A/N: Hello all! I hope you've had a nice two or so years XD I came back this year and decided I would really like to finish this fic and my other one as well. I have no excuses and I hope you've all had a wonderful New Year's. Without any further delay here's the chapter. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think it's been a WHILE since I've written anything. Enjoy!
Emily POV
I slowly made my way out of the room trailing after Alison as I contemplated her words. You didn't do anything foolish or embarrassing last night. Never forget that. I want to accept what she said and move on, but something is stopping me. I'm shaken out of my thoughts by a slow and deliberate clap, which only further annoys my headache.
"Hanna if you love me you'll stop making that evil sound. Please?" I throw in a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes that I know work on all the girls, even Alison.
"Fine, I just thought after last night's show you deserved a small round of applause." She was smirking over what I assumed was coffee.
"Wait. Why are none you as hung over as me?" I groaned out walking into the kitchen and laying my head on the counter next to where Hanna was standing.
"Well, that tends to happen when you chug an almost full bottle of Bacardi." Spencer said giving me a small pat on the back. Finally remembering what Hanna said I emerge out of my self-made cavern to look at her. "What did you mean that I deserved a round of applause?"
"I really didn't think you had in you Em. That strip tease though…" Hanna trailed off. I shot up from the counter instantly regretting it as both my stomach and head spun. Once the kitchen was only spinning at a slight rate. I took the last of my energy to glare at Alison remembering her words.
"I was told I didn't do anything last night!" Looking at Alison I noticed a slight blush on her neck and cheek. What's that about?
"She's just messing with you Em." Aria supplied from her spot next to Spencer. "Well, at least about the strip tease. You did fall on your ass at least twice and did some interesting moves on the dance floor." She moves to an open space and begins twirling before doing a weird shimmy standing worm dance. The rest of the girls laugh at her antics.
"Please please please puuhleaase tell me you're joking." She just shakes her head with an apologetic look.
"That's it I'm dropping out. I'll get my G.E.D or maybe join my father in the marines-"A slap to back of my head stop anything further from coming out of my mouth. "What the hell Hanna!"
"Don't joke about that." Realizing what I said and how sensitive that topic is for us I just nodded and went back to pouting about my very public humiliation.
"If we're done with this really intriguing conversation we should be heading to school." Alison said in a bored tone raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at us. Ugh I don't have enough energy to deal with side of her so I walk away with a quick "I'll be in the shower" over my shoulder.
Once inside the shower I turn the hot water up and allow it to wash over me for a bit before I start washing myself. I finish feeling a lot better but still pretty crappy. Grabbing a towel and drying off I realize quite late that I didn't get any clothes to wear. The girls were still downstairs so it shouldn't be too big of a deal. I walk in to the guest room and search through the dresser for something to wear. We are here so often that we have a couple outfits here for when we spend the night.
Finding a black pair of jeans and a white V-neck I drop the towel and put on my underwear. I pick up the jeans prepared to put them on before the door opens surprising me and causing me to drop them on the floor.
"Emily how long are yo-"Alison came to an abrupt stop eyes wide and jaw dropped just a bit. I watch her eyes roam over my body stopping on my legs, abs, breast and finally my face. When her eyes finally met mine they were no longer the blue I fell in love with, but a smoldering and cloudy blue that I could just as easily fall for. The intensity of her stare sent a noticeable shudder through my body.
She shook her head a bit before coming into the room closing the door behind her. I was frozen as she stalked toward me as if I were her stunned prey. By the time she reached me I was using the dresser behind me to hold me up. I felt and saw the rapid rise and fall of my chest. Before I could even think to try and say something she dropped to the floor in front of me. We were so close I felt her breath on my thighs, I bit my lip harder at every puff. Clenching both my eyes and thighs at the sensation. Her breath started there and slowly began to rise up on my body. First puff on my thighs. Second puff just below my where my ache for had increased tenfold. Third right over my center. Fourth on my belly button. Fifth over my chest. Sixth over heart. Eighth on my neck before finally the last puff on my lips.
I was quivering in my spot and completely drenched. When I finally was able to crack my eyes open the sight that I met made me close them once more. Her eyes were completely blown. No blue in sight. She cleared he throat a couple of times before finally speaking. "You dropped this." Her voice had taken on a husky tenor as she gently grabbed my right arm before placing my jeans into my hand. Opening my eyes I saw she was looking at my lips I leaned forward to close the gap between us but she shook her head and stepped back. She looked at me one more time before walking out of the room. It took me a couple of minutes to catch my breath.
"Well fuck."
We arrive at school with five minutes to spare. The car ride over wasn't so bad since Alison decided to ride with Spencer and Aria instead of Hanna. It was quiet, which is not something I usually associate with Hanna but I didn't want to push her. When she was ready to talk about what she thinking she'll come to me.
We wait by the front of the school for Spencer, Aria and Alison to reach us. Looking around I saw I, thankfully, wasn't the only one nursing a hangover from Noel's party.
"Did you an Alison have a quickie before we left this morning?" Hanna said looking at me thoughtfully. I chocked on air and began coughing up a storm. Those around me gave me a weird look before moving on.
"What the fuck type of question was that Han?"
"When Alison came back from getting you, which she volunteered to do by the way, she seemed out of breath and really red." She tilted her head to the side before continuing "She was still really bitchy so you might have to work on your technique." I look around quickly to make sure no one was paying attention to us before pulling Hanna closer to a secluded spot by the corner of the doors.
"Will you please be quiet anyone could hear you." She looked a bit guilty at that but before she respond I continued in a whisper "And no Alison and I didn't have sex we've never even kissed! She'll-she-sh-look Han Alison will never like me like that. Sometimes it feels like she might-." In the corner of my eyes I see Spencer and Aria making their way over to us.
"Can we talk about this later?" She nods before pulling me into a tight hug. I sigh and relax into the embrace.
"What's going on here?" Spencer says as she and Aria reach us.
"Nothing much. Just letting Emily cop a feel before class." We all sigh and roll our eyes.
"What? Too soon?"
Noticing we were missing a member of our group I look over at Aria and Spencer "Where's Alison?" Aria was the one to answer with a pointed finger in the direction of the parking lot. Leaning on a car was Alison with Noel draped over her. Seeing enough to last me a life time I just nod before turning and heading into the school. Hanna grabbed my arm was about to say something but the bell rung signaling the beginning of class.
"I'm fine I'll catch up with you guys later" walking off before anyone could respond.
The day went by pretty fast and before I knew it the bell rung signaling lunch. With a sigh I walked toward the cafeteria. Hanna, Spence and Aria were all at our usual table. I took my seat beside Hanna and began munching on some fries.
"-and then Eleven used her telekleptic powers and blew it up." Hanna finished stuffing some mac cheese into her mouth.
"It's telekinetic powers Han and I told you not to discuss that since I haven't finished the season yet." Spence said over her history book.
"I wasn't talking to you I was talking to Aria, but being the amazing and lovely friend that I am I will change the subject. Any new shows Aria? Or steamy Ezria details?" She began wiggling her eyebrows in a rather unpleasant fashion.
"Ezria?"
"Yeah that's your ship name."
"Um ok, actually" Hanna perked up with a large smile on her face only to lose it a second later when Aria finished off with "I just started this show called The 100. It's about a-" I zone out a bit as Aria talks about the show though it sounds pretty interesting so I make a mental note to look it up. My gaze wanders past Aria and my heart stops. Alison is sitting at Noels table with his arm around her. She's "laughing" at something he says. She looks up, our eyes meet and her face shifts into something I can only describe as softer and then regretful before breaking our gaze and returning to her conversation. Unable to help myself I speak up "So they're a thing now?"
"Who?" Hanna says. Clenching my jaw I nod to Alison and Noel.
"Oh them. Their something. I wouldn't exactly call them a couple more like a means of convenience."
"And what does that mean exactly?" Spencer says putting down her textbook.
"Oh I do enjoy educating our dearest Spencer in the ways of teenage social interactions."
"Hey! I got Toby just fine."
"Well that doesn't count since he's dorky and your dorky. He knows random facts about stuff. You know random facts about stuff. He's-"Spencer threw a piece of lettuce stopping whatever she had planned next to say.
"Really Spence, lettuce?" She flicked the offensive piece of lettuce away from her tray. "At least throw something good." Spencer picks up a french-fry covered in ketchup ready to throw it before Aria pipes up from her seat.
"Why don't we go back to the discussion at hand."
"What? Spencer and her social ineptiveness!"
"Again Hanna that is not a word and-"
"GUYS!" I pipe up from my seat. A couple of people look our way. I give them a small smile before moving closer to the table. "So what's going on between Alison and Noel?"
"Well, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted Alison and Noel are what we call a couple of convenience. Not so much that they like each other but that they're both extremely popular and therefore any relationship they have together would make them even more popular." I take a couple of minutes to digest the information before responding.
"Good for her I guess."
"Em-"
"No Han. This is obviously what she wants and she's getting it." Hanna gave me a remorseful look before laying her head on my shoulder.
"Are we missing something?" Aria says from her seat.
"No, there's nothing to talk about." I reassure her and assert to myself. Sensing a tone of finality we begin to talk about trivial things until the end of lunch.
The rest of the day went pretty much the way it started, in a blur. When I finally snapped back into reality we were all by Hanna's locker. Aria and Spencer were talking about the assignment that Ezra gave in class. Feeling a light pressure on my arm I see Hanna give me a reassuring smile. I try to return it but based on the look that graced her face I didn't do a good job at it.
"Emily!" A voice calls from across the hall. I look to see the girls from the swim team standing in their swim sweats. "Hurry up and get changed the meets in an hour." Another girl calls before they head towards the gym.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" I hit my head on the locker behind me. I been so focused on Alison and this hangover that I forgot we had a meet today. Why did I go to that party? I'm definitely not at my best and if I lose I'll get more shit from Coach, the girls on the team, and my mom will give me lecture about taking swimming more seriously if I want a scholarship.
My breathing starts to increase, though I don't feel like I'm sucking in any air and my heart starts to race. "Fuck." I say again but it barely comes out more than a breathy whisper. The outer parts of my vision starts to darken.
"Em are you okay?" I hear a voice say but I couldn't really distinguish who said it.
"I think she's having a panic attack guys." I feel someone lead me somewhere quieter. I keep trying but I can't seem to catch my breath. Someone cups my face, turning it until I'm looking directly into Spencer's eyes.
"Okay Emily I want you to focus on my voice. Can you do that?" I try to give a little nod. I'm not really sure it comes out that way but I guess she understood as she nods or at least I think she did.
"Alright, I want you to follow me ok. One, two, three in and one, two, three, four out." I tried to follow her but it came out more like gasps. "That's ok Em take your time. I'm right here. Let's try again." I grab her hand tightly and squeeze with every staggered breath I take. She doesn't complain about how tight I'm holding her hand only squeezes back just as tightly. She repeats this over and over until I'm breathing a bit more normal. The darkness around my eyes slowly starts to fade and I finally take in our surroundings. We're in an empty classroom. Spencer is right in front of me trying to get me to take more steady breaths. Aria is standing a bit further away holding a crying Hanna in her arms. I want to reassure her that I'm okay. That the worst of it is over, but most of my attention was still on breathing.
I don't know how long we stood there, but when I finally felt a bit better I released my tight grasp on Spencer and made my way slowly to a desk.
"Are you okay now Em?" Spencer asks rubbing soothing circles on my back. I give her an embarrassed smile before responding. "Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I guess everything just built up and I don't know. I'm so embarr-"
"Hey" she cuts me off "it's okay, really." I give her a thankful smile before looking back over at Hanna to see her shoulders still shaking and tears still streaming down her face. I slowly get up and make my way over to her.
"Han I'm okay." I say soothingly before gently taking her out of Aria's grasp and into one of my own. "It's okay Hannabanna. I just got a little overwhelmed." She nods, takes a step back and begins to wipe at her face.
"I'm sorry I don't know why I reacted like that."
"If I don't have to apologize for my reaction you certainly don't have to apologize for yours." I wipe one last stray tear and give her my best reassuring Emily look or at least that's what she likes to call it. Looking past her to the clock on the wall I see that I only have ten minutes to get to the gym, get ready, and try to avoid coach screaming at me. My chests starts to constrict again, but I take a slow and steady breath.
"Thank you guys for everything, but I really need to run to the gym to make the meet." I turn to go only to feel a tight grip on my shoulder. I turn around to see Spencer.
"No way Em! You just had a panic attack. Your still pale and can barely stand up straight." I did feel extremely tired, but I knew the team and everyone was counting on me to win this meet.
"Spence I have to go, if I don't Coach and everyone on the team will blame me if we lose."
"Well tell them to go fuck themselves and practice more." Hanna said as she and Aria came to stand on either side of me as if ready to catch me if I try to make a run for it. Before I could respond Spencer beats me to it.
"Look Em I'll talk to the coach. My family donates a lot of money to the sport program here so she'll listen to me." I try to argue but Hanna starts to pull me out of the room and towards the entrance of the school.
"Fine" I sigh out knowing there was no way to convince them to let me go "I'll go home."
Aria and Spencer walk us to Hanna's car each giving me a hug with a "Feel better" before we're off to my house. Hanna tries to lighten the mood by trying to sing Havana. I couldn't help but laugh when she got to the rap part because she barely knew the words. Sooner than I expected we pulled up to my house. I saw her turn off the car and start to get out so I grab her arm to get her attention.
"Han, I think I just want to be alone right now."
"Em no way! After what just happened I don't want to leave you alone."
"I promise that I'm okay and if anything happens I will text you." She still didn't look convinced. "Please Han I just need some time." She sighs and reluctantly puts her seatbelt back on.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" She said still looking concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll just grab some food and head to bed." She nods but had a weird expression on her face almost angry. I get out of the car only to get back in and give her a tight hug with a whispered "Thanks Han". I get out, close the door and walk into my house. As the door shuts the quiet atmosphere surrounds me meaning my mom has yet to get back from work. I go upstairs to my room to change into some comfortable clothes. Once done I tuck myself into the corner of my window seat. I don't know how long I sat there just staring at the landscape below my window only that now it was dark outside. I blink a couple of times and notice for the first time that I had been crying. This realization only seems to spur on my tears as my eyes become blurry as one tear falls then another and another until I'm full on sobbing.
A KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on my bedroom door interrupts me mid sob turning it into a shaky hiccup. I tried to steady myself and ask who it is but the lump in my throat seemed too large to try and talk over. I start to cry again not hearing the door open or the footsteps approach me. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I knew instantly who it was. Because there was only one person whose arms felt like home. And I hate her for it. But I can't help but love her for it as well. Finally pulling back, after what seemed like an eternity yet still not long enough, I look into the bluest eyes I've ever seen.
"Alison."
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