Hello Everyone!
If you've read the translations of the 4th Arc of the Re: Zero Web Novel, then I think you know what scene inspired me to write this little one-shot. I love Emilia and Subaru's relationship(though the Rem X Subaru thing is just as charming and comes in at a very close second) and the interaction leading up to this was just so cute and hilarious that I couldn't resist jotting this down and sharing it. Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Re: Zero-Starting Life in Another World or any of its characters. This is strictly for entertainment purposes and I do not, by any means, seek to profit from it.
Ram and Frederica Baumann, the two maids of Lord Roswaal L. Mathers, were enjoying some tea together in their master's recently rebuilt mansion when they heard a pounding at the door to the parlor they were in. The pink-haired, red-eyed demon and the golden-haired, green-eyed Beast Human perked up at the sound.
"Ram! Frederica!" came the voice of their friend and ally, the human Subaru Natsuki. "Let me in! I need your help with something!"
Ram sighed in exasperation. While she tolerated Subaru's presence in the mansion and was nothing but grateful for the help he'd provided, she had a generally low opinion of him and made little to no effort to conceal it. "Must we?" she complained, "We were having such a peaceful moment; I know for a fact Barasu will only ruin such things."
"Now, now, Ram," chided Frederica, putting down her cup, "Let's hear what he has to say. I'm sure Subaru wouldn't bother us unless he felt it was important."
"Barasu's and my definition of important tend to be two very different things," the other maid sulked, but her senior ignored her, pleasantly calling, "Subaru! Come in please!"
The tousled-haired young man opened the door, with his beloved Emilia, the silver-haired Half-Elf who was among the five young women chosen as candidates for the Royal Selection that would decide who would be the next monarch of the Kingdom of Lugunica, trying to follow him in.
"But we really should try to come up with a name for it, Subaru!" the beautiful girl protested as the boy who had kissed her but a few days prior gently tried to push her back into the hallway.
"Mili, I'd love to have this discussion with you someday in the very distant future," Subaru said, a nervous and pleading expression across his face as he attempted to fend off Emilia's entrance, "But right now I need to talk to Ram and Frederica about something very important, and I need to you to stay outside of this room until I tell you to come in."
"But-"
"Please?"
Emilia sighed. "Fine," she relented, pouting a little. "But we are going to finish this conversation Subaru! I know that I'm still figuring things out about us, but I do know that this is critical! We can't afford to lollygag with the name!"
"Who says "lollygag," in this day and age?" Subaru asked himself, not for the first time, as he closed the door. Turning around and slumping against it, still physically exhausted from the recent ordeal of the Sanctuary and now emotionally exhausted with the current debacle he faced, he opened his brown eyes to find Ram and Frederica looking at him in confusion.
"What on Earth have you done now, Barasu?" Ram said reproachfully.
Subaru sighed, getting up and brushing off his pants. "It's not so much something I've done," he said tiredly, "it's Emilia misunderstanding the full implications of what exactly I did."
He then looked rather sheepish, rubbing the back of his head and blushing. "So you see," he began, "Back in the Sanctuary, Mili and I, sorta, kinda, kissed..."
Neither of the maids had been expecting that. An eyebrow raised in between the bangs on either side of Ram's right eye, and Frederica gave a small smile, exposing her sharp teeth.
"That's wonderful, Subaru," the older maid said cautiously, not wanting to upset him if(as she feared) the kiss had led to something going wrong. "But what is it about that has Miss Emilia in such distress exactly?"
"Is it that you're such a terrible kisser you've ruined the experience forever for her," the younger maid snarked, "Or did you force it upon her like the brute you are and send her into hysterics with your perverse attack?"
"Don't automatically assume that I did it horribly or assaulted her!" Subaru snapped. He did not need the older of the Demon Maid Twins' attacks on his self-esteem right now.
"Anyway," he continued with his story, "Emilia and I were talking about it just a few minutes ago, and I told her that just because we kissed she didn't have to rush in figuring out how she feels about me and how she wants our relationship to go, but I could tell that there was still something bothering her, so I asked what was up."
And there the would-be knight paused, looking very embarrassed. He knew he had to go on to get the help he needed with this fiasco, but not sure how to go about it. It was a very humiliating and ridiculous problem, for both of them, and Subaru couldn't wait for the chance to get his hands on Puck, the Great Spirit previously contracted to Emilia, for not properly resolving it before now.
"Subaru?" Frederica inquired, looking worried. "What had Miss Emilia so concerned?"
Welp, time to go for broke, Subaru thought, hoping he wouldn't regret it, and continued.
"Emilia's...still laboring under that delusion about what happens when a man and a woman kiss," he finished in a rush, making a cupping motion with his hands over his belly.
Ram's eyebrow shot up even higher, and Frederica's eyes widened as her face slightly flushed. "Ooooh," the two maids said in unison, looking at each other in a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief.
"That would explain why she was talking about choosing a name," Ram finally commented, after about half-a-minute of uncomfortable silence. Frederica nodded in agreement and cast a sympathetic look at Subaru.
"And I take it," she asked tentatively, "that the reason why you came to us was so that we could explain how babies are actually made to her for you?"
"YES," Subaru cried out, grateful to the Beast Human for her understanding. "I'd do it myself, but I can't bear to be the one to destroy her adorable ignorance on these matters! Besides, it would look so much better coming from one or both of you than it would from me or one of the other guys, and Petra is too young to be having that kind of conversation with her."
"Huh," Ram huffed, putting her hand up dismissively, "And why should I have to help with any of this? It is absolutely none of my concern."
Subaru smirked. I thought you might say that, he thought. Oh, this is going to be good.
"Because," he said, making his way behind the couch where the young Demon was sitting, "this could have serious implications for my relationship with Emilia, and if they end up being negative, guess who's already waiting for me and loves me more than life itself."
Ram's eyes narrowed at Subaru's words. "While I admit that I may not have any memory of my sister while she is in her current state," she said waspishly, "I still disbelieve any claim there may be that any blood relation of mine would fall for you, Barasu."
Subaru shrugged, deciding to let the barb slide for right now, "Until we can save Rem, I can't offer you any other proof than my word," he stated simply, while a smug grin remained etched on his face, "But she's already said she's willing to be my wife, and I'm very open to the idea, though Mili still occupies the number 1 spot in my heart and I'm not planning on giving up just yet. Willing to take a chance?"
Ram closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, ruefully accepting his logic. As much as she loathed the idea of helping Barasu, the possibility that he might actually become her family was even worse. She turned her head away, not wanting to even look at his smug face, only to find Frederica holding her hand to her lips and grinning, clearly not trying to laugh, when she opened her eyes.
"Goodness, Subaru," the blonde maid said, unable to hide the mirth from her voice, "that was rather devious of you."
The young man gave a sheepish chuckle. "Well, I figure that Ram's desire to see me look like an idiot in front of Emilia would be outweighed by the desire to minimize the chances of me becoming her broth-"
"Finish that statement and I will ensure your family tree ends with you," the pinkette maid snapped. "Whether you choose to plant your roots in Miss Emilia's fertile soil or Rem's."
"Why did you have to be so mean and make it sound so dirty?" Subaru squeaked, anxiously crossing his legs. "So, could the two of you please give Emilia the talk for me?"
The two maids nodded.
"Good, thank you," he said gratefully, making his way to the door and opening it. "Mili! You can come in."
The silver-haired elven beauty stepped into the parlor and opened her mouth to continue her and Subaru's prior discussion, but Frederica quickly interrupted.
"Miss Emilia, I know that you would like to finish your...conversation with Subaru," she said gently, pulling Emilia down to sit on her couch, "But he's informed us of the topic of said conversation, and Ram and I feel like we need to talk to you about it before then."
Emilia looked sharply at Subaru, her cheeks and pointed ears flushing with embarrassment. "You told them about our-"
"I-It was for a good reason, I swear!" Subaru shouted nervously, feeling a bead of sweat make its way down his head. "Anyway, ladies, I'll leave you alone for this, cause trust me, it'll only be more awkward if I'm in the room for this."
Ignoring Emilia's cry of, "Wait!" Subaru made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Subaru?" He perked up to see Otto walking through the hallway, a book cradled in his left arm. "What's going on?" he asked anxiously, "You look stressed out."
Subaru laughed and dropped his arm around his friend's shoulders. "It's a long story, old buddy," he said wearily. "For now, let's just say that a very embarrassing topic of discussion is hopefully being resolved in a timely fashion."
A few minutes later, Emilia, a candidate in the Royal Selection to decide the 42nd ruler of the Kingdom of Lugunica, was staring at her feet and blushing furiously as Frederica finished the lecture up with, "And that is where babies really come from."
"So," the Half-Elf asked slowly, "It really isn't kissing, it's...what you just...?"
"Yes, Miss Emilia," Ram said pointedly. "While kissing certainly can and does take place during conception, it is not an essential component of the process. Which means, for the moment, you are not carrying Barasu's spawn."
"You could phrase it a little more kindly than that, Ram," her Beast Human colleague said reproachfully. Emilia still looked rather shocked at what she'd just heard, and her normally pale face had not quite lost its scarlet hue.
"It's a little disquieting," she thought out loud, "I've known men and women's bodies were very different from each other for a while, but can they really...connect like that?"
"Yes," Frederica replied patiently, knowing it was a lot to take in for her. She remembered how embarrassed and confused she'd felt when she'd had a similar discussion at a much younger age than her mistress.
Although, the maid pondered briefly, While Miss Emilia is much older physically than I was when I received this lecture, and is wise beyond her years in many ways, emotionally she's about the same I was. Though that may start changing soon, considering how a relatively handsome and charming young man her own age has told her he loves her and has begun serious attempts at courtship.
Frederica's ruminations were interrupted by a cry from Emilia as the silver-haired girl buried her face in her hands. "What's wrong, Miss Emilia?" she asked.
"Oh my gosh," Emilia moaned, absolutely mortified, "I put Subaru through all that foolish nonsense just because I'm so stupid about these things! Now I know why he looked so embarrassed and reluctant to talk to me about it. I even tried to push him into helping me come up with a name for our child! He must really hate me right now."
"There, there, it's all right," Frederica said soothingly, gently patting her friend on the back. "I'm sure a little thing like this isn't going to impact how he feels about you in the slightest. If he blames anyone for this situation, I believe that it would be Puck for not explaining things to you properly."
"One would think," remarked Ram, in a mockery of innocence, "that Barasu would delight in this opportunity to prey upon your youthful ignorance and try to coerce you into satisfying his carnal-"
"Ram!" snapped Frederica, as Emilia flushed an even deeper shade of crimson. "Please stop saying such things! I'm sure that, while Subaru has made it no secret his feelings for Miss Emilia and how deep they run, he would never attempt to engage any woman, let alone the one he loves, in the arts of the bedroom without her given consent."
Emilia tentatively raised her hand. "Um," she asked nervously, "Do you think Subaru really wants to do...that sort of thing with me? Does it feel that good?"
The Beast Human maid sighed softly. "Well, I'm sure he would like to eventually," she began. "And how much pleasure you can receive from it...depends."
"On what?"
"Well, a lot of things, actually. Whether both of the partners involved, be they men or women, have given their willing consent to the activity or not. Physical and emotional compatibility between the two of them is also a very important factor. As is the experience, or lack thereof, each one may have."
Emilia looked a little puzzled. "Physical and emotional compatibility," she asked. "What does that mean?"
"For the latter," Ram took over, "It refers to the feelings that the two individuals have for one another. If it is just for one night of pleasure-like between a drunken soldier and barmaid in a common tavern-or even multiple occasions purely for the physical sensations-as with a nobleman and his mistress-then the emotional compatibility would be pretty low. Even more so if one of the partners forces themselves on the other without their permission or is paying them to do it, as one might do in a brothel."
"A brothel?" Emilia said inquisitively.
"A place where prostitutes-women, and sometimes men, who sell their bodies-live and work," Ram said bluntly. "These individuals are sometimes more commonly and crudely referred to as whores, especially if they are cheap, and it's considered a very serious insult to women in general. The more wealthy, expensive, and skilled ones are known as courtesans."
"Now that I think about it," the Half-Elf girl put in again, looking less embarrassed and a little sad now, "I've actually heard the word whore before, usually directed at me as an insult, as you said. When I asked Puck what it meant, he just told me it's another very bad word people use and to ignore it."
"On the other hand," Frederica said, getting the conversation back on track and diverting it away from the unfortunately familiar and depressing topic of the discrimination Emilia faced as a Half-Elf and one who bore a resemblance to the infamous Witch of Envy, Satella, thanks to her silver hair and amethyst eyes, "When the pair have deep feelings for each other beyond physical attraction or are in long-term and happy relationships, such as two young lovers or a married couple, then that means they have a very high emotional compatibility with one another, and the whole thing is a lot happier and healthier as a whole. As for physical compatibility, I feel like that's something to explain when you feel like you would want to engage in such a thing." The maid smiled at her mistress. "Not that I discourage you in the least from ever desiring that, for it can indeed be a very beautiful experience, and there are steps that can be taken to ensure that you will not get pregnant as a result if you are not ready to bear a child."
Emilia nodded slowly and stood up. "Thank you both for taking the time to talk about this with me, " she said, her look of gratitude slowly turning to one of worry.
"But I still feel rather bad. I made Subaru go through all this for me, and I'm pretty sure that I gave him quite the scare when I first came to him about it." The beautiful girl appeared very concerned and ashamed. "What should I do?" she asked the two maids.
"Go and talk to him," replied Ram, with her trademark bluntness. "It was Barasu's idea for you to speak with us about this anyway, and considering how he was willing to blackmail me with the potential ramifications of your relationship collapsing if the matter wasn't resolved in a calm and orderly fashioned, I suppose he truly cares about making things work with you."
"Well that was a rather backhanded way of putting it," Frederica said nervously, as Emilia pondered just what the pink-haired demon meant by, "blackmail."
"But yes, Miss Emilia, it would be a good idea for you to talk things over with him. I'm sure he'll be very understanding about it, and he truly cares about you and deeply treasures your relationship, both for what it is now, and what it could be someday."
The silver-haired Half-Elf thanked them again and left the room in search of her friend. Ram slumped down on her couch and sighed loudly.
"Well, that was incredibly exhausting," she complained petulantly. "Barasu owes me a big favor for this, having to explain sex to a one-hundred-and-nineteen-year-old girl with the mind of a thirteen-year-old so that she's more likely to end up with him than my sister is."
"I don't think it's quite like that," her blonde friend commented diplomatically. "You really don't want Subaru to become your brother-in-law, do you?"
For her utterance of the forbidden three words describing a potential relationship with Subaru Natsuki, Frederica merely received a poisonous glare where the young man in question may have been at risk of castration.
Subaru was in the garden, chatting with Otto about a potential financial plan for Emilia's reign for when she would be selected as the new Queen of Lugunica when the young woman in question came running out of the still-being-restored mansion, looking a little out of breath.
"Oh, there you are Subaru!" she called out upon seeing him. "Could I talk to you in private for a minute?"
A big grin spread across the recently-knighted boy's face. He couldn't help it-the sight of Emilia, standing there in the moonlight like a faerie with her lovely silver hair, cute pointed ears, beautiful amethyst eyes, and fashionable clothing, always took his breath away, as he had told her so. Though at the time, Subaru remembered embarrassedly, that particular pick-up line-as with more than a few others-had been foiled by the cultural barrier between the world he had been born in and the world he now shared with her. At least Angel's aren't considered evil spirits in this world, he thought, though I wonder if I should check and see if they're giant monsters like in that one anime. If that's the case, my life might reach an even greater level of suck. The main character's life was hard enough without the constant cycle of resurrection I go through.
"Sure thing, Mili!" he replied, before turning to the green-clothed merchant. "Otto, could you give us some alone time? We'll talk about ways to handle the Merchant's Guild tomorrow. Maybe ask Ros for some advice, and I still have a few chips to call in with Anastasia's crowd."
His friend nodded. "Of course, Subaru," he yawned, "I just thought it was getting a little late to be having this discussion, and I have some work to do that I definitely need my rest for." Otto turned around, nodded to Emilia, and walked off, doubtless to grab a snack and wash his face before heading to bed.
That left the two young people alone with each other, and Emilia blushed a little. She still felt a little baffled and uncomfortable from Ram and Frederica's description of how children were actually made, and that the process itself wasn't strictly practiced purely for that purpose. That at least erased the worry she'd been feeling for the last couple of days about the "baby," that resulted from Subaru kissing her, but her other feeling's regarding the tender moment they'd shared were still very jumbled and confused. Now, on top of that, the idea that her knight might...desire her in that way felt even more confusing, somewhat disquieting...and maybe, just maybe, a little flattering.
The concept of loving someone in a manner different from a platonic or familial one was still very new to Emilia, and it constantly pinged around her mind. She'd known the love of parents, with her aunt Fortuna serving as the only mother she'd ever known and her father figures of Puck and Betelgeuse(she still found it hard to reconcile the recently-restored memories of the kind and caring "Juice," with the obsessive and fanatical Sin Archbishop Subaru and Julius had described to her after the battle with the Witches' Cult), and through Subaru, Ram, Frederica, the villagers, and the people of the Sanctuary, she'd come to learn what it meant to truly have friends.
But romantic love? The kind Subaru felt for her, the kind that married couples shared? That she had no idea of what it meant and had never really dreamed she'd be in a situation to experience for herself. When Roswaal had, correctly, as she realized in hindsight, pointed out that she would have to eventually get married at some point if she won the Royal Selection, if only to produce heirs to her bloodline and maybe form an alliance, Emilia had dismissed the notion out of hand. After all, in her mind, who would want to marry her, a despicable Half-Elf that looked like the Witch of Envy, even for the promise of sharing the power of the Crown? It had been depressing, but she'd born the weight of that seemingly unavoidable reality.
But then Subaru had come along, working tirelessly to help her, putting his life on the line for her, constantly trying to flirt with her, and she'd always wondered why. When she'd finally asked him, just before he'd carried away the exploding magic stones into the White Whale's corpse, he'd simply replied with; "Because I love you, Emilia," and from that point on, everything had changed, leading up to where they are now. She couldn't tell what exactly her feelings were for him, not yet anyway, but she could tell they were starting to get more intense.
"Mili," said Subaru, interrupting her reverie, "are you okay?"
Emilia perked up, realizing that he'd moved a lot closer while she'd been pondering things, and she felt her cheeks begin to burn again. Stop it, she remonstrated herself, calm down, you're just talking. It's not like he's going to start kissing me again or ask me to do the...other thing with him. Nope, definitely not.
"I-It's nothing, Subaru!" she spluttered, waving her hands in front of her face. "I was just...lost in thought."
The black-haired boy nodded in understanding, turning a little pink himself. "Yeah, I can get why you'd be that way," he said sheepishly. "Sex-Ed classes were a nightmare for me back in the day. Well, at least we've got the whole "baby," fiasco out of the way, right?"
Emilia nodded. "Yes, we do," she replied tentatively, before bowing in shame. "And I'm really sorry, Subaru! I put you through all that embarrassment just because I didn't know how babies are actually made! I am truly so-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy Emilia!" Subaru cried out, raising his hands in a calming gesture. "it's okay, really! You're not at fault for any of that. The only one who's earned my wrath for causing this mess would be your lazy father, Puck."
"Yeah, Frederica said you might blame him," Emilia remarked, a little sadly. The Great Spirit's necessary departure for her to pass the Trials of the Sanctuary still hurt, as he had cared for her and raised her since she'd been freed from the icy prison of Elior Forest. She hoped that this wouldn't strain his and Subaru's relationship, as the two of them had always gotten along very well.
The two teenagers made their way to the bench in the gardens and sat down to look up at the moon, in all its quiet and shining glory. However, even the silver beauty of the sun's twin could not distract them from the awkwardness of their situation forever.
"So...," the silver-haired Half-Elf beauty began tentatively, "The thing where...men and women make...babies," she blushed for the umpteenth time in the last hour. "Is it...something you w-would l-like to do w-with...?"
Subaru felt his face begin to burn as well. The thought of having sex with Emilia was one that had crossed his mind more than once in the months since he had been yanked out of Japan and plopped into the fantastical and dangerous world he now found himself in. The Royal Selection candidate was a truly beautiful woman, regardless of the racist slander people routinely hurled at her for her elven heritage and striking resemblance to the infamous Witch of Envy. Not just physically either, though Subaru had spent many a long hour fantasizing about her luxurious mane of silver hair, her jewel-like eyes, her pale, smooth skin, her supple thighs, and her generous chest. She was a truly selfless, brave, kind, and compassionate person, and Subaru had been smitten with her from the moment they had met. He would die for her and had one more than one occasion.
Subaru loved her so desperately it hurt. He wanted her, as his girlfriend, his lady, and someday his wife. But there were several complications to that. First of all, the secrets he couldn't tell her, such as the Return by Death he had been granted by Satella. The young man's heart still ached when he remembered what had happened to Emilia when, in a previous loop, he had tried to tell her the truth about his ability to go back in time upon death. Subaru felt rather peeved that he could get away with telling the truth to the spirit of Echidna, the knowledge-craving Witch of Greed who had managed the Trials of the Sanctuary, but still not be able to share it with the number 1 person in his heart.
The other issue facing a meaningful romantic relationship between the two was Emilia's own lack of maturity on the matter. For all of her skill as a Spirit Arts user and her status as someone who could be Queen of Lugunica one day, she was rather naive and dense when it came to certain things, though Subaru himself didn't blame her. He knew that, after the traumatic experiences of her childhood, Puck had purposefully sealed her memories away and had raised her in an extremely paternal fashion, until when she would be able to face her demons. She hadn't experienced much of the world outside of Elior forest until Roswaal had come a-knockin' to join the Royal Selection, and was just starting to come to terms with how it really worked. Which of course, he thought wryly, meant that this situation had come about.
"Well," the Japanese boy said slowly, raking his hand through his hair as he thought about how to put this, "I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about. I mean, I'm a boy! We think about these things all the time."
Emilia looked a little surprised. "Really?" she gasped nervously, "Do all young men think about these sorts of things?!"
"Sure, though not all of them may think about women when they imagine it," Subaru replied sheepishly. "I bet even prissy guys like Julius must think about sex sometimes, not that you'd ever get him to admit even if you asked him." After having a chuckle about the thought of the Royal Knight turning red and spluttering in denial at the suggestion he'd been ogling a pretty girl in a skimpy dress, his face turned serious.
"All joking aside, Mili," Subaru said, putting his hand atop his beloved, "While it's true that I would really like it if we were to make love, I also want you to want it and be comfortable doing it with me. I know it's too soon for you-we only just had our first kiss, after all-and you remember what I said about when I told you I love you?"
Emilia nodded and smiled wistfully at the memory of his heartfelt confession. "You said I could take my time figuring out my answer, and you were willing to wait."
Her would-be knight smiled and continued. "Right, and that still stands. I'm perfectly willing to wait until we're in a steady relationship, or engaged, or a married couple. I want you to be one hundred percent sure that it's what you yourself want, that it's me you love, and want to do this with, and that you can proceed with no regrets. Okay, Mili?"
The Half-Elf nodded gratefully. "Okay, Subaru," she said simply. "Thank you, for giving me time to figure things out. But let me say again, I'm sorry for embarrassing you with the baby thing."
"It's fine," Subaru once again reassured her. "I mean, it's something I would like to do with you someday, start a family and name our children together, but again-take your time. There's no rush at all, and not every person takes the same time to fall in love with another."
The mortifying debacle at last resolved, the young man and woman went to lie together on the grass, and when the maids found them sleeping together in the morning-much to Ram and Frederica's amusement, and the young Petra's jealous fuming-they couldn't have looked more at peace. A boy and a girl, experiencing the joys and trials of first love. enjoying the calm before the storm ahead. Which they would face together, no matter how many times it took, no matter how many enemies stood in their way, no matter how many obstacles impeded their path. They would continue, hand in hand, toward a bright future.
Ah, that was fun and sweet. This is probably the only Re: Zero fanfic I'm going to do for a while, but as the anime and light novels continue to come out, I'll keep my eye out for ideas and inspirations. I will also be continuing my other projects, of which there is one currently in development and a few I've yet to flesh out, and I hope to see all of you again real soon.