Arriving outside Crowley's flat, Aziraphale steadied himself against the wall. "You'd think you'd get used to it," he moaned. He could still smell and feel the blessing in the door as he snapped himself inside.
"Crowley?! I'm not a fan of deja vu!" he called as he went through the demon's home.
There was no sign and he didn't know whether to be relieved or not.
After checking on the plants and making sure they would be fine for the foreseeable future with a small miracle, Aziraphale stepped out and turned to deal with the problem of the blessed front door.
XxXxX
Crowley groaned as he appeared under an arch, luckily darkness had fallen and so no one noticed. Looking around he spotted a hotel he knew well, now he just had to get inside without raising concerns.
Straightening himself as much as he could and taking a few deep breaths, he miracled himself fresh clothes and swaggered to the front desk.
"Good evening sir, welcome to the Hotel Cafe Royal."
"Yeah, hi. Any suites available for the next few days?" he asked, giving the most charming smile he could manage as he leant on the counter, trying to look casual.
"We have had a last minute cancellation as it happens," the girl behind the desk smiled at him.
"What are the odds? I'll take it." Crowley slapped his credit card down on the desk and waited, readying himself for the pain of moving to the lift.
"Are you alright Sir?"
"A bad back I'm afraid. Had to abandon my car and seek refuge."
"Oh I know all about those. Do you need help to your room?"
"I'll be fine." He knew his smile was becoming a grimace.
She handed back his card and gave him his key. "Top floor. Enjoy your stay. Let us know if we can help in any way." If Crowley had been paying attention he might have noticed her flirting.
With a small salute he awkwardly made his way into the lift, leaning heavily against the wall as the doors closed. He sucked in deep breaths as he tried to heal himself but it wasn't going well. He really needed to crawl into bed and sleep through it.
XxXxX
Aziraphale sat in his shop, staring at his book. Every time the bell went on the door he looked up hoping it would be Crowley.
It had been a few days since the demon had left and he'd had no word from him, not even to let him know he was ok. Where could he be? Did he need help? Why would he run? He thought back over everything that happened
'Instead you slithered away and hid like the snake you are.'
He frowned.
'I'm a snake on two legs'
'You try being a snake and see how easy you find it to keep warm up here.'
Snakes. Snakes. Getting up from his chair he placed his glasses on his nose and walked around his store. All of his books were rare and old but surely there must be one here somewhere that would help him? He picked up a few books on mythology, symbolism and an old tome on nature, and began leafing through.
'The serpent, or snake, is one of the oldest and most widespread mythological symbols. The word is derived from Latin serpens, a crawling animal or snake. Snakes have been associated with some of the oldest rituals known to mankind and represent dual expression of good and evil.'
"Really you do surprise me," Aziraphale rolled his eyes.
'In some cultures, snakes were fertility symbols. For example, the Hopi people of North America the snake dance is a prayer to the spirits of the clouds, the thunder and the lightning, that the rain may fall on the growing crops. In other cultures, snakes symbolized the umbilical cord, joining all humans to Mother Earth.'
"Well that doesn't help." He slammed the book shut and moved it to one side picking up the next.
'Snakes have a primitive brain: survive, kill, hunt, breed. Others love them, I know. But snakes can't love back; love was never part of their survival requirements.'
"Oh what do you know?!" he snapped refusing to read anymore, carefully discarding the book in disgust.
'I am like a snake who has already bitten. I retreat from a direct battle while knowing the slow effect of the poison. - Anais Nin'
"Well that's cheerful. Good grief."
'Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous. - Chanakya.'
"Well Crowley certainly tries," he sighed.
'Snake looks scary for us and we look scary for the snake! Always try to see yourself from the eyes of others! - Mehmet Murat ildan.'
"Well this has all been…. interesting but it doesn't help me in the slightest," Aziraphale groaned picking up the last book. He turned the pages feeling rather dejected, barely reading when a sentence caught his eye.
'Any wild animal will feel threatened by a larger creature, such as a human. Snakes are no different. Almost all snakes will retreat to safety when scared or injured because they would rather not put up a fight and waste precious energy. Hissing coiling and tail shaking are behaviours any type of cornered snake will exhibit as a warning whether they are venomous or not.'
"Thank you!" he breathed. So Crowley's tendency to run is likely to be the nature of his inner snake and probably fear rather than disdain or being ungrateful. Well, that he can understand. Now to find him.
He couldn't have gone far, not miracling himself away, he was too injured and weak, plus he'd never leave his car far away. No, he had to be somewhere nearby. And knowing Crowley it would be somewhere expensive w d showy. A lightbulb moment struck. There were a few hotels in and around Soho, some more famous than others. But he had a starting point.
Placing his glasses on his desk he stepped out into the main shop. A quick miracle helped the remaining customers to leave and he set about shutting up shop.
XxXxX
Aziraphale noticed a crowd gathering on Regent Street, excited and terrified squeals in equal measure about a snake in a hotel.
"Crowley," he sighed. He changed his outfit and gave himself a hook, a bag and a box and marched towards the nearest hotel, the Hotel Cafe Royal.
Walking purposefully he climbed the steps and entered the lobby where a harrassed looking man in a nice suit and name badge almost threw himself at his feet.
"Please tell me you're from the Zoo!"
"Of course. I hear you have a snake in a room?"
"Our Tudor suite. We have no idea where it came from or what's happened to our guest, but apparently this sn...snake is enormous."
"When was the last time you saw your guest?"
"He hasn't been seen since check in. Do you need someone to go up with you?"
"No, no. Just a key to get in. I'll be fine on my own," Aziraphale smiled, wondering how he was going to miracle this little disaster away. He'd have to make everyone forget somehow. "How many people have seen this snake?"
"Just the maid. I've never seen someone so terrified, she quit on the spot," the hotel manager handed him a key card.
"Ah, right. Well let me have a look. Leave it with me. I'm sure everything is just tickety boo."
The angel gave a tight smile and headed for the lift cursing Crowley's cavalier attitude to human interactions.
The journey up was excruciatingly slow, when the doors finally opened he hurried to the door, slamming it shut behind him once he was inside.
"Crowley! This is the third time I've had to search for you!"
He moved from the entrance hall through the wood panelled rooms looking for the bedrooms. The first he found was empty but the duvet was missing from the bed. Sighing, he moved back and went in the other direction, finding the second bedroom at the other end of the suite. Duvets and pillows were piled high on the bed and the room was so stuffy it almost took his breath away.
"Crowley. You really must use the 'do not disturb' signs if you're going to hide away as a snake. The poor maid. Imagine walking in and seeing a man sized snake! A black and red one at that. Now really, is that sensible?"
A hissing began from under the duvet.
"Oh shush. You don't scare me you silly serpent and I'm not going anywhere until I see that you're safe and getting better." Aziraphale pulled a chair up beside the head of the bed and sat primly, waiting for the demon to make a move. Eventually a mop of red hair and two golden eyes appeared, peering out from under the duvets.
"What are you doing here? How did you even find me?"
"Does it matter? Really Crowley. Snake form in a hotel?"
"I hibernate better like that."
"Then might I again suggest utilising the 'do not disturb' sign in future?"
"Yes yes. Alright. I cocked up. Wouldn't be the first time. It's not like I was thinking straight," he sighed.
"How are you?"
"Getting there."
"Does it still hurt?"
"It always hurts, just to varying degrees." Crowley winced as he moved to sit up.
Aziraphale went to help but was batted away and he huffed, watching the demon expectantly.
"What now?" Crowley groaned, noticing the angel's arched eyebrow.
"Are you ever going to talk to me about it."
"About what?"
"About us."
Crowley rested his head back against the headboard, miracling his sunglasses into place before looking at the angel. "There isn't an 'us'. There can't be an 'us', not in the way you mean."
"But. You like me, you care for me. You're attracted to me."
The demon swallowed. "All true. But I'm not right for you. I'm not what you need me to be." There was a sad resignation in his voice.
"I don't understand."
The demon groaned and rolled his head to look at the ceiling. "I'm not good enough for you."
"Says who?"
"You! At every opportunity. Demon this, evil that, foul fiend, wicked serpent. I am what I am, Angel, and you can't or won't accept that. The slightest chance of some kind of redemption or me being remotely important and you're latched on to it like a limpet."
"That's not what I meant!"
"You don't believe that any more than I do. I'm not good enough or worthy enough."
"Now wait just a minute! I only wanted you to know who you were because it's part of you!"
"The thought that I was high enough up there to be someone special down there was just too good for you. Like it'd justify your involvement with me. And who could blame you? I mean let's be honest, I'm not good enough to belong anywhere. Banished from Heaven and can't hack hell. You should have let them extinguish me. Would have been easier on both of us."
"Don't you dare say that! I have been worried sick about you ever since you left the bookshop the first time round! I resorted to summoning the demon inside you just to get you back! And that was before I knew you might be something more to them. You were important to me long before that." He paused, silence thick with tension. "I would risk anything to save you Crowley. Just as you did me. I was always pleased to see you, especially when you rescued me, I just didn't know why. And then you appeared in that church, dancing and hobbling down the aisle. You saved my life but you went further than that. You knew how much my books meant to me and you saved them too. It might not have seemed like a lot to most people but it meant everything to me. It meant someone understood me. You understood me. And that's when I knew that I loved you." He ignored the crack in his voice and pursed his lips before continuing. "Now I am going to fix the snake sighting as a misunderstanding, you are going to get up and we are going to take you home where you can't frighten anymore poor unsuspecting maids."
Crowley was staring straight ahead at the wall, not daring to look at the angel, trying to keep himself together. "Home?" he managed to croak out.
"Well I've removed the blessing from your door. But if you don't feel up to looking after yourself properly you can stay with me. If you like."
The demon swallowed heavily. He wasn't used to emotions getting the better of him. He could probably count the times they had on one hand; when his car blew up and when he'd thought Aziraphale was gone, and now he didn't know what to do with them. The angel had awoken something inside him that he didn't understand. That scared him. So when all else failed him he said the only thing he could: "which has the most alcohol on hand?"