A/N: Pay attention to the titles of the chapters… they paint a pretty picture. ENJOYYYY!

Chapter 6: Smile While You Can

Z sighed, as she viewed her own room, the right hand side this time though. She had never felt this kind of sorrow looking at pinky's bed. That had been her nickname for Syd, especially for when she needed to tease her; a spear went through her heart when she realized she'd never use the name for her again. She sighed again, as Sky Tate, the boy she had kissed, was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, taking in the room, both sides, with Z standing in there.

Had they been standing in the same room, in the same position, under different circumstances, maybe things would've been different. Maybe they would've followed the kiss up with something a bit more intense. Maybe they would've been in the same room, not standing five feet apart, but an inch close. Most of all, they wouldn't have been here to go through the belongings of a dead person… even more so their dead friend.

He slowly enters the room, and she asks him, "You wanna start the lovely task?" her voice was loaded with sarcasm so heavy, Sky couldn't even look at her.

"please Z, let's do this together" he said, without much emotion. Even though it had been all his idea, he was starting to have second doubts. Sky didn't even think it'd be this disconcerting when he'd actually have to face the task… easier said than done, it seems.

Sky's POV

She nodded thankfully, and together, we started searching her room. I watched, as she went through Syd's music dvds and posters, and heaps and heaps of magazines, where Syd had done interviews, and appeared on cover pages, or had even submitted articles to be published. Syd seems to have a varied range of interests… or had. I feel my heart twist again, why did I have to pitch this idea again? Why couldn't I simply agree with Z that we'd find nothing here; that my dead friend was not lying? Feel like I've done a crime… it'll be even worse if I find out I was wrong. It's simply macabre.

She herself looks so very pale. I know what she might be going through, after all, in the three years she has been at SPD, Syd had become her best friend, the girls, no matter how many differences they had, just needed one thing in common to hit it off so well. Maybe giving them the same room to share wasn't such a bad idea on Cruger's part after all.

But then something interesting happens, well for a minute or two, as i rummage through her belongings, I spot a familiar face in one of the pictures saved in her laptop, (Z knew the password). I think I haven't seen it in almost what? 10? 12 years! I chuckle, a little, wondering how Sydney knew this idiot. Z comes around, wondering what i have seen, and she also looks astonished.

"Syd knew Brian Collins? Oh My God! How did i not know?"

"Wait YOU knew Brian Collins?" I ask, and she looks at me, her face turning red, "how do YOU know Brian Collins?" she retorts.

"Well i used to know him" i say, "but you go first, cuz i asked first"

"Alright, promise me you won't tell anybody," she said looking nervous, "and I m only telling you this because you told me your secret about Bella..." she trailed off, looking embarrassed, and i nodded, that i won't make fun of her... or at least I'll try not to make fun of her, "He's the guy who..." she tilted her head in a knowing way.
My head flipped a 360 as i realized what she was saying, and whistled! Never knew my old buddy had it in him! "Damn"

"Shut your pie hole" she said, irritated, and I continued to grin like an idiot, not being able to stop, and then finally when i stop, she asks me how i knew him, "Well, when I used to go to normal school, like NOT that dumb Forth Willis Academy, (the private school for snobs) he used to be my buddy, u know? On of the close ones, but then mom sent me to Forth, and i never saw him again"

"Awww you poor thing!" she said, with not the least bit of pity in her voice, and placed a hand on my shoulder, remembering, "He was one of Jack's cronies that WASN'T from the street. I still wonder how he got me in bed" We chuckle, but at the same time, wonder HOW Syd knew him...

Suddenly I notice my name, well my last name written on one of the open magazines pages. Brian leaves my mind as this intrigues me more, and so I pick it up, curious to see what made an appearance there. It's an interview of Syd with the magazine Starcross, a friendship day special. I wonder how I don't know of it.

I show it to Z, and she takes a look at it, and nods, "yeah, that happened about two weeks back. That's Greta Sterling," she pointed to the host.

"I know who Greta Sterling is" who didn't know the host of the stupidest reality show in the universe? Wait I wouldn't have if Bella hadn't made me watch all six seasons of it! Anyway, since Z already knows a lot about the interview, and since we don't have anything more to do after Syd's room, I decide to read what my blonde friend said about me to Greta Sterling. I skip the part about her albums and stuff, you know random reporter schtick, and go to the 'friends' part.

Greta: So miss Drew, your new album, for the first time in your career, is not self centric. What inspired this change?

Syd: Well, Greta, this time around, I have some pretty good friends who stick around, so well, they didn't let me make a song all about Me.

Greta: A reference to your song 'Me'! Brilliant! *they laugh*

Greta: So is every song about a different friend? Or is it something deeper? A connection to all your friends?

Syd: A little bit of both, because since every song is about a different friend, it HAS to include my bond to them.

Greta: would you mind telling us a bit more about these amazing friends of yours? *to the crowd* They really do sound amazing no? *Crowd Cheers*

Syd: Well the first one is for my best friend in the universe, who helped through a number of bad breakups, Elizabeth Delgado, the song 'Don't Stay With Me' is my tribute to her. I want to let her know that she is the most amazing, caring, supporting person in the universe, and that though I say that I can handle life on my own, and that I don't need her to act as my big sister, all protective and whatnot, I know I can't make it without her. So when I say don't stay with me, she knows that I mean 'don't leave me'.

To be honest, that was beautiful, I never knew the girls had such an amazing bond! Hell the only thing I know of, or remember is that one time, last year, after Syd had broken up with some guy called Mico? No Rico. No wait Linco? Something with an 'o' in the end, Z had helped Syd take revenge. They had, perfectly legally, covered the guy's WHOLE car in duct tape, and then posted a picture of it.

Good times!

I watch, as a tear rolls down her eyes. I wonder if she's thinking about the times she spent with her, or she's thinking that just yesterday we were taking blood samples that were all hers. I think she read it from behind me. Aww it must be so terrible for her, as all the memories must've come rushing back! I still read ahead though.

Greta: what about this song, 'Butter'? It's the most hilarious of your tracks. *to the audience* am I right?

Syd: Yes Greta, it is the most hilarious, because the person it is about is practically just as goofy as the guy in the song. He likes to think while doing headstands, he asks long drawn out questions that aren't really questions but leave us asking a lot of questions, he is always, always confused, and he rigs his computer to make toast for him. But he is an absolute angel, and we absolutely love that he's there, and he's like this cute little Fuzzball. I don't know what else to say about him except that every minute of every day I want to cuddle him.

Greta: Awww

Seriously awww… Bridge is literally a Fuzzball! Next is mine, I see my name... So I read further. Z's still reading over my shoulder.

Greta: what an amazing friend *to the audience* right? *Crowd Cheers* *Syd Blushes*

Greta: So who next? There's a song, 'Protective Blanket'; who is that based on?

Syd: Oh that one! To be honest, its my favorite of the album. It is about this guy, who I consider my protective blanket, or like a stuffed toy, that a child clings on to when they're scared. Schuyler Tate, he is massive, both in size, and in mind, and well, the song came to me when I recalled a fight where he threw himself over me to shield me from an explosion. A true protective blanket! He doesn't like to talk much or speak much, but he can take all my rants without protest, so I enjoy talking to him.

Horrible can't even begin to describe what I feel. Self-loathing, maybe a little, suicidal, maybe a lot. HOW COULD I EVER CONSIDER THE THOUGHT THAT SYD WAS BETRAYING US? She called me her goddamned security blanket! She xpected me to protect her! And not only was i not here for her, but I am also getting her room searched, with MY theory that SHE is guilty of all of this. Damn i am f—ed up!
But I don't get the time to hate myself much more, as Z is calling me; I don't even know when she left the place from behind me, but she looks forlorn.

"yeah Z?" I ask.

"are you going to help? I haven't found anything yet" YES I'm starting to think I was wrong oh so very wrong. Why did I have this idea in the first place? And the penalty Z put is also quite bad. But then again, what else can we do about it? we can't just search every male cadet's room. We have to find a better way. Thankfully, Syd was the last of the people who were closest to us, so it wont hurt that much, searching others' rooms. Just random faces in the mind, like the real case victims and people, it wont be as emotional. I must be a monster to be thinking of stuff like this. Z looks so hurt that I think she finds it difficult to even speak.

I stay quiet too now, and the playfulness of the Brian convo has been drained by the interview, and the million blocks of guilt, and so, well, we search. We search and search and search, but find nothing. At the end of the day, after more than three hours of labor, we find nothing. It's about ten fifteen, and I feel nowhere as sleepy as I usually would. Maybe the trauma and whatnot, or maybe the fact that I haven't eaten anything in hours. Maybe the guilt, (highest probability) Syd wasn't guilty, and she's dead. How? I don't know, and I don't want to know... But I have to know.

X-X-X

Z's POV

Sky asks me if I'll join him for dinner, but I think by the look on my face, I think he knew before I said it, that I'd pass. I really can't eat anything. We agreed to meet after he has dinner, and I get a hold of myself. he was wrong, and I knew it, and to e honest I don't want to search any more rooms, but we have to. It's our only chance. I'm broken I think. That interview Sky was reading, I don't think he noticed, but I was reading it over his shoulder, and reading what my best-friend-slash-almost-sister said about me, and him, and Jack, and Wally, and Bridge, and even Kat. She went all the way to write songs for us, she said that she counted on us… and we couldn't be there to save her damned life. I think I should've never left her. Maybe then we'd have died together. And that would've been a million times better than this. And her Mr. security blanket? He was pioneering towards getting her persecuted. Wasn't that ironic?

But I think when he read that interview, he was just as shook as I was. After that he stopped propounding his 'Syd is a traitor' theory.

Anyway, that doesn't mean that I am okay now that I've punctured his ego and made him feel bad. I'm not okay. And that is the simplest reason why right now, I am, instead of heading to my own room to sulk as I should, I am making my way to a secret place, well, if you consider a girls' secret a secret. It was something that used to belong to Syd, but she shared the luxury with me, because girls talk. I myself had never set eyes on the stuff in my life, because it was always way too expensive for me. But for her it was a comfort. She told me to help myself with it whenever I wish. I'm sure she wont mind right now.

She had hidden it in her SPD locker, which cadets usually use for storing stuff they never need. Part of the reason is the fact that descending 16 stories underground, four of which by stairs, was not a real seller. But today I am taking the leisure to toil. My locker had been almost empty, and still was. The only thing I keep there is an extra pair of undergarments, and a spare uniform, and a red jacket, which always pulled a few strings in her heart. My mother's jacket, stained in blood.

But that isn't why I am here. I go over to Syd's locker, which is filled with only one thing. And that also tree crates of it.

TX Whiskey.

750L per bottle, 20 bottles per crate, three crates. I don't think I can even do the math. Well, it's enough to wash away my guilt… at least for now.

I take one in my hand, mindful of my partner in crime(solving) is 16 floors over me, and I have to go to him in half an hour, so just one for now. I'll come back later. I've been longing to do this for a long, long time; ever since i got here.

Sighing, I take a long, long gulp, draining almost half the bottle.

A/N: I wasn't planning to add the drinking part... at least not so soon... BUT I think my buddy Z Tate knows where the drinking part came from... :D