Prompt: "Here." "What's this?" "It's a pregnancy test. Take it."
She had to be in denial. There was no way that she could not see what was going on. She was a doctor for crying out loud. A good doctor. Who knew the signs and symptoms, and had just spent the past fourteen hours beside a young girl giving birth to her premature baby in prison. It was like the universe had erected a large billboard that said, "You're Pregnant" in order to capture her attention.
It wasn't just today either. No, if they're being honest, Bailey and Arizona had noticed some things that others may have overlooked or attributed to stress. Arizona was a fetal surgeon, she was surrounded by pregnant women all day, she could identify them with ease. And Bailey was just Bailey. As Chief of Surgery, she knew everything that was going on in her hospital. Her observant eyes had noticed the small changes such as fatigue, rounder face, nausea, back pain, headaches, and just today, the tiniest bump on the young resident's figure. The only one who seemed to not notice was the woman herself. Jo Wilson was pregnant. There was no doubt in Bailey or Arizona's minds. The problem now, was getting her to admit it.
The hardest part about this whole thing was the circumstances that Wilson found herself under. Bailey knew she had to tell Jo about what Alex was going to do. Jo deserved to know. She had the right to know. After all, everything Alex had done had been with Jo in mind. It amazed Bailey to think about just how far Alex was willing to go for the woman he loved. As if beating the man he thought was taking advantage of his girlfriend wasn't enough, now he was willing to go to prison for Jo to protect her.
Mind made up, Bailey turned from her seat, settling a hand on Jo's thigh as she began to speak, "You were right… stuff does happen to people."
"No, no I don't wanna be right."
"Karev came to me last night, he told me that-," Jo's desperate voice cut Bailey off, the sound of it breaking her heart as she watched tears spring to the young woman's eyes.
"I don't wanna be right! For God's sake, I don't wanna be right," Jo pushed Bailey's hand off of her leg and then wiped at her wet cheeks, eyes moving to look out the window. "I want there to be something good. I want the world to be good. For once, I want to see sun and… and happy. For once, I want to be wrong. So just stop talking."
A brief silence fell over the three women, only lifting when Arizona gently encouraged Bailey to keep talking. With a shaky breath, she finished her statement, "Alex went to the D.A. and took a plea bargain. He's going to prison."
Arizona asked Bailey questions, which she could vaguely hear herself answer, but her eyes were on the rear view mirror and her perfect view of Jo. Jo, whose eyes are blown wide with fear, who's hand was pressed to her mouth in shock, who even in the dim car lighting looked a few shades paler than a moment ago.
"Stop the car," Jo heaved a deep breath. Her eyes began to water, she needed to get out of the car. "Stop the car. I'm gonna be sick."
As soon as the car came to a stop, Jo jumped up from her seat and rushed out behind the car. Instantly, she felt all the contents of her stomach come up violently. Arizona and Bailey shared a look of sympathy, wishing that things hadn't played out the way they did. Jo didn't deserve this, neither did Alex.
Jo took a second to collect herself before entering the car, "Let's go."
"You okay?," Arizona asked as she eyed Jo.
"Drive the car," tears were still streaming down Jo's cheeks as she settled back into her seat, a hand pressed firmly to her chest as if it could stop the erratic rhythm of her heart. "Drive the damn car!"
The tension in the car was thick, Arizona keeping her eyes on the road as she tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. Quiet sobs were sounding from Jo in the backseat as she tried unsuccessfully to muffle the sound. Bailey knew that her job was only half done though, prompting her to ask Arizona to pull into the next gas station they saw.
"You know he loves you," Arizona mused as she watched Bailey walk into the convenience store. "I'm sure he had a perfectly good reason for doing what he did."
"Please, Arizona, I don't want to talk about this right now," Jo frowned as she looked out the window. "This is all my fault and I just… I can't do this right now."
Arizona nodded and let go of the conversation. It hurt to see Jo this sad. Normally, she was vibrant, sarcastic, and witty. When she'd been living with Alex and Jo, Arizona could always expect to hear Jo's distinct peels of laughter echoing off the walls. It was easy to see why Alex fell for her. It was easy to see why he loved her. Arizona knew that Jo had had a hard life, but it never stole her joy. Right now though, it was as if that brightness had been stolen. Finding out about Alex's fate had crushed the little bit of light she had left in her.
Turning around from her spot in the driver's seat, Arizona looked at Jo who was still staring aimlessly out the window. She placed her hand on Jo's knee and gave it a light squeeze. She then took one of Jo's hands in her own and repeated that same action. That's all she needed to do before Jo finally released the sobs that had been bubbling under the surface.
"He's going to prison, he's risking everything he's worked so hard for and and," Jo sucked a deep breath in before meeting Arizona's gaze. "It's my fault! He's doing this because of me, because I was too scared to testify. He's ruining his life because I couldn't-"
Jo began to gasp for air, her chest heaving as she tried to get air into her lungs. She began hyperventilating, so Arizona put both hands on Jo's shoulders, "Jo. Look at me. Hey, I need you to breath. Take some deep breaths for me, okay?"
"It's all my fault. I love him and I messed it up. I always mess it up," Jo inhaled deeply. "I miss him, so much. I don't want to do this without him. I don't want to work at the hospital without him. I don't want to live in the loft without him. I want to do everything with him. But I threw it down the drain. I ruined it, I ruined him."
"I know it seems like everything is falling apart right now, but I need you to breathe for me," Arizona squeezed Jo's hand and rubbed circles on it.
"I can't… I can't breathe," Jo cried. "I can't breathe without him."
"Yes you can," Arizona nodded at Jo. She took both of Jo's hands in her own and looked her right in the eyes. "You are a strong, tough, independent, loving young woman. You can do this. You can breathe, and you will breathe. I know it hurts like hell trying to breathe without him, trust me, I get it. But, you can do it. Breathe. In and out."
By the time Jo finally caught her breath, Bailey had returned to the car. Jo was grateful that Bailey wasn't present for the meltdown she just experienced. It was bad enough crying in front of Arizona. She didn't need to ball her eyes out and look anymore foolish in front of the chief of surgery.
Bailey sat back down in the passenger seat and began handing out the snacks that she'd purchased for everyone. After giving her a water bottle, Bailey handed Jo a plastic bag with something rectangular inside.
"What's this?" Jo looked up at her superior.
Bailey shared a glance with Arizona before looking back at the resident, "It's a pregnancy test. Take it."
Jo's eyes widened, "Excuse me?"
"Wilson, don't act like you don't know what's going on. I don't know if you're in denial or if you really just haven't noticed, but you're showing all the symptoms. We've been observing you for the past couple of weeks and this has got to stop. So you're going to go inside the convenience store, ask for a bathroom and take the test," Bailey stared Jo down, daring her to protest.
Jo opened the bag and sure enough, there was a box that had two pregnancy tests inside. She took a sharp breath in, a fresh round of tears welling in her eyes, "I… We talked about this—about having babies. He wanted to make a baby, I said to wait a little while longer, but honestly I would've been fine with it either way. I never thought about kids before. It always seemed so far away. But it was always different with Alex. I wanted it. I want it. Just… not like this."
Before she could begin to well and truly cry again, Jo excused herself and jogged into the convenience store. Both Bailey and Arizona let out loud sighs and they leaned back in their seats.
"Well… we've still got 30 minutes until we hit Seattle," Arizona checked the clock on the radio, turning to face Bailey. "This should be an interesting ride back home."
A few minutes later, Jo opened the car door and sat down. Bailey and Arizona looked at her expectantly. Jo sighed, "I took the test, but I didn't look at it… I don't want to look at it alone."
Bailey looked at her sympathetically and stretched out her hand, "You are not alone. Arizona and I are both here with you. So no matter what happens, no matter what you decide, we're here for you."
Nodding quietly, Jo reached back into the bag for the tests. She picked them up and sucked in a large breath as she turned them over. Jo felt her eyes water at the results. She let out a small whimper and turned the test around to show the other women in the car. She watched their eyes take in the results and heard Arizona's slight gasp.
It was true. All of the things she tried so hard to ignore, all of the signs she'd tried to write off as products of stress, could no longer be ignored. As much as she tried to will it not to be true, there was no escaping this. She was pregnant.
Hearing that Alex was safe may have been the best news Jo had ever received in her life. She had spent the last couple days trying to come to term with the fact that Alex had gone to prison for her and that she was going to be a single mother. She looked up all of the prison facilities in the area and began scouring their databases and making calls to try to locate him. Jo figured that she could at least tell Alex that he was going to be a father. She wanted to tell him that they would visit.
So when she found out that he was okay, she cried. She cried for about an hour before driving to Meredith's house. It had been 20 minutes since Jo had pulled up outside of Meredith's house. She had been sitting in the front seat frozen in an odd combination of relief and fear. She wanted nothing more than to run inside and hold Alex in her arms for hours on end. But the knot in her stomach and the rising nausea made her pause.
They'd only talked about this once, briefly at that. And it was before everything they'd built had blown to shit. What if Alex was upset? What if he didn't even want to be with her after all the shit she'd caused? What if he didn't want this baby? Jo shook her head, vanishing the thoughts from her mind. Alex wasn't like that, he never was and never would be. And if there was one thing that was obvious, it was that he loved her. He'd risked a prison sentence to protect her secrets for god's sake.
Finally fed up with herself, Jo exited the car and walked up the front steps to knock on the door before she could talk herself out of it. Her eyes wandered from her feet to the porch lamp to her hands, anywhere but at the door that she was praying would open. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door opened.
Their eyes meet, for almost too long she thinks, as they take each other fully in for the first time in much too long.
He looked worn down, his beard more scruffy than the last time she'd seen him. Jo could tell just by looking at Alex that he hadn't slept well in a long while. Jo hoped he didn't notice how tired she herself was, how pale her skin had become because she couldn't keep anything besides water down. Of course he did, she knew he did because he knew her better than anyone else. Alex was staring at her with a look that screamed concern, obviously catching on to the fact that something was off about her.
Ignoring his worry, Jo stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Alex's shoulders. Her eyes shut, holding back tears as she held him tight against her. She could feel him breathe out a sigh of relief, one hand coming up to hold her just as tightly as she was clinging onto him.
"Alex," her voice came out impossibly quiet, she's not even sure if she was speaking out loud or to herself. She knows if she speaks again, her voice will crack and she'll begin to cry, so she does the only thing she can think to do. She grabs Alex's hand in her own and places it on the swell of her stomach that she'd tried so desperately to ignore the past week and a half by covering it up and telling herself that it was just water retention.
Alex let out a sharp breath, fingers curling against her rounded stomach as he held her in his arms. Relief flooded her body, Jo finally letting her tears flow as she held Alex close to her. She couldn't tell if she was happy or sad or just emotional about finally telling him, but he was here. He was safe and not going anywhere.
After a long minute, Alex pulled back and looked into Jo's eyes, his hands coming up to cradle her face. She knew tears were still falling from her eyes, but he looked so relieved that she couldn't find it in herself to care too much. He placed his forehead against hers and gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks. He pressed light kisses on her forehead, nose, and cheeks, leaving Jo a crying mess.
She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve this. Alex deserved so much better than her. He'd had enough crazy and complicated to last a lifetime. He deserved someone normal and nice. She wasn't worth all this trouble.
"Hey, stop that. Don't ever say that again. You are worth everything and more," Alex looked deeply into her eyes.
Jo's eyes widened, "I said that out loud?"
"Yeah," Alex's face twitched slightly. He took a deep breath and frowned. "I meant what I said, Jo. You are not trash. You don't deserve to be tossed away. You don't deserve to be forgotten, or mistreated, or abused. You don't deserve any of that. I love you, I always will, and the least I can do is prove that by showing you just how special you are."
"I love you so much it hurts," Jo cried, shocked by the emotion in her voice. She'd chalked the near constant tears in her eyes lately up to another unavoidable pregnancy symptom. "I was so scared, I was scared that you had ruined your life for me."
"I'd do it all over again, if it meant that you'd be safe," Alex admitted, his fingers brushing away her tears again. "I'd do anything for you, Jo."
"I know," Jo swallowed her tears, finally looking up at Alex with the smallest of grins on her face. "We made a baby."
"Yeah," Alex's eyes watered and he let out a soft laugh. "We did."
One of Alex's hands floated down from her cheek to her stomach again, fingers splaying over the swollen skin as a grin grew on his own face. The excited look made Jo wonder why she'd ever doubted his reaction to their unexpected news. Pressing another kiss to her forehead, Alex spoke again, "How long have you known? Must be a while, right? I mean, you're already showing."
"Just a few days actually," Jo blushed and ducked her head down as Alex chuckled at her answer. "I was in denial! I thought I was stressed and everytime I even began to think I might be, I pushed it off. Even when the bump came in I told myself I was just gaining weight from the stress eating. Bailey and Arizona were so fed up with my ignorance that they made me take a test, finally."
"Have you made an appointment yet?" Alex asked.
"No. I haven't really had time. I was thinking of just asking Arizona to do it just so that I could keep it under wraps as long as possible," Jo replied, pressing her face into Alex's chest. "Things are… complicated and I just don't feel like being the center of even more gossip."
Alex looked down sadly, "I know I messed a lot of things up and I hurt a lot of people, especially you. You saw me at my worst, something I never wanted you to see. You saw me blow up and get angry and hurt someone. I can't imagine what seeing that must have felt like for you, but Jo you have to know that I would never hurt you or our baby. I don't know if you want to be with me or if you just want to raise the baby together, but I swear to God I will do everything in my power to win back your trust."
"I know," Jo closed her eyes and nodded slightly. "I'm not ready to be with you just yet, but I love you and I know that you won't hurt us. I need to process some things before we get back to where we were."
"I understand," Alex sighed and tried his best to keep the tears down. "I love you."
"I love you too," Jo pulled Alex in for another long hug. They stood there in each other's embrace for a little while before Jo finally let go. She gave him one last longing stare before walking away. Alex had entered the house and was about to close the door when Jo spoke up again. "You know, I haven't been sleeping well. I'm scared to be alone. I could really use my best friend right now."
Smiling in understanding, Alex opened the door, "Do you want to stay here tonight? We can sleep on the couch. It'll be just like old times—minus the beers of course."
Jo laughed, "Yeah, I'd like that."