a/n; apologies. No idea what happened with the formatting Hopefully this fixes it.
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He found Crowley standing in his kitchen making himself a coffee. It was strange seeing him there, normally they stayed down in the shop.
"I remembered to take my shoes off," the demon said as he slinked across to the sofa, placing two cups on the table.
"You didn't fancy the wine?"
"Not just yet but feel free to crack it open, don't deny yourself on my account."
Aziraphale frowned at him. He retrieved the bottle and a pair of glasses anyway before producing a lemon drizzle cake.
"So. Where were we?" he said cheerfully.
Crowley rested his head back on the sofa and hissed before throwing himself forward and snatching up a wine glass. If he were human he'd say he had a problem with alcohol, but right now his problems were about to get a whole lot worse than too much wine. Now he had to talk about feelings, he downed the wine for courage before he spoke. "I heard in here," he pointed to his head, "and here," he pointed to his chest. "I always hear when you're in trouble. It's like a siren goes off. When you discorporated…" he gulped, "when you discorporated something went missing and I felt it. Like a change in the atmosphere."
"Right. Well. But how did you find me?"
"I followed the feeling."
"So you came to rescue me?"
"Bless it all Aziraphale! Yes! Yes I came to save you. I came to the Bastille to save you. I walked on consecrated ground to save you!" He huffed out a breath. "I've got the scars to prove it." He stood and stalked over to the window, ruffling his hair.
Aziraphale gulped and looked at the floor. As his gaze travelled he noticed Crowley's feet.
He was standing barefoot. He'd always hated the feel of socks on carpet, it put his teeth on edge, that's why he didn't have carpets at home. But there, glistening on his heels were jagged lines of yellow, how had he never noticed?
"What… Crowley… I."
"Brimstone." Was all the response he got.
"From the consecrated ground in the church?"
"Can't spend that long on it without getting burned. Not even in leather shoes."
"Oh my dear. You never said."
"No reason to," he shrugged.
"What about being in Heaven?"
"I was technically wearing you as armour so it was just uncomfortable rather than all out burning. Was worth every second to see the look on those bastard's faces." His chuckle sounded malevolent even to him. He hadn't heard Aziraphale step up behind him so jumped as the angel rested a hand on his shoulder.
"We hadn't spoken in nearly a hundred years when you appeared in that church, I thought you'd forgotten all about me. I was so happy to see you."
"After you realised I wasn't involved." Crowley raised an eyebrow.
"I am a bit of a bastard aren't I?" He smiled. "And you are a good man, even if She can't see it now; She will one day. I'm sure of it."
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Stop trying to ssssave my sssoul!" Bless it all, he was hissing again. "You have to acssssept I'm irredeemable. I fell. That'sss it, end of story. There's no way back up. And why would I want too? What is ssso good about being an angel anyway?"
Aziraphale couldn't answer that one. His own faith had been shaken during the Armageddon that never was. But one thing he still had absolute faith in was Crowley.
"You're already redeemed in my eyes, my dear."
"Didn't they ever tell you you shouldn't be nice to demons?" Crowley's voice wavered a fraction.
"What about my friend of 6000 years?"
The demon looked round at him.
"You can take the glasses off, no one is here to see."
"You are."
"They don't scare me. You don't scare me."
"Really? You scare the heaven out of me," Crowley admitted as Aziraphale reached up and took his glasses away, slipping them into his jacket pocket.
They stared at each other for a moment. Crowley saw the tops of the angel's ears turn pink as he swallowed heavily. He felt naked without his glasses, his snake eyes a reminder of what he was, what he was meant to be.
"Crowley. I had no idea."
The demon cleared his throat and shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I'll get over it." Before he could move, Aziraphale's hand came up and cupped his cheek. "What...what are you doing?"
"I believe I'm about to kiss you," his friend breathed before gently touching his lips to Crowley's.
Crowley froze for a moment, torn. One part of his brain thought the the angel had completely lost his mind and the other didn't care. His hesitation caused Aziraphale to pull away embarrassed but the flustered apology kicked the demon into action; he surged forward and kissed him back, hands cupping his cheeks.
Their breaths mingled in long held sighs of relief as their mouths danced. Crowley's heart lifted causing his wings to appear, which amused his angel.
Aziraphale pulled him closer, his hands brushing the feathers that lay close to his back which made the demon shiver against him. Feeling bolder, the angel did it again and again until Crowley's knees nearly gave out.
"Bastard," he gasped.
Aziraphale chuckled. "Darling Crowley." He pulled back and stared into golden eyes. "You don't need to hide from me."
Crowley stared back, his brain struggling to make sense lol of things. "You don't know what you're saying. Or doing! You're an angel!"
"You were one too once. We're not all that different."
"Pft, really?" he scoffed stepping away, forcing his wings to retreat.
"We're two halves of the same thing. Like ying and yang."
Now Crowley knew the angel had lost his mind. "How much have you had to drink?"
Aziraphale sighed. "I'm perfectly sober. Why is it so hard to believe that I…"
"That you what?"
"That I might want you?"
Crowley blinked. "it's been 6000 years."
"I believe they call it a 'slow burn' dear. I was just never…. ready to admit it." Aziraphale sighed at the dubious look in his demon's eyes. "Dearest, darling Crowley. Has it occurred to you that I may have been using my principality as a shield? Holding on to it to protect me from…. impure thoughts?"
"Impure…. Jesus fucking Christ!" Crowley raked his hand through his hair, completely mussing it as he paced back and forth, like a caged animal. "Angel, the most impure thought you've ever had is whether you can get away with eating a Devil's food cake."
The angel frowned. "Do you not want me Crowley? Is that it? You just have to say and that'll be the end of it."
The red head stopped suddenly and stared at him. "I've wanted nothing more in 6000 years," he whispered, daring to hope that the angel hadn't gone insane.
Aziraphale smiled at him and the room lit up. "Why did you never say?"
"Have you sssseen me?" He raised his eyebrows as it that answered the question.
"I see my best friend."
"I'm a snake on two legs."
"No. You can be a snake but you are Crowley. And I.." A finger on his lips stopped him from continuing.
"Don't say it." Crowley demanded.
"Why not?"
"Because you love everyone. You have to, it's in your job description."
"And temptation is in yours. Are you trying to tempt me now?"
"I'm not trying to do anything other than figure out when you lost your blessed mind!"
Azriphale pursed his lips. His demon was stubborn and amazingly insecure. "Anthony J Crowley, now you listen here! I might not have been in love with you for 6000 years, a lot of the time I was sure you were going out of your way to exasperate me, rather successfully judging by my current blood pressure. But you are the most beautiful, prickly, infuriating partner in crime I ever could have been blessed with in that garden and I adore every inch of you!" He cursed his eyes for the tears that were swimming in them but refused to look away.
Crowley let out a shaky breath. "Aziraphale. I…" he didn't know what to say.
"I know I've pushed you away over the years, trying to hide from myself. I thought if I admitted it then somehow they'd know, that I was faulty in some way."
"Why now?"
"Because now they know I'm faulty and I find myself not caring one bit. Do you miss Hell?"
The demon let out a bark of laughter. "Misssss it? Miss somewhere that tortures for fun? The place I spent centuries burning in sssulphur?" He saw Aziraphale blanch. "You didn't see the half of it down there. Being up here was my Eden. Having you here too, a constant, a….friend. Someone to…." He struggled with the words, "care about. I could pretend for a while that they didn't exisssst. And with humans doing stupid and horrid things through free will I didn't even have to work that hard."
Aziraphale was grinning at him.
"But I can't say that I love you. I don't even know if I can feel love."
"Do you want me? In a…. biblical sense?" The angel blushed.
"Fucking…. 'biblical sense'?" Crowley sighed, wiping a hand down his face, not quite believing this conversation was real.
"Yes, I mean do y.."
"I know what it means, Angel. I did read the Bible. Well some of it. I enjoyed how pissed off She would be having been gender swapped."
Aziraphale chuckled. "Yes, that didn't go down very well."
"Wonder if that's why she's such a bitch?"
"Crowley!" the angel admonished, scandalised.
"Oh come on, the floods? The crucifixion, plagues, famine, Armageddon? Ringing any bells?"
"Stop changing the subject! Fine. Let me ask you this; how did it feel when you were in this shop, surrounded by fire, knowing I was gone?"
Crowley gulped. "Like all the air had left my lungs. I didn't care who'd killed you, I hated everyone equally for it. Angels, demons, bloody humans. They could all go to heaven, or hell for all I cared. I was done with them all," he answered honestly.
"Doesn't that sound like love to you?"
"I don't know. I don't remember what it feels like. It's been a long time."
Smiling Aziraphale took his hand and led him back to the sofa. "Crowley, I've never been one to be anything but blunt with you."
The demon snorted.
"So I'm going to ask you to be blunt with me. The L-word aside, do you find me appealing?"
"Appealing? You're not a piece of bloody cake!"
"You know what I mean. Are you even remotely attracted to me?"
There was a very pregnant pause and Aziraphale could feel his unnecessary heart pounding.
"Oh bollocks. Yes! Yes alright. I admit it."
The angel let out his breath and gave a shakey smile. "Well," he cleared his throat. "That's a start at least."
Crowley shook his head. "This is wrong. It's like you said; you're an angel, I'm a demon. Hereditary enemies remember? What if you Fall? How could you live with that? How could I?!"
"If I haven't fallen for breathing hellfire at the Archangel I'm hardly likely to fall for being in love," Aziraphale said softly.
"You didn't breathe hellfire at them, I did. Angel when you Fall it's….the most indescribable pain. And it….it never really goes away, not completely. When they summon you; that pull… it's pure pain."
"Is that what happened when he came to the airfield? You dropped to the floor."
"Yeah. He's good at inflicting pain at will. I was lucky that day, he was more pissed off with Adam. Now I just have to hope it stays that way."
"Would you like something more? With me I mean."
Crowley watched his friend's face. So earnest and full of kindness, maybe even real love, it made his heart clench. "This is insane. I'm the demon and here's you, an angel, trying to tempt me!"
"I'm hardly trying to tempt you. I'm just trying to…"
"To what?"
"Find out where we stand. You said we're on our side. But what is that side?"
"It's too much, I can't think straight. Sorry Angel. I need time to sort this out." He stood and collected his shoes. "I'll… I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that he vanished leaving Aziraphale alone.
The angel took a deep breath. This was fine. He'd be fine. Crowley would realise they loved each other and that he was worrying over nothing.
Picking up a book he nodded to himself and stared at the pages, not reading a single word.
XxXxX