysterious visitor was.

"You're right. We'll make sure it's the last surprise... of this kind. Now, let me see that pilot."

The droid didn't answer her. Out of habit, she imagined all the connections behind his bright eyes.

As she didn't say anything more, happy to be listened to, C-3PO slipped away. He didn't reappear right away.

While waiting for him, Leia closed her eyes. The Force was still there, even though she had chosen a different path from the Jedi. But her senses didn't give her much more clue.

Finally, she heard footsteps. The General was about to make a remark to the droid when she opened her eyes.

The sun was setting on the base. Its last rays bathed the entrance to the room in a golden, somewhat blinding light. A massive silhouette stood out in the doorway. It was not her protocol droid standing in front of her. A man was facing her. He was huge compared to her. A strange feeling went through her.

The man in front of Leia was also staring at her. The young man seemed to be waiting for a reaction from her. He was really very tall. It would have been crazy to want to provoke him. The large brown cape he was wearing reinforced this impression. His black eyes were as piercing as her own.

This frank look took her years back in time. A feeling that Leia hadn't felt in a few years took hold of her. As if she was home.

Leia stepped forward, without daring to believe it. It was indeed a surprise. A good surprise. She reached out her hand and the young man let her take his without protesting. His dark eyes were staring at her intensely. The hand in the General's was shaking a little. He was moved, at least as much as she was. And he seemed very intimidated, even though he was almost two heads taller than her.

She felt her eyes mist up.

"Ben?"

Her voice had shaken. She felt that the young man in front of her also was about to crack. His face was so expressive. The corners of his lips were trembling, and finally he smiled too, a deep wrinkle on each cheek.

"Mom?"

His voice was low and deep. She didn't hesitate any longer and pulled him against her. Ben allowed himself to do so and had to bend forward to respond to his mother's embrace. She squeezed him with all her might. Leia was so surprised that she could hardly let him go.

She had a very strong bond with her family. Luke, Han, Ben. She felt them through the Force. But the arrival of her son caught her completely off guard.

"I didn't feel you arriving," she says.

"As C-3PO must have told you, it was a surprise," Ben replied amused.

Leia wanted to laugh, but it was a sob that escaped her. Emotions overwhelmed her like a tidal wave. She closed her arms around him like tentacles. Her hands instinctively stroked her son's hair. His large, gnarled body trembled against her. Ben was crying too.

All the Force, all the letters couldn't replace the strength of a hug. Her little boy was gone when he was ten years old. They may have seen each other a few times, but Leia suddenly realized she hadn't seen her son grow up.

The roundness of his face had almost disappeared, and in her arms she was holding a twenty-four year old young man.

"I missed you so much," she whispered almost crying.

"I've missed you too."

Leia gently pushed him away, but didn't let go. She closed her hand on the sleeve of his cape.

"Whose idea was this? Luke or you?"

"I wanted to ask him to come and see you, but he forestalled my demand, he finally suggested it."

Leia nodded. Ben's smile was starting to fade.

"How are you?" she asked, worried as his face's expression darkened.

"I'd like to talk about it later. For now, I just want to be with you."

"Of course, you do."

The General held out her other hand, towards his face this time. She put a hand on his cheek and with her thumb she drew the line of his cheekbone, chasing the tears from his face. Then she slipped it back into his thick, dark hair. A very maternal feeling filled her. She was proud. Leia stepped aside for a moment to study him from head to toe.

"You look like a Jedi," she said, advising the beige outfit he was wearing under his cape.

"I'm not one yet," he whispered, looking down at his boots.

Perceiving his unease, Leia cleared her throat and changed her tone.

"What has Luke done with my curious and boisterous little boy?"

Ben frowned, speechless.

"I didn't expect my son to grow up to be so wise, tall and... strong," she said, amused to see his face blush, uncomfortable. " Anyway, what's certain is that you didn't get that stature from me!"

The young man had turned his eyes away, but he turned his attention back to his mother when she added :

"On the other hand, those eyes are mine."

The young man smiled. A mischievous gleam began to shine in Leia's eyes.

"And believe me, you can have anything you want, if you know how to use it," she added with a raised eyebrow. "The hair must be mine, too. On my side of the family, it's always been beautiful... although your father isn't outdone either."

Ben's face went through a few shades of red. Leia decided to end his torment and fell silent. She remembered very well the little boy he had been. His curiosity had often outweighed his shyness, especially when his father would take him and Chewbacca to go to do some dangerous and stupid and very Han things.

But as he grew older, the stronger the Force grew in him. Such raw power in a child's body quickly became very difficult to manage, despite Leia's experience. His father, a little too down-to-earth on this particular issue, had not been much help.

Leia gripped her son's hand in a reassuring way.

"I'm so happy you're here, Ben."

"I am more than you are."

…

Leia finished tying her hair in a crown around her head. Grey strands were beginning to lighten her hair. The former senator sighed, defeated. She fixed the last pin while defying her own reflection in the mirror.

Despite the tense atmosphere that reigned on the base of D'qar, for once in a long time, she was happy, almost feverish. The General came out of the room she was occupying.

It was still early, the sun was just rising but the base was already teeming with life, although less than in the middle of the day.

She allowed herself to be guided by the Force, which vibrated softly, to find her son. Leia smiled when she realized she was moving away from the turmoil.

Her footsteps guided her to the heights of the base. The base had been dug into the earth and rock at the time of the Alliance. Except for the tarmac, the base was completely invisible. Her feet stepped on the grass above a shed. The low vegetation around her was swept away by a pleasant breeze.

Leia stopped. The young man was sitting down crossed legs, his eyes closed, his hands resting quietly on his knees. In fact, she had made a mistake. There was still something childish on his face. Perhaps it was because of that sulky pout that never seemed to leave his lips...

Not wishing to disturb his meditation, she did not move. A few stones, more or less small, flew lazily around Ben.

To think that it was only a small demonstration of his power. She could feel it. He was much more powerful than before. And he was holding his power with a lot of control.

"You can come," he said in a calm voice, without opening his eyes.

Leia approached, trying to avoid the rocks. She didn't have to make much effort as they magically moved out of her way. The General sat down beside him. Her son opened his eyes without losing control.

"You look surprised."

Leia nodded her head as she searched for his gaze.

"Yes, I am. I feel the Force in you... It is even more powerful than before."

Ben looked her in the eyes. His mother couldn't read the expression on his face.

"It's not easy... to control," he said. "But I'm working hard at it. The others at the Temple didn't know at first... but now they understand."

"Did you argue with your classmates?"

"At first, yes... I... I got angry easily. It's always hard to control, but I don't want to disappoint Luke. I work harder than everyone else."

"I believe you," his mother reassured him with a smile.

She chased away a rebellious black streak that fell before Ben's golden-brown eyes. The day before, they had begun to get to know each other again. Shyly, the Jedi apprentice had begun to talk about his training. Leia knew that he was minimizing his talent, because his brother had always been very happy and proud of his nephew in the messages they exchanged.

Then he went on to mention his friends, the first padawans that Luke had started to train after Ben. Tai, Voe and Hennix. The first one, Tai, seemed to be the closest to the young Solo, the most daring and patient, trying to get Ben out of his shell. Hennix was a Quarren from Mon Calamari who approached the Force with humor and lightness, sometimes everything seemed easy for him. The ambitious Voe kept confronting Ben, obsessed with the idea of becoming stronger than he was.

That morning, Leia was suddenly surprised to see his eyes shine with excitement when he told her about traveling with his uncle in search of Jedi artifacts. The young man was obviously passionate about their history. Luke had some old manuscripts that his nephew enjoyed studying and restoring if he could.

"He is a good teacher. He is patient with everyone. Especially with me. But I think he trusts me because he lets me run the temple when he's away," Ben said, with great humility.

His mother opened her eyes wide, truly astonished. It must have been recent because Luke had never told her anything about it.

Leia couldn't contain her excitement and maternal pride. It was a little hard to forget that she didn't have a little boy in front of her anymore. The former princess leaned forward and with a smile that worried her son, she took his face in her hands and kissed him several times on the cheek.

The young man grumbled protests, but that did not stop her. She could no longer hold herself back. Leia wanted to touch him, all the time, fearing to realize that it was only a dream. The stones floating around them fell in a crash that forced her to free him.

A laugh threatened to cross her lips when she saw his wrinkled eyes. Ben's bust was slightly backwards, his face expressed great perplexity.

Leia wondered with a hint of bitterness if he remembered all the time he had spent in her arms, and all the times he had asked for them and his father's.

Perhaps she had to make up her mind. Ben was a man, almost a stranger. No, that wouldn't stop her from catching up on the lost years. And she had to recognize that making him uncomfortable was irresistible. His face couldn't hide his emotions. It was fascinating to see the muscles giving life to this imperfect face. Because he was, imperfect.

She knew that beneath his beautiful mane of black hair, he was hiding his protruding ears. His face was a strange fusion of hers and Han's. But like her husband, he exuded a strange, fascinating charm reinforced by his eyes that looked so much like hers. Their shape was stretched out like an almond. His dark gaze with discreet golden reflections was confusing, he seemed to want to see deep inside people.

Even as a child, he sometimes observed the world around him in this way. Now an adult, his gaze seemed to be scrutinizing all the time. No doubt this must have made many of his classmates uncomfortable.

Leia had taken the time to study him the day before as they took a quick tour of the base. After the emotion of the reunion, she had noticed a certain distance from him that others might have seen as coldness. He was standing upright, his head held high, almost haughty. It must have been a mask, a facade behind which to take refuge.

She could easily imagine the little padawans obeying him. Physically, he was impressive. He must have been a few inches taller than Han and his shoulders were broader. Yet her rascal of a husband was far from slender.

But if Luke let him take care of the children, it was because Ben must have kept that part of his personality that had always touched her. She remembered that despite his mood swings, when things were going well, he was kind and very sensitive.

As a child, Ben knew when someone wasn't feeling well, and with the innocence that characterized him then, he wanted to know what was wrong. His mother was often his favourite subject.

But something was bothering her. All this humility, this reserve... why?

"My darling, are you proud of yourself?"

Leia saw her son's eyes crinkle again. His jaw tightened, his mouth pinched.

When he raised his head and rolled his eyes, the General realized that what she might have thought was annoyance was not. He closed his eyes. His Adam's apple seemed to move up and down painfully as he swallowed.

"I'm proud of you, Ben. Luke and your dad are proud too," she whispered as she took his hand.

"Jedi should not be arrogant," he eluded in a slightly choked voice.

Leia had forgotten how good he was at evading sensitive subjects.

"Well, I know very well you understand what I meant. Having self-esteem and being arrogant are two different things," she said a little more firmly.

The look in Ben's eyes surprised her. Not in a good way. It made her want to back off. So she rephrased her question.

"Do you believe in yourself?"

Ben laughed bitterly, very bitterly.

"How could I?" he replied, looking down on her.

Leia suddenly felt like she was facing a stranger. The distance had returned. It brought back bad memories. The anxiety attacks at night, the objects flying around him, and that look, so disconcerting in a child... Her son was accusing her, she knew it.

"Yes, how could I, when I have been fighting all my life against what is inside me? How could I after I learned this... this thing about my past, my family, when I had finally gained some self-confidence?"

Leia had to make a big effort not to look down. It was easier to face the Senate than her son's resentment and rhetoric.

"Ben...," she began.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked, dryly.

"I... I..."

"Why!"

Unable to bear it any more, the General stood up but remained firmly planted in front of the young man.

"I'm sorry Ben!"

Her cry surprised them both.

"I'm so sorry! I will repeat it to you over and over again if that's what you need. That's the truth. It's all my fault."

Muscles twitched on her son's face.

Suddenly, Ben's tense shoulders dropped when he saw his mother's bright eyes. The trembling of her voice didn't escape him either. The guilt gripped him by the throat.

He was ashamed to make her cry and it hurt, but at the same time it felt good to tell her what he was feeling. This contradiction didn't really help him to clear his mind.

The young man curled up on himself. He brought his knees up against his chest and nervously wrapped his arms around them.

His mother sighed as he retreated. She suspected the storm that was raging beneath his skull, but she could hardly admit that his confidence was so fragile. Leia knelt down in front of Ben, looking for his eyes.

"I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to shatter your dreams and I preferred that you only have a positive view of your grandfather... I didn't want to hurt you... and I didn't want you to hurt yourself..."

There was a long silence between them while she made the ball in her throat disappear.

"Anakin Skywalker was a great Jedi, I didn't lie to you about that. It was your uncle who told me his story..."

"I already know the story of Darth Vader," he grumbled without daring to look at her.

Leia grabbed his chin between her fingers and gently forced him to look up.

"I want to tell you how I felt, Ben."

The young man found it difficult to hold his mother's gaze. He could see very well how she took it upon herself to deal with her own memories.

"He was a great Jedi. But I only knew Vader, the Sith. When we first... met... the Rebellion had just received the plans for the Death Star... so he stormed my ship, killed everyone on his way, the rest of the story, you know it. But when he captured me, he tortured me. When he realized that it didn't work with me, he forced me to watch Tarkin order the destruction of Alderaan... I was so scared... When I saw my world shattered, I wanted to turn around, but he forced me to watch until the end... I don't think you'll ever guess how much I hated him... him and everyone else of course. When Luke told me that Vader was his father, I was scared, again, but the feeling passed... I knew Luke, he was so different, so bright. Then he made me understand that he had a sister... that I was his sister."

Leia stopped for a second. Her son looked at her, his eyebrows frowning with concentration.

"It terrified me... because it implied that this man, this heartless machine that I hated, was my father. I couldn't accept that. Even though Luke was able to bring him back on the right side. For a long time, it was hard for me to get used to it. By mutual agreement, Han, Luke and I decided that no one should know. When you were born, I imagined that as I got older, I would become wiser and have the courage to share that with you in time. But as you grew older, so did your power, and I could see how it was upsetting you. I didn't want you to torment yourself even more... Do you understand?"

Ben nodded his head as he wiped away a treacherous tear.

"Yes, that's what Luke explained to me."

"I wanted to protect you."

"I understand that."

The young man relaxed. He gave his mother shy glances. The harshness had left his golden-brown eyes. Ben took the hand that held his chin in his.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry too."

A tender smile stretched Leia's lips. He looked like a little boy. This change in attitude was confusing, but she decided she didn't care. She had only just found him. Leia opened her arms and pulled him against her. The young man let her do.

"Ben?" she murmured. "Never forget that. I believe in you. And I love you. I will always love you."

...

Later that day, Ben met some people on base.

His argument with his mother had gotten him thinking. They had just met again and he had found nothing better to do than to confront her. But... after all, it had been a year. A year to recover from this revelation. The padawan hadn't been able to contain himself any longer. As a result, guilt had eaten away at him and silenced him. Ben had decided to do everything he could to please her and make amends. So, he followed her through the halls without complaining.

The young man really felt uncomfortable. Meeting new people was still so difficult. Yet, he was offered big smiles. Admiral Akbar managed to bring him out of his fog and almost made him laugh, trying to share memories. Unfortunately for the Mon Calamari, Ben only had a vague memory of him.

He was uncomfortable with all the glances he was receiving. The young man had an increased awareness of the eyes on his back. Everyone knew that he was the son of General Organa. And Luke Skywalker's apprentice. They all seemed to expect a lot from him already.

But one feeling couldn't go away. Shame. Shame for making Leia cry. She didn't deserve it. And jealousy, this traitor came to mingle. Ben was jealous of how blooming his mother seemed. It was her home. She cared for everyone she met.

Lucky for him, Luke wasn't there. Jealousy had no place in the life of a Jedi.

In the middle of the tarmac, and the hustle and bustle, the Jedi apprentice was trying to chase away his bad thoughts when something very hard collided with his legs. With a painful growl, he lowered his eyes. Leia stopped and turned around with a surprised look on her face.

A large orange and white metal ball had just hit him. The young man and the droid gauged each other for a few seconds. The astromech started chirping energetically.

Ben raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth.

"Ben, this is BB-8," Leia intervened. "It has just been put into service, it's brand new. It's still a bit clumsy... but it already has a strong personnality..."

Ben saw his mother watching the droid. Even the metal ball got that tender look that he would only have wanted for himself. The young man walked around the astromech, whose half-spherical head pivoted to follow him with his eye.

"General!"

Ben and Leia turned around suddenly. A man in his thirties was walking towards them with an energetic step, so confidently that the Jedi apprentice raised his eyes to the sky, annoyed.

He stopped in front of them with his hands on his hips.

"Hello, Poe Dameron, pilot," he introduced himself as he stared at Ben.

"Ben Solo," the young man simply replied.

"Oh... Ben Solo as in..."

"Yes," intervened Leia with a look that told the pilot not to insist.

If Ben's intense gaze bothered him, Poe didn't let it show. He turned to Leia.

"General, I'm sorry to disturb you. I've been assigned a new astromech, but it's impossible to find it, this clever little fellow has run away..."

Poe's eyes landed behind Leia's shoulder. They all turned to BB-8, who was watching with curiosity everyone around him.

"It must be him, Captain," the General sighed. "He has just arrived."

"Oh... is someone trying to make fun of me?"

Poe tilted his head to the side, pouting. BB-8 imitated him. Finally, he went to kneel in front of the astromech, which moved backwards with a panicked trill.

"I feel that you're not going to make my life easy, but I promise you that we're going to become the best friends in the world!" the pilot assured, scraping him gently as if he was a pet.

Which the droid seemed to enjoy. Ben's eyebrows frowned and his mouth twisted in disgust. Leia grabbed his arm with a small laugh. Her son and the droids were quite a story.

They were walking quietly through the base to the underground, when Leia slowed down, frowning, one hand on her heart.

The young man was about to ask her if everything was all right, when suddenly, he felt it to.

The fear.

His mother's voice sounded far away. Her hand on his arm felt like an electric shock. He moved sharply away and turned away from her. The young man barely realized when he activated his lightsaber. The familiar vibration of the weapon against his palm was reassuring.

"Ben? Ben? Answer me! Ben!"

Suddenly, as quickly as it had come, the feeling disappeared. Ben came back to himself, short of breath.

When he looked up, he noticed that everyone on the tarmac had stopped. All eyes were focused on him. Admiration, confusion and fear mingled in their facial expressions.

He briefly recognized the pilot, Poe Dameron. Hands on his hips, the man's eyes moved back and forth between Ben and Leia. One of his eyebrows was raised, the other furrowed, as if he could not decide how to react.

All eyes were on him. Ben. The blue glow of his lightsaber reminded him that he still had his weapon activated. The young man put the sword away as calmly as possible on his belt.

A silhouette passed in front of him. Ben looked at his mother. Her eyes seemed to be full of questions. Yet she just whispered.

"Ben?"

The young man took one last look around, and then he returned to his mother. He shook his head from left to right, his breath still shaking. With one look, they understood each other. Leia nodded her head and guided him to follow her. They were almost alone in the room where he had appeared the day before.

The young man leaned his hands against a console and then bent his head and chest forward with a long sigh.

"Ben?"

The Jedi apprentice finally turned to his mother. Her face expressed anxiety. More importantly, she wanted to know what had just happened.

It was only when their eyes met that Leia put a hand on his arm. She hadn't dared to touch him a second time, without seeing his eyes, for fear of an uncontrolled reaction from her son. The former senator knew how much feeling this way could disturb the senses.

Ben thought the same thing. Fortunately, his mother had not tried to touch him again at that time.

"What did you feel?" she asked in a calm voice.

"Several things... first, nervousness... then guilt... and fear..."

Leia frowned. She had felt fear, too, but not as strongly. Against all odds, the former senator had difficulty pronouncing the name she had been thinking of.

"Luke?"

Ben just nodded and stood up.

Before he had time to say anything else, a young resistance fighter rushed towards them.

"General! General!"

Leia turned sharply towards him. The young man turned pale as he stopped in front of the General. The many wrinkles of anxiety on her forehead, between her eyebrows and the intensity of her black eyes had something to do with it.

"Yes?" she asked in a slightly dry tone.

"Your... Your personal code... A distress signal...," the boy stammered.

"Who?

"Luke Skywalker."

Ben's blood froze in his veins before suddenly pulsating painfully. A bad feeling overtook him, oppressive.

The young man stepped back and turned toward the exit. It was as if an alarm was ringing in his head. Suddenly, he propelled himself into the hallway at full speed. His long legs quickly covered the meters separating him from his ship. Once again, he drew the attention of the resistance fighters as he ran like the wind.

Ben slowed down only to climb into his ship. He sat down in his pilot's chair and started the engine. It wasn't going fast enough. He recorded the coordinates of the temple he knew by heart. It wasn't going fast enough either.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps echoing through the ship.

"Ben!"

The young man didn't get up when he recognized his mother's voice. He was finishing the final adjustments when she stood firmly beside him.

"Don't rush headlong, Ben."

"I'm not rushing headlong."

"Yes, you are... I can feel your concern as if it was my own."

"He needs me."

"I know. Just give me a few minutes while I find someone to go with you..."

"I don't have the time."

"Ben...," she begged.

"I can feel it! And if Luke is in danger, then no resistance fighter will be able to help me!"

"Because you alone can? You're strong, I have no doubt, but if the threat is so great..."

"Who could help me?"

"Ben..."

"If Luke is in danger then who can save him? Because that means the threat he faces is far greater than we are!"

"I just don't want you to go alone. Not in the state you're in, that's not reaso..."

"Do you have a lightsaber?" Ben interrupted her abruptly, looking at her in the eyes.

Speechless Leia closed her mouth and stepped back.

"You know very well that I don't," she finally answered.

Ben's eyes wrinkled. Then he tried to look as calm as possible.

"If you had one, I would have asked you to help me."

She felt like something went down the wrong way, as if she swallowed broken glass.

"I'm not a Jedi, Ben."

"I know you're not."

"I hate it when you do that, Ben."

"I know, Mom. Like you said, I took a lot from my dad, but I think I took a lot from you too."

Leia refrained from slapping him behind the ears. She was too anxious for that.

"Rhetoric and sarcasm are not necessarily the solutions in a discussion, Ben."

"That's exactly what I was referring to," he replied without looking at her, his fingers moving from one button to another.

A "beep" sounded in the cockpit. The young man stared at the warning light. He turned to his mother and studied her face.

Leia saw the barely perceptible tremor in his jaw. Instinctively, she put a hand on his cheek. He tried not to show her his fear.

"Ben, be careful."

The young man nodded quickly. His mother found it hard to let him go. She straightened up, her hand still on his cheek. Then Leia kissed his hair and whispered:

"May the Force be with you."

A split second later, fresh air replaced the warmth of her hand. The sound of her hurried steps shook Ben. The young man took a few seconds to regain his composure before flying away.

The temple needed him.

...

When Ben's ship came out of hyperspace, the young man had calmed down enough.

He prepared for landing while observing the small village that was growing in size as he approached. Everything seemed calm.

Ben preferred not to trust this impression.

Sword in hand, but not yet activated, he stepped out of the ship. The night had barely fallen on the temple. There was hardly a sound except for the wind blowing through the grass and between the stone huts.

The lights were on, but there was no one outside. It was truly strange, the padawans liked to enjoy the free time they had between supper and lights out.

With a cautious and silent step, Ben advanced between the stone huts. He had great difficulty perceiving Luke's presence. There was something else that the young man could not identify.

His instincts guided him to his own hut. He suddenly froze in front of the pile of stone and wood. Because it was all that was left of it.

A trembling breath escaped from his mouth as his heart began to pound painfully in his chest.

The young man was about to rush to clear the stones, a scream stuck in his throat, when a voice made him turn around.

"Ben!"

Voe. Tai was with her. Ben raised a finger in front of his mouth with a frown.

His two friends exchanged a brief glance before quickly joining him. Voe put both hands over her mouth to sound her cry of surprise at the state of the hut. Tai just watched Ben.

The young woman suddenly turned towards him.

"Where is Master Luke?" she scolded.

"I don't know," the young man replied without fleeing from her accusing gaze.

"Yet your hut is again just a pile of debris," she hissed aggressively, not hesitating to approach him.

"It was not me," he said in a dull voice, detaching every word.

Tai separated them with one hand on each of their shoulder.

"Stop it, Voe. You were with your mother, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. Where were you both?"

"A mission for Luke. Only Hennix stayed. When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago, a little before you did. I received..."

"You received a distress signal," his friend continued. "So, did we."

Ben turned around, his gaze traveling between the debris of the hut and the temple.

"Where is Master Luke then?" Voe asked, her fingers nervously pulling at the beads in her white braids.

"And where are all the others? It wasn't Hennix who sent the signal," Tai intervened. "Ben?"

The young man turned to his friends. Voe's attitude had really annoyed him. Fortunately, Tai was there to stand between them. If the young woman and Ben managed to get along, their friendship was still fragile, especially when Voe was dominated by her competitive spirit. Of a nervous nature, the young padawan was an aggressive ball of nerves almost all the time.

Just the opposite of Tai, so calm and observant. He wasn't afraid to go to Ben, who got bogged down in his inner struggles. With his curious blue eyes, his already bald head, and his perpetual calm, Ben often thought that Tai would make a much better Jedi than him.

But every time a decision had to be made, it was always to him, Ben Solo, that his friends turned to, as in this very moment. The young man took the time to ponder. The situation was really strange. His mother's voice echoed in his mind.

"Don't rush headlong, Ben," she had told him.

He couldn't help but raise his eyebrows and a puffing sound escaped him.

"I have a bad feeling about this," he mumbled to himself.

"What?"

"I think it's a trap," he said louder to his friends.

"How could it be a trap?" Voe asked, hands on hips. "The distress call came from Master Luke."

"I know, and we haven't heard from Hennix either. I'm having a hard time feeling my uncle's presence, my hut is destroyed..."

"Do you think someone sent a message in Master Skywalker's place?" Tai asked with his arms folded.

"That's impossible! No one else knows our location, except his father and his mother!" Voe intervened. "It must be someone here."

Ben and Tai exchanged a shocked look.

"No," they answered at the same time.

"Then who is it?"

That was the problem.

"We're going to separate," Ben decided. "Voe, Tai, try to find Hennix and go check if my uncle's X-wing is still there. I'm going to stay here, I feel something, but I need to concentrate to find out what it is..."

"It's not a good idea," the young woman replied.

"But we have no choice, there are only three of us."

Voe finally nodded.

"Be careful," Ben asked them.

"You too," Tai reminded him, looking at Ben in the eyes.

The young woman moved back, her gaze sending the same message. Then she turned around. Her silent strides took her away from the center of the village. Tai hugged him on the shoulder and ran to rejoin their friend.

Ben remained alone in front of his devastated hut. It had already been destroyed once, by his own fault. Seeing it in ruins again was even more painful because he had rebuilt it alone. Seeing his efforts reduced to nothing was upsetting to him, because it was a reflection of what he felt all the time.

A perpetual disappointment. Not towards others. No, it was darker than that. Towards himself.

The young man forced himself to focus again on what was going on. His senses still couldn't detect Luke's presence. It was very frustrating.

Slowly he approached the temple. But before he could lay his hand on the door, a strange feeling came over him. Familiar. It was as if the world around him shut up.

Just behind him, a sound of breathing echoed, completely filling his ears and his mind. And this voice, deep, the one he wanted to hear, but at the same time that frightened him, thundered...

"Ben!"

The young man turned on himself. He was alone. A tremor ran through him from head to toe. He still wanted to hear the voices... NO! He shouldn't listen to them.

"Ben? My boy, what's happening to you?"

The apprentice again faced the temple.

"I... Snoke..."

"I can feel how confused you are. I can help you. You know I'm here for you..."

Ben's hand trembled around the lightsaber. He squeezed it with all his might.

"I know you've been dreaming about this moment. The moment when you'd be free... free to choose for yourself, without Skywalker to stop you from expressing yourself fully. You could even choose to be free from your parents, so absent but yet so full of expectations..."

Snoke's voice made him dizzy. It sounded like the voice of a fawn, deep, very deep. For once, the young man didn't want to listen to him. His relationship with his uncle had been difficult ever since... the incident, but Luke had forgiven him. Seeing his mother again had brought back vivid memories and filled him with hope. Hope to see his father again.

"Come on, Ben. You know they'll always want to control you... You'll enjoy being around them, it'll be good to be with your family. For a while. You know you won't stand being restrained."

Snoke was right. He had always seen who Ben was deep down inside. He understood him. In front of the temple, the young man was trying to analyze what Snoke was telling him. When he communicated with him, through that special bond that even his uncle was unaware of, Snoke was patient, attentive. That evening, the Padawan detected an impatience that bothered him.

Ben frowned. His confidant had chosen the best time to manifest himself... while the young man was in total confusion.

"Join me, and you can become who you're meant to be. I will guide you."

"I cannot leave my uncle and the temple at their fate. Not now when there is danger lurking."

"Your uncle is nowhere to be found. This is the best time, my boy!"Snoke exclaimed in his skull with increasing exasperation.

"Luke Skywalker isn't dead," the young man insisted.

Ben expected a scathing reply, far from the usual calm of his confidant. It was much worse. With a controlled, almost infantilizing voice, Snoke continued.

"Don't try to make me believe that just seeing your mother again changed everything. I know you, boy. Don't try to hide from me. Don't forget I know all your secrets... all the darkness that haunts you."

Ben looked down on his free hand. He had an irresistible desire to reach out his arm in front of him and...

"Yes, I know you wanted it that night. I saw in your dreams what you wanted to do. Do it this time, and a new life will be yours! Stop resisting! You're hurting yourself so much. Stop being this tormented child and do something about it!"

With tears at the edge of his eyes, the young man saw his own hand rise up in front of him to touch the stone. His fingers grazed the cold rock. Ben calmed down. The padawans were there, safe and secure. Without realizing it, he had held his breath. He exhaled a sigh.

But Snoke was still there.

"You may be great and powerful in the Force, but you're just a child. I'm going to help you. You're going to suffer, and this will be your first step on the dark path..."

Ben's heart began to accelerate sharply as the bubble that seemed to envelop him far from reality burst. His hand was still on the temple stone.

A split second later, a bolt of lightning zapped the black sky and the world exploded.

The padawan was thrown backwards by the blast of the explosion. His body hit the ground painfully. Stone debris fell on him. One of them hit his head. Half stunned, he had difficulty standing up.

In front of his eyes, there was nothing but flames. Ben shivered with fear. The temple. The padawans. There was nothing left. As if to prove him right, a wooden beam groaned and fell into a terrible crack.

The young man leapt to his feet and rushed towards the flames. But a second blast of air pushed him back. Ben struggled to get up on all fours, breathing rapidly and with difficulty. His vision blurred, the flames becoming a huge bright spot in front of his eyes. His throat became so tightly knotted that it was painful. He stood on his knees and in turn, he exploded.

"NO!"

His scream didn't ease his brutal grief. He wouldn't accept what was happening in front of his eyes. It was impossible. Not them. Not the children. Not his family. The water overflowed from his eyes and ran down his cheeks without any control.

Ben wanted to curl up and disappear. He fell back to his knees. The young man let his head fall forward, defeated.

"I never wanted that," he murmured, pressing his clenched hands over his eyes.

Rushing footsteps brought him out of this darkness. Ben stood up recognizing his friend. Voe ran towards him as if hell was on her heels. When she stopped in front of him, the soles of her shoes slipped on the grass. He reached out his hand to grab her elbow and stop her mad rush.

The first thing that shocked him was the expression on her face. She had never looked so vulnerable.

"Ben, Hennix is dead..."

"And Tai? Voe, your arm? What's that wound?"

The young woman's face twisted into a painful grimace. Her lips were trembling. Voe was about to burst into tears. This added to Ben's state of confusion.

"We had just spotted Master Luke's ship... We saw Hennix... He... he was already dead when we got there. A lightsaber... it was a lightsaber that killed him. Then Tai felt something, and we saw a black ship. A silhouette appeared, all wrapped in black. I don't know who it was, but it had Hennix's saber... I wanted to fight it... but Tai pushed me away. They fought..."

The young man knew what Voe meant, her face spoke for her. The apprentice suddenly turned her head to her right. Even in the dark, Ben saw the shock deform her features.

"Ben... The temple! What happened?"

His friend didn't take the time to answer her. He pulled her elbow, which he was still grasping, and pushed her behind him.

A man even larger and broader in shoulder than Ben was watching them with feigned nonchalance. His arms were folded over his bare torso, covered with patches of brown and pink scars from old burns. A cape was draped over his shoulders. The scars went up into his neck, but no higher. His blue eyes were piercing but they seemed indifferent, an exact reflection of his posture. Nonchalant. Black eyebrows were raised above them. His sun-tanned face was framed by greyish hair. Impossible to guess his age.

There was one thing for sure. This man radiated power and danger despite his quiet appearance.

It was for this very reason that Ben had pushed Voe behind him. The young woman had an exclamation of surprise. Once she had regained her balance, the apprentice faced the young man's back. She put her hand on his arm and stared at the stranger over his shoulder.

"Ben, who is he?"

The young man turned his head slightly towards her, frowning.

"Isn't he the one who attacked you?"

"No, he was smaller, my height, all in black. Ben? Do you know him?"

The Jedi apprentice was about to respond when the colossus moved a few steps towards them. The play of light and shadow created by the orange flames made his face even more enigmatic and threatening.

"Hi, kid!" he exclaimed. "In fact, you are not that small any more... You know what, that makes you much more interesting than the time when you hid behind the skirts of your Master. Do you remember? The temple of Elphrona? Yeah, I think you do remember me."

"His name's Ren, a mercenary," Ben whispered to Voe.

The young woman closed her grip on his upper arm.

"That's quite a fire I see there. I feel like the shadow in you has grown along with everything else," he mocked, pointing to what was left of the temple and then to the Jedi apprentice. "That's good work. I realized how right I was when I was told that you were Vader's grandson... I thought you were going to run to find me. But then, after all, you're only half Vader, no wait... a quarter. Anyway, someone else found me. Very interesting... Much more interesting than you."

This last sentence was pronounced in a harsh tone. It was provocation. And Ben was more than receptive to it. His body tightened as anger built up inside him like fire. Only Voe's hand prevented him from doing anything stupid. Because it was just the two of them then.

"Hmm, yes, it's a beautiful fire anyway," Ren said thoughtfully. "Maybe your case isn't so hopeless. I imagine it was you, who caused it."

Voe seemed to ask herself the same question, as she shook his arm.

"Ben? What is he saying?"

"It was not me!" Ben exclaimed.

It was impossible to tell if he was talking to Voe or Ren, or if he was trying to convince himself of what he said.

"All right! All right! It wasn't you!" Ren answered, raising his hands in front of him.

He rose to his full height, his nonchalance disappeared.

"It's a real shame," he said in a voice that contradicted his words.

The mercenary stretched out his hand to Ben. The young man prepared to repel the attack. But it wasn't him that Ren was aiming at. He turned sharply to see his friend, whose back was bent back in a very uncomfortable position.

Ben's blood rushed through his veins.

"Leave her alone," he growled in a dull voice, activating his lightsaber.

The blue beam buzzed. A grin passed over the mercenary's lips. With a sigh, he released the pressure around Voe's throat. The young woman fell to the ground, breathing short and anarchic. Ben did not turn to his friend. To take his eyes off Ren would be madness.

The man with the scars prepared himself for a fight. The glow of the scarlet beam of his lightsaber merged with the light of the flames dancing on his face. His blue eyes showed no mercy.

"You've wanted it, Jedi," he threatened.

He struck with a powerful blow. Ben blocked his attack and repelled him. Within seconds, the young man realized that a fight against Ren would not be won by brute strength. The mercenary was well versed in fight, physically strong and surely as tough. The young man tried to remember the fight between him and Luke on Elphrona as best he could.

Being his teacher, his uncle was nothing but agility and precision. A quiet strength. Ben was strong and tough, but he wasn't sure he would win such a game against such an opponent. He was going to have to be fine and precise to wear him down as quickly as possible. And a little deceitful if that proved necessary.

Ren attacked again. They sparred a few times. Ben avoided a sharp blow that should have cut him in half as he retreated. The young man felt anger rising inside him. He shook his head. If he lost what little composure he had left, he would soon be finished. The padawan rose his lightsaber again breathing in and out deeply.

"I expected better from a Skywalker," the mercenary provoked him.

Ben felt the warmth rising in his face. He tried to ignore the feeling as best he could.

"You're angry, kid, don't try to deny it. Go ahead, don't be afraid. Let it out, I'm sure it will do you good."

"No," Ben said in his teeth.

"Really? I don't understand what Snoke sees in you..."

Ren stopped. Voe had just got up. Her chest lifted with effort, her eyes sent lightning bolts. But not to Ren. A silhouette wrapped in black had just appeared near the mercenary. Ben guessed easily that it was this individual who had killed Hennix. And Tai.

A giggle escaped Ren.

"When I told you that someone else had come to me, I wasn't lying to you, kid."

Ben was watching this new adversary. He was wearing a loose black coat and a mask. The flames were reflected in the visor. A hood was over his head. The young man recognized the shape of a lightsaber in the black-gloved hand. Their friend's.

Voe seemed to recognize it, too, as she growled in rage and rushed at him before Ben had time to react. Their enemy seemed to easily see the padawan attack. The two swords clashed violently, squeaking and crackling.

"This one wants to be one of my Knights. Until now, he has given himself the means to do so. What I asked him today is a beautiful death. I think it's off to a good start."

"What do you mean?"

Ren approached the young man, his guard down. The blue eyes went into Ben's black eyes.

"So, you have no idea who's hiding behind that mask?" the mercenary wondered. "I understand his anger better..."

The young padawan frowned. There was an innuendo far too obvious to ignore. Ren turned as if nothing had happened to the two opponents who were fighting fiercely. Voe was at the top of her game. She had always been a very good fencer, the young man had never denied it, he had just never admitted it in front of her. Both fighters were the same height, and probably the same weight. The young woman was rather tall for a girl, but she was supple, skilful and fast.

Her mysterious enemy was more so, despite the cape and mask. Ben felt strange at the thought that crossed his mind. It was like watching the darkness dance. The young man felt his heart clench in his chest. He knew what the outcome of the fight would be.

As if to prove him right, the stranger attacked hard, with the Force. Ben received his friend in his arms. She was stunned by the shock. In a growl of effort, Voe clung to the young man's coat to get up in a sitting position. Their eyes met. Ben saw a strange resilience in the young woman's eyes. She knew it too.

Ben raised one hand and timidly brushed her cheek. Relief overwhelmed him when she didn't push him away. Voe grabbed his hand on her face. The hint of a trembling smile passed over her face.

Suddenly, a shadow passed over them. Voe pushed him away brutally. Unbalanced, the young man fell on his back. Then he saw a red flash of lightning pass over him.

A fraction of a second.

Ben straightened up and horror mingled with his stupor. On her knees, Voe held her chest, her face twisted with a grimace of pain. She dropped her green lightsaber and fell forward, face down in the grass.

Something woke up inside him. He could almost hear the sound of a padlock being blown. Ben's eyes travelled between the sarcastic expression on Ren's face and his red sword. Without a word, without a shout, without a tear, the young man got up.

The mercenary raised an eyebrow.

"It's just you now, kid. I think you know what you have to do."

Ben didn't listen to him. He couldn't. The rage bubbled up inside him with such power that it made him dizzy. When he reached out his hand, the young man knew that nothing could stop him.

Ren didn't even have time to be surprised. The invisible vise around his throat was terrible. Before black dots started dancing in front of his eyes, the mercenary had time to see the intensity and determination in the padawan's piercing black eyes. The boy was going to kill him.

Ben's anger rushed in his veins. It would be so easy to finish him off. All he had to do was squeeze a little harder. Ren couldn't resist it. Not with the Force. The young man was ready to close his fist.

Suddenly the feeling of being cut off came back. Different. And Ben was hot, terribly hot, as if an arid sun was hitting him in the back. It was dark, at that moment, the sun was far, very far away from him.

"I... is it me or was it... cold?"

Strangely enough, Ben's breathing calmed down. That voice wasn't Snoke's voice. Nor was it Vader's. Or his mother's. It was very young and surprised. The voice of a girl?

Completely stunned, the young man released his grip on the mercenary's throat. Ren remained on the ground for a moment to catch his breath.

Ben could never have gone all the way. This voice, so innocent, echoed the little boy, the little Ben of his childhood. The young man had been fighting for years against the darkness that threatened to engulf him. He knew that if he allowed himself to be seduced, there would be no turning back. And as strange as it was, the clear voice had acted as a balm, and had prevented him from making a terrible mistake.

Still stunned, the padawan did not see Ren rising. His instincts only cried out for him to wake up at the last moment, when the mercenary activated his red saber. Ben barely had time to pull himself together and parry the attack with his lightsaber. The young man stepped back and faced the mercenary again.

Ren played his weapon with his wrist before shooting the scarlet weapon again. The young man continued to parry without attacking. Ben knew that killing him would mark a turning point in his life. What would happen to him? He didn't know yet, and that terrified him. His gaze fell on Voe's body.

"Snoke was wrong about you, kid. He's going to be disappointed, but at least I would have erased any hope for the Jedi."

Ben's blue lightsaber went to meet the mercenary's one. The plasma screamed violently.

"You got that right. Everyone is wrong about me. I'm not a Jedi."

Ren frowned. Then a green lightning bolt pierced his chest. His blue eyes watched the laser in disbelief. His eyes moved up to Ben's left hand as he grasped Voe's green lightsaber. With his own lightsaber, in his other hand the young man effortlessly pushed the mercenary's crackling weapon away. The red plasma retracted and the weapon fell to the ground.

"Ah... I didn't think you'd have the guts to do it... So how does it feel to take a life for the first time, kid?" Ren managed to ask with a grin of pain.

Few seconds after, he collapsed on his knees, short of breath. Standing in front of him, Ben still held both swords in front of him. Then the mercenary collapsed to the side and stopped moving.

Ben did not feel well. Even though he had just got over with a dangerous criminal, he had just killed a living being. Luke had prepared him for a lot of things, but not for this. Not for this disbelief mixed with disgust. Feeling the panic ready to overwhelm him, the young man forced himself to focus on something else. It wasn't over yet.

The young padawan stared at the dark figure crouched near the flames holding a blue lightsaber. The young man recognized the guard. Tai's sword. All of this was so odd. The flames were reflected on the helmet.

Ben thought back to what Ren had told him. It was true that there was something familiar about the stranger's presence. But it was too far away and too vague in his memories for him to get a specific idea.

"Who are you?"

Still no reaction.

"Ren was right. I feel your anger. Why are you doing this? Why did you kill my friends? " Ben asked, barely controlling his voice.

The stranger got up and took a few steps forward, Tai's lightsaber still buzzing in his gloved fist.

"Do I know you?" Ben finally asked.

It seemed to finally make his opponent react. He stepped forward and Ren's sword flew to his free hand. The stranger had restored the balance. Two swords against two swords. He gathered speed but Ben was ready. The mysterious warrior had nothing in common with Ren. If the mercenary was only a brute, this one was a shrewd and calculating one.

To compensate for his lack of strength and the difference in size, he slipped to the ground at the last moment and tried to mow down Ben's legs with his weapons. The young man dropped Voe's sword and repelled the stranger with the Force. He rolled on the ground several times. Ben attacked. His sword met the red sword in another unpleasant squeal. A foot violently struck the padawan's thigh. His surprise lasted only a fraction of a second during which the stranger was able to free himself. He slipped under the weapons and rose up smoothly.

Ben wasn't feeling well. He tried to pull the wool over the stranger's eyes each time their weapons clashed, but his emotions eventually betrayed him. The loss of his friends, the loss of his home, the death of Ren, the voices in his head, and that individual he was desperately trying to put a face to... It was too much.

The stranger too was beginning to falter. His movements were less fluid, almost desperate, far from the cold and calculating spirit he had shown up to then. Yet he managed to subdue Ben with the Force, which made the young man furious. The stranger was having difficulty to counter the resistance of the padawan on his knees. The young man saw the stranger's outstretched arms trembling despite his feet firmly planted in the ground. Ben tried to get up.

A wave of Force threw him backwards. His back hit the stone. The ruins of his own hut. Stunned, he saw the black silhouette cut itself against the flames and came closer. In a hazy way, he guessed a hand that lowered the mask. Ben was unable to concentrate to recognize whoever it was.

Instead, he heard a voice for the first time, trembling and full of bitterness, but clear as cristal and feminine.

"Yes, you know me."

The shock passed and Ben's vision became clearer again. The person in front of him bent down to pick up an object. Against the light he could not see the face under the hood, but he could clearly see the shape of his own lightsaber in his enemy's hand. She threw down Tai's sword and made Ben's weapon disappear in her cloak. Then she leaned toward him.

He would have liked to stand up and take his saber from her, but his whole body protested in pain. The young man felt the water in the corner of his eyes.

"And now you're going to know what it's like when your family abandons you."

With these last words the black figure melted into the darkness.

"No...," the young man whispered, falling apart completely.

Ben forced himself up. It seemed to take him hours, although it didn't. He had a lot of trouble getting up. He crawled on all fours for a few feet. Those that separated him from Voe. His breath quickened as he leaned over her. His friend was still breathing. He held her in his arms.

"Voe?"

The young woman did not answer. He shook her gently and called out to her again. Her eyelids quivered and then opened weakly. Ren's lightsaber had burned Voe's torso with a red line from her left shoulder to her right hip. The young man could not hold back the tears that fell from his eyes. He could no longer hold them back.

"Voe, I'm sorry," he choked. "So sorry."

The trembling fingers of his friend touched his hand with a reassuring gesture before falling back down. He saw her face wrinkle as she concentrated with all her strength.

"It's all right... okay... Ben... it's okay... it's okay. We've done our best to protect... this is fate..."

"I will not be a Jedi, Voe..."

"Yes, you will, Ben... find answers to all this..."

The apprentice leaned her head against Ben's chest and her face softened. Her eyes closed. Without trying to understand, the young man tightened his embrace and cradled her, shaken with sobs that he was struggling to control. Then gently, she collapsed into his arms.

Reality hit him hard. He was alone, without any noise around him except that of the blaze. With his jaw tightened, the young man gently laid Voe's lifeless body on the grass. He retrieved her lightsaber and put it between her hands, which he had just crossed on her chest.

Shivering, Ben looked around him. Breathing panicking, the padawan got up. No, he could not be alone.

"Luke!" he shouted.

His howl echoed through the night. Only the crackling of the flames answered him. He called his uncle again several times. Then there were two explosions further on. It was his own ship and the one his friends were using.

The young man felt his blood leave his face. He was alone, with no master, no friends, no vessel. He stopped fighting. His feet slipped beneath him and the darkness finally engulfed him.

...

Leia was in shock. For a few hours, her world had been spinning out of control. She remained dazed for a long time despite the turmoil around her. She never thought she would feel it again in such a violent way. Death.

With all the emotions overwhelming her, she was not even able to concentrate enough to look for her brother's presence in the Force.

Something stronger was disturbing her. Ben... His despair and panic were like an overwhelming wave. She could vaguely hear the people around her worrying about her condition.

Nevertheless, C-3PO managed to get her attention. Confused, it took her a few seconds to understand what he had just told her.

"Princess, the Millennium Falcon has just landed."

Leia got up and walked towards the droid. In an unusual gesture, he reached out his arm to her. The General grabbed his mechanical hand and leaned on him. The cold metal under her palm brought her back to reality. At the same time, a figure burst into the room, drawing all the attention to her.

"Oh, General Solo! Thank the Maker, you are here! A terrible disaster has just happened!

"I know, I know," the smuggler mumbled without paying any more attention to the droid.

Han froze when he saw his wife. He didn't think their reunion would take place under such circumstances. Leia let go of C-3PO and agreed to dive into the arms her husband was holding out to her. He closed them around her. Public effusions weren't their custom, but this time they both didn't care.

"I'm here," he murmured.

The pilot gently caressed her hair. He didn't need the Force to know what she was feeling at that moment. He had never been so scared in his life. But there, facing her, Han had no right to flinch. All he could think about was to protect her, support her.

"I got your message in time," he said quietly.

The General looked up at her husband. She didn't need to speak for him to understand what her eyes were saying. Han gently pulled away and put an arm around her waist. They had to go almost all the way across the base to reach the Millennium Falcon.

Never had the distance seemed so endless.

Behind them, no one dared to follow them except C-3PO. He too was worried. For his Princess, and Master Ben, of whom he kept pleasant memories. The droid didn't like those strange feelings that were taking up more and more space inside him every day. It was much scarier than being attacked by a monster.

They were almost there when Leia broke away from Han and ran to the ship's ramp. Surprised, her husband tried to stop her.

"Leia! No, wait!" he exclaimed.

His words had no effect, so he ran after her. His long legs gave him some ground, but she was fast. The smuggler almost ran into her when she froze like a stone at the entrance to the common room.

The scene was confusing. Chewbacca was at one end of the room. He was grunting and whimpering softly as if to reassure someone, while remaining on the defensive with his weapon beside him. In front of the Wookie, under the gaming table, Ben's large body was curled up. His arms were clutching his legs bent against his chest. His eyes, red from crying, stared into the void. Leia tried to step forward.

The sound of her shoe on the ground made the young man shiver. A second later, a strange sound echoed through the vessel, like a piece of metal bending under stress. The Falcon groaned in pain, battered by Ben's power.

The General did not move. She reached out her spirit to her son. He was radiating negative waves. His head was full of anger and pain. But not physical pain. He was not hurt. He was struggling with himself.

"I wanted to warn you before," Han whispered.

Leia turned to her husband and put a hand on his arm, telling him not to say anything more and not to move. Han obeyed her silent command. It was hard to accept the fact that he was completely helpless in a situation like this. He hadn't seen Ben in years, and he found his child in a state he couldn't even describe, and he couldn't help him.

Han had seen the burning temple. He had seen the lifeless bodies of the padawans, large and small. And those of his son's friends. When the Falcon had landed, he had not thought. All that mattered was getting Ben and the survivors, if any, back. At the time, he had kept his cool.

The smuggler had lost it after the take-off. Chewie had protested when his friend had asked him to go to Ben, but the Wookie had finally surrendered. Han had been alone in the cockpit, trying to get rid of the fear in his gut. When he finally had decided to join them, his friend had stopped him with a growl.

The Wookies were much more sensitive than they seemed, especially Chewie, who had already crossed the path of Yoda, Luke's master, but who had also lived through the Clone Wars, the rise of the Empire, and its fall.

Han had retreated into the corridor, just as he did again, listening to Leia. He leaned against a wall, but it was hard for him to repress his sadness. Seeing this big fellow destroyed disturbed him. It was so terrible to feel so helpless. Only Leia had the power to get close to Ben now. She turned to her husband and calmly asked him:

"Did you see who it was?"

Han shook his head.

"No... Ben was all alone... But some damage and injuries to some of the kids... it wasn't fire that killed them... or a blaster... I think it was a lightsaber," the pilot whispered.

He maintained his wife's dumbfounded gaze the best he could. She turned away and began to move towards her son. Behind her, Chewie was still on alert. Leia knelt down beside Ben. Her spirit tried to move closer to his sending him a soothing wave.

Cautiously, her hand landed on his blood-sooty wrist. His entire padawan outfit was smeared with mud and covered with the black of the smoke. His face was in the same state.

"Ben," she called out to him gently, tightening her fingers on his wrist. "I'm here. It's all over now."

But his gaze still seemed to stare into the void. His eyes were so dark. She could feel that there was something other than the loss of his friends eating away at him.

"Tell me, Ben. Tell me. I want to help you, but if you don't tell me, I won't be able to. Talk to me."

For a moment, she thought he wouldn't react. Suddenly, he turned his head towards Leia and put his black, wounded look into his mother's eyes.

"It's all my fault. If they're all dead."

"What are you saying?"

"I wasn't there to protect them! I left to come here and..."

Startled by his outburst, his mother jumped. She tried to keep her composure. She had to stay calm and serene in front of Ben.

"Tell me everything that happened."

To her great surprise, her boy didn't resist and a steady stream of words escaped him. He told her everything. Ren, the masked stranger, the fire. But the more he spoke, his eyes darkened and his voice became sharp and bitter. Leia thought the young man was finished when he fell silent.

The Jedi apprentice turned to his mother with a sudden gesture. He wanted to tell her something, but his eyes began to flee from her.

"Ben... that's good, keep talking to me," she encouraged him by caressing his face.

He didn't refuse contact, but his eyes were focused on everything but Leia and his breathing became panting again. He was frightened. A hand rested on Ben's shoulder and pressed it down.

"I'm here," the gesture meant.

Han had ignored the advice of Chewie and his wife.

"Go ahead, son. Your mother and I are here," he said confidently.

Surrounded by his two parents, Ben murmured, so that only they could hear, in a hesitant tone.

"The voices..."

"What voices?" his father asked immediately, a little brusque.

A single glance from Leia took away from the smuggler any desire to ask further questions. Han rolled his eyes. He wanted to help! But apparently, he was doing it wrong.

Or wasn't he.

"I can still hear them in my head... I... I thought that I had managed to shut them up, but I was wrong... He asked me to join him..."

"Who?" asked Leia.

"Snoke."

"And the other voice?"

"My... my grandfather."

"Anakin?" she suggested, wanting he was only talking about his grandfather.

Ben looked his mother straight in the eye.

"Darth Vader."

A shiver ran down Leia's spine.

...

It had been a difficult night. Getting Ben out of his silence had taken a lot of patience. And yet, it had not been enough. Han sighed as he opened his eyes. With an automatic gesture, his hand rested on the pillow next to him. Still half asleep, he groped around. The place next to him was empty. The pilot stood up with a grimace. He had fallen asleep fully dressed in his leather jacket and shoes.

At the end of the bed, Leia was sitting with her back bent. He slid down beside her. Silence persisted for a moment between them. After a few minutes, her head rested on his shoulder. Han put one arm around hers and kissed her hair.

"I'm sorry for what happened."

"Me too," she replied in a sad voice. "Luke, the poor kids, they didn't deserve this..."

"Your brother... is he still alive?"

"Yes, I would have felt it otherwise... But it seems he is hiding, I don't feel his presence as before."

"He is hiding?" the pilot asked, surprised. "Does he think everyone is dead?"

"Maybe, he does..."

"But he must know that Ben is still alive with the Force, right?

"I don't know, Han! That's not how the Force works!"

She walked away and looked at him.

"I don't know," she repeated more calmly.

Han raised his hands in a sign of surrender. He changed the subject.

"The First Order then?"

"Probably," sighed Leia. "I'm convinced that the arrival of this... this assassin who masters Jedi techniques is no coincidence. If we assume that the First Order is the spawn of the Empire, and therefore the dark side, then there may be a correlation."

Her husband nodded. His fingers grabbed Leia's finer ones and began to caress them lovingly, but distractedly. His thumb passed over the stone that adorned the ring on her ring finger.

"What are you going to tell to the Senate?"

"Just facts. The Senate didn't pay much attention to the Jedi Temple. Luke is discreet and doesn't really have a thing for politics. The Jedi are still a myth today."

"Maybe this will wake them up," Han laughed.

"If only... The problem is that right now, the First Order is acting in areas where the New Republic doesn't feel concerned."

The smuggler's eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

"And Ben? What are you going to do about him?"

Leia stood up. She began pacing back and forth, wringing her hands. Seeing her silent made him nervous. A worried wrinkle crept between her eyebrows and her beautiful black eyes seemed filled with doubts.

"I could...," he began.

"No," Leia cut him off.

Han looked up at her. She wasn't fair, he hadn't said anything yet. His wife stopped in front of him and pointed a finger forward without accusing him. In fact she wasn't even looking at him.

"I'm going back to the temple with him. He needs help with his mourning, and I might be able to help him a little with the Jedi funeral rites."

"Okay. And then? Considering what he told us last night and what he told you, what's going on in his head is pretty disturbing..."

"Um, um...," she said, still pensive.

He stood up, hands on his hips. His steps brought him closer to his wife. His hands rested gently on her shoulders.

"We could... fly… Him, Chewie and me, just like when he was a kid."

In the way Leia looked at him, he couldn't help but feel like an idiot.

"What?"

"You want my son to do all this pirate stuff with you? You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm trying to find a solution, to take his mind off what happened... And then maybe I'll finally get a chance to spend some time with my son."

Leia sneered.

"Han. Ben will never be a smuggler like you. He never will. First, because I don't want him to be, and second, because it's not in his nature. And then we're talking about dark forces you don't know about that have made him live a nightmare since he was a kid."

"When you put it like that, it's clear I'm useless," he sighed as he let go off her.

"Han..."

He pointed a finger at Leia.

"So, what are you going to do? Finish his Jedi training? Recruit him into the Resistance?"

"Come on, it sounds like you're implying that I want to manipulate him like the Empire did to recruit its troopers."

"You're the one who said it."

Hurt, the General backed down.

"Excuse me, that was stupid and mean," Han said, sitting back down.

Leia leaned against the wall of the room, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry too. But I can't finish his training. I'm not sure I can help him... I've been off this path for a long time. Luke was going to give him some tests. He had finished his training. In fact, he must be even stronger than me. I have nothing to teach him. And you're right, I wish I could get him into the Resistance. I could keep an eye on him..."

"Leia, you are his mother. Even though you will show him things he already knows, he will listen to you because you are his mother."

"You think?"

"Yes," he assured her with a sincere smile. "Come here."

His wife listened to him and grabbed his outstretched hands.

"I really want to spend time with him, Leia."

"Then stay. Join me. Just like before."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Maybe because I'm not young anymore. I remind you that it was more than twenty years ago."

"But you are still young enough to play the mercenary."

"The mercenary? You're going a bit too far..."

"Ben is not like you, Han."

"And he's not like you either, darling. You want to know what he is? A scribbler."

Leia tried to get her hands out of his, but he closed his fingers around her wrists to keep her from running away.

"So, what if he is? I think the better term is researcher. Or archaeologist. But above all, he's a Jedi. And given the opacity that covers their history, I think it's good that someone wants to put the facts in the right order. Like Luke."

"Archaeologist? Why do I feel like he suddenly looks a lot more like me? Oh yeah, people looking for treasure, I think they're called pirates, thieves..."

"Han!"

"What?" he replied in the same tone, pretending innocence.

She leaned forward to get to his eye level. Her lips curled into a sly smile.

"Do you know what you are? You are a difficult man. Very difficult."

"I know," he replied with a mischievous expression. "And that's what you like about me. But you, darling, you're even more difficult than me."

Without letting go of that amused expression, he let go of one of her hand and gently grasped the ring finger of her left hand.

"And I'm stuck with you for a long time," he said with an unequivocal raised eyebrow.

His wife's hand tapped his cheek gently. Her movement ended as a tender caress.

"Poor Ben."

"Yes, it might not be easy for him with girls, if he inherited both of our characters. Ouch!"

Leia had just hit him on the shoulder with her fist. A flick that he complained proforma. He even ended up laughing. The corners of the General's lips curled into a real smile, which finally fell off.

"More seriously, what do we do?"

"Let's go, step by step and see what happens."

"Aren't you afraid he'll go over to the dark side?"

"Yes, I am. But I'm going to do what I can to help him. We mustn't underestimate him. Ben is strong. He's a Skywalker. And a Solo."

Still seated, Han spread his legs and pulled Leia against him. He closed his arms around her waist and put his cheek against her belly. She let herself go and hugged his shoulders, realizing how much she had missed him.

"Deep down inside, I knew something like this had to happen. Whether or not Ben was responsible for it. It never stops... Good, bad... The balance never lasts long," she whispered in a hoarse voice, on the verge of tears.

After several minutes of silence, Leia felt that he wanted to move away. But with a sad sigh, he just rested his head under her chest.

"Han, talk to me," she asked him, as she would have done with Ben.

Her husband tightened his hands around her waist.

"I'm scared, Leia," he confessed.

"I understand," the former Princess replied. "I'm scared too. A small part of me hoped that all this was behind us... but it really was a very tiny part of me."

There was another moment of silence. Leia stroked her husband's hair.

"Leia?"

"Han?"

"Uh, no, nothing, nothing..."

"Yes, go ahead, tell me."

"You're going to think I'm stupid..."

"Perhaps. Or not. Give it a try."

Han raised his head. His expression was really serious. Like really serious. Also, she encouraged him with a look.

"I have an idea... of who this stranger might be."

"Do you?"

"Remember when we went to see Ben? It was for his sixteenth birthday."

"And?"

"Luke was in a pretty strange state. Nervous, feverish... Far from the calm and serene Jedi master I expected to see. And do you remember who we saw that day?"

Leia frowned, concentrating. Suddenly, her face expressed surprise. She had understood what her husband was getting at. Her mouth formed an "O". Finally, she shook her head.

"No, Han!"

"With you Jedi, nothing is impossible! Ouch! What was that for?"

"Yes, we asked ourselves some questions, but that's all they were. Questions. And I'm not a Jedi!"

"But why are you hitting me?"

Leia rolled her eyes and sighed. Han tightened his grip around her. The General let it happen.

"Children. I'm only dealing with children," she sighed.

...

The inside of his head was hurting him. He had spent the night thinking, reliving the scene. His eyes were burning, dry after he had given up holding back his tears. He had never had the opportunity to get drunk, and to dissuade him Luke had already shared his experience with alcohol. The pain in his head must have been very close to a hangover.

A gentle growl pulled Ben from his thoughts. With his head in his hands, he opened his eyes and straightened up. Chewie had just sat down next to him.

"I'm... a little better."

The Wookie uttered more vocalizations. He said that if he needed to talk, he would be there to listen.

"Thank you."

His father's best friend, his "Uncle Chewie," suddenly reached out a big hairy hand and pulled him back a little violently. Ben almost suffocated by all that hair. The Wookie started growling again. They had a special bond.

After a while, the young man pulled away. He grabbed the cup of kaff in front of him and dashed it away.

Earlier in the morning, he had heard the voices of his parents. The tone had risen several times and Ben did not like being in the middle of their arguments. It reminded him too much of the time when they were having a serious argument when the Force had started to grow inside of him.

His mother appeared in front of him. Her eyes seemed to want to see right through him. The young man tried a reassuring smile. But Leia was not fooled.

"Do you want to come with me to get some fresh air?" she asked.

Ben nodded. He soon realized that his mother still wanted to talk about what had just happened. A hand like a heavy paw fell on his shoulder. It was Chewie's gentle way of encouraging him. He got up and joined his mother. They went down the Falcon's ramp and walked a few steps away.

Feeling the sun's rays on his skin did him good. It was soothing. The young man sat on a box. Life on D'qar did not seem to have changed. Everyone was busy in all directions. In him, everything was going around in all directions too.

Ever since his father had picked him up and supported him to climb in the Falcon, a throbbing pain in his chest was pressing him. All the memories were behind his eyes, threatening to resurface at any moment. His head was about to explode.

Ben no longer felt his uncle in the Force, but his gut was telling him he was alive. Was he injured? Could he have escaped? Once again, a surge of guilt overwhelmed him. The young man tried to swallow his emotions, but Leia noticed his panting breath. Her hand touched his shoulder gently. Ben's hand, resting on his knees with his palms facing upwards, involuntarily tensed.

"Ben..."

Tears of rage burned his eyes.

"She killed Hennix and then Tai. Ren killed Voe. I... killed Ren. And we fought each other. She managed to knock me down," he managed to articulate, his throat knotted.

"She?" his mother wondered.

The young man nodded.

"Who is she?"

"I don't know... but she stole my lightsaber."

Without thinking, Leia's fingers made their way between the strands of his black hair.

"You'll build another one," she said with conviction.

Ben raised his head abruptly. His dark eyes were full of anger. Under her hand, Leia felt the taut muscles of his shoulder. He was restraining himself from getting up and letting his rage explode.

The young man didn't want to scare her. He didn't want to hurt her. Especially not her. This mother he had just met again.

But the words could not help but escape from his mouth with growing bitterness.

"You don't understand. She stole it from me! That part of me! She took everything from me! She destroyed my home! I hate her!"

Leia's hands left his hair to take his face instead. Her thumbs massaged the tops of his cheekbones, chasing away the tears of hate and suffering. The former princess felt this anger as if it was her own.

Who else but her could understand it better? With a sigh, as she was also trying to hold back her emotions, she placed her forehead against his.

"I understand better than you think. I know what it's like to see the world you love destroyed," Leia whispered. "Don't let your hate blind you. It will lead you to a dark fate. Don't give up hope. And what happened is not your fault, Ben."

The young man squeezed the wrists of his mother who was still holding his face in her hands. The strength of his grip surprised her, but he wasn't trying to break free. It was as if he wanted her to become that anchor that would hold him up.

"I can't go on without him. And I killed a man..."

Leia detached herself from her son and spread his face up to see his eyes.

"You killed a criminal who hadn't as many scruples as you did, but don't regret it. I wish there was another solution for you because taking a life is never an easy decision. What you did was right. Don't forget that you are strong, Ben. Don't let the dark side get you down. No matter who's behind it, they'll make you feel alone. You never have been, and even though Luke vanished, you're not. I'm here, your dad is here, your other uncles are here."

"I can't be a Jedi..."

A new sigh escaped Leia. She closed her eyes and then bent down to kiss his forehead, trying to give him all the love and comfort she could give him.

"Give yourself some time. I will help you. If I have to, I will return to the path of the Jedi."

Luke had never told him why his mother had given up her training. The sorrow in her dark eyes was easy to read. If Leia went back to training, it wouldn't be easy for her.

The Jedi apprentice watched his mother peeking around, as if she didn't want anyone else to hear what she was about to say.

His father. She had just made a decision without telling Han, which he was not going to like.

"Ben, stay with me, please."

The young man looked up at Leia, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He more or less suspected what she was going to ask him.

"Join the Resistance."

Ben kept his eyes on her, but took time to think. He didn't want his mother to suffer because of him. And he didn't want to hurt his father. The young man got his hands out of Leia's.

He didn't know what to do. Ben didn't want to choose between his parents. The wound in his soul was still fresh and vivid. He would make his decision when it would be the right time.

Yet, through all this fog in his mind, he was sure of one thing. He hadn't told his mother about it, because strangely enough, even if it had only lasted a few seconds, it had been much more intimate than his conversations with Snoke. Ben wanted to find out who was the girl whose voice had prevented him from completely turning to the dark side.

---

I hope you enjoyed this long, very long chapter! Please let me know! ;)

See you soon!