Pairings: Megan/Connor, (Rob has a crush on Zatanna and the other way around)
Young Justice
Humour
(You can comment on the truth answers, if you want. Would be fun to see what you'd answer.)
_
The team gathered on the couch in Mount Justice, being forced to do some team-bonding by Red Tornado. One problem, it was a four-person couch and it was a seven member team + Speedy- sorry, Red Arrow, so the space was a bit... cramped.
After finally settling in, Artemis realized that she was sitting next to Wally, and everyone had to re-arrange, just that Zatanna now practically sat on Wally's lap, which Robin didn't like at all, so they had to re-re-arrange. But, because things couldn't be easy for once, the couch decided it had had enough and the armrests broke off, leaving Wally and Superboy to tumble to the ground with surprised grunts- or screams, in Wally's case.
So, in the end, they all agreed to just sit on the floor. Zatanna made pillows appear and everyone settled down in a circle, Robin next to Zatanna next to Kaldur next to Artemis next to Megan next to Supes next to Wally next to Roy next to Robin... Yeah, that made total sense.
"Soooooo," muttered Wally, tapping his foot on the ground, "What do we do now?"
Immediately, Megan's hand shot up. "The girls in my school played this game, I think it was called 'Dare and Truth'? Can we play that? Please."
Robin suppressed a snicker. "You mean 'Truth or Dare', but sure, why not."
"But no personal questions," interjected Artemis quickly, crossing her arms. "Robin's identity is off limits and so is my not-superhero life, got it?" She received a round of nods. "And if you don't want to answer a question or do a dare, you have to put five bucks in the middle of the circle, which we'll split up at the end of the game, deal?"
"Deal," replied everyone and Robin smirked devilishly.
"Wally, truth or dare?"
The speedster pondered it for a moment, but Robin's smirk kinda scared him, so he answered, "Truth."
Dick's smirk only widened and Wally groaned. "Please be nice, Rob."
"Nope, no symphaty during Truth or Dare. So, Walls, what was the last thing you searched for on your phone?"
The speedster frowned and pulled the electronic device out of his pocket. "Ehh, let's see... Oh, here: 'If cocoa beans grow on trees, does that mean they are fruits? And if so, wouldn't that mean chocolate is healthy?'"
Wally awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, while Dick face-palmed, muttering something about idiotic best friends. Artemis just rolled her eyes, while Kaldur, Connor and Megan looked at each other in confusion. "I don't get it," the green skinned girl muttered, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. Artemis just waved her off. "Doesn't matter, it's just Kid Idiot being an idiot."
"Payback time, Rob," said Wally quickly, before Artemis could make anymore fun of him. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare," challenged Robin, a determined smirk playing on his lips.
Trying to keep his voice natural, Wally suppressed a grin. "Wear your first Robin costume."
The team burst out laughing at Robin's horror-struck face, even though Roy and Wally were the only ones who actually knew what the costume looked like. Robin glared at his best friend, his eyes screaming murder. "Come on, Rob, we're waiting," said Roy in a sing-song voice. If looks could kill... "I'll be right back," growled the thirteen-year-old through clenched teeth and stood up, walking toward the Zeta tube, which announced his departing. Recognized: Robin B01
"What was all that about?" asked Megan, scrunching up her eyebrows. Wally and Roy shared a look, smirking deviously. "You'll see, Meg, you'll see."
And see they did. The second the acrobat re-entered the room, no one could stop the round of booming laughter that broke through everyone's lips, their eyes drawn to the naked legs of their teammate. "Oh my God," choked Artemis, clutching her stomach. The costume was fucking pantless!
She fell backwards, not being able to sit upright anymore- Wally was already rolling on the floor- and Kaldur tried desperately to get his breath back, he didn't want to humiliate Robin any further, but the panties...
Robin meanwhile, was blushing furiously, sending murderous glares at the fastest teen alive, who didn't seem fazed. "S-sorry dude, but I c-can take you s-serious with those pa-pan-" he broke down laughing again, not able to finish his sentence, which brought yet another round of laughter to the young heroes. "Yeah, yeah," grumbled Dick, bright red face distorted in a grimace, "Laugh all you want, but this costume once struk fear in Gotham's low life's hearts." Cue another round of breathless laughing. "S-sure," gasped Roy, holding his aching side. Robin crossed his arms over his chest and flopped down on his pillow again. "How long do I have to wear this?"
Wally's eyebrows knitted together as he thought about it and Artemis rolled her eyes. "Careful Kid Idiot, if you think too much, you're gonna hurt yourself."
"Haha, very funny," he grumbled, giving her a sour look. "Rob, you're gonna wear it until someone picks you again," he decided, turning his attention away from Artemis.
Robin, who put his pillow on his lap, so his bare legs were covered, groaned. "Can I pick myself?"
"Nope."
The black-haired teen dropped his head in his hands and groaned again. "Fine, Kal, thruth or dare?"
The Atlantian looked a bit lost. "Uh, truth?" Anything was fine, as long as he didn't have to wear pantless superhero costumes. Robin grinned, the mischievous sparkle in his eyes returning. "If you had to choose between going naked or having your thoughts appear in thought bubbles above your head for everyone to read, which would you choose?"
Kaldur bit his lip, thinking about what to answer, while Wally shook his head in disbelieve. "Dude, how do you come up with things like that so fast?" Robin shrugged. "That's just me. So Kal, what's your answer?"
"I think I would go around naked. I mean, it's just outward appearance, right, but if everyone knew what you think about them... I do not think that is a good alternative, my friend."
Robin nodded in acknowledgment and motioned him to pick someone else. "Uh, Megan, truth or dare?"
The Martian smiled. "Dare."
"I dare you to... dance one minute without music." A few snickers were heard around the room and Connor send angry glanced in their direction. "Oh, okay," smiled Miss Martian, standing up and taking a few steps back.
Then she started dancing ballet, raising one leg and turning in a perfect pirouette, her arms above her head, knees bending and she turned around, dancing to a rhythm only she could hear.
The team watched in awe as she flew through the air, looking as graceful as Robin when he performed his acrobatics.
Five minutes later- no one mentioned that she danced longer than she had to- Megan bowed, smiling shyly. She sat back down and everybody bombarded her with questions and applause. "Where did you learn to dance so well?" asked Artemis, giving her friend a warm smile. The Martian shrugged. "I learnt it at school. Some girls taught me."
"That's awesome, Megan."
"Hey, Megan," interrupted Wally, rude as always. "How did you do this spin-around-yourself-thingy?"
"You mean the pirouette? I... I don't know, I just did it. I saw the other girls do it a few times, so I thought I'd give it a try."
"So," interrupted Robin, "not to be rude or anything- your performance was great, Megan- but I'd like to get out of this," he gestured to his costume, "So could we please go on and could you please pick me," he begged the red head, but Megan smiled apologizing, "But I think it looks funny. I am sorry, Robin, but I pick... Red Arrow."
Roy sighed and said, "Truth" which earn him a "man up" from Wally.
"Okay, let's see," mused Megan, biting her lip, "hmm, who do you think is the worst dressed person in this room?"
At that, Roy laughed and the answer came like a shot, "Robin."
The Boy Wonder pouted. "Well, whose fault is that?"
"Batman's, for constructing that costume."
Robin raised his eyebrows. "You really shouldn't let him hear that."
"I won't. Connor, truth or dare?"
The Kryptonian shrugged nonchalantly. "Dare."
Roy smirked. "You're gonna like this one. Stick a 'kick me' sign on Superman's back."
"Ohh," screamed Robin and Wally, high-fiving Roy, "He's gonna be pissed."
Connor just shrugged again. "Fine, I'll do it. I need a pencil and paper." Artemis handed both items to him and Connor wrote a quick 'kick me'. "I also need tape."
"Right," muttered Robin, rummaging through his utility belt, "It should be here somewhe- aha!" He pulled out a roll of tape and Superboy took it, stepping into the Zeta tube. Recognized: Superboy B04, and he was gone in a bright flash. "So, you think he's really gonna do it?"
Robin rolled his eyes at Wally. "If it pisses of Superman, sure as hell."
A few minutes later- in which Artemis and Wally managed to get into a fight over a Batman rubber duck, much to Robin's embarrassment- Connor returned, a smug smile on his face. "As I left the Watch Tower, I could hear Superman yell at Flash about respect and not kicking other teammates." The teens burst out laughing, imagining Flash kicking Superman in his super-ass. "Nicely done, Supes, you are getting more and more like me and Rob every day," complimented Wally, even though some- *cough* Artemis *cough*- weren't sure whether that really was a compliment or rather something to worry about. "Now pick someone else," instructed Kid Flash, "Just don't pick Chicken-legs-Robin."
"Hey, KF!"
Wally just grinned and Connor let his eyes drift over the present heroes.
"I pick Artemis. Truth or dare?"
"Truth," answered the blonde, sitting up straighter. "What's the first thing you would do if you woke up one day as the opposite sex?"
Artemis seemed stunned for a second, while the other teens thought about what their answer would be, if Superboy had asked them. "That's a really good question," muttered the archer, chewing on her bottom lip. "Uh, I think I'd walk all the way to Central City and ask Wally what the hell he did."
"Hey!" screamed an outraged speedster, earning himself laughter from his friends. "That's probably what all of us would do," agreed Robin, smirking at his best friend, and even Kaldur nodded his head, although reluctantly, which was slightly disturbing, considering the Atlantian was always the impartial leader, who never took anyone's side. Wally muttered something about idiotic teams and Artemis decided to release Robin from his humiliating costume. "Rob, truth or dare?"
"Finally!" cried the acrobat, jumping to his feet and knocking his pillow onto Zatanna's head. "Sorry, Zee. I'll be right back." And with that, the pantless Robin ran into the Zeta tube and got beamed away.
"A shame," sighed Wally, grinning at Zatanna, "I had the feeling you enjoyed seeing Robin without pants."
"Oh my God," groaned Artemis, laying a hand on Zatanna's shoulder. The magician was blushing and hiding her face behind her hands. "I'm gonna kill you, Wally," she growled, glaring through her fingers.
Recognized: Robin B01
"Dare!" yelled Robin, before he even entered the room. Artemis laughed slightly and waited for him to settle down before assigning him with his task. "Kiss the cutest person in the room."
Secretly, Artemis hoped he'd kiss Zatanna, so she was more than surprised when the acrobat stood up and walked towards the one and only Wally West. She felt slightly guilty as she saw Zee's hurt expression- she really though he liked her the same way she liked him, all those times he looked at her from the corner of his eyes, or the way he didn't want her to sit next to another male in the group, his protectiveness over her during missions. "Wally," said Robin, who looked at him like 'what the fuck is happening?' and answered, "Uh, yes?" He liked Robin, but not like that. The tension was so think, Artemis could have sliced through it with one of her arrows. She hold her breath as she watched Robin. "Move," ordered the younger boy, "you're blocking my way to the mirror."
And that did the trick. The tension bled out of everyone and the teens erupted in laughter, Wally heaving to get air inside his lungs. He laid a hand over his heart, shaking his head. "Jesus, Rob, you almost gave me a heart attack."
Robin winked at him and walked over to the mirror, kissing the glass. Then he returned to his seat on the pillow, brushing his lips against Zatanna's cheek in the process, whispering, "And that was for the second most cutest person in the room." Zatanna blushed scarlet red and Robin had slightly coloured cheeks himself. "Zee, truth or dare?"
The black-haired girl grinned challengeingly and answered, "Dare."
"Put a love spell on Batman." Robin's request was greeted with silence. "What?" asked Zatanna incredulously, choking on her own spit. "Are you tying to get me killed?"
"No, but I want something to blackmail Bats with."
Wally looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "You're bonkers, dude, bonkers..."
Robin just shrugged his shoulders. "Your point? We are all mad here."
"No quotations no one understands, Rob!"
"Sorry." He turned to Zee. "So, you gonna do it or not?"
Zatanna groaned and ran a hand down her face. "Fine, but I'll blame you if this backfires, which it will."
Robin nodded, but Wally still had a question. "How exactly does your spell work?"
"The first thing Batman touches, he falls in love with."
A wicked smirk appeared on Wally's face and he stood up. "I'll be back in a sec, you can call him over already, 'kay?"
Robin nodded and grabbed his communicator, trying hard not to laugh as Wally sped out of the room. "Batman, you there?"
For a second, there was static and then Batman's gruff voice could be heard from the other end of the line, "I'm here. What's the emergency?"
"The cave is under attack and we need backup."
"I'm on my way." And then there was silence from the communicator and the young heroes burst out laughing. "This is gonna be interesting.
"Recognized: Batman 02"
As the caped crusader burst into the room, Zatanna jumped up, extended her hands towards him and yelled, "Ekam mih llaf ni evol!" A bright light hit Batman in the chest and he stopped dead in his tracks, blinking slowly under his cowl. And as if that wasn't enough, a book flew right at his face and Batman barely caught it, before it hit his nose. There was a collective gasp and Wally, who stood in the doorway, still in his throwing position, burst out laughing. The first thing Batman touches, he falls in love with.
"Hello, darling," purred the Bat, stroking the book, receiving disturbed looks from the teens, who fled the room as Batman started a full blown make out session- with tongue and everything- with the book. "Gross, gross!" yelled Robin, rubbing at his masked eyes desperately. "I will never be able to forget that image! Gross! Just wait until I tell Catwoman about this!"
Wally burst out laughing. "Don't tell me the two still have their weird flirt-kill-flirt thingy going on."
"They do," answered Robin, groaning loudly.
"Wait, Catwoman and Batman?" asked Artemis disbeliebingly as they all settled down in Robin's room. "Yes, it's annoying as fuck. I once ran into her. In the morning. In our house. And she wore only her underwear..."
"Oh."
"Yes. So, now that my mentor is making out with a book-" he glared at Wally accusingly, "Why don't we move on? It's your turn, Zee."
The magician smirked. "Wally, you and Artemis are going to have an insult war. The first person who can't think of an insult loses."
The teens burst out laughing again. "Well, that can't be too hard," grinned Artemis and Wally nodded his head. "Get ready to burn."
Zatanna clapped her hands. "Okay, only rule, the insult can't be too offensive, we're all friends here and I don't want any cruel words, got it?"
The two competitors nodded and Zatanna smiled. "Then, let's start. Wally, you're first."
"If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world."
"Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick," shot Artemis back, making everyone laugh again.
"It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it."
Artmis' face was taking on a slightly red color and she narrowed her eyes.
"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory."
Everybody- Wally included- was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard tears were rolling down their faces. "Seriously, Artemis?" asked the breathless speedster, "Where do you get those phrases from?"
She just shrugged and motioned for him to continue.
"I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes."
"The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."
The team was gasping for breath by now and Zatanna laughed, "Artmis defenitifly has the better insults."
"You're so fake, Barbie is jealous." Wally smirked as Artemis' face turned redder than Megan's hair.
"You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering."
Wally frowned. "My mom never dropped me off at school..."
The team face-palmed.
"If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
Robin was clutching his stomach by now, barely able to high-five his best friend.
"You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."
"Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing."
"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works."
Artemis grinned at Wally's cherry face.
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
The archer rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm trying to tell you all the time."
"Was that an insult or response to m?"
"Latter. Now comes my insult:
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"
"Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people."
"You, sir, are an oxygen thief!"
"Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall."
The teens laughed and Wally fist-bumbed Robin.
"Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid."
"Why don't you go play in traffic."
"Please shut your mouth when you're talking to me."
"But then I can't talk to you anymore." Wally frowned at his own words and face-palmed. "Okay, please ignore that sentence." He shook his head and thought about his next insult and said, "I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse."
"They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured," smirked Artemis and Wally grinned right back, wriggling his eyebrows. "Sounds just like you."
"Wha-?"
"Stop trying to be a smart ass, you're just an ass," said Wally, before Artemis could comprehend his previous words. The blonde narrowed her eyes.
"The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it."
"'m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"
"If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence."
Robin laughed at Wally's dumbstruck face. "Well, does that mean we have to fight Wally now? Because we fight crime and stuff..." Artemis snickered. "Guess so."
"Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime," grumbled a red-faced speedster, glaring at his traitorous best friend.
"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma."
"Shock me, say something intelligent."
Artemis rolled her eyes. "Sorry, but you wouldn't understand it."
"If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty."
Robin smirked. "I should remember that the next time I meet Two-Face."
"Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there," grinned Artemis, to which Wally replied with, "You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse."
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."
"How old are you? - Wait I shouldn't ask, you can't count that high."
Artemis snort. "Sure you aren't talking 'bout yourself?"
"Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives, you should go get one."
Robin, on Wally's side again, high-fived his best bud.
"You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you."
"Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me?"
"All day I thought of you... I was at the zoo." Wally snort. "You should tell that Robin, he's the one named after an animal."
"Hey!"
"Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn," grinned Wally and Artemis rolled her eyes.
"Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips."
"Okay, that was a good one," admitted Wally.
"Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?" He continued.
"As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"
"Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one," said Wally laughing and Artmis blushed some more.
"We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move."
"Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?"
"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."
"Uh... You- uh..."
"And Artmis wins!" Cried Zatanna, still laughing her head off.
"Oh man," whined Wally, pouting on the floor.
Zee was about to say something else, when an outraged cry cut through the mountain, "Team! Get down here, right now!"
Robin's eyes widened and he quickly jumped to his feet. "Okay, I think we should stop here for now and run for our lives, because Batman is pissed."
Everyone nodded and run in the opposite direction of the main room.
(This is not the end of 'truth or dare', I still have some ideas for next chapters.)