Episode 5: Quidditch for Beginners

Quidditch was the most popular wizarding sport in the United Kingdom. Although it got inspirations from various other sports, it was an original creation. Every year in Hogwarts, the four houses competed against each other for the Quidditch Cup. The tournament for 2005/2006 began in November 2005. Each month held one match. The four houses were put into a group. The top two teams in the group will go head to head in the final. The scores of the group matches were:

Ravenclaw-300:150-Gryffindor

Hufflepuff-270:280-Slytherin

Gryffindor-120:200-Hufflepuff

Ravenclaw-80:200-Slytherin

Hufflepuff-380:270-Ravenclaw

Slytherin-110:210-Gryffindor

Hufflepuff and Slytherin ended up finishing in the top two of the group. In May 2006, the final was held. The stands were filled with yellow and green colors. Betting rounds were going nuts. For Hufflepuff, the team members were,

Keeper: Jarvis O'Shea (7th)

Chasers: Larry Fields (5th), Klaus Johannsen (6th), Mahira Dixit (6th)

Beaters: Matthew Gibson (5th), Ally McGuinty (7th)

Seeker: Tanya Phillips (5th)

For Slytherin it was,

Keeper: Emile Hargreeves (5th)

Chasers: Ray Noviat (5th), Mimi Larson (4th), Artemis Croll (7th)

Beaters: Barry Crews (6th), Andrea Ramirez (7th)

Seeker: Phyllis Von Sherp (6th)

Almost every student was seen in attendance. The announcer was Sean Wittford. He began his announcing.

Sean: Hello fellow wizards! Welcome to the final of the Quidditch World Cup, the only thing that was not screwed over by Lord Voldemort during his Hogwarts time. In the final we have from one side the barely kind, somewhat humble and food lovers of Hufflepuff. On the other side, we have the pureblooded snob jobs of Slytherin. Merlin's beard what is going to happen in this game?!

The match began at 12:00 pm. The players began moving around with their brooms. Emile and Matt and the best brooms for each team.

Sean: Ray has the quaffle. He's looking forward to shooting it through the hoop.

Ray gets hit by a bludger wacked by Matt.

Sean: Matty has knocked down Ray.

The quaffle came in the hands of Mahira.

Sean: Mahira is swerving all across the field. She looks like determined.

Mahira was able to score 10 points for Hufflepuff.

Sean: 10 points for the Huffs. Now we have to witness all this crap till one of these seeker catches a snitch.

The teams kept trading points. Two hours had passed away. Nobody scored for half an hour. The seekers and beaters kept getting hit by bludgers. The crowd looked bored. In the crowd,

Diana: God this is boring!

Tom: Why are we even here?

Henry: It's because of Ray and Matt.

Diana: Why?

Henry: Because they are our friends.

Tom: I regret my life decisions.

Sean was sitting on the sidelines, finishing up his third water bottle,

Sean: My fucking god!

Sean was frustrated.

Sean: How long will this continue? I mean seriously? I'm not even getting paid for this bullshit anyway! Blondie tries to score but of fucking course it's saved by the goddamn keeper! I legitimately can find more amusement from snorting butterbeer of a dementor's belly button!

Suddenly, the snitch appeared in front of him. Tanya flew in from of him and tried to catch it. She ended up failing.

Sean: What the flippity flap fuck was that?! Apparently we have a serial announcer destroyer on the field. Do you want to make Meiji an orphan?

Jarvis called for a time out. The teams got some rest. They were exhausted. After a while, the game continued. This time, a certain pattern was noticeable.

Sean: Larry has committed a foul.

One minute later,

Sean: Andrea has committed a foul.

One minute later,

Sean: Ally has committed a foul.

This went on for 10 whole minutes.

Sean: Now Jarvis has committed a foul! Are you for real?! What the actual fuck?! I mean there's like 700 fouls in Quidditch. Are they trying to break a record? Are they creating new fouls? What is this shit load of fuck?! Merlin's beard!

The crowd were a bit perplexed but ultimately related to Sean's outburst. After an hour, another time out was called by Phyllis. The crowd was pretty much dead. Again in the crowd,

Diana:*snores

Tom:*snores

Henry: Wake up.

Tom: Let me sleep.

Henry: Are you really gonna sleep here?

Diana: Yes I will. Sweet dreams now.

Sean needed to entertain them. He assembled some magical instruments.

Sean: This is something I have been practicing since first year. I hope you all enjoy.

Sean sighed. The music began,

Sean: Somebody once told me

Diana and Tom woke up. Henry's eyes were as wide as Hagrid.

Sean: The world is gonna roll me

Sean sang the song in an American accent. The students recognized what song he was singing. For him, it was a reflex. He thought the audience would find his singing funny, which was the whole point. He continued singing. After he finished, for some odd reason much to his surprise, the crowd cheered.

Henry: Hell yeah!

Tom: That's our boy!

Diana: I didn't know he could sing.

Sean's singing turned out to be the most fun thing about the final. He found it extremely odd. He waited for the timeout to end. Luckily for him, the game continued soon after he finished singing. Slytherin were 90 points ahead of Hufflepuff. They were dominating against them. Suddenly the snitch reappeared.

Sean: Tanya and Phyllis are going after the snitch like it's a 6% discount coupon at Honeydukes. Phyllis is ahead. But Tanya's speed is increasing rapidly.

Tanya and Phyllis were duking it out. They both extended their arms. A bludger was coming after their way. The bludger hit Tanya. Phyllis went ahead but realized the snitch also got hit. Tanya was on the ground. She got up and showed the audience the snitch. The yellow side of the crowd cheered loudly. The green side seemed down and tired.

Sean: Tanya has caught the snitch! Hufflepuff have won 2006 Quidditch Cup 420 by 360! I can finally finish this goddamn fucking bullshit!

The Hufflepuff students held a party. The cup was placed in Professor Neville's office. He gave a speech.

Neville: Students of Hufflepuff, I am proud of your team today. Jarvis, our captain lead the team beautifully. Larry, Klaus and Mahira did a fine job as chasers. Their movements were great. Matt and Ally played the game like it was baseball. And of course the MVP of the game, without a doubt is Tanya. She took a hit and was still able to catch the snitch. Congratulations everyone. Cheers!

Everyone raised their glasses. They all took a sip. They then all spat it out.

Matt: Eww!

Jarvis: Why is it so salty?

Sam: I have no clue.

Neville: Calm down students.

Jarvis: Who would do this?

Sam: This feels like a prank.

Tanya: Hold on. Who is known for pranks?

They all thought for a moment. Matt immediately realized to it was.

Matt: SEAN!

Sean, Henry and Diana were spying on them. As soon as they heard Sean's name, they left. They were laughing their asses off.

Sean: Fuck yes!

Henry: The salty drink never gets old.

Diana: They got what they deserve for giving us the worst game of Quidditch imaginable.

The next day, Sean was approached by Headmistress McGongall.

McGonagall: You were the announcer of the finals. Weren't you?

Sean: Yes I was.

McGonagall: I have to say that you did an excellent job. Though I would have preferred it without the foul language, you kept the audience engaged. Especially with your singing.

Sean: It was improvisation.

McGonagall: You have quite a talent. Maybe perhaps you can use it in the future.

Sean: If you find me fit, then I can try.

McGonagall: Very well. Now off you go.

Sean was then later approached by Matt.

Matt: What the hell man!?

Sean: What?

Matt: Why did you hex our drinks?

Sean: What are you talking about?

Matt: Because of you, I now tasted salt in my chocolate cake this morning.

Sean: Why were you eating a chocolate cake in the morning?

Matt: Why should I not?

Sean: True that.

Matt: But still not cool.

Sean: Consider it revenge for the shitty match you guys showcased.

Matt: Hey!

Sean: What defense do you have?

Matt: There were many points. More than all the other matches.

Sean: The game went on for more than six fucking hours mate!

Matt: It was not my fault!

Sean: Then who is at fault here?

Matt: The snitch.

Sean: That damn snitch!

Matt laughed. Sean joined in on the laughter. They went to join up their friends.

Tom: Hey there X-Factor.

Sean: Shut thy mouth!

Ray: Congratulations Matt!

Matt: It was a good game.

Sean, Henry and Tom glared at him.

Matt: Okay! The game sucked donkey cock.

Ray: I know. My hands still feel like jelly.

Matt: My groin is numb.

Tom: Hold on.

Others: What?

Tom: Aren't we forgetting something?

Everyone began thinking.

Serena came up to them,

Serena: The exams.

Sean: Oh shit!

Henry: The exams!

Ray: OWLS!

Matt: Merlin's beard!

Tom: This next month will be worse than the final.

Serena: It sure will be.

All the boys aside from Tom left.

Serena: Hey Tom.

Tom: Yeah?

Serena: Want to study for the exams together?

Tom: Yeah sure, why not? It'll prove to be better than if I read with those chums.

Serena: Yeah it might.

Tom: So tonight?

Serena: Yep. Tonight.

They agreed on the deal. Tom looked happy.

Sean: Scored a date huh?

Tom: It's not a date. We're studying.

Sean: A study date then.

Tom: My god!

They both shared a chuckle. The next month will be a challenge though. Even Sean knew that. Nobody had a clue on what to do. They needed to figure it out. But that could be done later. The boys enjoyed the day with their pets. Sean was with his dog Meiji while Henry was with his cat Bubsy. The others boys spend most of their time petting Meiji and Bubsy since they didn't have any. They had some lively chats about Quidditch, food and taxes. But the mood went down after the realization of OWLS. The gang members had to figure out their next month's schedule in order to pass the exams. But for now, they enjoyed life with each other.