I don't own Naruto or any of their characters.
English is not my first language.
Crutch
Many called her an alcoholic and they were right to a degree.
Yeah, she drank and she drank a lot so much so that sometimes even her inhumane metabolism couldn't deal with which was saying something.
She could outdrink in fact every man and woman no matter who they were.
But what they didn't understand was that she didn't start drinking for the fun of it like she started gambling in fact, for a long time, she hated the very taste of alcohol.
To her, it was what kept her sane, it was what made her forget.
No, it was what kept her sane because it made her forget.
Alcohol was her crutch.
It made her forget the fact that her baby brother was dead before he really had a chance to live, killed in a war that he shouldn't have been fighting in the first place if their grandfather's vision of peace had come true.
She doesn't want to remember his dream of becoming a Hokage, the look on his face every time he spoke of his one and only dream.
The same brother who used to be for a very long time, the most important person in the world to her, and now is buried deep in the ground in a grave too small for his big, bright, and strong personality that made everyone love him.
Alcohol was her Crutch.
It helped her forget that her beloved fiancé was buried in the ground so close to her brother, the same brother he never got to meet but someway loved as much as her.
It helps her forget that she couldn't save the only man she had ever loved and he too was now dead because of her.
It helped her forget of his biggest dream that would come true no not to become Hokage but to have a family with her as the mother and him as the father.
To forget his sweet voice and his lingering touches what he made her feel on a good day and what she felt when she was with him and what she felt when he left her forever.
Alcohol was her Crutch.
When she drinks, she forgets of that child that grew up inside of her, a child that shared the same blood as the man she still loves to this day, the child she lost and couldn't save just like she couldn't save his father.
The child she saw grow up from a small thing into the man, that everyone in Konoha admired more than anything.
The little boy, she heard call her mommy and saw smile at anything and everything
The little boy who became the person who didn't have anything bad to say for anyone and that always helped everyone.
The same child whose eyes shined with intelligence like his father and kindness like his uncle.
The child who could befriend even the harshest of personalities and turned them good.
She could forget that she saw the coffin that carried her son's body lowered into the ground, she saw his friends break down like she wanted to do so much but couldn't.
Alcohol was her crutch.
She could forget that to protect her grandsons she couldn't see them anymore after her beloved son was dead.
That she had to protect them by staying away from them something that broke her heart more than anything even that loss.
She wasn't there to see her grandson's first steps or hear his first words as she had done with her son in a time that looked so long ago right now.
She could just imagine what he looks like did he has his mother Uzumaki hair and eyes or was the copy of his father with those beautiful blue eyes that shined with curiosity, intelligence, and kindness, and that blond hair the only thing he had inherited from her.
Or her oldest grandson whom she loved a lot despite not during the same blood as he was forced to grow up before his time.
Alcohol was her crutch it helps her forget and remove herself from the pain she feels every day.