This story is set a few weeks/months after the saeson finale... More notes at the end :)

You kissed me and stopped me from shaking

"Do you have a minute? Can – Can we talk?" Meredith heard Andrew's voice behind her, slightly breaking at the end. When she turned around, looking up from the scans in her hand, she saw a mix of sadness and fear in his expression. His eyes were full, as if some tears were about to fall out any second.

Andrew had started therapy a few weeks ago, and he started to do better; to feel better. But that didn't mean that sometimes everything that went on didn't still overwhelm him, that it didn't scare him. Meredith knew that, in parts.

They had started to get closer again. They never really settled on a relationship status, but they came to the silent agreement to not give up on each other yet. And Meredith wanted to give Andrew that time to get better first. But from time to time even though they weren't officially back together, he had come to her. In the evening to talk or after his therapy sessions at the hospital to just say 'hello', since he wasn't back to work, yet.

Most of the time he seemed like he just wanted company; to not be alone with everything; to see her. And she was willing to give that to him. Sometimes they sat down on her couch, just enjoying each other's presence and comfort. Sometimes he told her about his day, about therapy. Most evenings he went to his apartment again. A few times they fell asleep on the couch at some point. And one or two times, when it was already late, she told him that he could sleep in her bed with her.

They had kissed again, but it never went further than that, both to her relief and disappointment, but she knew that it wasn't the right time for that yet. She wanted him to get better, she wanted to be there for him and she didn't want to take advantage of him in those moments.

So, she knew, in parts, how he was feeling, what was going on in his life, because he had told her. And she knew that his diagnosis still scared him. But something about seeing him now made her alarm bells ring. She hasn't seen him like that in a long time. Especially not when he had come to visit her at work the few times.

But before she could answer him, she heard Dr. Schmitt behind her, who just came into the scan room.

"Dr. Grey, I have your scans." Meredith turned around for a short moment, taking a quick look at the scans, only to see if there were any big changes. She would take a closer look later.

"I- thank you. Can you give us a minute, I will be with our patient in 30 minutes to go over the surgery. Meet me in their room." She only saw the confused look on Schmitt's face out of her eyes, while turning around to where she expected Andrew, when she saw his figure disappearing in the hospital floors. He must have gone as soon as Schmitt came in.

And still having the image of him, with the tears in his eyes in front of her, made her uneasy. She was at work, she couldn't go for too long, but she also didn't want to let him leave like that, she didn't want him to feel alone, when he had come to her, obviously wanting to talk.

Meredith quickly put the scans together and then left to go after him. She went to the staircase Andrew had taken a moment ago. When she reached the end of it, she saw how he disappeared into one of the on-call rooms on that floor, as some doctors came his way.

Meredith opened the door and quickly went inside, closing it behind her to give them some privacy. Andrew was standing there, but if anything, he seemed more lost than before. A few tears were falling down his face now, his arms loosely hanging down next to his body. She could see how he tried, but couldn't keep himself together.

"Andrew." Meredith tried carefully. He looked up at her, not quite meeting her eyes, but she had his attention. "What is wrong? What happened?" She took a step closer to him, now in arm's length from him.

He kept staring at her for a long moment. Slowly getting himself together again, at least trying to put on a façade.

"I- I shouldn't- " he started.

"Andrew, you wanted to talk to me. You came to me." She took another step closer, laying her hand on his arm "You can talk to me." She continued, before she added whispering "What did you want to talk about?"

It was silent for some time. She could see that he was hesitating now, even though he seemed so sure to talk to her earlier. But she knew it from herself, that sometimes the longer she thought about something, the more doubts she got. But by the way he ever so slightly relaxed at her touch, she was glad to see that he didn't want to walk away again.

"I- Are you scared of me?" Andrew finally asked her, the uncertainty audible in his voice.

"What? No." She answered determined, but softly, wondering where he was coming from. The way he looked at her, she could tell that he had been scared of her answer, but also that he wasn't quite sure whether to believe her.

"When I yelled at you… I don't remember everything that clearly, but I did- I did scare you…" The tears he had tried to hold back the whole time started to fall out now. He lifted his arm to wipe them away, in an hopeless attempt to stop them. Before he gave up, letting his arm hang down next to his body again.

"Andrew, you do not scare me." She whispered as she took another step closer, standing right in front of him now. She had no idea where all of this was coming from. But instead of questioning him, she leaned in a little closer, grazing his lips in a kiss ever so slightly, as if she wanted to promise him, to show him that she meant it, before she embraced him. Just holding him, hoping that she could help him somehow.

She first felt him holding himself back when she had kissed him, before he let himself lean into the feeling of her lips, the feeling of her, and slowly relaxed at her embrace. After a moment he let his head rest against the side of hers. She could feel his breath against her neck, his head heavy. But in that moment, she was just glad to see him calm down again.

They stood like this for a while. Meredith was just holding him in her embrace until she felt him hugging her back. She let herself stay in that moment a bit longer before she slightly pulled away to look at him.

She saw him starring at her for a moment, before he closed the distance again to kiss her, tenderly. It was more of a short touch, grazing over her lips than anything else. But she could feel that he needed this. Then he looked up at her, adding in a whisper "I'm sorry."

"Andrew, you don't need to feel sorry…" She said softly. "Just, where is this coming from?" She looked at him questioningly. Not totally sure how he had come to the conclusion and why it had thrown him like this.

Andrew went out of her embrace, sitting down on one of the beds in the on-call room. Meredith slowly followed him, sitting down next to him. Not too close, so that he wouldn't feel cornered. She had come to notice that sometimes he needed his space when he told her things that were hard for him, especially when she was part of what was on his mind. Sometimes he wanted her comfort, he needed her comfort, like before, when she had followed him in this room. When she saw him crying. But by the way he had put some distance between them, she also knew that this wasn't such a moment. She knew not to feel bad because of this, it was just easier for him to get the words out that way.

"I had a therapy session and –" Andrew took a deep breath before he continued "We talked about my childhood and – my dad. And – he scared me." He looked at her for a moment, before he starred into the room again "When things got worse – When he yelled at us – I – I was terrified of him, even though he was my father. And… I know I scared you when I yelled at you." He stopped himself for a moment, seemingly not sure how or even if he should say the next words. Meredith gave him that moment, hoping he would continue by himself.

"The last few days that image of you flinching and jumping back because of me when I yelled at you always comes up and…" She noticed how his voice started to get more unsteady again. After he had told her calmly what was going on, she could see that this was what really got to him. "I don't want to be a person, people are afraid of, I don't want you to be scared of me."

"Andrew. I am not scared of you." She tried to meet his eyes, tilting her head slightly, so he had to look at her. "Yes, that situation scared me… but, you're more than that one moment. I might not know everything about you. But I got to know you and I trust you. And we can figure this out together. But I am not scared of you." She took his hand to assure him.

"Okay?" She asked him almost inaudible after a moment.

"This can happen again." He answered whispering, looking directly at her for the first time.

"I know, but you can get through this. We can get through this." She tried to tell him that she didn't want to be anywhere else. "I believe in you. And you should, too." She could see that he wasn't completely convinced yet; she gave him a small smile to encourage him, nudging his shoulder slightly.

"It's not that easy." He replied, but with a small smile forming on his own lips.

"I know. But try. If not for you then for me." She answered softly, seeing Andrew's smile getting a little wider, nodding beside her to tell her that he wanted to try.

In that moment her pager started to beep, and she had to leave… But before she went out the door, she turned around one more time.

"I have to go now, but Andrew… I want to be there for you." She let him know that this was the place where she wanted to be, that he was the the person she wanted to be with.

"Thank you, Mer."

The end is a bit rushed, I'm sorry! :)

This story was inspired when I heard these four lines on the radio a few weeks ago... And I thought of Mer and Andrew...

Well, you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

- Mandy, Westlife

I hope you liked it :)