Never Alone
Haruhi had developed a bit of an odd habit within the past three weeks. Whenever she say any of the Hosts in the hall, she would always duck a corner, and though she wasn't entirely sure why she was doing it, she was terrified of the consequences should she ever do otherwise. So she continued to hide, and she oftentimes found herself tucked away in any of the massive libraries Ouran featured. Sometimes she went for the books, but others, others she went for the memories.
"This library's gigantic Yori! Mine isn't nearly so large."
"Thanks Haru-chan, you know my family has always been big on being educated. We've actually got a few of these big libraries."
"How many is a few?"
"Follow me and I'll show you!"
It made her feel selfish, to come to places like these in attempts to catch glimpses of what once was. She felt as if she were desecrating them by seeing them again. These memories were of Haruhi Fujioka and Yori, and those two people as they were would never exist again. Even if she wanted to see him, really see him, just one more time. In person, not a memory, so she could really feel again what she had felt all those years ago. Even for a moment. She couldn't though, so instead she settled for brief flashes of how he was and might've been.
"You know Haru-chan, my Mother has been talking..."
"Oh? What about?" I don't look up from my work as I paint the clay doll I had just formed,
"Well, she's been talking about marrying me off," before my hands jerk in surprise and smear the figure in black.
"Marrying you off...?" I didn't want to alone, but if he was off married than surely his wife would allow no time for me,
"She's been talking to your Father Haru-chan, she wants to arrange something between us." and the worst part was, that when I found I could be that wife, I almost wanted it to be so. I wanted to tie him down so he'd never go off and I'd never be alone again, not like before, even if it meant binding him to a marriage he would never want.
"Oh."
"We could really do it you know, get married." Yori had smiled then, and he put a hand on my arm "We're good enough friends that we could be with each other forever, and happy to some degree." We could, I knew we could, but I also knew that he deserved love far more than just 'to some degree' "Then you'd be the Mistress of the house, and all the libraries could be yours!" And I knew it was awful of me, but I pretended.
"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I can't really say no, can I? I mean, just look at all these books! Plus your cooks make excellent ootoro." I pretended that I could really make him happy if I said yes.
"Excuse me?" Haruhi turned her head to see a girl standing next to her
"Yes?" She closed the book she'd been flipping through and fully turned so she could look the stranger in the eyes.
"I'm afraid I haven't seen you before, and that book is rather advanced for a first year, so I suggest you just give up and hand it to someone who can actually comprehend it." Ah, so that's how it was going to be.
"With all due respect, my age is just about as much of an indicator of what I can and cannot comprehend as my gender, so I ask you leave me be while I read, and comprehend, the book I've already checked out. Though as soon as I finish, I'll be happy to hand it off to whoever would like to read it."
Just as the girl opened her mouth ('I wonder what come out next...') those two twins had popped up from seeming nowhere. "Oh, what's this Kaoru?"
"I believe we've stumbled across that fainting girl."
"So it would seem, you know what that means..."
"Of course, boss would be furious if we didn't escort her back to the Club and show her a good time!" As it turned out, their idea of escorting her was grabbing and dragging her to whatever location they so desired. She appreciated it though, at the very least she still had her book. That, however, did not stop her from struggling almost the whole way through. By the time she had given up, they had reached the double doors she knew led to a room that had once been used solely to practice dancing.
"Hey Tono, we brought a guest!" Them speaking in tandem was causing her a headache
"How dare you treat a lady in such a fashion!" Tamaki glided across the room and extended a hand to Haruhi, who had decided to just stay sitting on the ground "May I be of assistance princess?" He flashed a prize winning grin (Ouran Smile of the Month every month since his first year)
"No thanks"
...and then promptly deflated
A mutter could be heard from Kyoya "That's strange, the twins aren't usually so friendly around guests..."
"Well, anyone who can do that to our King is good in our book." Hikaru explained
"Hm..." He would have to observe.
"You two remind me of some people I used to know." It came out before she knew what was happening
"Really Haru-Chan? I don't think I've ever met people like Kao-Chan and Hika-chan before!" This boy was familiar too, though she was likely just projecting because of his habit of calling her Haru-chan.
"Yes, they do. Her name was Hana, and his was Katashi." It didn't matter anyway
"Hear that Kaoru? I always knew you were really feminine."
"Hikaru... You're embarrassing me..." She supposed this was their famed 'twincest' act, though she really didn't understand the appeal, or why they were doing it before their club had even started.
"I'm sorry Kao-"
"Actually, Hikaru, you're the one that reminds me of Hana." The twins froze mid caress
"Wha-" Kaoru broke off laughing
"I'm sorry Hika, it's just...!" He wiped away his tears of mirth
"Kaoru! What does she know anyway!" Hikaru went off to be grumpy and Kaoru followed to apologize
"Hana was always like that with Katashi, but she really loved him."
"Were they siblings too Haru-Chan?"
"Ah, um, no, but they were quite close. I imagine by now they would've been long married." Haruhi prayed they didn't notice her wording. She shouldn't have let loose like this, but these people gave her such a sense of familiarity.
"Would've been?" Tamaki intoned, she had been informed of their names by Reiko (and generally hearing girls fawn over them).
She had almost forgotten he was there. Kyoya was too, but he seemed to be more watching intently to see her reaction. Almost like-
"Sebastian"
Shoot, she'd said it out loud.
"What was that princess?"
"I haven't seen them for a long time, not since they moved out with my old foreign friend, Sebastian." She had to go before she let something else slip, it didn't matter how sentimental this room made her feel. Haruhi cleared her throat and stood "I'm sorry, but it seems it's almost time for your club to start, I should excuse myself."
Before she could leave Tamaki swept on foot back and bowed slightly while extending a white rose "The host club will be hosting a dance, we'd be most honoured if you'd attend."
"I can't dance." It was pitiful really, anything in any of the arts had always been a bust.
"Really Haru-Chan? Why not?" Hunny popped up his head from the pie he'd found himself occupied by (he was trying to experiment and branch out, it just wasn't the same)
"I...I never had time to learn. I tried once." She had, in this very room actually, and all it led to was her being right back here.
"Well, this is a music room, and the twins seem to have grown quite fond of you. If you'd like I'm sure some of us could help you learn before club." Kyoya had chimed in here. She understood perfectly, really he was trying to get her to start attending club so she'd buy his ridiculous photos and other various merchandise. Perhaps he was trying to observe her more as well, she couldn't be entirely sure (Tamaki apparently wasn't sure of anything at all, as he let out an undignified "Kyoya?!" before remembering her presence).
"I would hate to waste your time, I really should be going. Thank you for having me." She began to walk toward the door before she was further distracted
"You could never waste our time, it's been a pleasure. Please do visit us soon!" She slammed the door behind her and ran to the nearest empty classroom before breaking down.
Angry tears flowed down her cheeks. How dare she? How dare she intrude on these people's lives and feel happy when she was death. How dare she try and replace all her friends with these boys, no matter how they made her feel. She had died, and all the others had too. There would be no room for her in these people's lives.
But God, it just wasn't fair.
"Haru-Chan?"
"Haru-Chan?" I drew in a sharp intake of breath and kept my face angled away from him
"Yes Yori?"
"You're not really fine like you said you were, are you Haru-Chan?"
"Course I am, why wou-" He hugged me from behind
"You don't have to lie, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know."
A noise had emerged from the back of my throat before I could stop it
"I love you, you know." He told me
My response was to turn in his arms to face him
"I feel so alone"
"You'll never be alone again."
It had been a lie.
"Yes Senpai?" No
"Are you okay Haru-Chan?"
"Of course I am." She really wasn't
The small senior smiled sadly up at her
"You don't have to lie, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know." Not again
A noise emerged from her throat, somewhere between a choked sob and a cry of anguish.
"You're a really nice girl, if something's bothering you I wanna be able to help." But it couldn't have been the same, could it? This boy didn't know her, he couldn't love her.
"I'm not supposed to be here. It's just- I feel so alone." Love her like Yori had
"I'll be your friend Haru-Chan, and then you'll never be alone again." Like she had Yori
"...Thank you." But just for right now,
"No, thank you Haru-Chan. For being my friend!" (He smiled at her)
She could pretend.
A/N: Just one more chapter. I told myself I had to write at least 2,000 words for this so I can actually stop at 5 chapters like I said.
...It's only 1,903. Just count the authors not too and that's basically 2,000, right (Not right, it's still only 1961)
-Lucas_Gilbert