A/N: Hello True Believers! Yet another look into Potterland before returning back to the Narutoverse. This was something I started well over a year ago. This is a post-HBP, post-Hogwarts/Final Battle fics. Sadly, this was yet another concept I've had a problem working with. And no, this is not really a X-Over/Fusion type fic, but more of an imprint of another character onto our favorite green eyed wizard.

For those who are fans of the T.V. Show "House M.D." you'll really appreciate this small snippet. Now, I've seen a few fics where Harry either worked at Princeton Plainsboro and I've seen one where he was being raised by Greg House, but I've yet to see one where is Harry acts like house and even has a somewhat similar disposition.

The premise of this fic is that Harry was injured by a dark curse in the Final Battle. As a result he lost some of his leg and has phantom pains which he takes potions for and uses a cain. He is also an Auror, as in canon, rather than be a doctor/healer type. While I think I've gotten the character down pretty well, I just couldn't do anything more with this concept.

So enjoy this "Harry MD" type ficlet!

"You know Harry, you can't go on like this..." said a dark haired man with a slightly chubby, yet kind face.

"I get by..." said Harry dismissing his friend's concern.

"B-But that's all you seem to do..." his friend frowned. "You're not like you used to be."

"What the bloody hell do you expect Neville?" asked Harry bitterly, "I've changed, the entire world forced me to. If the Wizarding World could take care of itself, I wouldn't be here. Instead because of incompetence from people like Fudge and the machinations of people like Dumbledore and Scrimgeour, I'm here singlehandedly saving the world from itself!"

"You forget your more than slight addiction to pain potions, the fact that you have no friends except yours truly, and all you ever do is work," replied Neville.

"Okay, first, I'm not addicted to pain potions, I take them regularly as part of my pain management regimen, because... SURPRISE! I'm in pain, or did you not notice the limp and the cane?" asked Harry sarcastically. "Now then, moving on... Second, about the ONLY thing Snape got right was the comparison to the Dark Arts and a Hydra. Cut one head off, three more sprout up in it's place, even meaner and nastier than the original. Did I mention that I've got this people saving thing?"

Neville sighed, "And your friends?"

"You're the only one too stubborn to learn that as 'The Boy Who Lived' I'm not allowed to have any REAL friends," said Harry, "Besides, It's not as if I don't get out, remember the Christmas Charity Ball a few months back? I was accompanied by this striking young lady who..."

"She isn't a 'date' if you have to pay for her services," said Neville sternly.

"I know I just said this, but if you didn't get it before I'll say it again... Hello, 'Boy Who Lived'... All I have to do is whisper the word 'date' and I have a plethora of witches lining up to shack it up with me for the night."

"M-Mr. Potter... Did you mention s-something about a date..." said a rather beautiful girl, blushing a bright red that reminded both men of their friend Ginny in their early years at school.

Harry turned to Neville, "Told you." He then continued on their way. The girl had a crestfallen expression on her face as the Wizarding World's Savior walked off without even sparing her a second glance.

"Sorry..." said Neville as sent her an apologetic glance at the girl before following after his friend. "You know that was pretty rude..."

"The sooner those sheep stop thinking of me as some bloody mythic hero and start standing on their own feet, the better," Harry replied.

"Not that I disagree with you, because really, I see your point, but there are OTHER ways of doing it," said Neville, "Besides, some fangirls like being treated like trash, might even make them try harder..."

Harry shuddered. "That's why Dark Lords invented Avada Kedavra. Even the most sadistic fangirls wouldn't want to be near me if I started flinging a few of those around."

"Okay Harry, I'll point out two reasons why your reasoning is flawed. One, the final battle..." said Neville before being interrupted.

"Yeah, but THOSE idiots were Death Eaters that I used that curse on, not innocents or fangirls," said Harry as if explaining to a small child, "Once I shift the focus of my spells, namely Unforgivables, on THEM, they will be running away from me, rather than to me. So, what was the second one?"

Neville rolled his eyes, "Bellatrix Lestrange."

"What does ole Bella have to do with anything?"

"Well... If she wasn't Voldemort's number one fangirl..."

"Touche..."

"I'm just saying you can be a little nicer, that's all," Neville said.

"And do what? Sign autographs? Kiss babies?" asked Harry sarcastically as he limped down the corridor. "Give that one special fangirl that 'Date of a Lifetime'?"

"Do you enjoy being painfully difficult?" asked Neville.

"Well, it does have a certain appeal..." said Harry thoughtfully, "Unfortunately, I haven't managed to get rid of you yet..."

Harry then took a swig out of the flask attached to the belt around his waist. Neville gave him a disapproving look.

"I am NOT addicted to the potions," Harry explained as if talking to a small child, "I am in PAIN. The potions help me DEAL WITH the pain..."

"No matter how many times you repeat that, neither one of us will ever believe that," said Neville.

"Yeah, yeah... So what's it going to take to get you to FINALLY leave me alone?" asked Harry as he took another swig. "Hmm... Maybe I should go sex up Abbott... You think she's still got that massive crush on me?"

Neville rolled his eyes. "Not a chance Potter. Maybe a few years ago I would have had to worry about you charming the knickers off my fiancee, but she's completely immune to you now. Of course if you weren't such an unbearable jerk to everyone around you..."

"Well you're still here, so obviously I'm not THAT bad," commented Harry.

"Yes... Well someone has to keep you out of trouble," said Neville.

"A job you've done quite well, I might add," said Harry with a smirk. "If it hadn't been for you I'm sure that those goblins would have caught me and I'd have been the one spending the night in one of their holding cells. I don't think they expected a cripple to move that fast."

Neville grimaced at the memory. "Yes, well, if you could refrain from bringing THAT up, it'll make my life that much easier... Hannah is still pretty pissed about that."

"Whipped," coughed Harry.

"Not as much as you like to think I am," Neville shot back