Sixteen

Christmas Eve

Killian somehow finds himself more nervous than Smee is as they drive away from the Portland airport on their way to Storybrooke.

Smee mutters to himself, driving roughly ten under the speed limit because he's nervous being on American roads. The effort is costing them time, but Killian knows it wouldn't do him any good to ask Smee to push any harder than he is. The man had practically had a breakdown on the plane before they took off.

"Do you think Emma will be there?" Killian asks.

The question has plagued him for practically the entire trip. While it makes sense that she would be home, in Storybrooke, another part of him knows that this is an uncertain mission. She might be somewhere else entirely.

"Well," Smee replies thoughtfully, "it's Christmas Eve. I would think she'd be home. Wouldn't you?"

Killian takes a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He holds in his hand the address Smee had been hiding from him, chicken scratch on a bright yellow post-it note.

He hasn't given much thought to what his new life would look like. Maybe it's for the best that he hasn't been able to. When he makes it to Storybrooke, and he's reunited with Emma and Henry, he imagines it will all fall into place.

Hopefully, that would happen sooner rather than later.

"I don't know."

Smee glances over at him very briefly a few times. "If she isn't, we'll just keep looking. I'm sure there will at least be someone who might know something… we'll follow the trail until you're with her again. I know how much she means to you."

Killian looks out his window, teeth digging into his upper lip. "But does she know?"

Smee doesn't have an answer for him, but Killian doesn't need one.

His anxiety about seeing Emma again is something he hopes is without basis. They'd spent far too much time apart, but no one was to blame for that.

There would never have been a way Emma could have found him, unless she was able to get in touch with Smee. Smee, who still only uses a landline because he worries the cell phone will damage his brain cells- or something like that.

It would have been impossible. Or, at least, very nearly impossible.

Sighing, Killian stretches his legs out as much as he can in the cramped front seat. He closes his eyes, focusing on something hopeful: soon, he'll be with Emma and Henry again.

"Do you feel alright? Do you need your medicine?"

"No, I feel fine." Killian opens his eyes, looking at Smee. "Thank you. You didn't have to stick with me all that time, and coming to America on an uncertain quest…"

Smee smiles. "That's what friends are for."

/

Storybrooke is not on the map that they'd found at the airport. It's not even on the map at the first few visitor's centers they stop at.

Thankfully, they'd been able to find someone at a gas station who gave them a general direction to move towards. After that, it had been a game of watching the road signs until they finally spotted one that claimed Storybrooke was twenty miles away.

The town is sleepy. Covered in fresh snowfall, the evening sun has colored the skies a soft orange and pink. The buildings lining Main Street sit idle, with hardly anybody moving to and fro. It's calm and quiet, a solace he hadn't thought he'd find.

"Where should we go first, do you think?" Smee asks nervously. "Is that a diner up ahead?"

Killian spots the neon sign that reads "Granny's Diner" shining at them from the side of the road as if it's an oasis in the desert.

"I know we should probably go to the address there, but, I'm starving, Jones."

Killian nods. "Aye. Let's pull off for a meal. Perhaps while we're there we can ask for directions. I think I remember Emma saying this was her favorite place to eat."

Smee hums thoughtfully. He pulls into a parking spot across the street from the establishment and Killian stares out at it, nervousness tickling at his belly.

"You alright?"

He turns to his friend, nodding. "Aye. Just… really hoping she's in town."

Smee offers him a gentle smile. "Like I said before. We'll find her, even if this is just a stop along the way."

Killian nods. "Thanks, Smee."

Even with Smee's support, Killian hesitates. He finds himself nervous to leave the car, to step into the future and his new life.

"I would bet she's here." Smee says, almost like he's talking to himself. "I don't get the feeling that she'd want to stray… you know, staying put so it's easy for you to find them." His friend smiles. "C'mon. Let's go get something to eat. We can worry about finding Emma after. One step at a time, yeah?"

Smee pats him gently on the arm and then turns the car off. The immediate loss of heat from the air vents forces him to join Smee in opening his door.

It takes a minute to climb out of the car, and when he does, he leans back against it, chest tight as he catches his breath.

The air is frigid, but being in Storybrooke feels the opposite.

He'd heard Emma tell stories about this place for weeks. The aged brick of the buildings… the bare trees lining the streets… the banners on the light posts… it's all as she'd described.

As he turns his attention to a nearby car with a Storybrooke bumper sticker, Smee comes alongside him, a wry smirk on his face.

"What's that look for?"

His friend nudges his head toward the diner without saying a word.

Killian follows Smee's gesture and finds himself staring directly inside the building through the glass door at someone so familiar that it makes his heart drop directly into his belly.

Emma.

He's fast on his feet, practically running across the street toward the diner. Suddenly, every ache and pain he'd been feeling falls away. All he sees and knows is Emma.

She opens the door, a bell tinkling in her wake, and she doesn't look up, typing something into her phone. He stops, wanting her to notice him, but she crashes straight into him instead.

"Oh!" She gasps, almost slipping as she struggles to keep her balance. She catches onto his arms and grips tightly. "Sorry. That's the second time that's happened to me in under an hour, if you can believe it."

And she finally meets his eyes.

In a heartbeat, everything changes.

She shakes her head slowly in disbelief. "Killian."

Emma wraps her arms around him, holding him tightly. He grunts slightly at the brute impact, but returns the hug, eyes squeezed shut.

"Emma. Emma." Killian catches his breath, his grip on her tightening. "I'm sorry it took so long."

She threads her fingers into his hair for a few seconds before pulling away to look at his face, thoroughly this time, which gives him the chance to, in desperation, study everything about her.

It's only been a month, but it feels like it's been an eternity.

Her hair curls in waves down her shoulders, the tops of her ears covered by her beanie hat, and she looks exactly as he remembers, though this time, she's far less upset.

They laugh, still holding onto each other, and Emma shakes her head. "I can't believe it. You're here!"

"Aye, love."

God, he loves her.

He opens his mouth to say as much, but she cuts him off with her lips on his, just as desperate and passionate as it had been the last time they'd kissed. This time, though, he holds on tighter knowing that they'd never need another tearful goodbye kiss.

When she pulls away, he leans into her, swaying slightly at the intensity of being here with her. He'd dreamed of this moment dozens of times, but never once did he think that it would feel like he could fly.

"I love you." Emma says with absolutely no hesitation.

His heart skips a heavy beat. Killian can't help but smile when he meets her eyes again. "I love you too."

/

Selfishly, Emma tells Killian to wait out by the dock for her so she can get some time with him before introducing him to her parents, who still sit at their table at Granny's finishing up their meal.

With Henry still in her lap, Mary Margaret meets Emma's eyes first thanks to a little wiggle Henry gives at the sight of her.

"I thought you were going back to the house."

For the life of her, Emma can't wipe the dumb grin she has on her face. Killian is here. He's here and everything is changed, for the better. She feels like she can see clearly for the first time in a long time, no longer burdened with grief or loss.

"I… was thinking I could take Henry from you. Maybe take a quick walk."

Her mother narrows her eyes. Clearly, she's being far too obvious that everything is more than okay again.

"Okay…"

She collects Henry, taking time to dress him to go out into the cold.

"Are you sure you're alright, honey?" David asks. "Just a few minutes ago you were ready to drive up to the airport and leave town."

Emma peers up at her father, nodding. "Yeah. I'm fine." She looks at her mom, who still seems unconvinced. "Seriously. I'm fine."

Mary Margaret grabs her tea and has a sip. Then, as Emma puts Henry in his stroller, she says, "You know… there's a nice view outside from here."

Emma hums, unwilling to budge on telling them that Killian's currently in Storybrooke until they've had a few minutes to themselves. There's a lot that they need to talk about.

"Yeah. It's pretty out there."

Her mother hums back at her. "One might say it's mistletoe weather."

David seems confused, tilting his head at his wife. "What…"

"I'll meet you guys back at the house, okay?" Emma smiles at them both, trying to move as quickly as she can so she doesn't leave Killian out in the cold by himself for much longer.

The minute Emma can see Killian sitting in her favorite spot, Henry giggles as if he can recognize him.

"Henry!" Killian grins, pivoting with his arms held outward.

Emma smiles happily when the two embrace, Henry squishing Killian's face between his two hands so he can give him sloppy baby kisses.

"Oh, thank you. I've missed this." Killian laughs, gently moving Henry away from his face to instead sit in his lap.

He meets Emma's eyes briefly and she sits down beside him. He extends his arm to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

"I would've come after you right away, but..."

She squeezes his hand where it rests over Henry's belly. There will be time for explaining later. Right now, she just needs him to know that she's here for him.

"It's okay. You're here now."

They sit in silence, watching the boats on the water, and Killian sighs, sitting upright. Emma joins him, turning so she can see him again.

There are so many things she wants to ask him. Stories she wants to hear. People he needs to meet, and places he needs to go. But she needs one answer more than the rest.

"Are you going to stay with us?"

Killian raises an eyebrow, laughing like she's crazy. "Where else would I go, darling?"

Emma searches his eyes, not feeling soothed yet. "The island was your home. You built it up with your brother…"

She doesn't mention the losses of Milah or their child, knowing that their graves are on the island, too.

Suddenly, all she feels is guilt. He shouldn't have had to follow her here.

The weeks she'd spent aching and yearning for him to come here to her were so selfish. If anything, she should've poured more time into finding him, in being there for him, and staying by his side no matter what.

Especially now, with the knowledge that their lives are going to be entwined in such a powerful way, it feels as if she's failed him. Emma isn't sure how she wants to tell him about the baby, but she can't do it yet. Not until things slow down again.

"You didn't have to come here." Emma whispers. She closes her eyes with remorse and pulls away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you if you weren't ready to leave."

Maybe it's her past abandonments coming back to give her one last swift kick to the gut, but she has a hard time believing that he'd actually be here because of her. That he'd want to be with her so much that he'd leave his entire world behind to live in hers.

"Emma." Killian reaches for her hand again, warmly interlocking their fingers. "I'm not supposed to be here right now. I was concussed. I have four broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. I have an almost upsetting smattering of other smaller injuries."

The bruised and healing features of his face are more pronounced in the silence that follows. He'd been through hell. This much is clear.

"I wasn't pushed to leave," he says, holding her gaze intentionally. "I very much want to be here. So much so that I dragged Smee across the ocean so that I could be with you for Christmas day."

The weight falls off of her shoulders and she closes her eyes in relief.

"Smee is terrified of flying, by the way. That was... fun."

She can't help but laugh at the tone of his voice.

They both turn their attention to Henry. He plays with Killian's zipper, content in his lap, happily babbling with his head tipped upward.

It hits her then that this is her family. No matter what happened, if she'd gone after him or not, if he'd stayed on the island or not, they would always be a family.

Killian takes a moment to stare at her. "You were right. I didn't want anything to interrupt my life… but I needed you to." Her breath catches at the honesty of his words. "You and Henry are my home. Don't doubt that, Emma."

She sighs and slides closer to him on the bench, her cheek finding his shoulder blade. He smells just like she remembers. And he's oh so warm.

Emma can't help but think ahead of what's still to come. He has to meet her parents, her friends… find a job here in town. And she still has to tell him about the island's parting gift to them: a baby.

There's one thing she knows he definitely has to do today, and it's far and away the most terrifying of everything else.

"Are you ready to meet my parents?"

When she pulls away from him, there's something anxious she finds in his gaze.

"I'm nervous about how they'll look at me. I'm not a hero by any means. You know that better than most."

Emma frowns, tilting her head to the side a little. "You are a hero, though, Killian. Look at what you did to protect us."

He clenches his jaw and adjusts his grasp on Henry. The baby starts to cry, probably getting a little too cold, so Emma takes him from Killian and settles him in the stroller.

"He's cold," Emma explains. She starts to feel it herself, the cold air nipping at her cheeks and nose. A chill runs through her body. "Mom and Dad are at the diner. We can go there, or we could go home. You'll have to meet them either way, though. I don't think I can hide you from them forever."

Killian stands, joining her. He seems hesitant, maybe a bit bashful, tucking his hand and blunt wrist into his jacket pockets. "Let's go meet them at the diner. I'm hungry."

Emma nods, smiling at him. "I'll protect you if they make it too weird."

He chuckles and plants a kiss to her cheek. "Thanks, love."

/

Walking with Emma and Henry back up the sidewalk toward the diner again, Killian feels anxious.

It's different, being in the place she'd spoken so fondly about, about to meet the people she'd longed for the most during her time with him on the island. He imagines she's told them about him, but isn't sure what exactly was shared.

"Do they know that we…"

Emma meets his eyes, laughing a little. "Yeah. Um… I told them we're together." She pauses. "But I… it was only a few days there at the end, so maybe we can back off on it until we're settled in more and can be serious?"

Killian can't help but smile wryly. "Well, darling, I don't usually tell people I love them if I don't intend to be serious about it."

Her answering blush is sweet.

"I do, you know," he adds, "I do love you."

They slow to a stop just outside of Granny's Diner, Emma turning to him with her pretty green eyes sparkling ever so slightly. She presses her palm against his chest and pushes up onto her toes to kiss him, ever so chaste.

"I love you too." Emma turns toward the diner, taking a steadying breath. "Okay. Let's do this."

The bell above the door tinkles when they open it, and once they're inside, he's brought back to his childhood, when he and Liam would venture out to a corner cafe. The smells of coffee and grease, mixed with the fresher Christmas scents, like vanilla and peppermint, fill his nostrils. Christmas music plays over the radio speakers.

The diner isn't very full. A waitress at the bar cleans while a few patrons talk in quiet tones scattered throughout the small space.

Emma leads him to the back of the room, to a booth in the back corner. He's surprised to find a familiar face in Smee, who chews eagerly on a cheeseburger beside a stranger.

The stranger, a woman with dark black hair and bright eyes, seems to notice him first, a smile filling her lips in the kindest way.

Emma pushes Henry into a position where he can see the people at the table. "So… um… I guess you already know."

The man sitting opposite the pretty dark haired woman perks up, turning to look at Killian without saying anything.

Emma tilts her head, smiling at Smee. "Hi again, Smee."

"Miss Emma. It's nice to see you."

Emma takes a breath. "Mom, Dad, this is Killian."

Emma's mother immediately gasps excitedly and pushes out of the booth, clamoring to get her arms around him as quickly as possible. He can't help but laugh at the gesture, finding the woman as endearing as anyone he's ever met.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" She pulls away from him, meeting his eyes with intention, her smile wide. She has kindness in her eyes. "I'm Mary Margaret, Emma's mom. And this handsome charmer is my husband, David."

Mary Margaret turns, gesturing to the man who now stands beside them. David, much like his wife, smiles at him with kindness in his eyes. He holds out a hand to shake and Killian obliges.

"It's good to meet you. We can't thank you enough for being there for Emma and Henry."

Killian shakes his head. "It was a privilege they found me when they did."

David hums. He pulls his hand away and gestures to the booth. "Sit. Are you hungry?"

"Actually, I am. I'd like to eat if it's not any trouble."

"None at all." Mary Margaret insists. She's off in a flash, going to get something from the waitress at the bar.

He and Emma sit together, Emma having grabbed Henry again from the stroller. David slides in opposite of them, next to Smee.

"They flew in just a few hours ago," Emma shares with her father.

"Portland?" he asks, seeming genuinely curious.

"Aye. Yeah. It was an interesting trip."

Mary Margaret arrives at the table then, handing him a menu. "Here you go. Granny said she'll be out in a few minutes to get your order."

"Much obliged." Killian smiles. He sets about studying the menu, nervous to be sitting in silence with Emma's parents.

"You're here in time for Christmas!" Mary Margaret says happily. "That's wonderful. It's the best holiday of the year. We have a lot of traditions we can share with you."

"Oh, Mom," Emma speaks up before Killian can say anything. "Can you tell your cousins to come some other day this week? I don't think we should have a crazy full house this year."

Mary Margaret's eyes widen. "Oh. Yes, of course. I'll send them a message right now."

"Most of the presents are for Henry," David says. "Just preparing you, Emma."

Killian stares at Henry, the little boy happy to play with a little noise-making toy that he shakes. His heart squeezes fondly, joyful that he's able to be here with them again.

Emma laughs. "I know. Henry deserves it. It's his first Christmas."

The light conversation continues for a while. It's easy to talk about Henry and about the weather, or about the best things to order off of the menu. But that's not what Killian finds himself the most nervous about.

Once he places his order with Granny, he keeps his left wrist and right hand beneath the table, anxious to show his blunted wrist off too much to Emma's parents. The hook had been taken from him, and the hospital had tried to get him fitted with a mechanical hand, but he hadn't wanted it.

"So, what happened all these weeks, Killian?" David asks. "Emma told us there were pirates."

He hesitates. This is what he'd been nervous about. This, and sharing why he wanted to be on an island by himself.

"They took me," Killian admits, looking at Smee because he's really the only one who truly knows what happened. "Held me hostage. I'm sure you can guess that they beat me, by the look of me."

He feels Emma's hand on his arm beneath the table. Looking over at her and Henry, he takes a breath.

"I only survived because I kept thinking about how I needed to get back to them."

Emma smiles ever so slightly. He imagines that hearing about what he'd been through isn't the most pleasant thing, so he decides to keep his answer at that.

He turns back to her parents and adds, "I don't know what Emma told you about me and my time as the lighthouse keeper, but, I'll just be honest with you and say that it was a hard time in my life and I wanted to be alone on that island. And then, there was Henry, and there was Emma, and suddenly, everything I thought I wanted was changed."

Mary Margaret gives him the most gentle smile. "It seems you were meant to find each other."

Emma rubs Killian's arm and he looks at her. She's so pretty. He loves her so much.

"So much happened to get you there at exactly the right time," Mary Margaret says wistfully. "It's kind of amazing, isn't it, David? We almost didn't go on that trip."

"I know." David nods in agreement. For whatever reason, Emma's father seems to be a little wary of him, even though he's put it all out on the table for them. "So you're in Storybrooke now. What are your plans?"

"Dad…"

"What? It's a fair question."

"Killian's had a long day."

"It's alright, love," Killian smiles at Emma. Turning to David, he thoughtfully considers his next words. "I'm planning on taking it one day at a time, but I thought I'd get a job in town."

"And how do Emma and Henry factor in?"

"Dad. Honestly." Emma shakes her head in disapproval. "How about we let him settle into his new life here and once we know what's going on, we'll let you know?"

David sighs. "I just want to know that you're not here for the wrong reasons."

"I assure you, I'm not." Killian promises.

The silence is almost deafening. Smee perks up, having cleaned his plate.

"Would you folks happen to have a spare bedroom or two?" Smee wonders. "I hate to ask, but I spent quite a bit of money getting here, so..."

"Oh, of course you can stay with us. Both of you." Mary Margaret smiles, looking between him and Smee. "We have a guest bedroom and a pullout couch."

Smee grins. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Nolan. I promise I won't stay long. Can't say the same for Jones, though."

Killian takes a deep breath, looking at Emma. Henry has captured her attention, having curled his fingers into her hair. Laughing, she meets Killian's gaze after a second of detangling his fingers.

He'd kiss her smile, but doesn't want to embarrass her in front of her parents. After all, they're still trying to figure this whole thing out.

"How long are you staying?" she wonders, clearly teasing.

Sighing playfully, he shakes his head. "I don't know. I was thinking… maybe forever?"

Emma grins at that. "Good."