Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Just this fanfiction.
DRACO
Destroyed.
There was no better way to describe how he felt after witnessing that scene. He had daydreamed many times about the way his meeting with Hermione would happen after returning from Bali, but nothing could have prepared him to meet her early in the morning in Potter's apartment.
In her boyfriend's apartment, he reminded internally.
The urge to hit Potter resurfaced as he got into his car, but Draco had to content himself with unleashing his rage against the wheel. Muttering every known curse he struck the object until exhausted from his outburst, leaned his head on the wheel and let the tears flow.
He didn't have much time to vent, however.
The buzzer of a car, whose entrance was blocked by his own, pulled him out of his bubble and, hastening to wipe his tears, he started his car and left the parking lot, driving through town with no idea where to go.
After a while he parked the car on a downtown street and walked around looking without really seeing the shop windows, trying to collect his thoughts. Although a part of him knew that there was a possibility that he would run into Hermione in Harry's apartment, he hadn't expected it to be under those circumstances. The image of the girl returned to his mind and anger, mixed with unease, invaded him.
And it didn't take long for him to remember the many nights he had slept cradled by Hermione's caresses, to wake up and see her wearing his clothes and with a huge smile on her face. "But now the roles have been reversed and it is Harry who has her by his side."
His phone started ringing at that moment so Draco rushed to extract it from his pants, "Hello?"
"Draco is... is Harry"
Draco had to force himself to think of Ginny so as not to cut off the call for how angry he still felt, "I'm glad you called," he answered after taking a deep breath, "It's important that we have a conversation"
"Where should we meet?" Asked Harry
The blonde gave him the name of a nearby coffee shop and they arranged to meet in an hour. Since he didn't have anything else to do, Draco got there first so he settled in one of the tables furthest from the other customers and ordered an iced tea.
Harry arrived on time and headed straight for the table when he spotted Draco, sitting in the chair across from him. Neither of them knew what to say so they were grateful to be interrupted by the girl who would take their order.
"So?" Harry said after his coffee was brought to him, "What's that important matter we need to discuss about?"
"As I mentioned in my e-mail, it's about Ginny," Draco looked him straight in the eyes, "She is not well"
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Harry fidgeted in his seat
"Have you heard from her lately?" He asked after taking a sip of his tea
"I haven't heard much from her since we ended our relationship," he replied feeling increasingly nervous
"Ginny… well she's….," he didn't know how to begin
"Straight to the point Draco," Potter cut him off
"She started using drugs last summer," the blonde said and he could see how Harry's expression changed.
From Potter's shocked face, he clearly expected to hear anything but that, "You mean, for fun or...?"
"I don't know exactly how it started," he admitted and continued, "But at some point it got out of control and she had an overdose just over a month ago"
"Is she ok?" Harry asked instantly
"She is now," Draco admitted. "I managed to convince her to go into a rehab center when she got out of the hospital, and she's been getting treatment ever since".
"But... then," he cleared his throat, "How do I fit into this story?"
"She needs you," Draco tried to sound as sincere as he could, "She has improved a lot in managing her addiction but emotionally she is not quite right".
"Emotionally?"
Draco set aside his empty iced tea cup and began to massage his forehead, tired of the boy's questions, "Look Potter, if I'm here asking you to take the trouble to talk to Ginevra it's based on her therapist recommendation. Do not think that it gives me pleasure to have this conversation with you, but as I told you, Ginevra needs you. So it would help a lot if you visited her and you could talk, so she could finish her unfinished business with you"
"I don't know," Harry moved uncomfortably in his chair, "I, I don't think..."
"I know you have a new relationship now," he forced himself to say, "But please do it for Ginny, she has to continue in her way to recovery," he repeated
Harry was no fool and he knew Draco well enough to notice that he was clearly holding back how affected he felt. He'd seen the look of pain in his eyes that morning in his apartment, so he was extremely surprised at how well Malfoy seemed to be handling this situation.
"He's doing all this for Ginny," he thought as he remembered Hermione's words, "It's clear that he didn't return for me, but for Ginny."
"Why are you so interested in me going to that center?" He inquired, "Why are you suddenly so concerned about Ginny?"
"She is my friend and I want to help her. She has no one else and now more than ever she needs someone to support her".
"And that someone is supposed to be you?"
Draco sighed and, pulling out a brochure from the rehab center, spread it across the table, "Here you will find all the necessary information. If you go to see Ginny, and I really hope you do, the visits are on weekends".
Draco was about to stand up when Harry called out to him.
"Wait!"
"Do you need to know anything else?"
"Yes," Harry placed his almond green eyes on his gray, "If you've been here in Boston all this time then why didn't you approach Hermione? Or have you moved on from her?"
The blond tried to read the expression of his childhood friend but couldn't quite decipher it. He thought to recognize, however, a mixture of jealousy and insecurity. Maybe that was why he decided to answer him honestly.
"Hermione was the only reason I came back"
"Then why…?"
"Then I found out she was with someone else, someone much better than me".
Harry stayed in the cafeteria for a while thinking about everything Draco had just told him and admitted.
After that last answer, Malfoy had simply stood up and left the room. And Harry hadn't thought of what to reply so he simply ordered another coffee and started reading the information from the rehab center.
The story still seemed implausible to him. Drugs? Overdose? Ginny in the middle of all that?
Harry paid the bill and walked to his car with only one question in mind: whether or not to visit Ginny. Once in his apartment he flopped down on his bed and tried to analyze the situation as logically as possible, ready to make a decision, but all he could think about was the redhead and the last time he saw her outside that disco.
"I should have noticed" he thought while cursing himself internally "I should have noticed that there was something strange about her and that group she was with. I'm a fucking asshole" he sighed as he sat back down on the bed and remembered the pleading look in her hazel eyes.
But he had just ignored her, still hurt by everything that happened during their relationship. And Harry knew he had a right to feel that way, but at the same time, and just because they weren't together, that surely didn't mean he shouldn't care about her anymore, right?
Harry buried his face in his hands and left the apartment again. There was only one person he could discuss the matter with, so he went looking for her.
"Hermione!" He had waited for her outside the classroom where he knew she would have classes
"Harry," she approached him and instantly noticed his tormented expression, "You spoke with Draco"
"Can we go somewhere else?" He asked and she nodded
The girl's bedroom was not that close but it was the only place where they could talk without being interrupted.
"What did he say?" Hermione asked when she closed the door behind her
"It's Ginny," he sighed while sitting on her bed, "She's admitted in a drug rehab center"
Hermione probably had the same look of surprise that he had during his talk with Draco.
"Draco contacted me to ask me to visit her and talk to her, you know to… to help her cope with all this."
"Help her? You?"
"Yes, that is, to help her emotionally and..."
Hermione snorted, feeling suddenly angry.
"And why should you help her? Have you already forgotten everything she did to you? She lied to you and manipulated you and…!"
"I have all that very present in mind Hermione, believe me"
The girl turned her back on him, trying to breathe deeply to calm herself. She didn't want to fight with Harry but at the same time she needed to release into someone the frustration, anger and pain that she was feeling since that morning.
Hermione felt Harry's arms tentatively around her shoulders but she pulled away from his touch, feeling uncomfortable.
"What is not clear to me is why you came to tell me all of this," she said facing him once more
"I'm telling you because I need you to help me..."
"No, Harry, don't," she stopped him; "We both know that you already made your decision. You're going to go see her no matter if I agree or not".
Harry sighed, visibly defeated and looking at her pleadingly, "Understand me Mione, please. I need to talk to her and find out if anything about her situation is my fault"
"That's ridiculous!" She replied with a harder voice than she thought, "God! This is all ridiculous. And a mistake, I knew it was a mistake"
"A mistake?"
"Us! Or has the prospect of meeting Ginny again made you forget the fact that we are in a relationship?"
"Of course not," he shook his head, "How can you believe that? Of course I remember"
"Well, it doesn't seem like it!"
Hermione sat on her bed and it was her turn to bury her face in her hands. Harry thought for a moment she was crying but her face was clean when she faced him again a few seconds later.
"Go away Harry"
"Mione, please, let me explain"
"There is nothing to explain," she sighed, "I think a part of me always knew that you never got over her. It was pretty obvious, actually"
"Mione..."
"No. No. I need to be alone"
"And what about us?"
Hermione didn't respond, she just stood up and opened her bedroom door. Harry wanted to stay and try to explain once more how he felt, but one glance at the girl's expression made him realize that it would be better to give her the space that she clearly needed. So muttering a goodbye he left the room.
The feeling of acting hopelessly like an idiot followed him until he reached his room.
On the one hand, he hated fighting with Hermione. In more than two years of friendship they had never had a fight like this, and it was causing Harry too much anxiety to think that maybe this would cause her to walk away from his life.
But on the other hand he couldn't help but feel apprehensive about the prospect of going to meet Ginny as well. He didn't know in what conditions he would find her and he had no idea what to say to her but... he had to see her. What he had said to Hermione was true, he needed to talk to her to try to alleviate the guilt he felt in case he had had something to do with her addiction.
Harry spent the night locked in his room and when it began to dawn he took his keys and went to his car. The rehab center was far away from the city but he had no difficulty finding it. Harry parked the car fearing he would be the first to arrive, but apparently several families were already there, eager as he was to see the patients.
"Can I help you?" Asked a kind woman with a squeaky voice.
"I'm here to visit Ginny Weasley," replied
"What is your name? It is to verify if you're on the list of authorized persons," she explained
"Yeah well, Harry Potter," he said, fearing that he would be denied seeing her.
"Yes, here it is," the woman smiled, "Mr. Malfoy called yesterday to inscribe your name".
"Where is she? Can I see her?"
The woman nodded and, realizing that it was the first time that Harry had been to the center, she guided him to the common room where the patients received their families. But Ginny wasn't there.
"She is not here," he said, suddenly nervous
"It must be because Draco called saying he couldn't come this morning," she mused, "But Ginny's probably in the gardens. It is where she spends most of her free time".
"The gardens? How can I get there?" Harry asked
The woman pointed him in the direction and he walked, almost ran, to the gardens.
And then he saw her.
Sitting at a wooden table and lazily flipping through a magazine while fiddling with a rubber ball in her other hand.
The gardens were practically deserted, but still she didn't notice him until he was on the other side of the table. When the redhead looked up she stood up instantly, dropping the ball.
"Harry?" She gasped in disbelief
The boy closed the distance between them and hugged her tightly, losing himself in her silky copper hair, "Thank God you're okay," he whispered close to her ear making her flinch.
Ginny closed her eyes and hugged Harry, letting his scent wash over her and trying to hold back the tears at having him so close again.
"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" She asked when they finally parted
"Draco contacted me and told everything," Harry admitted
"Damn it," she mumbled annoyed, "I didn't want anyone to see me here. Especially you," admitted blushing
Harry cleared his throat, suddenly aware of how close they had been.
"Ginny," she looked at him with her big hazel eyes, "Please tell me it wasn't me who pushed you into this"
Harry's voice sounded tortured as that thought had consumed him all night.
"That's why you came, right?"
Harry nodded, and Ginny felt her heart sink. A part of her had hoped when she saw him that he had returned to be with her, that everything would be as before. But clearly he had returned because he felt guilty.
And there was an opportunity.
She could tell him that yes, that he had been the reason for the beginning of her addictions, she could lie to him again and manipulate him until she got him back by her side. But what she said was something else
"You weren't the reason Harry. You had nothing to do with me starting to use drugs"
Ginny sat down at the table again and Harry followed suit.
"Then why...," he didn't finish the question
"Because I was very stupid," she said after a moment, "I was weak and I thought it would be a good distraction from the disaster that my life had become. There was… there was a lot going on around me and I just took the easy way out".
What kind of things? - I ask
"My parents mainly," she whispered and a tear fell down her cheek, "My mother was not well at that time. And my father, well he... he asked for a divorce and," Ginny's voice cracked so she cleared her throat, "Harry, I know they never got along quite well but they always tried to be together for me, but anyway that wasn't what affected me the most. It was the fact that he had no regard for my mother's condition; he just pushed her aside as if she were worthless and exchanged us for an improved version of family".
Harry heard her confession and felt a lump in his throat. Not once while they were together had she mentioned her parents in such detail. Nor that he had asked either.
The words Draco had said so long ago about not really knowing her came back to his mind, "Ginny I uh... I really had no idea that your parents weren't together anymore. There are actually a lot of things about you that I don't know," he admitted
"It's not your fault," she replied understanding Harry's discomfort. "I never liked talking about my parents or any aspect of my family life. It was easier to ignore all that drama."
"Even so... I would like to understand you a little better. When you say for example that your mother wasn't well..."
He left the question hanging in the air and she sighed.
"My mother has not been well since the death of my brother"
"I thought you were an only child," he commented feeling like an idiot
"I had a brother," Ginny said in a thick voice. "My parents married very young and Mom got pregnant with Freddie soon after. Everything was going very well between them but suddenly my little brother fell ill. He was just six months old and there wasn't much the doctors could do. He died just a few weeks later and mom, she... she was devastated so she developed a very strong depression," Ginny's voice cracked again, "It didn't help much that she had two miscarriages a while later, nor that dad took refuge in work and other women. From what I know he wasn't even trying to hide his affairs"
"And you were born after that?" He asked
"Three years later," she answered, "Mom, she was happy at first or at least I think she was. But despite the antidepressants and therapy, she was never very present in my life. She didn't take too much care of me when I was a baby, I grew up mostly with babysitters. And at first I didn't understand it, you know? I mean when I was a little girl. The only memories of her were seeing her alone or crying. She never paid too much attention to me and voluntarily walked away from me, and that made me feel like I wasn't enough at that time," she admitted, "But as I grew older I understood and realized that she was afraid. She was scared that something would happen to me and maybe that's why she never managed to fully connect with me as a baby. Dad on the other hand, gave me all the care he should have also given to mom. I was his little princess, he filled me with gifts, spoiling me with expensive things".
"And how is your mom now?"
"Oh she's getting better," Ginny smiled sweetly, "I mean last summer she had a relapse and had to receive treatment for a while. And it was right there when dad decided he wanted a divorce because now he has a new son, "she sighed, "I know it sounds silly to wish they had always been together because in the end they just hurt each other but still"
"I understand," Harry nodded
She gave him a sad sideways smile before continuing, "Then dad got mad at me because I said things about his new family and it didn't help that I started failing my courses and lost the semester," her cheeks turned pink, highlighting the freckles on her face even more, "And as I said I took what seemed to be the easy way out and ended up losing control."
"You had an overdose"
"That was a harsh awakening," she agreed, "When I woke up in that hospital I felt so weak and I was in so much pain. I couldn't remember much of what had happened and I was scared by the feeling, the need to keep using drugs. So I accepted Draco's idea and came here."
When Ginny finished speaking, Harry didn't know what to say, so he took one of her hands in his and squeezed it gently.
"Thanks for listening to me," she said
"Thank you for trusting in me," he replied with a smile
"Harry, I...," she looked at him, "I have to take advantage of you being here to apologize"
"Ginny don't…"
"No, please, I have to," she looked him straight in the eyes, "I know I apologized that time in Louisiana but, to be honest, I really didn't feel sorry for what I had done back then. Not completely, at least. But now I am aware that I hurt you a lot, that I damaged your future and that I behaved like the greatest and selfish person," her hazel eyes shone with the contained tears, "Harry... I am aware that I do not deserve you to be here, so I really appreciate that you came after everything I did, after how I screwed up everything because of my childish behavior. I'm sorry Harry, I'm really sorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me"
Harry was silent just watching her, so Ginny mustered what little courage she had left and kept talking.
"And I must also take this opportunity," she said while thinking internally that perhaps it would be the last time he was willing to listen to her, "To tell you that I was not pretending. Yes, I lied and approached you with the excuse of philanthropy, but I never lied about my feelings for you. You were the only man I have ever loved and you were the most special person in my life".
"Ginny please..."
"No, I'm sorry, Harry. I know you are not here to be with me again," she said with a weak smile, "I know that now you have a relationship with Hermione and believe it or not, I'm glad you two are together. You both deserve to be happy".
Harry was saved from having to answer because they were interrupted by the laughter of a group of families making their entrance into the garden.
"I think I should go," he said appreciating the distraction, as he was beginning to feel too overwhelmed by her confessions
"Oh right," Ginny nibbled her lips, "I'll walk you out"
They walked in silence to the entrance building, where he had left his car.
"Thanks for coming," she said again
"Ginny... I really hope you get better," he said
"Thank you," she whispered, "I hope everything goes well for you too Harry"
He smiled at her and, not knowing what else to say, got into the car and pulled away quickly, losing himself on the road and unable to stop looking at Ginny in the rear view mirror until her image was lost.
Once in his apartment Harry couldn't help but think about everything the girl had told him. And also in how strange it had been not only to find her in that place, but also in how different she looked. Not only physically- luckily she looked much better than in their last meeting- but in her demeanor, in her serene, mature appearance, in how genuine she had sounded when she told him that she wanted him to be happy with Hermione.
To pass the time he prepared something to eat and tried to entertain himself by watching TV. He knew Hermione worked most of Saturday and needed to go see her and clear things up with her. The problem was, aside from apologizing for yesterday's fight, Harry didn't know what else to say.
Even so, and when the night began to fall, the boy went in search of her. Fortunately she was already in her room when he arrived.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked as she opened the door.
"Hi Mione, can I come in?"
She seemed to think about it for a minute but finally stepped aside, "I didn't expect to see you so soon," she said as she closed the door
"Oh come on Mione, don't be like that," Harry sighed, "I can't be the only one who hated the way we left things yesterday"
Hermione bit her tongue to not respond. Of course she was affected by her fight with Harry but she was too angry with him to just accept his apologize.
"Did you go to that center?"
"Yes, I went this morning," Harry admitted
"Wow! You couldn't wait for too long to see her"
"Mione please..."
"And how is she?" She interrupted him
"Better than I expected," his voice sounded filled with relieved
"Well, I hope she recovers completely," she replied curtly, "I really hope so"
"I know Mione, I know you are a good person"
"I know you're a good person? What is that supposed to mean?" She asked annoyed
"What…?"
"Sorry if I'm not jumping with happiness because you saw Ginny again or because she is fine! Excuse me that I still care that she was terribly mean to me"
"I never hinted otherwise so don't twist my words Hermione," Harry was also beginning to get angry, "I came here to apologize because I know I hurt you when I decided to go see Ginny, but I beg you to understand me, I needed to talk to her. And besides, nothing else happened. It's not like I've decided to give her another chance or..."
"And why don't you do just that? You clearly feel more for her than you do for me. And no, don't deny it Harry, you know as well as I do that your heart was never completely in our relationship," she said making a gesture with her hand simulating quotation marks
"That is not fair! That's not fair at all Mione!"
"But it is the truth"
Hermione pulled away from him and went to the side of the room that belonged to Alicia.
"I understand that you are angry Mione but since yesterday you're insisting in trying to fight me. Is this all about me or is it about Draco too? Is it because he didn't look for you when...?"
Harry didn't finish. A tearful Alicia stormed into the room and sought refuge in her friend's arms.
"Ali! What happened? What's wrong?" Hermione asked
"I'm broke up with Julian," she answered between sobs.
Knowing that this was not the time to continue the conversation, Harry gave Hermione a defeated look.
"We'll talk later, I guess," he said
"I'll call you," she agreed before focusing all her attention on her crying friend
She hadn't called him.
Since the night Hermione had comforted Alicia about her breakup with Julian, six days had passed and she hadn't called him.
Hermione was deliberately avoiding Harry. The boy had called her and sent her numerous text messages but she had only answered one asking for time and space. And he seemed more than happy to honor her request.
The truth is that the brunette was not sure why she was avoiding him. That is, she knew that Harry had not betrayed her with Ginny, she trusted him enough to be certain that nothing had happened during their conversation at the center where she was interned, but even so ... was Harry right? Was she just looking for excuses to keep fighting?
"It's Ginny's fault," she said to herself, "It just bothers me because it's about her. She may not be well now, but that doesn't take away all that she made me suffer in the past." But just having these kinds of thoughts scared her. She had never been spiteful or vindictive, and yet she had changed so much in recent months.
A tear rolled down her cheek and Hermione wiped it away immediately. The afternoon was ending and the twilight sun was filtering through the window that illuminated the many cubicles of the NGO where she worked. She no longer had any other pending so she turned off the work computer and took her bag, ready to go back to her room, take a bath and start reading the pile of books that she had bought more than a month ago and had not even opened .
She was leaving the building when she ran into her friends: Luna, Susan and Tracey.
"Hermione!" The girls rushed to hug her
"What are you doing here?" She asked, surprised to find them outside her work place
"What are we doing here? Hermione tomorrow is your birthday!" Susan replied amused
"We had plans to celebrate, remember? To spend the night together," Tracey added
Her birthday. Tomorrow was her birthday and Hermione had forgotten about it, engrossed as she was in the drama of her relationship with Harry, Ginny and...
"Our plans, yes, of course"
"Are you okay Hermione? You seem... distracted," Luna said
"I'm just a little tired. The truth is that…"
"No, no, no, no," Tracey linked her arm with Hermione's, "No excuses. It's Friday, it's almost night, so we'll go to have some dinner and then we'll go for a few drinks, maybe dance, to celebrate your special day".
"But I'm not even dressed for the occasion," Hermione complained
"We'll go with you to your room so you can change. Our restaurant reservation is still in a couple of hours. We have it all planned Hermione Granger so you better not try to escape"
Susan smiled at her and Hermione agreed. Besides she could use some fun with the girls and it was almost her birthday! It would be nice to go out and chill for a bit.
They returned to their room and the girls settled into Hermione's bed while she took a shower and changed. She opted for a dark red dress that fitted her body very well and came down to her knees. She also put down her natural, wild curls and applied makeup before returning to her friends.
"I'm ready," she announced
"You look gorgeous!"
The girls squealed in excitement as they said compliments on her appearance.
"You can tell your roommate to join us if she wishes," said Susan
"Oh I wish but Ali is out of town at an art show"
Hermione grabbed one of her small party purses and then walked out with the girls.
They got into Susan's car and went to the restaurant where they had the reservation. The place was small but quite cute and cozy. They drank champagne and even celebrated Hermione with a cupcake and a candle.
"Thank you girls, that was the best dinner I've had in a long time," she said when they left the restaurant and got back to Susan's car.
"Now the second part of the celebration"
Tracey led them to a bar that was far away from campus. The atmosphere inside was very energetic and there were many people already in the place even though it wasn't that late. The girls sat at a table and ordered shots of tequila.
"On the count of three, to the bottom," Tracey laughed
Hermione drank her shot and although the alcohol taste was quite strong, she liked how it made her feel.
"Let's Dance"
Luna took Hermione's hand and the other two rushed to follow.
She kept dancing with them for a long while, so she was feeling very exhausted when they returned to their table for another round of drinks, this time cocktails at the request of Susan, who had an exam the next afternoon and didn't want to spend the morning with a hungover.
They were chatting excitedly about a possible hike or excursion when suddenly Tracey spoke up.
"Hermione there's a blond man who hasn't taken his eyes off you for a while," she said with a giggle
"Tracey! Hermione has a boyfriend," Luna said
"Yeah and? I'm just telling her that..."
Hermione felt her heart skip as she slowly turned and took in the person Tracey had mentioned.
She had no doubt who it was as she instantly recognized the long figure of Draco on the other side of the bar, leaning on the counter with a glass in his hand and talking to a group of people but with his gaze fixed on her.
"I uh... I think I should go back to campus," Hermione said turning quickly and taking her bag"
"What? Why?" Luna asked
"Girls, I'm so very grateful for this celebration but..."
"Is it because of what I said about that blonde? Hermione I'm sorry if my comment bothered you, I didn't mean to upset you," Tracey said
"No, no, Tracey is not that. It's just that it was a long day and I'm feeling a bit tired so I better go."
"Are you sure?" Susan wanted to know and Hermione nodded, "Then will go with you"
"No, it's not necessary," Hermione replied. "You guys are having such a good time here, please stay."
"But"
"Seriously girls, stay. Thank you so much for everything".
"Will you be ok?" Luna took her by the hand
"Yeah, of course"
Hermione said goodbye to her friends and left the bar.
The warm night air greeted her on the street and Hermione hurried to find a taxi.
"Hermione"
That voice. Hermione also recognized that voice immediately but didn't turn around.
"Hermione, please..."
"Go away Draco"
The brunette started walking in the direction of another street trying to improve her luck at finding a taxi.
He didn't delay in following her and very soon he was by her side.
"Hermione I know..."
"Why are you following me?" She asked facing him now
"I didn't follow you to that bar, if that's what you're asking," he said in a calm voice, "I came here with some colleagues from work and I was as surprised as you when I saw you there"
Hermione didn't say anything, she just kept walking.
"You were celebrating your birthday in there, right? Please don't stop celebrating because of me".
"It wasn't because of you that I got out of there," she lied, annoyed, "I need to go to my bedroom early, it's just that"
She didn't know if he had believed her but she didn't dare see his expression either, she just stopped on another street and extended her arm, calling for a taxi.
"I know you don't want to talk to me but at least let me take you back to campus," he asked
"No, thanks, I can go back by myself"
Hermione kept insisting but every taxi was busy or not stopping
"Damn it!" she mumbled angrily
"Please let me take you to campus," Draco hadn't left her side
Hermione ignored him
"My car is near here, please Hermione".
"I already said that..."
"No taxi is stopping and more than fifteen minutes have passed. This is not the best area in town and we are too far from campus for you to walk. It's just a ride, nothing more".
But it was much more than that. Hermione didn't want to be around him.
And yet Draco was right. She already had spent a long time without finding a taxi and requesting one in an application would probably mean waiting for longer. And she didn't want to be left alone in that neighborhood. She also didn't want to go into the bar and ruin the girls' night.
"Fine, let's go to your car," she finally said through her teeth
Draco nodded and led the way to a silver-colored car similar to the one he used to have.
Hermione snuggled into the leather sit and tilted her gaze, so she didn't have to face Draco, but he didn't even try to initiate a conversation during the ride.
Hermione told him how to get to her building and once he parked, she quickly got out of the car without saying a word and entered the place.
She was in front of her door, looking in her purse, when she realized that she didn't have the keys. Hermione searched through her things once again but the keys weren't there. She had probably left it in the purse she had used for work.
"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered
"Is everything ok?" Draco's voice came from behind her
"What the hell are you still doing here?" She asked, glaring at him
"I wanted to make sure you were safe"
Hermione snorted and tried to push the door but she knew it wouldn't do any difference.
"Isn't your roommate in there?"
"If she were there I would have called her already, don't you think?"
Draco didn't reply, he just sighed
"I can take you to Harry's if you want"
It wasn't a bad option, it would actually have been her first choice in other circumstances but she had been ignoring him all those days and she didn't feel like seeing him, not yet.
"Hermione?"
"What?" She pierced him with her gaze, "Leave me alone Draco, get out of here"
"I just want you to be fine," he whispered
"I am fine. I've been fine ever since I walked away from you", she said angrily and had to bite her tongue to not apologize instantly when she noticed the expression of pain that crossed his face.
But despite the pang of guilt she felt, Hermione continued to ignore him.
"I can take you with some of your friends if you prefer," he proposed
"No, just... leave me here, I'll go see the janitor and ask for an extra copy of the keys"
That was a good idea or at least her best idea at the moment, although she knew that Mr. Jones wouldn't be at all happy to be disturbed at this time of the night.
"Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones," said knocking on the door of the bedroom where the janitor lived
"Miss Granger?" Asked a sleepy and clearly angry man
"Mr. Jones I'm sorry to bother you but I need a copy of my keys. You see I had a problem and…."
"Sorry Miss Granger but the last copy I had I gave you when you moved in," Mr. Jones didn't even let her finish, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm too tired and I'll go to sleep"
The man closed the door of his room without giving her the option to say anything else.
"What happened? Did you get the key?"
Draco was still there, leaning against the hallway wall.
"No," Hermione sighed and mimicked his pose.
"So you plan to stay out here all night?"
"My roommate will be here tomorrow morning so I won't have to wait for too long"
"You can't spend the night in the hall. Surely Harry…"
"Enough Draco! Please just go"
"If you don't want to see Harry or go with your friends, you could stay with me tonight"
"Why the hell would I spend the night with you?" Hermione asked annoyed
"I didn't say it that way. I was just offering you a place to stay"
"And you think the fraternity would be my first option? I'm not going back to that place!"
"I don't live there anymore. Now I have an apartment on the outskirts of campus. You would only be there for a couple of hours, as you said yourself your roommate will be back early in the morning"
Hermione searched his gaze trying to see if there was any trace of an ulterior motive behind his proposal, but Draco just seemed genuinely concerned.
"Beside it will be your birthday in a couple of hours and I don't think you..."
"Fine," she accepted, "But I'll be back here at first time tomorrow"
Hermione paced up to Draco's car and got in after slamming the door. Draco entered just a few moments later and the ride set off in the middle of another uncomfortable silence.
Hermione entered the apartment unable to avoid feeling nervous, but managed to keep her angry expression steady and focused on observing the place. The apartment was small and very neat and clean, as well as soberly decorated.
"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked making her look at him again
"May I use the bathroom?" She asked in response
"Sure"
Draco pointed to the only door at the end of the tiny hallway.
"I'm sorry but the bathroom is inside the room"
"Whatever," she sighed
Still feeling restless, she entered the room and went straight to the bathroom, taking advantage of her time alone to freshen up a bit before heading back to the living room.
She was about to cross the room to leave when she noticed a photograph on the nightstand that made her heart stop for a moment. Unable to believe what she was seeing, she walked over the room and picked up the picture frame that contained a photo of Draco and…her.
Hermione had a huge smile in the photo as Draco hugged her around the waist from behind and had his face buried in her long hair. It took her only seconds to locate the moment when the photo was taken.
"Hermione, is everything ok?"
Draco's voice asked from the other side of the door, but Hermione was too focused on wondering what was the meaning for him having that picture on his nightstand, to hear his question.
"Hermione are you ok?"
Draco waited for her to answer, but when she didn't, he decided to enter the room.
"Hermione?" He called again
She slowly turned around and Draco noticed that her gaze was watery.
"What is this supposed to mean?" She asked while holding the picture frame with the photo of both of them, "Why do you have this photo here?"
"I think you know that answer," he replied
"It doesn't make any sense for you to have this," she shook her head, "Why would you want to have this photo?"
"Because I still love you," he answered without hesitation, "Because I have spent all these months missing you and suffering for not being by your side. And because now the only things I have left are the memories of the best summer of my life... with you," he ended with a deep sigh of relief for having finally been able to confess his feelings to her
Hermione had listened to his explanation without interrupting him as she tried to control the crazy urge she had to run into his arms, but she didn't think she could hold back any longer, so she had to get out of that department as soon as possible before she did something foolish.
"I'm leaving now," she said walking towards the door
"Hermione, please," he took her firmly by the arms, "Don't go, I didn't mean to bother you. Sorry, I know I shouldn't have said any of that but please stay and let's talk like two adults. We have both suffered too much already and..."
Hearing that last phrase produced that an intense rage ran through Hermione with such force that she managed to shake off Draco's grip and back away.
"What? That we have both suffered too much?" She asked, still unable to believe his words, "How exactly did you suffer, eh Draco? Was it because I interrupt you and your little friend when you haven't come inside of her yet?"
"I wasn't talking about that Hermione," Draco tried to explain but she interrupted him
"Do you know how much I suffered that night Draco? Do you know? NO! You have no idea how I felt when I found you in your room with another woman," she said while tears soaked her face
"Hermione, I..."
"I spent weeks with those images in my head while I repeated each conversation of ours trying to understand what I had done wrong, at what point I made a mistake so that you would cheat on me"
"No, no please," Draco's face had also filled with tears, "Hermione, you didn't do anything wrong, that was never your fault. I am the one to blame, it was me who destroyed everything we had"
"Oh, believe me now I know that," she glared at him, "But do you know how many nights I cried in my bed while blaming myself for not being enough for you?"
"You were always more than enough. I was the one who never deserved you Hermione"
"It's very easy to say that now, isn't it?"
"No, it's not easy! None of this is easy!" He replied, shaking his head, "Believe it or not, I also suffered Hermione, I suffered all those months in Bali being haunted by guilt, the guilt of having ended with the best thing I had in my life. The guilt of hurting the person I loved the most"
Draco's voice cracked and he looked at her with tortured eyes. Hermione held his gaze firmly but inside she felt weaker than ever at seeing him so defeated
"All this time it has been hell without you," he continued, "Every day I thought of you, every day I remembered our moments together and I tortured myself thinking that maybe you had already found someone else. And it turned out that you really did;" his voice cracked again, "Now you have Harry and you know? He really deserves you, Hermione," she wanted to say something but he continued, "Yes because, to be honest, he was the one who truly understood you, he was the one who realized how much it cost you to try to fit in the sorority. But I… I never realized how insecure or weak you felt"
"But I'm not weak anymore. You and Ginny took care of that," she replied
He kept shedding silent tears and she turned her back on him, unable to continue to see him in that state.
"I'd better go," she said after a while
"Please stay here," he hastened to answer, "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, so you won't have to see me"
Draco hurried out of his room and closed the door behind him.
Once alone Hermione sat on the edge of his bed and, almost instinctively, looked back at the photograph. The urge to toss the object across the room resurfaced, but she held it back as she kicked off her shoes and settled into the sheets.
Only Hermione was finding it awfully difficult to sleep that night.
Besides the still familiar scent of Draco being imprinted on the pillow and sheets, there was also the fact that he was only a few feet away.
"I have to get out of here before I do something crazy", she thought. So she waited until the sun started to appear and, taking her shoes, she quietly left the room.
She found Draco sleeping peacefully on the couch in the living room. Unable to avoid it, she approached to take a better look at him and marveled at how handsome he looked despite the evident signs that he had been crying. Driven by a sudden impulse, she gently stroked his platinum blonde hair before leaving the apartment.
A/N: Hello! This story is close to the end and this is the penultimate chapter, so I hope you enjoy this last few chapters.