A/N: Hello guys! I would just like to think everyone who reviewed last chapter and told me their thoughts. As well as those who followed/favorited the story. I'm happy you seem to be enjoying it. Like always please leave a review to let me know what you thought of this chapter and enjoy!

Trigger warning: There is a brief allusion to self-harm and a bit of violence (abuse) at the end.

Song: Andrew Belle – In my Veins

Emily POV

"Alison"

I look into her beautiful blue eyes and find comfort for just a second before remembering she's part of the reason I'm feeling this way. I try to pull away from her embrace but her arms only seem to tighten more around me.

"Let go." I manage to grunt out through my tears.

"No." She said through clenched teeth.

"ALISON LET GO!"

"NO!" Her voice shook me to the core. Not only because of how it resonated through me but because of the underlining hurt I heard within it. I stop my struggling to look at her again and found myself struck by the picture in front of me. She was crying. It was hard to make out through the haze of my own tears but the sparkle of her eyes as the tears left taking her makeup with them and even the running of her nose as she sniffled to try and prevent it from doing so all made its way through the fog. I saw another batch of tears make their way down her face and couldn't help but reach up to wipe them away, but as soon as one was pushed away by my thumb another came to replace it. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't want to make her feel better, especially not in this moment. But, and there was always a but when it came to Alison. She bullies someone, but deep down I know she's a great person. She flirts with me only to yell at me later when I do the same, but she makes you feel special. You want to hate her, but you love her too much to try. You should tell her to leave, but you know you won't. So I settle for "What are you doing here Alison?" She sniffled a bit more as she responded.

"Hanna stormed into my house and basically yelled at me. She's never talked to me that way before so I knew it was serious. She told me about what happened at school." I don't think I've ever heard her voice so quiet. "She said it was my fault. And she was right."

"Ali I-"

"No Em she was right. I know how you feel ab-"

"SHE TOLD YOU!" I jump out of our current position to stand. I walk towards the door with the full intention of heading to Hanna's house to give her a piece of my mind before a hand on my arm stops me and turns me around.

"She didn't tell me Em. You did."

"What when would I have…"

You didn't do anything foolish or embarrassing last night. Never forget that.

"That's what you meant. What you said when I woke up. I told you how I felt about you." I cover my face with my hands and groan.

"Not only with your words." She mumbled but I still heard.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Look-" cutting me off from asking any further questions "-what Hanna said about me causing you to have that… episode at school. Was she right? Was it my fault?"

"Ali-"

"No Em I want to know." Looking into to her determined red rimmed blue eyes I could only nod before replying with a broken "Yeah, but not only you. The meet was today and I didn't realize and it just all got to me."

"What exactly did I do?"

"It was nothing, really." I try to play it off.

"Emily." I gave a long sigh before responding.

"I saw you with Noel." She didn't look too surprised at my answer only nodded as if she were confirming something she already knew, which raised my own suspicions.

"Did Hanna tell you?"

"No, but you know Hanna she's not very subtle. Words such as unloyal hoe were used so it didn't take long to understand what she meant." I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the image of Hanna calling Alison an unloyal hoe that popped into my head. Alison's lips quirked up before turning into a full blown smile.

"I missed hearing that today." And just like that everything came rushing back.

"You can't say stuff like that Alison."

"Why not Em we're friends and I care about you. You know that." She says earnestly.

"When you say stuff like that Alison it doesn't make me want to stay friends with you. It makes me want more." I said surprising myself at my own honesty. But at this point she already knows and I'm too tired to care.

"Em-"

"I know Alison. You could never love me or be with me that way."

"That's the problem Em. You're kind of hard not to fall for." My heart stopped. It had to because only in death in some version of heaven would I ever hear such words slip out of her mouth.

"But, you're right. I can't be with you Em." Nope, still on earth. "I can't-I-I just-I just can't and I know that's a lousy answer and I know that it probably makes you hate me more-"

"I could never hate you Alison." Though her words stung more than I was willing to let on while she was still in the room. She gave me such a broken, yet still somehow beautiful, smile.

"And you wonder how I could lo-"She took a deep breathe before continuing "I'm sorry Em. I know you wanted more from me. I just can't give it to you." I felt the tears return to my eyes blurring her image. The lump in my throat came back with a vengeance.

"I should go. I just-I wanted-I-I-" Her voice cracked a couple of more times before she was able to finish "I needed to make sure you were okay and that you knew I was sorry. I really am." It sounded like she was crying again though all I could see through my tears was a blob in front of me. I nodded my head and a traitorous tear escaped. She squeezed my arm and I realized her hand had been there the whole time. It just felt natural. After one last squeeze she left.

I head back to the window and wait a couple of minutes before I finally see her walk outside to her car. She stopped looked back up at my window we stay like that for I don't know how long before she turns around, gets into her car and drive off. I stand there for a while longer before heading to sit down onto my bed next to my nightstand. My eyes latch onto to the first draw and before I could stop myself I open it and feel inside for the small hidden panel. Once open I feel the smoothness of the wood under my fingertips. Thoughts about the days when a small sharp metal object that used to reside there immediately enter my mind and I snatch my hand out of the drawer.

I clenched my eyes shut as I take deep breath and another and another. Tears escape my eyes but I pay no attention to them until the thoughts recede to the back of my mind. After a couple of minutes I open my eyes and let out a shaky sigh. Out of the corner of my eye I see the metal reflection of the tuning knobs of my guitar, which leaned against the nightstand. I reach my arm out and my hand wraps around the neck of my guitar. I strum a few chords hoping it would make me feel anything other than the despair I was feeling. I do this for a bit before beginning a song I had just recently learned. I clear my throat trying to get rid of the lump that had taken residence there and start to sing:

"Nothin' goes as planned.
Everything will break.
People say goodbye.
In their own special way.
All that you rely on
And all that you can fake
Will leave you in the morning
But find you in the day

Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out.

My voice began to crack as I finished the chorus.

Everything will change.
Nothin' stays the same.
And nobody here's perfect.
Oh but everyone's to blame
All that you rely on
And all that you can save
Will leave you in the morning
And find you in the day

Oh you're in my veins

And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out.

No I cannot get you out.
No I cannot get you.

Oh no I cannot get you out.
No I cannot get you.

By the time I reached this part of the song I was mostly crying the words rather than singing them.

Everything is dark.
It's more than you can take.
But you catch a glimpse of sun light.

Shinin' shinin', down on your face.
Your face, oh your face

Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you"

I put my guitar down and go and fall back onto my bed. I grab my pillow and curl around it hoping that by morning everything will be alright. But I knew it wouldn't.

Alison POV

The drive back home was a complete blur. As I walk toward the door I see that that our living room light is on. I take a steady breath and carefully try to build the walls in my mind back up, though I'm not entirely sure I succeeded. I let my face take on a cold and indifferent look as I go inside.

"Where have you been!?" My mother's cold tone.

"I was out." I say as I try to get past her to walk up to my room only to feel hands grip my upper arms and throw me into the wall. Before I could move she put her hand around my throat and pinning me to the wall.

"You ungrateful bitch. I made you into everything you are today and this is how you think me. You think now that you are on top in that little high school of yours that it means anything." She squeezes tighter and I couldn't help the lone tear that leaked out of the corner of my eyes.

"Aww poor Alison." Her tone was anything but caring. "You are so pathetic. Look at you. If it wasn't for the fact that you came out me I would never think someone as disgusting as you could be my child." She slammed me into the wall one more time before walking away. I stare after her for who knows how long before walking out the front door and heading next door to Spencer's barn. I find her sitting on the couch with Aria watching some movie.

"Ali, what are you doing here?" Spencer said standing up and walking over to me. And I really didn't know. I just didn't want to be alone. Usually when I felt like this I could go to Emily and she'd make everything better. But I ruined that like I ruin everything else.

Once she got in front of me she became more tentative and soft. Something I've never seen from Spencer. And whose fault is that.

"Is everything alright?" I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was everything with Emily and my mom or hearing about how Spencer took care of Emily back at school. I only knew that one second I had my arms on my side the next second I pulled Spencer into a hug and began to cry for the billionth time that day.

"Ali what's wrong?" Aria's voice chimed in as she came to stand next to us. I tried to open my mouth but the only thing that was released was a sob. "Ali it's okay. You're okay." She said as she began to rub her hand up and down my back. Spencer held me a little bit tighter though it couldn't compare at all to the way it felt to be in Emily's arms. In her arms I felt like I was home.

A/N: So I wanted to give you guys a bit of what was going on with Ali. We'll get more into it and her thinking as well. Please leave a review and let me know what you're thinking. As always have a beautiful day or night depending on where you're from. Where are you guys from actually? I happen to be a girl from the USA who likes to tell corny jokes like this:

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

To find himself.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no….. Okay I'll just go.