second chapter : Her eyes

He couldn't get his eyes off her the whole walk to her common room. He had hoped she'd take the longer route, but she knew every shortcut to Malfoy's disappointment. For the first time since the beginning of their schooling at Hogwarts, he managed to talk to her without any argument. Was it even real? He had dreams and insomnias about it. About her. About how her hair actually felt like when she just got out of the shower, about the softness of her skin, about diving his whole soul in her hazelnut eyes. And there he was, using gentleman's manners to escort her to her room. Just a couple of minutes and it would be ever. Just a couple of minutes and he could go back to his dreams and wishes.

"Malfoy?"

He nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. He wasn't expecting her to talk to him, ever since she mentioned not doing small talk.

"Yes Granger?"

"I've been trying not to slack on my prefect duties."

"What has kept you from doing so?"

"I happen to have… a condition."

"A condition?"

"You see, I've been trying to show everyone that Hogwarts is indeed the safest place for us, against the Dark Lord. But it does not protect us from what's happening within, and within our own selves."

He waited, worried she might stop talking if he interrupted her. After a long pause, she continued "I don't mean to go full black and then white all the time. I don't mean for my temper to burst, out of the sudden, to expose me at my weakest. These past few years have been a torture so I tried and talk to Harry and Ron, but they were absolutely insensible to my torments. Nothing in the magic world seemed to be there to help me navigate through this very difficult path in life, so I ended up asking for help… em, you know, muggle-style."

She stopped. She was probably waiting for him to bash her for her being muggle-born, he thought. That made him sad. For too long had he been blinded by this hatred his father had inseminated in his mind.

"Don't try and apologize," she said "I don't need your pity."

He didn't say a word. Eventually she kept on going "I needed to understand what was going on with me, so I went and saw what's called a psychiatrist. They'r-

"I know what they are."

"Then you must understand what happened." She stopped and sat on the cold stone of one of the hallway benches. "After a handful of appointments and running some tests, they diagnosticated me with a bipolar disorder. At first I was relieved, I finally had a name for what was going on with myself. It felt like I was handed the key to a world I couldn't quite key into before. A world full of people that led me to believe that it was just mood swings, and that those swings were happening in the same way to everyone. Which they don't, not when you're like me and you suffer from that kind of mental illness. What I don't get is how I turned from relieved to feeling even worse knowing what I was suffering from." She sighed "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I just wish you understood better that I'm keeping up with those duties at my own pace. You being head-boy should probably know about it."

"Have you told Potter and Weasel yet?"

"I haven't."

"Can I ask why?"

"That's good enough for today's conversation, maybe," she made quotation marks with fingers ""next time", if that ever happens, I will."

"Last question : why do you trust me with such information?"

She smiled "Because I myself have acknowledged the fact that you've changed, and even if you hadn't, you'd have no one to tell to because you're a lone wolf, or everybody would take you for a fool for having talked to Hermione Granger about her mental health."

That made them both chuckle.

"Touché."

She rose up suddenly, and he knew it as soon as she started walking away from him, that it would take a lot more work and efforts to make her talk about herself again, just like tonight.

"Wait!" He had to. He had to keep her around more, although they might get in trouble if being seen out, and most importantly seen together.

She froze and turned around, looking at him with some tears in her eyes.

"Hey hey hey don't cry," he motioned towards her "I'm not good with people but at least I can tell when someone needs comforting.".

"Don't come anywhere near me! Like I need comforting from someone like you!" she shouted.

He looked at her. Was she the same person she was minutes, heck no, seconds ago? Hermione's expression had gone from tender to… heinous? She just said she would talk to him more, confessed she saw change in him. He didn't understand.

"B-But-"

"Oh my fucking god Mr Pompeous Malfoy, can't you ever take a no for what it is or will you always cling onto one thing and don't let it go until you get weary of it? Am I to soon be on the imperpetuable conquest list of yours which you made no effort to deny its existence? Are you so full of yourself you thought a nice little chat and complimenting me once or twice would do the trick? Is it a bet? Is Hermione Granger, the book word and homework nerd, needy enough to ply under Draco Malfoy's attempt?"

He shivered at the mention of his name. "Draco" …he had been dreaming of her saying it. But not this way. She was still looking at him, hatred in her eyes, panting from her rant.

He turned around, but couldn't take his eyes off of this vision of her. He felt sad for her, and pity.

"I'm so sorry" he said "until next time you initiate the conversation, I won't trouble you again.", broke eye contact, and walked away.

end of the second chapter